Cate's Diary

:cry: Boo Hoo.....:eek:
Silly old me. I have put my YS on the bus back to Hobart & I feel a little bit flat. Funny about that! I really enjoyed his stay. It was just lovely. I need to see him more often. It's a pity that his house is not a little more parent-friendly so we could go down to see him more often & help him with his garden, take him shopping etc. It's good that I can give him some emotional support & I hope it's enough. I am really looking forward to him finding someone to love & to love him as I think it will really help him with his self-esteem & general happiness. I am so lucky!
I don't think I made good food choices yesterday. I didn't feel like cooking & just picked at things. I feel quite under the weather today. I felt so good on Cohen's & it obviously suited me.
My GS wanted boiled eggs with soldiers this morning & I had the same as I woke up hungry. I thought it wouldn't hurt once just to test the theory about Carb's at breakfast setting you up for hunger for the day. Surprise, surprise, they are right! I haven't stopped thinking about eating since. I'm resisting though & drinking lots of water. I need to do some cooking, especially some individual Cohen's soups, like chicken & vegetable, or beef & vegetable, but without weighing obviously. That way I can do what I always did & just take out my next day's meals the night before. It takes temptation away.
I'll come back later today. I am off to do some cooking! Not feeling sad really. I just need to do something to fill the gap now he's gone. Cheers, Cate
 
Yesterday- I decided to snap out of it, threw on the work gear & joined my LH, burning off some scrub in preparation for Summer. We toiled for a few hours & it was fun & a great distraction. We then had a nice dinner which he cooked, Cohen's style with a bottle of white wine (no allergic reaction but I didn't have much) followed by fresh fruit salad.
Then I fell asleep in my chair. It was a fairy physical afternoon.
Today- We both had our hair cut first thing & then I had an appointment for counselling afterwards. We both agreed that my file can be closed but the door will always be open if I require it again in the future. The counsellor is absolutely delightful! I talked to her about how my son's visit had been & how I hadn't tried to solve all of his problems & am stepping back a little all the time & protecting myself. I do feel that I am learning valuable skills. I also told her that I am ready to get a part-time job. We both agreed that I am a people person but must protect myself against a job that would drag me down. It's good to recognise your limitations or to be aware of your own personality. I know that I have the inclination to take on every-ones problems & try to solve them. It's all about having a balance in your life. I know, now that I need to do things that will not hurt me.
I spoke to her about wanting a job so that I have a little independence & don't feel guilty shopping for clothes & she thought that was a normal response & one that she feels herself. I think counselling can be a re-inforcement of your own feelings & beliefs. She told me it had been an absolute delight seeing me which was lovely & also said that I had helped myself & that she didn't have to do much. I do think she helped me find my confidence again which was very important.
I wore my new jeans today & boy do they feel good. I can tell my husband is a little bit tentative about how I look. I will have to keep reassuring him. I only want his personal & loving attention. It is nice to get quiet compliments but not nice to get noisy ones. Today I got the latter as well, but I will put that one down to shock. As we were walking out of a store, the man we were talking to obviously just noticed my weight-loss for the first time. I hadn't seen him for a long time. He & his wife used to come into our pub for meals regularly.I know that it is very noticable as I have lost 1/3 of my body. I told the counsellor that I still don't like the noisy attention I get & she asked me if I can take compliments better now & I said that I can. I do feel more comfortable in my skin but it does take a lot of getting used to. I don't want to go back to the hiding behind the fat again so it's best I get used to being slim.
OK- I'm off to get into the work gear again. My LH has headed off in the ute & I will follow the smoke to find him. We only ever cut trees that have died & over half of our land is bush which we leave alone totally. It is an animal haven. Be back tonight probably, cheers, Cate.
Weight 70kg's this morning. Cut the carb's down today & tomorrow & 1kg will disappear.
 
