Cate's Diary

AHang in there cate, you have made it through some bad situations before, and you with get through this one also.:grouphug:
 
Thanks Trusylver & Wild At Heart for your encouragement & support- I will try to stay hopeful as I'm not a quitter & neither is our YS. I haven't been up to much this week but enjoyed a really nice night out last night & that helped. Our YS's GF is flying to Sydney tomorrow & then home to Canada on Tuesday. Our son will struggle I know & I will try to boost his spirits. I really want this relationship to work out or to at least give it a good try & I hope that they will get a chance when they are in Canada. He will have to find a balance between being patient & persistent. I am soo glad that I have such a happy, loving marriage!

I have stuck to eating very well this week & exercising every day which is good as it helps in every aspect of my life.

Not feeling really up to chatting much but doing ok considering. Lots of love Cate.
 
Still on track with my eating but don't know what I weigh but think I'm about the same. Life has been so topsy turvy & won't get back to any sort of normality until our son goes to Canada. The stress has had me not feeling hungry most of the time. I had no wine over the w/e & drank LOTS of herbal tea. With K gone back to Canada I will feel a little less stress as there is not much he can do for the moment. I think he is hopeful so that's good. We all need hope for a bright future.


It has been too cold & really windy to want to exercise outside so I must hop on my bike each day, even if only for a little while.I have been doing a lot of driving around in the last few days to ensure that they had lots of time to spend together but still catch up & say goodbye to others. I know they both really appreciated it.


Today I must visit both mothers & also take our son to the dentist. I'm feeling fairly tired today but ok. Lots of love, xo Cate
 
Had a really good night's sleep last night & feel much better today. I hopped on the scales & was quite happy (for some weird reason) that they said 80kg. Anything over that, even 80.5, makes me grumpy! Ridiculous I know! I do feel quite happy at 80, but know that having a buffer zone would feel even better. It's a matter of taking the bull by the horns & getting quite obsessive again that will be the only way I drop my weight back down to 75. Meanwhile I'm happy eating really healthily & am feeling in control maintaining. Sometimes I wonder if being vigilant about what I eat all the time seems to suit me & my moods fluctuate much less. If I got to goal weight & it was easy staying there I would lose focus I think. Sounds strange I know. I'm only human & we are strange critters! I will be 75 when we go on our trip next year & also I am going to wear shorts & bathers! 75 it will have to be & less flab on the top of my arms & legs!! OK. It seems like it's time to bring my weights out again. Our son will be leaving his weights behind so I will get some tuition before he leaves for Canada next month! Operation- Build some muscle to hide some 59yr old flab!!


I'm off to Tai Chi today & am not visiting mothers. I might come straight back home & ride my bike this afternoon I think. I'm going around to look after the GK's tonight at our son's home, while my 3 men play 8-ball together. I was looking forward to the night too, but my ex-DIL has an exam tomorrow so our son is having them an extra night. He has been away at the beach with them for 3 nights, staying in a friend of mine's caravan. I think he'll need a night off. I love seeing the GK's anyway & they love me. It's such a sweet love.


Hope all are well. I think of you during the day, while I'm going about my day & it's nice to share our lives with one another, xoxo Cate
 
I looked at myself side on in the mirror this morning & got quite a surprise to see that, although my weight has not shrunk, my derriere has. That's a nice start to the day! I am feeling much slimmer which is great. It is because I am eating so well that I feel much better , & especially, I think, eating virtually gluten-free. It is only the accidental & incidental little bit of gluten that slips through. My stomach is never swollen & uncomfortable any more & my clothes are not tight.I have been wearing more fitted clothes. Come Summer I will be buying some clothes that I can wear in Europe :biggrin: We are planning on travelling with only carry on baggage!! I am determined to do it but must plan very carefully. Imagine not having the stress of wondering if your bag will turn up? What fun I am going to have planning that!!


I am going to open up MFP diary for one week next month as an added incentive to have one week where I eat perfectly & exercise perfectly! In the meantime I am still only eating good, healthy food & exercising most days but next month for that one week in particular I am experimenting. I have decided to eat ONLY what I ate on Cohen's. I will eat bigger portions but there will be NO RICE, WINE, MILK, PASTA...... can't remember really! I'll have to look it up again. I thought I would remember it all as I was so good with it for so long. One week of being 100% strict. No snacks, except for certain fruit & certain wheat-free crackers. I'm going to do it, but only for one week or I'll never hear the end of it from my LH, who thinks that I should not lose another gram! He & I weigh the same but I am 1.5" taller than him. I keep telling him that men are meant to weigh more but he likes me just as I am.


