Cate's Diary

Admire your ability to make it through fast days. I get sufficiently cranky any time I manage to go 12 hours between dinner and breakfast
 
That's so sweet that G weighs out the food for you! I have to chime in with everyone else and say it's great that you're saying no to things, and I love that you didn't even say why. It's not for anyone else to say that your reason for declining is a 'valid' one or not. You do what's best for you and no one else! Except G of course. Do what's best for both of you :)
 
Thanks K&D. I do get through & I'm not as cranky as I used to be, but it isn't easy. If it didn't work I wouldn't persevere!
Thanks Oaks. I keep telling G he doesn't have to give a reason. He's much more polite than me. It really felt good not going. It's practice :D
I lasted until 1.30pm to have my 1st FD meal. I have another for later & a little fruit :) It's not in me to give up I must admit. I am very stubborn :blush5:
 
Yay for feeling better! For me the advantage of fasting (such as I´ve done) is that it helps me separate the feeling of "hungry stomach" from the feeling of "hungry soul". Doesn´t mean I always listen, but it helps to be able to.
 
It doesn't hurt me to experience strong hunger pangs(like right now ). The difference between emotional "hunger" & real hunger is huge, but we all give in to it at times. I wish I never did, because it's futile, but I'm far from perfect!
If someone visited with a gluten-free Cappriciosa pizza right now I couldn't be certain I would say no!
 
Ooo I don't know how you do it, I'm terrible at fasting. If I get just a little bit too hungry I'll eat the contents of the fridge AND the pantry lol. I tried intermittent fasting once and couldn't do that either. Are you still doing 5:2?
 
I clean my teeth or have a large glass of water when I'm hungry and have eaten all I'm allowed. I wastold it stopped the hunger. All it does for me, is makes me still feel hungry, but with clean teeth
 
I am Lucy. I only did one day last week though.
Ha ha Polly.
Off to a funeral this morning & don't have much time, xo
 
cate said:
Thanks K&D. I do get through & I'm not as cranky as I used to be, but it isn't easy. If it didn't work I wouldn't persevere!
Thanks Oaks. I keep telling G he doesn't have to give a reason. He's much more polite than me. It really felt good not going. It's practice :D
I lasted until 1.30pm to have my 1st FD meal. I have another for later & a little fruit :) It's not in me to give up I must admit. I am very stubborn :blush5:
Click to expand...

Good on you for keeping this up since 2007! Very impressive! Good work preservering through the crankiness!
 
I almost forgot my own diary!
Thanks baboon. I promised myself I would stay in the forum as most people lost their weight & then disappeared. The support I had right from the start helped me get to my goal so I decided to return the favour. It also really helps me stay on track & has helped me not regain the weight. I have gone up & down a bit, but not much.
The funeral was good. It was a celebration of the sort of happy knock-about guy that he was. He was very popular. The 8-ball "family" was there in their numbers & it felt good.
It rained this morning & I woke up feeling very cheerful that I had a good excuse for not going to women's golf. :)
I also had a very restless night, so a lazy day won't go astray. Our friend was only 9 months older than me & I put myself in his widow's shoes a few times during the night. I would like to work out our funerals, file it away & then forget about it. What a chore though. I might make a start on it today. It would be so difficult if G died [ I know he has to some time :( ] & trying to plan a funeral would be awful.
The thing is- the thought of planning your funeral or making a will feels so negative & we all put it off. I will try!
Bye for now, xoxo Cate
PS I'll let you know how I go with this one :blush5:
 
Beautiful Cate, hope you are well!! I am totally guilty of disappearing...Lol, work/traveling has been busy this year's start...plus, I am more at lose with portion control now that I have achieved my goal.......I fear people will punch me in the face if I say "eating healthy is delicious, working-out is awesome" ~ hahahahaha, but anyways...I will try to stop by once in a while when I have something insightful to offer...like now, hearing you talk about planning a funeral for the future............try to think of it this way:

