Cate's Diary

I just read back over my earlier post. I know why I was feeling out of sorts! I have felt utterly miserable ever since he got back from his "interview". There hadn't been a position advertised. In fact they hadn't been looking for anyone until we walked in the door.
They want him to start tomorrow night & he has accepted. He will work Thur, Fri, Sat & Sun nights. It will only sound totally selfish if I try to explain how I feel. When our boys were babies my husband set up a restaurant with a chef as his partner. I was home "alone" at night for years & my LH never wanted to socialise with any of our friends & was always tired. We led totally separate lives. I thought if we had stayed in Melbourne & he had continued working nights we might not still be together. I really hate being home on my own at night & am starting to cry as I type this. He will have his social life as part of his job & I will never get him out for meals or visiting friends.
We now can't go together to a 50th birthday party & I won't go on my own. I have promised that we will have the grandkids for a Sat night in November & he will be working until midnight. It's quite different trying to get babies to sleep at night & it will be the first time for our grandbaby. Life has just taken a turn I didn't want it to.
I'm sorry I am so miserable. I was really hoping he would come home deciding not to take the job. Bugger!!
I'll go for a look around I think. I couldn't go to 8-ball. I told him I was tired still from my walk. I will worry about him getting home safely every night he works. I wish that the kitchen job had worked out. It seems that whenever you think things are going ok.......
Just to give you an idea of how stressed I feel I just succumbed to temptation & have eaten chocolate! I survived all year without doing this! Aarrgghhhhhh!!!!! :cry: Cate.
 
Hi Cate... I hear your stress! I hope you wont mind if I offer some thoughts?... It sounds like you really need to talk to him about how you feel.... it may not actually change anything practically, but it will certainly help you to feel understood and for him to know that you are having these thoughts and feelings. If you don't share them with him, then you run the risk of becoming quite separate again... don't you think? I wonder if for your LH, there was a sense that he felt he needed to take the job to make sure that money was still coming in and that he was doing the right thing by you etc...

I know that this might be a painful conversation but I truly believe that these are important conversations that we need to have with our loved ones. There are 3 keys to good relationships..... COMMUNICATION.....Communication... Communication! Talking about it means that you can also look to the future and find ways to overcome these issues and look to address them as soon as possible... but if he doesn't "really know" how you feel (ie he only suspects or knows that something is upsetting you, but not what) then nothing can be done...

Don't beat yourself up so much! You are entitled to have the feelings that you do. His decision has an effect on you and the rest of your families as well. And I think Chocolate once in a year is pretty good going and really shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

Anyway... those are just some of my thoughts. Hope your day is better tomorrow!
Blessya
Kath
 
Hi Cate

I agree with Kath about talking. You never know, he may take that on board, and once he has been there a while may feel that he can change his hours to suit your relationship a bit more.

I know that going it alone so much will be a disappointment to you. You sound like you and your LH have such a close relationship and that you want to spend time with him, and quite frankly, given how long you have been together, I think that is amazing.

Nothing is set in stone. He may start the job and find after a while that it is not for him anyway.

I guess however if he really enjoys what he is doing and doesn't want to change, then I guess there's not much you can do but accept it. Maybe with your new found confidence and slim body you may feel comfortable enough to go out on your own from time to time.

I really hope it all works out for you cate and that you don't use this as an excuse to go back to bad eating,which we all want to do, although chocolate once a year makes you a saint not a sinner!