Feeling really good still. I have spoken to my husband about looking for work. I also asked him if he minds me not working. It's really hard to tell sometimes what he thinks as he keeps his thoughts to himself mostly. I imagine him thinking that I am spending the money he earns. I really don't think he thinks that way at all. He just wants me to do what I want to do which is really nice. He also doesn't think me working any more than 2 days a week is a good idea. That is all I want. I just want to feel that I am earning an income so that I can buy clothes without the guilt. I know I shouldn't feel that way but I have always earned an income.
We had a beautiful dinner tonight. My husband cooks what he calls fiery fish & we had it without any rice or Carb's & had lots of delicious vegies. I just love it. After lunch & dinner I have fresh fruit, usually an orange & a kiwi fruit.
I feel really happy & contented at the moment. On Tuesday night I got a phone call inviting us to a night at a soon to be open bar in our local town. An old run-down pub has sold & is being turned into a relaxed, no "riff-raff" bar, with nice decor & a baby grand piano. I am really looking forward to going & am quite excited at the prospect. My LH, on the other hand, does not share my enthusiasm for some reason. I think he has enough of a social life that he does not need anything more. I might put out feelers for a part-time job. We are going along on Saturday night from 7-10pm. I hope he doesn't try to get out of it.
I just read a book called the Kite Runner. Has any-one read it. It's an excellent book but is quite disturbing. I do recommend it. I keep thinking of scenes in the book & this does not happen often.
I might pop back later. I am staying in my diary for the moment as it seems very few people are typing in the forum. Bye, Cate.
 
Well the look of the forum has changed considerably. The inaction hasn't though. I'm not sure what is happening in the forum lately. Is every-one just reading & not typing. I don't want to give this up as I usually enjoy it very much. It has been my life-line for the last few months. It just feels like I'm gibbering on to myself.
I had a lovely phone call from a friend in Melbourne last night. She was the one that we met at Melbourne Zoo when we took our grandson over for the day a few months ago. She rang to tell us that they are coming over to Tassie to visit us in February for a couple of weeks. They are our age & have an 8yr old daughter. Her husband used to work with mine in a wine store in Prahran 30 years ago & we have maintained the friendship with an occasional phone call. Whenever I have phoned they seem surprised but thrilled. I always think good friends should be cherished.
I told her that we will be over in Melb. in October, staying near them in Preston. They live in Northcote. She asked us to stay with them but I insisted we stay in the hotel we are booked in. I guessed that they would not have had a spare room & indeed she said her daughter would happily give up her room for us. It was very sweet of her to offer. We will catch up with them & visit their home.
She was very emotional last night, telling me that she loved us both & had been thinking about us almost daily since they saw us last. We had a really good talk. I come from an un-emotional family (mother anyway) & can be a little over-whelmed with strong emotions but I think I understood & appreciated what she was saying. I don't think enough of us say what we really feel about one another. There is so much violence & anger in the world & a little more love & compassion wouldn't go astray. We talked about politics, pulp mills, family, nature......What I really love about old & true friends is that you can say exactly what you want & express yourself. You don't have to be as wary. A lot of water has gone under the bridge. We used to argue half the night about anything & everything. It was actually lots of fun!
Her husband is one of the nicest men I have ever met. I can honestly say he is as nice a person as my husband. He is also a really good person. He is from Ceylon originally. As he says it was not Sri Lanka when he lived there & if Australia was re-named "Bananaland" would we be "Bananalandians" or Australians. Good point. He's lovely & so is she. Their daughter is sweet & shy & seems very smart. They are coming over for 2 weeks in Feb. That will be fun.
The sun is peeking through the clouds. I had better put my hiking boots on & get outside quickly. Cheers for now, Cate.
Weight this morning 69.5kg.
 
I really don't like what has happened to the forum today. "If it ain't broke don't fix it!"
Hopefully it's only a temporary hiccup. Anyhow I am heartily sick of talking to myself, 'night Cate.
 
Hi cate,

Thank you for the birthday wishes and thanks for remembering. Very funny re: talking to yourself, you are so right, where is everybdy, so many people read your diary, obviously you inspire them, I just think how rude not to pop in and say hello or thank you!
I sent you an email re: my thoughts on this (yes I have more..hehe)..think about it :doh:

You are going great guns with life after Cohens, good for you!

Chat soon
TTFN
Annie Lusion
 
Hellllooooo Cate!
I couldnt get on the site all day yesterday... til late last night, and then I just had enough time to read a few things before hitting the sack. It was very hard using the forum last night... but I am sure glad that it is back to normal today!!

I agree this forum has been Really quiet over the last few weeks...I wonder if it is because everyone is over at Newyou... cos that is just full on... there are so many newbies there it is Really hard to keep up with them all and all their questions and diaries (and thats just reading them!!!)

It sounds like things are going really well for you! I bet you will be able to find the Right Job in no time! You are in the right frame of mind for it! I wish you every success. It is good to feel like you are contributing, not only to your household but also as an individual... as your life has a bit of purpose. It also sounds like you have really come to understand your body and nutrition and the role that food has in your life... (to sustain you, rather than consume you) and I really look forward to getting to the end and emulating your example.

