Cate's Diary

Weight 69.5kg.
I just typed about 6 paragraphs of bitching:)boxing:) & moaning:)cry:) & then deleted it. I will spare you all! :)sleeping:)
I think I will go & read some of "The Essence of Happiness" & try to take some inspiration & hope from the Dalai Lama. Tomorrow is another day, Cate.
 
Hi Cate

Sorry to hear you day is not going too great!

I hope you manage some 'ME' time to regroup your thoughts!

On yesterday's post - how frustrating for you. We gutted and renovated our home last year and I can appreciate how upset the delay has made you. I hope everything gets finished for you soon.

I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Keep your chin up.

Lauren x
 
Thank you Lauren. When you are feeling a bit down a few kind, well-meant words count for a lot! My sweet husband coached me through the call I needed to make tonight to the builder but I have felt reasonably relaxed & not as stressed & just couldn't face it. Hopefully he can call him in the morning before the builder starts work. He is not as stressed about it as me.
I did make the call about the wacky walkers!!
I rang again this afternoon after going to the beyondblue web site & reading an article about exercise helping fight depression. I know I need to get out & socialise & what better way than bush-walking with others. Once again the woman I spoke to remembered me from a meeting in a park with my kids when they were small. Amazing! I think she had heard that I was interested. Their next walk (Mother Cummings peak) is probably their hardest of the year. I think I will do it though. I have heard it's lovely. She was very encouraging & friendly. I will now pack & re-pack & plan what I will have in my back-pack & what I will wear! I don't have a really light-weight raincoat but have everything else I need I think. I will try to find a recipe for Biltong. If I can't my husband cooks a delicious Chinese red-cooked beef and Dendeng which are similar. In our pub we used to sell Territory Jerky which was absolutely delicious & light as a feather. I got so excited about it after making the call. I'm so glad I got the courage at last.
So I did take some ME time-made the call & propped in my chair & read half a book (fiction, not Dalai Lama), cooked myself a healthy chicken stir-fry, followed by fresh fruit salad & yoghurt & am feeling much better about almost everything.
Hopefully we'll get this job done in the next few days & can then forget about it.
I will go for a wander around the diaries. I'm glad someone is active, 'night, Cate.
 