Best wishes
Leila
 
Kath & Leila- GOOD NEWS!!!!
When my LH got home from 8-ball last night I was asleep in the chair. I did tell him how I felt & that I had a little cry after he left. I didn't say a lot, because I felt too miserable but did say that I didn't want us to go back to leading separate lives. You're right about us being so close after all these years together (36 years in a couple of weeks) We enjoy one another's company & we love being home together at night. I do think he had taken a little of my stress on board about not having an income. He hadn't seemed worried about it at all but I was.
I had stated how I felt but had saved the tears for after he left for 8-ball. I think my staying at home helped him to think about it as well. He also heard some negative things about the owner which I had already heard. We like to make our own minds up about anyone though. I think the owner was a little too eager especially in regard to him taking over the management of the place & that set off little alarm bells. Working together for 18 years in your own business is a far cry from working for wages. We did that to educate our kids & to build our house. Now we need a balance.
I had made an ap't yesterday to see my doctor today to get a script before she leaves on maternity leave. My husband told me that he would come with me, call in to the pub & let them know that he wasn't going to take the job. I was so happy & relieved. It went ok. My doctor is so sweet. I told her about the wackies & she said I should be very proud of myself. I also told her about my LH.
That's the 2nd job he's knocked back in a week. I told him that means he's in demand & that there are more suitable jobs on the horizon.
When we got back we talked further about it. He really hopes a permanent kitchen job will eventuate. He now has 3 days work next week in the kitchen as they rang also! He says he is not at all worried about money so I will learn not to worry as well.
I really do love the support you give me. I couldn't wait to get in here & let you know what had happened. I am so relieved I feel like celebrating. I wish we had some bubbly!
I got an email from the friend that visited last week & she had an ap't set up today with Lisa re doing Cohen's. I am so excited for her! I should get an email in the next day or so to tell me how she went. I do love it when others join the program. It is so good & it works if you follow it. She has been reading my diary & said she was up to page 24! OMG:eek: It's funny but I haven't told my sons or sister where to find my diary but even though I have told a few friends & they can come in here & read my innermost thoughts I try to put it out of my mind. I have decided that it doesn't matter if the people you like really know what you think. I used to try to keep part of me held back for fear of who knows what! It means of course, that I rant & rave to all of you, but I have found it's better off out than in!
Now that I have my absolutely darling husband home with me this evening I don't think I will come back later. I will give him my undivided attention & share a bottle of wine (following the Cohen's maintenance guidelines of course!) By the way, I'm far from a saint! It would not have been good being home on my own most nights feeling miserable though. What scared me was that I felt totally out of control. Lucky we didn't have a house full of vanilla slices or custard tarts. I would have shovelled them in. Mind you I didn't eat all of the chocolate(about 8 squares), but I did eat lots of sultanas & raisins, (figuring they would go through me) & felt like drinking muscat (but didn't.) I ended up eating 2 oranges & then cleaned my teeth, feeling disgusting.
I def. will not read back over this.
xoxo, much relieved & happy, Cate.
 
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Thats wonderful cate! I'm very relieved for you.

Now i need to take my own advice and communicate more with my partner!

Hope you have a great weekend.

regards

leila
 
We have gone back to Winter. Brrr! We have had hail stones, wild gusty winds & it's freezing. We had a nice night last night & my Lh seems very happy about not taking the job. He was a tad embarrassed at saying yes, then saying no, but that's ok. It's better than starting the job & then tossing it in in a week or 2. This way they didn't get dependant on him & then be let down.
The builder didn't turn up this morning & didn't ring. My LH was going to work with him & finish the job off today. Now we have no idea when it will get finished. Not to worry-there's no point really. My LH is working on Mon, Wed & Thurs & wants to play golf on Tues..??
We have had a funny old day really. I have completed a job application & have started on my resume. He has cooked mainly & is now reading a book. The day is not much good for anything else.
We just got a call with a quote for finishing off our wardrobes, with mirrored doors & it's about what we expected (nice change) so we will get have that job done soon at least. Our original builder wasn't great at finishing things off. He was(is) a personal friend & this can be good & bad. I'm looking forward to seeing the doors done. The grandkids will love the mirrors. We don't have a wardrobe as such in our room or a mirror. We have a walk-in robe between our bedroom & our en-suite. I would quite like to have a wardrobe built in our bedroom as well as we (I) don't have enough space to keep clothes. I will leave that job until next year I think.
We were going to start filling our new garden beds today if the builder didn't show but it is too wet, wild & woolly out there. I think I'll go & find a good book & veg out for a while (no pun intended.)
I feel like eating today. I don't feel stressed but am also craving sweet things. Lucky my LH is home. I will weigh myself tomorrow morning. If I was a kid I would say I was having a growth spurt as I'm hungry most of the time.
I'll pop back later & see if there's any activity.
Cheers for now, Cate.
 