Ok... well I had better get on and do some housework... yaaay! not!
Blessya
Kath
 
Hi Cate,

You are right this forum has been way quiet of late. I wonder if people have given up on their programs when they don't post. Also, I notice that you tend to write more about your day and what you're up to and most others (including myself) post more about our triumphs and travails on the program. For me it's mostly a matter of time, and i guess some about my sense of privacy. I worry some about the amount of information about any one of us that is available to anyone and everyone at anytime. I do enjoy reading your posts and sometimes feel a little stingy that I don't post a "good read" as you do.

I have found since I started this program 4 weeks ago that my hair is falling out and thinning. I'm wondering if you had that experience. I have started taking 1.5g of fish oil everyday. I hope it doesn't affect my program but I won't enjoy being thin if I'm bald in 4 months! And it just can't be doing good things for other parts of my body if it's affecting my hair this way to have such little fat. I'm wondering if this happend to you or if you know anything from having been "around" for awhile?

Thank you for all your posts and I'm sorry it's been so lonely on the boards!

Merci
 
Hi Cate,

I found it was getting really quiet here as well I have been checking in when I can I have had a lot of travel but I have also been moonlighting between here and New You, and last night i couldn't get into here and things look different which has confused me a little.

Good to hear you are still on track, you should start a thread in New You too I am sure many people there will have a lot to learn and ask you with all your experience.
 
Annie- Hi! I have replied to you personally, by email. You may be right I think. I'll give it some thought, xo, Cate
Kath- Yesterday was very frustrating & the forum has been very quiet for a while. Life does have a purpose & it's good to know you can make a difference, albeit however small. It is nice to feel that I am in a good space & I am really enjoying my life. Thanks for the visit, xo Cate
Merci- I have heard of others losing hair but have not experienced it myself thank goodness. I have taken a 1000mg capsule of Omega 3 for years. It is recommended by our consultant's along with a good slow-release multi-vitamin. I also take "Equisetum 2000" which is horsetail (or organic silica). I take it because I have calcium spurs under my feet, but on the packet it says it's for hair & nails. Either or both may help.
My diary changed as I went along. I don't want to talk constantly about the program or mostly about food. I find it is helping me personally learning to share my thoughts & my life with others. I am not as frightened as I used to be. I don't tell it all of course but it has been quite liberating. I sometimes wonder what I used to worry about. Here in Tasmania you become fairly well known anyway. It's a small place. Thanks for visiting my diary & posting. It's always been a major part of my enjoyment of it when others contribute. Cheers, Cate.
PS I have had 3 trips to the US & loved it, especially the hospitality & New York City(WOW!)- I ate at Po's in Greenwich Village with my brother-in-law& met the owner & have a photo of him & his head waiter. Apparently he is a well-known celebrity chef. I could hardly keep from walking around with my mouth wide open in awe of NY. My BIL drove me up from Baltimore, drove me all over & around the city, pointing out the landmarks, took me for lunch at Po's & then drove me all the way back to Baltimore that night. It was about 7hrs of driving. He was an absolute darling.
Suzie :flame:- I accidentally started typing on the page before your post & can't read it & I have a memory like a sieve. I may move my diary over & have thought about it before. I find this forum quicker because there's less activity(or typing anyway!) Thanks for the visit & the post, cheers, Cate. I might post again later after re-reading yours!
My day- Weight 69kg.
Went shopping this morning & visited some Cohen's buddies which was lovely. Both are doing very well, feeling positive & looking good.
Also bumped into a lovely woman who had heard about my weight-loss & was very sweet. Her husband's cancer is back but they are being very positive. She is much younger & has small children. I hope he will be ok. I had rung a mutual friend yesterday for her birthday & she had then spoken to this woman. Tassie is such a small place & co-incidences are common. I decided recently that if you are wondering how some-one is you should just ring & ask & make an effort. I think this is more important than almost anything. Friendships, compassion & caring take effort mainly. Effort that is well worth it.
This afternoon one of my sisters-in-law visited me with a fellow who has brain injury caused from a car accident. She & her husband are employed as carers & often take them for drives in the country. This same chap we met on Anzac day in Deloraine. He seems very nice & is quite cheeky. I love my SIL. You know where you stand with her & she is a fiery, live-wire. We get on very well. She has been very supportive of my weight-loss also & very encouraging. She loved my new top & the jeans I had on today.
We are meant to be going out tonight & my LH does not want to go. I have wanted to all week & was thrilled to be asked but I must admit I am starting to feel very settled & cosy. We were invited to an introductory night for a re-furbished bar in our local town. They are aiming at a different bar crowd & trying to get away from a rough image. The pub was fairly run-down & in need of a big re-vamp. They are going to have a baby grand piano, have spent quite a bit of money on decor, including a blackwood bar & we should go... I was thinking a part-time job there might be fun....
I have told my husband now that we don't have to go & now there is no way I will get him there. Oh well. I'll just kick back, relax & maybe have a glass of wine at home. Cheers Cate.
 
