Cate's Diary

Darn, I missed so much of your life in the last few days - I always forget that the alerts don't show all the diaries I am watching. So sorry! I think with that woman who needs her clique to approve of her lunch dates, you can't take that personally. That is a highly dependent person who doesn't know herself and so won't treat you as a separate person with your own needs, because she doesn't even know to treat herself as one. I find that when I am learning to take better care of myself and put my needs as high priority people like that really stick out because they obviously do not see me as a separate person apart from a group and only see how I affect their group. It's really a big loss for her that she doesn't feel she can have a great friend like you outside of her clique.

I am happy you have a potential new doctor who understands about chemical sensitivities. That would be such a huge and wonderful change! Maybe the new doctor will know about intermittent fasting or can refer you to someone who knows. I really hope you find the perfect doctors for you!! I also hope that with less stress and proper diagnosis your system will do better and maybe you won't need to be on heavy meds.

Anyway, I hope you get all sorts of time to relax and laze about and be happy and aimless for a while - you guys definitely deserve some down time!!!! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
 
Oh, Marsia. You really hit the nail on the head. I have been shocked that a few of the women aren't considering how I might feel & are more worried about what they will now have to do.
I'm still feeling a bit hurt but this has helped me to see things more clearly.
I have an appointment with the counsellor on Thursday. I'm actually looking forward to it.
I do feel that I am coping better with stress mentally. My heart I'm not so sure of. I'll see the cardiologist soon. I am not sure what order to do things as my referrals are from my current doctor.
Thank you Marsia for your last post. You helped me process that phone call a little bit more. The club is a huge part of her life I know, but I was so shocked by her attitude. Everyday G & I feel more certain that we have made the right decision.
 
I was rather more shocked about the order in which she complained about things.
1) I will miss your husband
2) I will now have to do more work
3) O... I guess that means I'll miss you as well. So rude.
 
That's really an obnoxious response to someone leaving who you was supposedly a friend, to just be worried about picking up your chores and responsibilities. I am happy you are leaving. It seems like a whole group of people with no manners who don't know how to be a real friend. I agree with LaMa. Nice you are leaving them behind!!!
 
You are both right.
I need to move on though. I got upset talking to G about it today, so I had better stop. Ruminating is a thing of the past.
I am going to keep in touch with two of the women & arrange a lunch date. I also will invite a couple of other friends. I use the word friend wisely & carefully.
G & I had a lovely day today. We went for a Sunday drive, walked along a lovely quiet beach & had lunch at a cherry farm. We talked a lot about our new life & we both decided we would investigate doing some volunteer work ( carefully) with migrants. I also said we don't need to do everything together. I think we also need our own space. I would be happy for him to find his own new space (men's shed?) & I am going to explore relaxation/meditation/dance(???) etc classes.
I feel better & better every day. We still have a lot to get through with the g club, but we'll get there! :)
 
On my god!! Cate well that says it all . There is a definite clique at work there and a queen bee they answer too . I am thrilled you have both stepped away from the club good on you both .
Hope the picnic goes well it sounds really delicious.
 
Weird just realised I missed your last post . Volunteering sounds really good . Yes use the term friend wisely. Sometimes I think good acquaintances is more apt .
 
Thanks Petal, LaMa & Tru.
I think I will adjust easier than G will. I think the men's shed is a great concept as it gives men that opportunity to talk with other men in a neutral & positive space. It would do him good. I have a plan :)
I have a lovely old chair with a broken leg. I had suggested we ask at the men's shed on Tuesday.
 
cate said:
Thanks Petal, LaMa & Tru.
I think I will adjust easier than G will. I think the men's shed is a great concept as it gives men that opportunity to talk with other men in a neutral & positive space. It would do him good. I have a plan :)
I have a lovely old chair with a broken leg. I had suggested we ask at the men's shed on Tuesday.
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Very clever idea Cate .
 
I think it's great you are going to be trying your own new things!!! And I imagine your feelings about the weird people at the club will fade fast once you find other more engaging things to do!
 
The cherry farm sounds lovely. I want to hear more about the dance classes you plan on doing. When are you going to sign up?
 
Petal001 said:
Very clever idea Cate .
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Thanks, Petal. I hope it works. Either way I should get the chair fixed :)
Marsia said:
I think it's great you are going to be trying your own new things!!! And I imagine your feelings about the weird people at the club will fade fast once you find other more engaging things to do!
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I'm sure they will, Marsia. I want to investigate new things carefully & won't be joining any new clubs anytime soon. I don't feel the need to belong to a group. This experience has really reinforced my feelings against being part of a "collective", with the exception of this forum.
Emilyrose said:
The cherry farm sounds lovely. I want to hear more about the dance classes you plan on doing. When are you going to sign up?
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The cherry farm is lovely, Em. I have absolutely no idea what I will do yet. I need to see the cardiologist before I start anything too physical as I feel that my heart is not right. I don't know if it is the stress that I have been under but am not going to risk it.

Weight- Yes, I weighed myself this morning. I regained a kilo over the last month & have 9 kilos to lose to get back to my happy weight. I have no idea how I'm going to do it at this stage. I really want to get back to IF, but I had palpitations & Arrhythmia when I was doing it & need to get my heart checked asap. I should hear back from the cardio soon with an appointment. I feel that I am on hold & that is very frustrating.
I'm going to have to come up with a temporary plan though but am struggling a bit with that. I do think there is something amiss with my heart. What I might do is weigh myself every day & take my BP morning & night until I see him. I'll try to log in to MFP every day as well & try to stay under 1500 cals a day.
 
Wow, Cate, that sounds scary. Maybe they can squeeze you in without an appointment to make sure you are ok if you tell them all the symptoms you are experiencing? I'm glad you are going to do calorie counting. Maybe gentle short walks if it feels good, too? For me, what works best for losing weight is being happy and eating healthy and under the calorie limit. The rest of the stuff is helpful, but probably not as important. You could also put on some music while doing chores and dance in little short spurts if that doesn't feel bad to do? Anyway, I hope your cardiologist can see you very soon!!! Thinking happy calm thoughts for you!!! :grouphug:
 
I think Marsia had said it there its lifestyle really . You eat healthy from what I see and now you have got rid of stress I think you will notice change . Stress and unhappiness is when I gain weight and god knows I have had enough to last a lifetime. You have had a huge amount to contend with too recently. Think the gentle walks be ok and just relax now a little . The rest will follow . Hugs xoxo
 
I have had a really emotional day & am not up to replying to each of you, as you deserve. Thank you for your love & support. I'm going to get through tomorrow with the vets who I really care for & visit one of the women & avoid the women on Wed. If I see the woman who really hurt me with her "asking permission" etc comments I will tell her how that made me feel, but I think it's best I steer clear while I am still feeling fragile.
We have spent today doing housework, chasing chooks & getting more info together to hand over tomorrow, lots of talking, a few more tears....I think this is like a break-up!
I'll be careful. I may call in & see the cardio again on Thursday if I don't hear anything before then. It can't hurt.
 
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