The only certainty that we ALL get in life (no matter of one's age, socio-economic background, race, etc.) is that we are all going to DIE! Making a huge deal out of it only happens because we fear all the things we will miss if one person goes and the other stays, or fear that we still had so much left to do, but that aspect can be resolved if you give it your best to reach what you want every day. Regardless, if you potentially think of others you love...then making arrangements for your funeral and your husband's for himself, that takes away a bit of the chaos of when that moment actually happens. I am a very spiritual person and my family and I ALWAYS talk about what we each want when that moment arrives, it sounds morbid...BUT ACTUALLY it isn't.....we talk about it in a casual way, not thinking about WHAT will happen, but WHEN it happens what would our wishes be.

My personal is...................no one sees my dead body (besides for obvious recognition, if necessary, get the most beautiful picture of myself and display that instead), no one crying over casket (bury that thing away ASAP), I want ashes to be thrown in the Xingu River (Amazon-Brazil); Hollywood-Griffith Park Area in California; and Reggia Castle Garden's in Caserta, Italy...all places I have lived - supposedly I will leave money and take care of travel arrangements for that part to actually happen, Lol. No sad songs in my funeral, it's a celebration of MY LIFE, a beautiful life...I want them to hire a Carnaval band, something to dance, and very cheery - totally ME...........and if anyone must say any words about myself, let it be a reminder that I WAS GRATEFUL, for everything - for every second, and that I considered myself to be the HAPPIEST GIRL ON PLANET EARTH!!! It gives me peace knowing that all my family and friends know that THIS, exactly THIS...is what I would want to happen when that day comes.

Hope this gives you some thought and perspective...............take care darling!

Xoxox
 
Re funerals, and at the risk of depressing everyone :blush5: We are the last in our family so we have made our wills and planned and paid for our funerals. We have no intention of going anywhere just yer mind you. We are very close and the thought of the one that is left having to plan all that is a depressing one.
 
Thanks Caligirl & Polly. I don't think it's at all morbid, but I found it very hard yesterday to come up with what I would like for them. I did choose a poem(part of a song by Jim Croce) I would like read out at mine though. I will probably change this 10 times before I do, 20 maybe.....
"If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you.

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
Again I would spend them with you.

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you"

I will make a list of what I don't want. first I think. There will be no mention of angels or heavenly archangels. I would come back & haunt anyone that let that slip through!
No sad music. I will write a letter to G & our boys saying how much they meant to me & how I want them to be happy & to watch out for one another. I did a very rough draft & have it saved on my desktop & will continue to work on it. I have to work out where the ceremony will ny will actually be & who will officiate it. There must be no religion, no coffin(unless it looks hilarious)& if G or either of our sons live in our house I want my ashes buried with our dogs in the bush under a biggish rock. I want all of our friends notified. So much to think of.... I have made a good start though. Really Caligirl you have inspired me a little to come up with something fun. There should be live music & dancing & champagne! :D

It is a work in progress, just like my life.
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
cate said:
It would be so difficult if G died [ I know he has to some time :( ] & trying to plan a funeral would be awful.
The thing is- the thought of planning your funeral or making a will feels so negative & we all put it off. I will try!
Bye for now, xoxo Cate
PS I'll let you know how I go with this one :blush5:
Click to expand...

Good luck with all of it Cate!

I completely agree, planning it feels negative. But not having a plan and being caught by surprise is even worse. When we found out my partner got sick, she didn't have life insurance! Due to some legal technicality, she wasn't eligible for one through her employer and we never bothered to get a private policy. We're 30. Why would 30-year olds need life insurance? And now she's not eligible due to a preexisting condition. Luckily it wasn't too late to settle the will, power of attorney, etc. I'm glad we already did it because having to do it when she's even worse would be exhausting. I know these things are not fun, but I can't stress how important it is to have all that paperwork taken care of. When things get really rough, it's the last thing you want to think about. It's never too early to get the paperwork done. You do it once in your life and that's it and you never have to worry about it again.
 