Merci- I did a bit of home-work re the hair-loss situation & found some information for you. Apparently this is not uncommon but may be due to a zinc deficiency, which may be remedied by taking a hair, skin & nails formula. There is a Blackmore's formula that may do the trick. I have found they make your hair much healthier & shiny & also your nails will be stronger. It's also ok with our Cohen's consultants.
Today is cold & windy. We are going to the movies as we have 7 movie passes that we need to use before March & we haven't been to the movies for so long we can't remember. I took the boys occasionally when they were young but my husband cannot remember the last time he went. We think it may have been to "Dances with Wolves" at least 15 years ago!
I feel like I had better do something constructive this week. I am turning into a lazy bones! I keep saying what I am going to do but do nothing much. Mmm. Ebay selling, Wacky Walkers, Tai Chi, writing, getting a part-time job..........
We didn't go out last night but really should have. I always feel if people go to the trouble of inviting you somewhere then you should go to the trouble of going. My LH was so relieved not to have to go. He had played golf all day & was happy to put his feet up & watch sport on tv. We didn't have any wine though. I finished a book instead. I am a book demolisher. I read way too fast & probably don't absorb enough.
While I don't seem to have a lot of direction at the moment I must say that I am enjoying just drifting along. It's so unusual for me not to have everything planned. I occasionally get the guilts & feel I should take myself in hand.
It has been suggested to me to move my diary over to the New You forum but there are so many threads & diaries over there I wouldn't get anything done. At least here it only takes a short time to read the new posts, other than mine! I might start weaning myself off posting soon. It might be classified as an addiction.
OK. It's 10.45 on Sunday morning & here the 2 of us are, sitting in our chairs, reading (or typing), in our dressing gowns! I had better go have a shower & get dressed. My LH is going to make a beef curry & some dendeng, which is a delicious Indonesian dried beef snack. I love it! He is cooking it so I can have a protein snack handy that I love. He doesn't mind me putting in requests for my favourite things. He is such a sweety! He is happiest when he is cooking for people that appreciate it! That would be me.. He was at a bit of a loss when he wasn't able to cook his special dishes for me. I just asked him if Dendeng is Indonesian & he jumped up & is in the kitchen already. He just put on a Paul Kelly CD so I will head. I can ignore tv easily but music makes me want to move! Good! I'm off, bye, Cate.
 
Cate I had just had an idea u know how you are looking for qork or thinking about it why don't you look into being a consultant for cohens or maybe look into what you need to do to open a clinic I think you would be perfect for the job you take so much time and effort to answer peoples questions and give such good advice and you have so much knowledge about the nutrition, vitamins etc... i think it would suit you very well maybe you could look into that !!
 
Suzie :flame:- Sweetie, I appreciate your confidence in me but I don't think I am knowledgeable enough.
I just like helping when I can. I have my thinking cap on though. My mind is getting well & truly back in gear. I don't want to get lazy though so will have to get on the move! I knew what you meant by qork but you really made me laugh! :rotflmao: xo Cate
We went to see "The Bourne Ultimatum" at CMAX in Devonport. Wow! I forgot to breathe often. It was very thrilling. We will have to go to the movies more often.
I don't think I have ever been more aware of my body. It's a really odd feeling. Everything I do I am aware of myself(my body really) more than I ever have been before. I love this feeling of being slim. It is absolutely bloody wonderful! I must never get even slightly chubby ever again. I feel more alive.
I will achieve something very positive tomorrow & will come in tomorrow night & tell you about it. Cheers, Cate.
 
Hi Cate, you have done so well. I remember that feeling of being skinny and it is great. You are helping me to get motivated to get back to being skinny again. Thanks. Take care.