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Ooh wah! Weight this morning 71kg. Ouch.
My LH went off to golf early & after pottering about doing housework for an hour or so I decided to get outside & get some exercise. I used a mattock on a little hill of topsoil, to break it up & shovelled trolley loads of topsoil into one of the garden beds. It was hard work. I got rained out in the end & it's a good thing as my back is a bit sore.
We have watched the AFL Grand Final this afternoon & thoroughly enjoyed seeing Geelong flog Port Adelaide.
Not much activity in here tonight so will say goodnight. Cheers, Cate.
 
Red alert- Weight 72kg!!
I really don't know why this is. I haven't eaten any more the last few days but have gone from 69.5kg to 72kg in about 3 days. Is this from exercise again?
Today I will not eat anything that was not on the original program & will drink more water & see what happens. It's aggravating though & a bit scary.
We got outside & only got one load of topsoil done & the skies opened up so we came back in. Now the sun is out again & we might head back out. Tomorrow I'm going to Devonport for a mammogram & to give blood & will buy some Moo Poo & some potting mix. We are half filling the beds with topsoil, then lots of newspaper, then leaf litter from under the blackwood trees that also has lots of sheep poo mixed in with it, then Moo Poo, then potting mix. I will then be able to plant seeds & seedlings. One bed is now ready for the Moo Poo, Potting mix & then plants. We still have 2 large beds to do from scratch. It would be great to get them done today & we still might, depending on the rain (& energy).
My LH is very strong & quite fit (for an old boy-ha ha)so today he will do the shovelling & I will able to help him lift the trolley filled with dirt & can spread it out while he gets more. I hope he gets enthusiastic as I need a bit of a push today. I feel tired really.
It's a bit of a bugger weighing more as I don't feel like I have put any on. I did have a slice of home-made bread with my soup at lunch-time yesterday & am a bit bloated & a bit clogged.
I'll pop back tonight to have a look about. Cheers, Cate.
 
Well we got the beds done in between wild winds & beating rain. What a day! I have stuck fairly well to the original Cohen's plan & hopefully the scales will be kinder tomorrow. I still have to get my system working properly though.
I am going to Dev't tomorrow & may enquire at my old health food store if they know of a good naturopath. I just got a call from an ex-work mate who I had phoned a few weeks ago. She left work about 3 weeks before me & we are going to visit our old work-place together tomorrow. We'll give one another courage. I am looking forward to seeing her as she is lovely. We'll go for coffee afterwards.
I might buy some more seedlings tomorrow to put in one of the beds. I have lots of seeds but they are mostly herbs. One of the Wackies is giving me some Cos lettuce seedlings & I am taking some Coriander seedlings on Tuesday. I might try for celery as I eat quite a lot of that, maybe zucchini & broccolli. I'll see what's available when I buy my moo poo & potting mix.
No-one's about so I'll scoot, 'night Cate.
 