Time for me to get moving. Lots of love, xoxo Cate
 
Had a relaxing day at home with my LH & our YS & then our OS visited at lunch-time & stayed for hours. It was good fun. The men played Snooker & I pottered about. Later my LH & I went for a walk through our bush in the cold air as I felt like my day had been too slothful. (We were going to go & cut wood .) I ate over my calories but only by 50. It was a really nice day. It has been over 5 years now, since I lost 36kg & went from 111kg to 75. I am only 5kg off that now & feel proud that I am never going to be fat ever again. It feels like I'm talking to myself this week, but that's ok. I know someone is reading & everyone's busy. I feel that typing in my diary is a part of my strategy to keep the weight off. Lots of love, xo Cate
 
Another good day yesterday & kept just under my goal. We moved our son's furniture back to our house & will have to do some serious re-arranging but am not stressing out about it at all. None of us know what his future will hold but his stuff will be safe with us if & when he's ready for it down the track. Fingers & toes crossed that he will settle back down in Tassie with the love of his life!

Porridge!!! Kate- I just had porridge for breakfast & it was delicious. I had a Be Natural Almond & Vanilla sachet, with 125ml semi-skim milk- only 225cals!! WOW!! Our YS's GF had left 2 behind so thought I would try one. YUM! I'll see how long it keeps me full. It didn't seem like much to have for breakfast as I am used to eating a big breakfast but I'll test it. This could be a big winner for me!


I feel back on an even keel again & don't feel down. Our son seems to be coping OK with the situation with his GF. I think that he must be hopeful, which is really good.


Time to do some housework......maybe.....lots of love, xoxo Cate
 
We had a meal out last night with our son & some mutual young friends & listened to some live music. I had a big fat juicy steak with vegetables & enjoyed every morsel. It was not a big night & no dancing as there were very few people there. In Winter most people like to hibernate & I think that is my tendency as well. The guys singing we have heard many times but last night they seemed a little disjointed & flat. One of them had obviously drunk too much on the drive up with his brother & a woman who had travelled up with them was quite aggressive towards me. I think she had over-consumed during the day because all I had done to annoy her (as far as I know) was shiver, as it was really cold, even inside the pub. I had been about to put my coat back on when she came up to me & ranted in my ear for ages about complaining. She was quite incoherant & it shocked me a bit. After a one-sided ear-full, I reacted against it & told her where to get off, but then tried turning her around when she looked really shocked by saying I have nothing to complain about & am happy with my life. She had been chatting to my husband earlier & flirting with him but it hadn't worried me in the slightest & I don't feel jealousy any more, which is good. It was hard to avoid her for the rest of the evening, but I managed. I really dislike conflict. She was introduced to me as Buzz, which is what everyone calls her apparently. Our YS didn't know her real name & she didn't give it. He says she's a nice person so I will try to give her the benefit of the doubt.


Our son has got a lift back down to Hobart today with them & is going to do some manual work with the mate he went on a road trip with recently. The physical work will be good for him. There's not much he can do until he hears back from the Canadian Consulate so this will distract him. He does seem very positive so hopefully that means that he has been given some hope by his GF. He is talking already about living back in Tasmania.


I am taking Mum out to lunch today & also visiting my MIL. I can have a gluten-free lunch at our local deli, which is also low calorie & delicious. It is a beautiful sunny day in Tasmania after a cold, frosty night. This to me is a perfect Winter's day!

Lots of love, xoxo Cate.

PS Went over my cals yesterday by about 450!! Small but delicious porridge breakfast had me hungry all day. Pity.
 
Your family really hangs out in the beautiful-and-cool places of the world, Cate -- Tasmania, Canada -- all you need is another son in New Zealand and you've got the trifecta!


The woman in the pub -- well, some people are just plain nasty drunks, despite being (sober) really good and warm people. I hope she learns to handle it before she really makes a bad blunder sometime.


Good for you, really enjoying the meal -- that's what it's all about -- the whole point of the losing weight is to enjoy life more, not less!
 
Hi noparsnips & thanks for visiting my diary. Have you been to Tasmania? Where do you live? I am hopeful that our younger son will convince his girlfriend to commit to a relationship as he is very much in love with her. Then, as a mother who loves her family very much, I hope they move to Tasmania to live. In a perfect world that would happen, but then I am a hopeful person. I would like to visit Canada & may do so while he is there. Who knows? Both our sons have seen a lot of the world. I agree with you that losing weight is to enjoy life more. Hear, hear. I think a lot of people forget that & get bogged down with the negatives. I love feeling healthy & active. Cheers, Cate.


Today- I have spent a really pleasant day with my LH (lovely husband) cutting, gathering & carting wood for our wood heater. We have enough for this Winter & a start on next year's but also provide our older son with wood so like to keep active & productive at the same time. We live on 50 acres & we have lots of Wattle trees encroaching on our view of the mountains so lots have to go. We will never run out of wood! We very rarely fall gum trees as to us they are a part of our view & you can see through & around them. Wattles are another matter. They are like a stealthy army, coming towards us! Apparently they are mutating & becoming resistant to pests & pesticides.


