Cate's Diary

The leech bite is now infected. I went to Tai Chi, had lunch but then went to the doctors & when I showed them my arm they slipped me straight in. I now have an antibiotic cream & tablets. My arm is hot, swollen badly & looking fairly nasty. Ugh- leeches!
Feeling ok today. Not great, not bad but ok.
Love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Yikes! That sounds horrible. Take care of yourself, Cate. I hope you feel much better very soon.

I love hearing how active you are. It gives me hope that I'll have energy again!
 
Struggling today, with good reason. I'm away for a couple of days & will catch up Monday xo Cate
 
I will be around & I'm ok but something personal is happening at the moment & I'm not ready to share it yet. I won't resort to bad eating for "comfort" & I got some strong Multi B on Saturday & that will help. I'll take extra care of my health as I will need to be strong for my family. Lots of love to you all, xoxo Cate
 
Hello. I obviously don't know what's going on, but I'm thinking of you and praying that you come through it okay. Sending hugs and good thoughts across the miles...
 
Ah, Cate, I'm thinking of you and everyone around you, hoping and wishing that everything is okay, my dear. Sending you lots of love. xxx
 
Hi Misty & decisionmaker- and thank you for your support & for caring. I'll be ok but it is really important that I be strong & level-headed & as calm as I possibly can. I'm taking even more care with my diet. The only thing I am having to make sure of is actually eating, rather than over-eating.

The next few months will be a little difficult & I have to be able to help out whenever I can so must be strong. I can do it.
My house looks like it has tumbleweeds in it so really must go do the vacuuming.
Bye for now & love to all, xoxo Cate
 
Hi folks. The fog is thick here so I'm really croaky. Fog affects my asthma badly. It's Tai Chi day :D so that will be a great mood lifter. I'm feeling ok. A bit of sunshine would do wonders though. I did lots of housework yesterday & the place looks much tidier.

Just briefly-
Our older son & his wife have separated. The grand-kids will share their time with both. It's sad, it's amicable & there is no-one else involved. I think it was inevitable. I also think they gave it their best shot. They have been trying to stick together & make it work. They have had lots of relationship counselling but they both know that they don't love one another enough to stay together in a marriage.
I think that they are being very brave. I hope, with all my heart, that it works out well in the end.

I posted a huge post with a lot more detail but deleted it. This is my diary & their marriage is their story.

I will be there for them when they need me & have reassured my DIL that she has my love & support & to call on me if she needs me. She is the mother of my grand-kids :beating:

I hope that both our sons & my DIL find a love like we have one day. I wish it for everyone. I had better go as I'm feeling teary & don't want to go to Tai Chi bawling! It is sad & it's natural for me to feel sad about it I know.
I will worry about my DIL but our son will still be very supportive I know.
Bye for now & love to all, xoxo Cate
 
I just managed to write something positive in "My diary of good things". I wrote about their marriage break-down but that I think it is brave & the right thing to do. I said that "We are still family & nothing will take that away." I feel that there is lots of love between us all to get through this.
 
I had a cooking day planned & am trying to get inspired. Trouble is, I don't much like cooking. My husband doesn't have a day at home until Monday the 13th so I felt like I should get some casseroles made. Cooking veggies isn't a problem for me. They're simple. I'll try to gain some inspiration from the cook books. Hmmm.

Doing well with food & only weighing about once a fortnight. Haven't snacked on anything for days (a week?)

Nothing much to say today so will go seek cooking inspiration. xoxo Cate
 
My day changed for the better. Our OS & DIL had an ap't for relationship counselling & decided they would still go to help with their amicable separation. He just messaged me to say it was good & they are going to continue with every fortnight. They are having lunch together now. I have had our YGS for the last couple of hours which has been a real treat for me :beating: Apparently he was very excited about coming to see me. Sweet!

I have a Sri Lankan curry cooking away on the wood heater. It smells delicious. I used to like cooking curries. I may have to get back into it a bit & get some things in the freezer for Winter. It will be handy for quick meals for us & maybe also for our son.
Anyhow my day is so much brighter. It is also the night our OGS stays. He's still very keen to do so. :D

Much love to all, xoxo Cate
 
I am having lots of trouble accepting the reality of their break-up. There has been a major upset( DIL over-dosed night before last) & I am only just coping with it all.
I took our OGS to soccer today & dropped him off at his new home & it made me feel nauseous. I stayed for 10 minutes or so & had to leave. I only just got home before I howled. It is very depressing. It feels unreal. I am what I think is a fairly well-balanced person & hope that I am open-minded & tolerant & loving but I will feel much better when this all settles down. I have not told my mother, MIL...... I just can't find the strength just yet. My husband has not been home during the day & won't be for ages- not until Monday week. It is really hard coping with this on your own every day. It's hard not to imagine how all of our lives would have changed if our DIL had killed herself, if that is what she intended. I am so thankful that she didn't. It changes so many people's lives forever.
I will need to muster as much strength as I possibly can. I hope that I'm up to it. I think I am but hope the next month or so is a bit easier.
Lots of love to you all, xoxo Cate
 