Weight 69.5kg
Today is another day in lots of ways! It started with my LH ringing the builder, cheerily, at 8am. We still have no idea when he will finish the job or how much extra it will cost in labour but at least I didn't have to make the call & didn't get stressed out!
My SIL visited which is always a treat as I love her. Not long after she had arrived she spotted a brown car out of the corner of her eye that then disappeared! I quickly sussed that it would be my DIL. I thought she probably took one look in our driveway, saw 3 cars & decided it wasn't a good time to visit. I rang her quickly on her mobile to let her know that my visitor was my SIL, who she really likes & the other 2 cars are ours. She then turned around & came back & we had a lovely time with our GD who then got to see her great aunt (not just an aunt, a great aunt!)
My SIL left at 12 as she had to visit my MIL for lunch. We offered lunch to our DIL & the 2 of them stayed for lunch. She was embarrassed about arriving for a visit at lunch-time but I reminded her that I did exactly the same at the week-end at their place.
I have felt good since. I woke up feeling much better this morning but having my lovely visitors helped as well! I haven't eaten much today though( we shared our lunch for 2 between 3 &1/3) & am feeling very peckish. I had yoghurt with stewed apple for breakfast(nearly always have this), stir-fry chicken & veg for lunch, without rice or any other carb's, followed by fresh fruit salad & yoghurt. About an hour after lunch I had 4 crackers with a delicious feta cheese dip but my stomach is rumbling.
I have a huge pot of Pho Bo on the wood fire simmering away & I think it may be the smell of it making me even hungrier. It won't be ready until tomorrow night though. I have a chicken breast out for my dinner. I might quickly go cook a chicken soup for dinner as I haven't eaten chicken soup for about 2 weeks & I miss it. I have tried cooking new things because I can but I have always loved chicken soup. Until I go shopping I'm a bit limited with my fresh ingredients for both the Pho Bo & for anthing else. I am really looking forward to getting these sleepers put together so I can go mad with my vegie garden. I will get there......
I find that I have to really concentrate on being very positive or I slip back again & lose some of my confidence. It really is your attitude that matters. A positive approach to life is very important as it helps you cope when bad things come along. I really draw a lot from the Dalai Lama's writings. I only have to read a little of his book & I change the way I look at things.
This afternoon I got a call from a lovely lady to thank me for dropping one of the Cohen's leaflets in her letterbox. She had asked me for a copy for her daughter, after catching up with me shopping the other day. She was one of my favourite customers in the pub. Her & her husband used to come for meals once a week. They are both much older than us & have had very influential positions & come from a different background but we always got on very well.
She is delightful! She would like her husband to go on Cohen's as his health is not good but knows that he wouldn't because he would not give up his wine and whisky to do so. I made a few suggestions based on the maintenance guidelines, that I think might help him, particularly the having protein 30mins before alcohol & having dessert within one hour of dinner. He is diabetic & has put on a lot of weight recently. It was lovely talking to her. She is such a very positive person & has encouraged me to have more self-confidence. Her praise means a lot to me.
Ok. I cannot ignore my gnawing stomach any longer. I'll be back later I think as my LH is working until 11pm & I like to wait up for him, preferably awake. Hope there is some action in here! I have been glancing at 2 other forums- a bush-walking forum & a bird-watchers forum. I got a lot of info from the bush walkers one( very quiet) but don't think I'll get involved. The bird watchers one is enthusiastic but I don't think I want to become a serious twitcher! Instead of sitting on my derriere typing I need to get active, get out & about & enjoy life! :jump: Cheers, Cate. :D
 
I couldn't wait for soup so quickly whipped up an omelette which was more like a frittata with broccolli, cauli & carrot that I had blanched at lunch-time plus fresh coriander, parsley & spinach from my mini garden & a little cheese. Delicious! I also then had some biscuits & cheese as I was still hungry an hour later.
Then I followed that with one glass of red wine, also delicious.
Now I'm drinking lots of water.
The above should be deemed as normal eating for most people but I still feel really nervous about it. A month after finishing Cohen's I am still very nervous about ploughing the weight back on with what would be deemed healthy eating by most people's standards.
I am going to veg out now watching telly as I am talking away to myself again. 'night, Cate.
 
Hi Cate

Your meal sounds scrumptious (is this a word?) thanks for you support in my diary.
Yes it is good to know we have something to refer to when we are lead a stray by too much of eating the wrong foods.

It's amazinng what a difference it makes when you reduce your carb's - your hunger decreases and it actually makes you feel less bloated (it does for me) anyway.

Cate you are doing so well I so am glad you stuck around after refeed you really make a difference here at this forum and what amazes me is that you manage to answer everyones or mostly (everyone') post's.

thanks again
Sam:)
 
Sam- Thank you! Sometimes I wonder if I make any difference at all as it feels like I am blabbering away at myself & I am often tempted to quit posting. You are so right about those carbs. They are deadly to me too. Rice seems to be ok but I feel so much better when I skip them & eat crackers instead. Bread makes me feel disgusting so why would I bother? It's funny but my body says no to bread but my brain still has that memory of loving it once & doesn't want to let it go.
I also know that when I wasn't having any wine my sinuses were happier but I can suffer that gladly as I love a glass of red wine. I now just enjoy one glass but not every night.
Scrumptious is a great word. I use it a lot especially after eating my husband's cooking!
Today is such a beautiful day & I should be outside! My LH is playing golf. I hope I can psyche myself into going bushwalking on Tuesday. I get so nervous about some things. I worry about what I should wear, what to take (just in case) & what to eat etc. I have only very rarely gone to the toilet in the bush & that freaks me a bit. I hope I can get over this as I know I would love it. I really do want to go. Hopefully I will make new friendships & be able to go walking often. One of the women who goes I really like.Her husband used to drink at our pub fairly often but I didn't see her much. She is very confident & strong-minded. I am sure that I would be able to get on well with her. I may ring her & ask what I should wear & take. I hope she doesn't think I'm silly though. Mmm. Maybe I won't.
My LH & I are going to go for a drive tomorrow &I will take my back-pack & do a trial run somewhere & see what's comfortable. I feel like going somewhere now but would much prefer to have company as I'm getting sick to death of my own!
I'm going to go & have a quick lunch(just a couple of hard-boiled eggs & salad today) & go for a short drive somewhere I think. Cheers for now, Cate.
Weight 70kg this morning. I'll cut down the carbs today. I don't like being in the 70's!
 