Beck
 
Hi Cate,

That was so thoughtful of you to check into the hair loss problem for me. That makes sense that I could be calcium deficient with so little meat. I did start takinga hair, skin, and nails supp today as a matter of fact and I'll have to check and see if it contains zinc. Where did you find that info?

I agree with Suzie that you'd make a great consltant if you wanted to. I'm sure they put you through their own training anyway. And who better to consult than someone who had successfully graduated their program? ANd, you like helping people!

Merci
 
Beck- Hi! Feeling slim is a feeling I want to hang onto & never let it go. I don't think I have ever felt this way. As a teenager I was very fit, but like most teenagers never happy with my body. Now I can look at myself & say that I am happy with it. It's not perfect but I am very happy. Now to make sure I don't stuff it up! Thank you for your nice words. You take care too, xo Cate.
Merci- The hair, skin & nails formula has helped me for years in more ways than one. I have noticed a real improvement in the health of my hair since taking it. Although my hair is silver it shines. I had also read in a post somewhere in the last six months about zinc helping with hair loss but can't remember where I'm sorry. It might even have been on New You as I sometimes have a look about there. Thank you for your encouragement regarding work. I'm not so sure but it's nice of you & Suzie to be so positive about my possible capabilities, xo Cate.
Today-I rang an employment agency!!
I at last got the courage to do something about getting a job & rang a local enterprise centre. I now need to up-date my CV & take it in to them. I knew the woman who answered the phone & she will let me know if something comes in, in the meantime, if she thinks it may suit me. At least I have made a start. I felt I had to do something soon & this is a step in the right direction. I also had a good look at ebay & read a lot of the selling tips. I will have to have a go. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Weight 69kg. Although I am at goal weight still I was not comfortable when I went to bed last night as I think I ate too much sweet stuff including sweeter fruit so today I ate much plainer, mostly Cohen's original food & feel much better tonight. I also made sure I drank a lot more water. I have had a pain in my lower right area all day, like a stitch. (Right ovary?) I'll see if it hangs about & if it does book in to see the doc. I have had this pain before. I had a hysterectomy 13 years ago but still have my ovaries.
"Australian Story" is on now & it looks interesting, as usual, so will scoot, cheers, Cate.
 
Hi Cate,

Congratualtions on taking the step of calling about work!!! You'll be on your way in no time now I bet. I hear that you don't feel confident that you could be a good consultant but I have no doubt. Us Americans get the email version and believe me, you could massively improve on that. It's quite different from what you all get in person, IT's very impersonal and mostly they just repeat the manual,

That pain on your right side---there's the ileocecal valve which is a bit to the right of where an ovay would be. It's the valve between small and large intestine. Sometimes it gets stuck in one position and can be painful. If that's it, you can relieve it by finding the spot and sticking a couple knuckes in and rotation (like you're unscrewing something) counter clockwise. I get that pain sometimes after eating popcorn (pre-Cohen of course) or something that wwas just hard for my body to digest for some reason. If that's it, this might help.

I have found my hair problem is reversing with the additon of 2-4 fish oil capsules. But I'm still goingto add the hair, skin and nails formula. We don't have Blackmore inthe states but I'm sure I can find an equivalent. I would love to have shining hair!!

Have a good one.

Merci
 
Woohoo Cate!
GOODONYA for taking the first step! Now its only a matter of time!
Its SO great Cate that you still come on and keep us updated not only on your life but your daily walk with food and weight. It really does help to understand the process of After Refeed. It helps also because we are constantly reminded that someone else has done and therefore, so can we! So THANKS!

Hope that life in general continues to improve for you....YOU DESERVE IT!

Bless ya
Kath
 
Hello Cate,
Sorry... I haven't been around much but with the end of the summer and getting everyone ready for school, and unpacking from vacations...Yikes...I am so glad they are going back in two days!!!! I have to plan for all my fall cleaning and reorganizing but it will be much easier once everyone is back at school. My husband is still in a boot cast and will be out of work for three more weeks (he is going stir crazy...me too) he will be starting physical therapy this week.
I have been snacking a little to much and need to be very aware of old habits. Sometimes it's just easier to grab a quick treat than put together something healthy. I think with the fall routine starting with school, homework, good dinners... that should help stay focused. I am very happy to have lost the weight and I will fight old habits that can so easily slip you up.
You are doing well and I am glad to hear you are ready to get back to work. It's nice to be out and socializing while getting paycheck, any employer will be lucky to have you.
Once school starts I am hoping to be back in daily. Talk soon.
 
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