"Every time we start thinking we're the center of the universe, the universe turns around and says with a slightly distracted air, "I'm sorry. What'd you say your name was again?" ~Margaret Maron

 
Thank you Trusylver & Niyah. I really need all the support I can get at the moment. It sure does help as I'm not telling anyone else. I was trying to get the courage to tell my MIL today when my phone rang & it was my older brother ringing to tell me that our Mum is in hospital with a fractured vertebrae. My brother just expects our younger sister to drop everything & go up there. He also said for me to ring & tell her. It is obviously inconvenient for him. My MIL showed no compassion or empathy & as usual turned it all around to be all about her. That woman's ego knows no bounds. I don't think I'll be telling her anything much.
I just spoke to my Mum & she sounds awful & apparently feels as awful as she sounds. The whole bloody universe is out of alignment if you ask me! My sister is not well at the moment either. I'm waiting to get a call back from my Mum's doctor but it's getting late now & I probably won't hear today. I so wish that she lived nearby. I may go back to plan B- moving her to Tassie. My brother isn't much support for her & I'm just too far away. It makes me feel sick. Actually the last week I have felt really sick with nerves. I really don't want to take medication but am looking forward to things feeling brighter. I'm trying hard to be strong. Not succeeding, but really trying!
Love to all & thanks again for showing your support, xoxo Cate

 
Ah, Cate, my dear. I can't believe all of this is happening at once - such a tough time for you all. I can't imagine what it would be like to have someone in your family (blood or not) overdose. It's so tragic that anyone would ever feel this way.

Sending you lots of strength, lovely. To you and your whole family. xx
 
Thanks DM. I'm feeling a bit better today for some reason. It's hard to get my head around everything really. I honestly don't know if my DIL intended killing herself. I haven't had a chance to have a proper talk with our son since. I'll contact him today & see if he's on his own tonight & have him up for a meal. I have cooked a huge pot of Pho Bo & have a bowl ready for him as well. he can just pick it up if he doesn't want to stay for dinner.
My mum has taken my mind off the split a bit. My older brother's wife had her baby last night & they are going down to see their 1st grand-child- a girl. That is why he expected our sister to go up there. They will be back before mum gets out of hospital anyway.
Mum's doctor rang me back last night at 6.15 & said that she would be keeping mum in hospital for a week & then will assess whether she should go into respite for a few weeks. It will depend on demand & priorities but she is very reassuring. She is very happy for me to call her again & mentioned that mum had considered coming over to Tassie. She actually said she thought it would be a good idea. I like her, although I haven't met her in person. This is the 3rd phone conversation I have had with her. It's so funny that I feel like I know her.

I'm still in my PJ's & feeling very lazy. I have had an upset stomach for a week & was putting it down to nerves but it just dawned on me when I rushed to the loo that it will be the antibiotics that I have been taking since the leech bite. I'm glad today is the last day of them.
I think it's time to go have a shower to brighten myself up & get into some seriously warm Winter clothes.
Love to all, xoxo Cate
PS I must ring our YS. I have been avoiding him because I just didn't want to hear him talking about wanting to buy into a bar when I felt like my world was falling apart. It's not fair to him. I don't even know if he still wants to. He was meant to ring back & talk to his dad but hasn't. I'll ring him this afternoon. I really wish we had the money to lend him & also the money to lend our OS to pay his wife her share of the house. we don't so there's nothing we can do to help them out financially. I may suggest that our YS rings his grand-mother himself & asks her. For all I know it may not even be an issue.
OK- boring myself here, thinking out loud.
Bye!
 
cate said:
I am having lots of trouble accepting the reality of their break-up. There has been a major upset( DIL over-dosed night before last) & I am only just coping with it all.
I took our OGS to soccer today & dropped him off at his new home & it made me feel nauseous. I stayed for 10 minutes or so & had to leave. I only just got home before I howled. It is very depressing. It feels unreal. I am what I think is a fairly well-balanced person & hope that I am open-minded & tolerant & loving but I will feel much better when this all settles down. I have not told my mother, MIL...... I just can't find the strength just yet. My husband has not been home during the day & won't be for ages- not until Monday week. It is really hard coping with this on your own every day. It's hard not to imagine how all of our lives would have changed if our DIL had killed herself, if that is what she intended. I am so thankful that she didn't. It changes so many people's lives forever.
I will need to muster as much strength as I possibly can. I hope that I'm up to it. I think I am but hope the next month or so is a bit easier.
Lots of love to you all, xoxo Cate
Click to expand...

Hi Cate, just letting you know I am thinking of you.

AnnaG
 
AnnaG, that is so sweet of you to think of me. I had been feeling a little sorry for myself but am now feeling really supported by my forum friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have 2 of my 3 grand-kids with me right now while their parents have an appointment re income support. I feel more in balance today thank goodness.
Better go. Lots of love Cate
 
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