I canned the drive & spent 2-3 hours outside with a hand-saw & pruners instead & tidied up all along our drive. I am absolutely knackered! I also visited a next door neighbour.
We have eaten Pho Bo for dinner which disappointed me as it wasn't as it should be. I wasn't going to have it tonight as we need to buy some things to go with it to make it more authentically Vietnamese but my LH had his heart set on having some tonight. One of the reasons I stopped cooking years ago is that I expect things to be perfect & follow recipes to the letter. My husband could shut his eyes & cook anything & it is almost perfect every time!
I feel quite unsettled & bored tonight. Boredom is not normally in my vocabulary. This week I will do something energetic. I am starting to get totally sick of myself!
The forum is so quiet at the moment. Is everyone out having a wonderful time? Tell us about it please. I need some entertainment & hearing about your social life will do for the moment! Cheers, Cate.
 
Hi Cate

I'm here I did all the housework today, hubby and kids went to the park and did the garden as well. I am in my bed early tonight last night it was about midnight+ and then I was awoken early by the neighbours kids playing and using their outdoor voice.

Cate I can totally relate about being in the 70's it freaked me out when I saw what I weighed last week.

Well enjoy what's left of the weekend. I'd better go write in my diary.

Sam:)
 
Hi Cate,

What a wonderful journey of ups and downs. I'm so pleased to see that you made it to the end and the you continue posting.

So how does your hubby feel now about your weight loss? You mentioned that he was the jealous type, my hubby kept saying to me, don't go thinking you can leave me for a newer model just because your getting skinny! LOL. He was joking but they say that there is always truth to what we say even if it is only a little bit.

So how are you going overall on the refeed? I have not made it that far yet but found when I came off Cohen's cold turkey that I was literally sick for 4 or 5 weeks and no matter how hard I tried to get back on it, it just couldn't be done. So I know for me deviations are BAD, very very BAD and that I most likely wont finish the eating plan if I do deviate.

How is your veggie garden going? I was thinking of doing my own that way I'm saving money, getting exercise and can feel good about feeding my family fresh food.

Have a lovely day Cate

Faithie.
 
Sam- Hi! It sounds like you have a happy & well balanced, but busy, family life! We had a Chinese meal at lunch-time today & boy am I suffering! I thought I was ok with rice but that is usually my home-cooked brown rice, cooked by the absorption method, not fried. I can still taste the lemon chicken, over & over. Ouch! Talk to you soon, cheers, Cate.
Faithie- Hi & thanks for the visit to my diary. My husband seems to be over his initial jealousy thing. He knows he's the only one I'm interested in but I make sure that he does know & that he sees the benefits of a happier & more energetic, slimmer wife(;)). Sorry if that's too much info coming from an "oldie".
I finished re-feed on the 12th of August & am following the maintenance guidelines fairly closely. I knew when I was on the weight-loss part of the program that I would have to be very strict for the program to be successful. I picked up from the forum that deviations usually led to people dropping out & having lots of trouble with motivation, so I made sure that I didn't deviate. I felt that I had to have a very rigid, determined, attitude to succeed. I am now very glad that I did. I will have to really concentrate on not putting the weight back on. This is probably even harder!
My veggie garden is a few steps closer to getting there. We shopped in Devonport today & I bought some seedlings & my husband seems keen on putting the railway sleepers together for me so that's good. It will be much easier now that they are cut & ready to go. Hopefully, we'll get them together one day this week. I'll plant the seedlings in bigger pots tomorrow for the moment.
I might come back again later. I feel so full & bloated. We are drinking a large pot of herbal tea- a mix of spearmint & jasmine so that should help with our digestion. I drink heaps of herbal tea these days & have all sorts of different brews. Like Sam, I am enjoying the herbal Chai which I buy from our local whole foods store, where you buy your foods loose. It's wonderful. It's great not to buy products with lots of packaging.
Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. I am enjoying having my husband home all weekend for a change. He has his work roster for the next 4 weeks (which is unusual) & he has every weekend off. Yay! Cheers, for now, Cate.
PS. Weight 69.5kg
 