Firstly will cut & paste yesterday's post that I saved because of the horrible gremlin that froze the forum. It's sad that someone would get their kicks this way! Pathetic really!
Yesterday.
“It seems we have a very repetitive gremlin(virus?) in the system. I won't type much tonight as I tried typing in another diary & it would not post.
I have had a very full-on day. I was only home long enough to put my shopping away & then headed out again & have only just got home. I feel very tired. I went to a bushwalking store & tried on backpacks, raincoats & bought a little thermos. I had a mammogram, went to the supermarket, gave blood, met my ex-workmate, visited my old workplace, went for coffee, went to a health food shop, butcher, more shopping at another bushwalking shop & got home about 4pm exhausted. I put the shopping away, my LH arrived home & we headed straight out to have a look at a man about a horse...
Today was a weird day with food so have no idea how the scales will be in the morning because I actually didn't eat much because my day was so full. My lunch was a packet of beef jerky. I did drink lots of water though.
I hope I get a good night's sleep & wake up full of energy, ready for tomorrow's walk!
I hope this posts... Cheers for now, Cate”
Today.
Yesterday really was not good preparation for a big walk. I was really exhausted today. I went off with the Wackies but did struggle a bit. I really enjoy it but today when we sat down for lunch I could have put my head down & gone to sleep on the picnic table. We went to Liffey Falls & did a pretty long walk. I thought we were done & dusted but then they decided to do another walk for about 45 minutes. Afterwards we go for coffee(&cake?) at a local cafe. I got home exhausted, soaked in a bath in lectric soda & got into my PJ's. If someone visits too bad!
Next week's walk is a big one- a 6hr walk! Phew. I had better prepare a bit better for it next time. I may do the shorter walk but will wait until the day to decide.
I didn't get a new pack as the one I have is new but after today I know that my pack is not suitable for me. My back, shoulders & neck & hips really hurt on the walk. The woman in the back-packing shop was very helpful & not at all pushy. I tried on quite a few packs & found one that fitted me perfectly. She told me & showed me how to properly fit my pack & advised me to see if my pack could be adjusted to fit before I buy a new one. I tried today but to no avail. Ouch! I had to take painkillers as I got such a head-ache.
My only raincoat is a japara which is terribly heavy. I tried on a Goretex raincoat, size small that was great. It fitted me perfectly & they can get it in red. I asked the price & it was $355 so I didn't buy that either.
I have decided I will have to master selling on ebay so I can justify buying some good gear. I will also shop around to see if I can get the same gear a little cheaper. Hopefully there will be some good sales coming up in Tas or maybe I can do better in Melbourne. I just can't spend without guilt because I don't have my own income. I asked my last boss if I can put her down as a reference for a job application & she said of course. I do think I would prefer to stay at home so the selling thing would be a good idea. I have even been considering using our home as a B & B.
OK. I'm off for a look around the diaries now that I can. I typed in one last night & it wouldn't work. It looks like everyone has given up temporarily. Cheers, Cate.
 
Hi Cate
Its funny you should mention ebay. I've just started an ebay store, so if you need any help or tips then i'm happy to help. I started selling all my maternity clothes and girls baby clothes (as i had a boy) and now DS baby clothes as he grows out of them. I got the bug and decided i could do it to earn some pocket money. Its fun-mostly

cheers

leila
 
Hi Cate

I am so happy to hear that you are enjoying and going to your walkers and even looking at some new equipment to make your activities more comfortable! Very exciting. I'm very proud of you, you went even though you were knackered! Your body will soon adjust and stamina will be your new middle name!

I actually started to write a post in here for your yesterday at about 9am and then shut my computer down at the end of the day before remembering to finish and post it. Thats how my last fortnight has been! It's just manic and I haven't posted in my own diary for what feels like eternity! Thank god again to Cohens because without the structure of my program I really believe the last two weeks would have been so much harder. 6 months ago the ease of things I would have probably just grabbed crap food and probably gained 5kg in two weeks to add to it! Hurrah for Cohen's!!! For this reason also though I do worry about when I'm finished but I dont need anything else in my headspace right now so I will leave those thoughts to the side until the time comes!

I have been so excited to read about your garden coming along. My Oma's inheretance has come through which means that we will be able to get our gardens hopefully finished by Christmas. Well to a stage where LB can be constructive out there in the two weeks he has off over Christmas because the factory shuts down! It's all very exciting and any spare minute he has been able to grab from me we have been writing to do lists, wish lists and calling people to come and provide quotes!

Well I might try and get in and post in my diary now. Just wanted to say hi and I'm still here and going strong!