Calories today-

Food so far, including breakfast, lunch & afternoon snack 1036 cals

Exercise so far-

120 mins wood gathering etc =640 cals.

MFP says 1104 cals remaining, if I include the exerc. in the equation. I'll include some. It's Sunday & Sunday is my "treat night" including some chocolate & tonight a small gluten-free brownie.:biggrin: YUM!

Today has been a lovely day!


Cheers all, xoxo Cate
 
Achopping carting wood is excelent exercise :)

unfortunately the biggest pest plant on our property is lantana which can't be chopped for wood :(

when hubby and I moved out of Canberra, I wanted to shift to Tassie but the work was in Queensland, would love to live in your part of the country.
 
AHi mum :)

Sorry for being rubbish.......i am always hanging my head in shame and then saying that i will keep up with diaries but never manage it. So instead, i am going to say that i will TRY and keep up :)

So sorry to hear that you son is going thru such a difficult time and you being the awesome mum that you are are sharing it with him every step of the way. Hoping that everything sorts it self out to make him (and you) happy :)
Well done you on keeping your food and exercise in control thoughout this too. I find that stress makes me comfort eat. My brain tells me that food will make everything ok.

:hurray: :hurray: Loving the smaller bum view......I love it when the view in the mirror makes ya feel smaller. When it doesn't freak me out lol

I am so so sorry that you felt that you were talking to yourself :( I am so so shit :( It won't happen any more. I have been on my 'diet' for nearly a year now too and, ok i do have moments of 'oh shit i am going to fall back and end up like i was before' but i think i know deep down that i will NEVER go there again :)

Oooooooooooooooo porridge!!!!!!!!!!
So glad you enjoyed it, its a shame that it didn't fill you for long. I don't have it with milk, i make it with water, sweetner and blueberries if i have some and you can have more cos you dont have the cals. i find it really filling (most of the time) some days i get hungry but not often.
 
Hello lovely Cate:) Just dropping by your diary, thanks so much for all the kind messages and support on my diary, you are too sweet. Your messages always keep me motivated:):)


You sound like you husband keep very active with the wood, sounds like a nice hobby to have. Its something nice to do together while also burning loads of cals:)


Well done on the good cals today!! YOU ARE ROCKING IT:):)


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
cate>?????i am a terrible friend....i really am/...///.//

So sorry for not coming on here for supporting all you great people...

I am here now trting to get my eating straight.I see you are doing really great!!!!

Looking forward to hearing from you

Sending lots of love:grouphug:
 
Trusylver- Wood cutting is great exercise and I love being outside. I need to find some routine with my exercise again though as I seem to have lost my momentum.


Kate- I will persevere with the porridge as my usual breakfast just isn't mentally satisfying in the cold. I need some Winter warmth & porridge just might do it.I didn't mean to sound like I was having a go at anyone for not being in my diary. I am struggling to type in mine today so understand when others don't. The words just don't come out right when I feel like I do at the moment. I love hearing from you any time sweets & I am sorry I sounded sooky. I hate being sooky!! I love your new photos & you look great. You are a lovely person Kate, with lovely friends, xoxo Cate


Irishprincess- Thanks for being so sweet. Your timing was perfect & I appreciate it. I did have a lovely day with the GK's, although I feel exhausted today. I wish that we could afford to pay for more things for them to relieve the financial burden that our OS has. It's a struggle for him I know. I must try to find some shoes today for our OGS as his sneakers are almost non-existent & that made me feel really sad. I had better get moving soon.


Jess- You are a delightful friend & should never apologise. I know that you have been busy & I would not like you to think that I felt badly about you because I haven't. I worry about you when you are not here but that is the mother in me. I can't help it unfortunately! Nice to have you back sweetie, xoxo Cate


Me- I typed a big post before & accidentally clicked on home & lost it & couldn't retrieve it. It was saying how I feel at the moment & is probably best left in the internet ether.

I'll come back later maybe. I'm feeling anxious & shaky & think I might need some chemical help this time. Nothing in particular has happened to make me feel this way. It sucks. I wonder sometimes if I am a goose for thinking that I can get myself out of it on my own or whether it would be the wise choice to try medication & persevere until I find the right one for me. It is a constant battle. I could wake up tomorrow feeling back on top of the world, but I doubt it. I just got a message from the women's golf captain, saying "Look forward c ing u ladies at golf 2morrow. Hopefully weather will be kind 2 us..mary." & I started shaking. I'm bloody petrified!


Time to move xoxo Cate
 
I am so sorry to hear this! It's a rotten, rotten feeling to be anxious and shaky -- by now I expect you are out on the golf course. I hope the fresh air, and the having to hold together in the team situation has helped.
 
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