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Hi cate,

I read your diary almost everyday !! I haven't written much coz I had a few bad days and didn't really want to right I guess I was trying to avoid my deviation week haha. Hey you are doing really well you know with your maintanence I think its better that you feel that way, because that way you will keep in check with yourself and you will avoid going back to the place you were before. So keep on keeping on Cate never forget what an inspiration you are. And it is quiet here my diary hasn't even seen a visitor so I have been writing on the New You one only because there is more activity there and I find it helpful.

Keep posting ok and never think you are rambling to yourself ok
 
Suzie Slim :flame:- I'm sorry I sounded like such a sook! I go over to the other forum when this one is quiet but only very rarely post there as there are so many threads & diaries I would never do anything else if I got started.
I feel a little unsettled at the minute I must admit. I want to do things but am having mild anxiety attacks about it. Last night I tossed & turned & couldn't get to sleep thinking about this walk tomorrow. I am such a worry wart! I have never gone backpacking at all. I keep worrying about what I should wear and take with me. I hate doing something for the first time.
We went for a drive yesterday, bought some vegie seedlings, did some supermarket shopping & ate Chinese. I really suffered from the Chinese food as we only ate the lunch special, which basically comprised of meat, sauce & fried rice. I had lemon chicken & my LH had the duck.There were no vegies. We should have ignored the cheap option & chosen more wisely.
Last night we ate my Pho Bo which was a much healthier option, with only a small amount of carb's in the rice noodles, followed by fruit salad & yoghurt.
This morning I have had yoghurt for breakfast & just ate an orange with 2 crackers. My stomach still feels a bit bloated & uncomfortable.
Weight 70kg this morning. I am a bit listless & tired, have a bit of a sore throat & don't feel like doing anything much today. I could easily curl up & go back to sleep. I had volunteered to mind my GD today but she has a an upset stomach & sore bot, probably from teething, so I don't think I'm going to be called on. I might just take it easy I think.
I am sorry if I have sounded negative lately about others posting or not. If I can help any-one else I am happy. I have just got into this habit of typing every day & it would feel weird to stop. Hope every-one is doing well & enjoying the improving weather. Hi to all, Cate.
 
I just remembered- Suzie I think your diary was in the weight-loss fitness diary section but not in the Cohens-lifestyle part of the forum so that is why none of us post there. I went over to the other diaries once out of curiosity but haven't since. I love reading your posts. You always make me laugh which is wonderful. Are you Suzie in the other forum as well? xo Cate.
 
Hi Cate

Never stop posting... I look forward every day to see your post. The days I dont get in here I look forward to the next day reading two days worth! I think I need to stop writing so much as by the end of it I'm all written out! ha

I just have so much to say at the moment because i'm on such a high!

It sounds like it's another 'Me time' day for you!

As for your walk - YOU WILL BE FINE. As you have said you have met the lady who runs it before and just think of how you will feel when you reach your destination! I know it can be daunting but I am sure everyone will love your company as much as we all do in here!

Take Care - and STOP THINKING TOO MUCH!

Lauren x
 
Hi Cate,

I hope your feeling better this evening. Did you get to have a rest and is your tummy feeling better?