I know you are right baboon. I will put some more thought into it & get it down. I may just even write some stuff down & put it in with the wills etc. When I start thinking about it I get a bit emotional though. I'm not sure why my emotions are so close to the surface at the moment, but they are. I heard a song on the radio driving home yesterday "I've had the time of my life" by Mill Medley (was in Dirty Dancing) & I thought that would be a good funeral song & then I got teary :blush5: I think I have always been quite emotional, but suppressed it for a long time & now they are bubbling close to the surface.

I told my sister that I would like to think that everyone could have fun at my funeral & she said you can't make people be happy when they are sad. I'll re-think the live music then :D

Thanks Stacy for the big hug! We are always out of sync time-wise in the forum because when it's your evening it is my morning, your Winter/our Summer etc & vice versa. I love it though. We have so much in common no matter where we live. I had a lovely evening last night with our GK's & our older son. The kids have only just gone back to school after the Summer holidays(as we call them here).

Another day at home today. :D
 
My mum's funeral was a humanist one. No prayers, no hymns just what she wanted. Everyone had a chance to get up and pass on anecdotes of her, and there was a huge amount of laughter amid some tears. As well as being a damn good nurse, she won, as a child, several awards for her piano playing and we played her favourite music. She was widowed when I was 3 weeks old and worked from then until she retired at age 60, so as an only child it would have been a difficult time for me, but it turned out to be very comforting.
It's as black as Egypt's night here this morning. No snow forecast but I think we are in for a wetting.
 
Hi Cate,

Sounds like you have been going through a lot lately. Isn't it funny how life throws things at us and no matter what it is , we still get through it? I found the older I get the more people that I love are gone. It isn't fair but I guess that is how it goes. I told my wife that at my funeral , I want "I got friends in low places" by Garth Brooks played-haha. None of us know how much time we have here on Earth but we can only try to live life and be the best people we can be.

A true measure of a person is not how fancy a funeral they can afford but how many people that show up to say goodbye. I don't know about you but I want them to have to open up another room for my funeral-lol.

Just a word of advice after the many funerals for family members I have attended, when you do your Will, make sure you have a Power of Attorney and a Personal Directive done at the same time. This will make things so much easier for your family.

Okay enough morbid talk. You have been on a real weight loss journey and you did it. You really should be so proud!! I have not read all your journal yet but I am going to get through it all-lol.

Take care!
 
Polly- Your Mum's service sounds lovely & very fitting, for the strong woman that she must have been. Weather is so crazy & unpredictable these days. It never rains, but it pours is very true for Britain atm, that's for sure. Enough!
Cowboy- My life is always like this. Isn't everyone's? I'm a bit over planning my funeral now as it was making me feel too sad, so once again I have shelved it. I'll try to get back to it soon though. We will organise the personal directive next time we go to the doc though. That was on my list.
I'm amazed that you are tackling my entire diary. Wow! Now that's determination :)

I had better skedaddle as it's market day & I want to snaffle some GF slice & cake for our women's golf opening day on Wednesday. Otherwise, I'll have to ask G to make me something.
We have too much on this next few weeks with the annual 2-day vets golf tournament & a few other golf & 8-ball related events. It is good knowing that we are getting ready to extricate ourselves from the golf club work though!
Bye for now, Cate
 
I did my semi fast yesterday & was really hungry for most of the day. I'm re-evaluating it as I have stalled. I have been gaining & losing the same 2kg each week for about 3 weeks now I think. I may go back to counting calories again after my sister goes back home. She arrives next Sat & is here for 8 days. I'll reassess then. I do feel slimmer & I am 6kg lighter than I was last August. Fasting is still very difficult. I thought it would get easier.
G & I are off to the tip & the golf club to get rid of all the re-cycling & rubbish & an elderly friend's rubbish today, visit Mum & then a leisurely afternoon. Better go, so we can get it done with before it's too hot.
Cheers, Cate.
 
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