It's pretty bad when you have so many things come at you at once, you don't know if one leads to the other or if your body is quietly telling you to take it easy.

Well I hope your feeling better.

Take care

Faithie
 
Lauren- I really needed to hear that. You just brought tears to my eyes. I have been really battling all day. I had talked myself out of going even though my bag is packed, lunch is ready & I have the clothes out that I decided to wear. I think you have given me the courage to go. Hopefully I will wake up rearing to go & will go. I have had a headache all day long & still have but I think you're right. I think too much!! I really appreciate your words tonight. Thank you, xo Cate.
Faithie- I don't feel much better tonight I have to admit but I really appreciate your sweet thoughts. I think we all have a battle at times. Just because we lose weight doesn't mean we are instantly confident & have no problems. I think my body is now so used to really healthy, preservative free food & has been for almost 8mths that I think it reacts more than it used to. Looking back at my yesterday's lunch I think that it probably had MSG & Tartrazine in it, which are both key triggers for asthma, which I suffer from. Plus it included a glass of house wine which, of course, would have been cask wine which usually has lots of sulphur, which also upsets my asthma. Basically I have to be extra careful about what I eat when I am out & yesterday I did not choose well. It's a minefield!
Low-fat, low-carb, no MSG, no artificial colourings or flavourings or preservatives, try to eat organic whenever possible........ Eating at home is much easier & nicer usually.
I want to plan my meals better now than I used to before Cohen's. I would like to read some literature about what I should eat in a day & might try to plan a week's menu in advance. I know that I felt much better when I was following Cohen's strictly & am wondering whether I should go back to it & give up all of the "extras".
I have not had milk at all, haven't eaten much bread at all, don't drink much alcohol but I don't feel anywhere near as invigorated or enthusuastic. I am wondering whether this is a physiological thing or a psychological thing. It may be that when we are losing weight we have extra energy as we burn up that fat!
Typing in here & reading Lauren's & Faithie's posts has made me feel so much better & more positive. Thank you both! I hope to come back tomorrow night reporting how my day up Mother Cummings peak went! The day is meant to be sunny & 17oC. I had better take my camera as the views are meant to be splendid! This will be the first time I have even used a backpack, let alone trecked 6km with one. I have one of those 2litre water bladders with a tube thingy! Wish me luck, xo Cate.
 
Cate! Cate! Cate!!!!!

I hope you have an Awesome time on your walk! I am sure it will go really well and you will realise, like I usually do, that it was not as bad as you imagined it MIGHT be! I too really really struggle with facing new things, especially new social situations. But you have been able to overcome so much in your life already! What's one walk with a few new people? Sure there may be some difficult or awkward moments, but aren't there always in most things we do in life, and we generally get through them. If we hide... like I have been known to do... then we dont grow or learn and we become isolated and then getting out and being involved becomes just that little bit harder the next time round! You have seriously overcome and worked through so much.... dont let the fear of the unknown stop you from achieving your goals! You didnt know if you could get through Cohen's when you first signed up.. BUT YOU DID IT.. and you did it with FLYING COLOURS!!! You are truly amazing and inspiration to many!

I know that I dont pop in very often... I find it hard to write in my own diary once a week, and keep track of everyone else's diaries.... that most of the time I just dont have the time to say something! But please know that my thoughts are with you and I love reading your diary and would miss it if you stopped sharing your journey with us. Maybe I am just nosy???!!! :p

I look forward to hearing all about your wonderful walk and maybe even see a photo of you with a great view!!

Blessya
Kath
 
Mother Cummings Peak report!!!!!!
Well I don't know quite where to start. I did it! I loved it. I was confident, out-going, chatty & had a ball. I was right up there with the walking. It wasn't easy hiking at all & as I said it was the first time I have ever walked with a backpack or ever tackled a walk like that really. Wow! I must admit I was really pleased with the way I went. I am aching almost everywhere & will be worse tomorrow & even worse the next day I would imagine but it was well worth it.
I managed the steep climb really well but quite a few decided not to walk to the actual peak as the fog was coming in thick & there was not going to be a view at all & the climb to the very peak from the plateau is over very rocky scree. I decided to stay with them as the others had advised me that it was probably a good idea not to do it on my first walk as it's their hardest one of the year. Fog usually plays havoc with my asthma. I'm very pleased I didn't as there was no view at all.
The walk back down was much harder than the walk up as there was a lot of loose rocks & it was very steep. Two of the ones with me ended up on their backsides. Each step you took you had to carefully place your foot & hold on tight, making sure that it was stable before you moved the other foot & so on all the way down, so my thighs are subsequently screaming.
Even though I am hurting I feel bloody wonderful! The woman that I knew whose husband used to drink at our pub I was with all day & we got along famously. She is great & I have always liked her. She was really good company. I asked her how to go about getting a job where she works & she is getting me an application form tomorrow. She works for the Electoral Commission & does office work on a casual basis which would also suit me I think.
I quite liked all of the others & was just able to be me. I felt like my old self again. I am going to have to keep pushing myself constantly I think (with help from my friends!!) as I need to get out there & socialise.
The woman who organises the walks did not go with us today but was there first thing this morning. When I said that I was surprised that she remembered me from what must be well over 10 years ago she told me that she remembered me because I was so friendly & happy. Wow!
We all went for coffee in town afterwards which was nice. I am being picked up next Tuesday as they drive through my area on the way. It's to be a beach walk next week, including a walk up Archers Knob which has excellent views apparently. I can't wait!
When I got home my LH was home & he is a bit down because of his work. I can't go into too many details about his work but they are wanting him to be something he is not. He seems to be doing his job very well but they are wanting him to be more aggressive & confrontational which he is not thank goodness. He rang them to say he won't be going in tomorrow & he told them why. He has been asked not to make any rash decisions & I'm sure they will think about what they are asking him to do. I think he is just about perfect how he is. He is compassionate, fair, gentle, intelligent & I would not want him to change. The environment he is working in is very difficult. I think he can make a difference if he is left to do things his way. Hopefully, they will stop trying to make him change.
There is another job in the same place which he really enjoys & where this is not an issue & he can do without any stress or pressure. It is hard work but he does not mind that but it does not have the same issues & is much less stressful. This was his initial job there. He was never meant to do the other but got talked into it. Unfortunately, it requires someone to leave for him to get a full-time job in this section. The management wants him in that job but..... They are able to offer him 7 weeks over Christmas when one of the staff are on holidays.
I hope he feels better tomorrow. It's my time to provide the support again. Life is like that & so is a good marriage. We are lucky in that regard. It's only when we are both under stress that it gets really hard.
Luckily I bought the spouting spikes we need to put the sleepers together so guess what we'll be doing tomorrow?
1 of the walkers is offering me plants for my veggie garden & another thinks she can get me some Vietnamese mint as a neighbour of hers gave her a plant. They were a mixed bunch of people but it was a fun social occasion. I'm taking some coriander seedlings & perpetual spinach seeds to give them next week. It would be nice if my LH went along some time but if he has a Tuesday off he likes to play golf with the veterans. He would like these people though I'm sure.
This was going to be a little post saying how I'm too tired to post tonight. Ha!!
Cheers for today from Cate, the exhausted, aching, smiling, wacky, "Wacky Walker."
 
Way to go Cate! I'm very proud of you. You offer us all great motivation and the possibility of believing in ourselves.

What a pity that because of the fog your walk to the top would not have been spectacular. It would have been good for you to see a spectacular view for all your efforts.

You make me want to go out and explore where I live, I used to do bushwalking, hiking, mountain bike riding many years ago and have missed it but Hubby doesn't really like it and the kids are only now getting old enough to be able to come. Maybe I will be able to convert one of them. I have a 50% chance seeing as there is only 2 of them!

Again good work Cate. You must be pleased with yourself.

Hope that your not too sore over the coming days.

Faithie
 
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