L x
 
Leila- I think ebay would be fun too. I have pm'd you.
Weight today 70.5kg.
I won't tell you what I ate yesterday but know that it was quite considerable. I must eat more on walking days as I'm ravenous all the time. I took more suitable energy food & it made a difference. The scales this morning vindicated my choices. I tried to eat really healthy low-fat, low sugar foods but enough. I nthink I got the balance right.
One of the women walking suggested I cut out oranges & mandarins as they may be aggravating my arthritis. I think she may be right. I feel I am addicted to oranges. I will cut them out for a few days & see if I hurt less. Today I feel pretty good really & not very stiff. I am just a little sore in the shoulders & neck but think that's from my back pack. I will do a search online, maybe on ebay for the pack that I tried on & perhaps the goretex raincoat. I just thought of that as I started typing. What a good idea. I wonder how many people buy the gear & then give up.
My husband is really impressed with me going bushwalking. He said something to me last night & I realised he is genuinely proud of me. That feels nice.
A good friend rang me this morning as she has been knocked back by Cohen's. She was so excited about starting the program after catching up with me recently. She said she was about to sit down & cry & rang me instead. I can understand how she is feeling but I think because she is so determined that she will still be able to lose her weight but it is very disappointing. It would be good to find out exactly why she was knocked back. I think if she followed the program loosely she would lose weight gradually but it would be good to know. If anyone has passed on their program to a friend who has tried I would appreciate you letting me know. I don't want to give her advice that would make her sick.
I had better go & get some lunch into me as I'm feeling empty. Not hungry, just empty.
Pho Bo for lunch. I love it! Vietnamese food is beautiful & so healthy. I probably won't be back today as I will go out tonight to my LH's 8-ball. Cheers, Cate.
Lauren- We were typing at the same time! Hi to you you busy thing. I have missed you! Thank you for taking the time for me. I am loving the bush walking & my garden. I am getting stronger & fitter each week. I can feel my stamina building. I make sure I give myself a shove every day to do something positive. My stomach is rumbling so will head, xo Cate.
 
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Yesterday I got a call from one of my SIL's asking me if I was interested in a job. It would involve helping a girl with brain injuries acquired in a car accident. My SIL had been asked if she knew someone in our district who may be suitable & had suggested me. She is not sure how many hours or exactly what is needed but she has met the girl & says we would get on. I am very excited & am hopeful that I will get a call today to go fill out some forms & find out more. I hadn't been thinking along these lines but like the idea of it. Also I will not have to travel far, except perhaps to take her to appointments etc.
Last night- I went to my husband's 8-ball & once again I was the only woman there. I am used to it though & now that I go walking with a bunch of women mostly I don't mind. I didn't have much of a chance to make good women friends when we had our own business, except for those that worked with us and I am enjoying making new friends now even if I won't see them in between walks. Tai Chi will be starting in a couple of weeks as well!
Today- I am really tired today. I think shopping etc all day Monday, bush walking Tuesday & then a late night last night has caught up with me. I have also been excited at the prospect of this job & am feeling a little anxious waiting for the phone to ring. I gave up waiting & have come in here instead. I don't have broadband! My SIL has my mobile number so she'll ring it hopefully.
I raced outside in between squalls & have put the potting mix in each of our 3 garden beds so tomorrow we will plant the seedlings & seeds into the garden. I bought some seedlings the other day. I have bought 3 different types of lettuce, an Asian mix & a chillie. I have lots of seeds that I will plant directly into the garden, mainly perpetual spinach, coriander & parsley & I will try, once again, to grow some Basil but have had trouble growing it before. Any seed or seedling should grow well in these beds as they look excellent. I'll have to have words with those Basil seeds! They might be a dodgy batch.
I was going to go shopping today in town but just can't be bothered. I need to get a postal list for eBay so I can start selling. I know what I am going to try to sell first. My "old" back pack. I have rung around in Launceston to see if anyone stocks the Tatonka one I tried on the other day but they don't. I rang the place I had seen it in the other day, paid for it & they will send it to me. I will get it before next Tuesday's walk. I decided it was essential as the other one is just not suitable for me. I'll ask my LH if he wants the other one but if not I thought that would be an appropriate start to my eBay selling.
Now if I get a part-time job helping someone & can get the hang of selling on eBay then I'm set. I'll have my own income. I rang my son up this morning to ask him if he uses a raincoat I gave him as it is too big for me now. I gave it to him before I decided to go walking as it is not a fashion statement & I don't want to wear anything that's big any more. I really don't care about this when I'm bush walking though. It's very light-weight & folds into its pocket. He hasn't used it once & isn't likely to his wife says as he doesn't like wearing them. I don't either but they are a necessary "evil" bush-walking. It probably won't get worn much (hopefully) but will weigh about half as much as the one I have taken with me the last 3 weeks.
I spent about 2 hours searching eBay yesterday for Goretex raincoats & backpacks & gave up. I'm pleased I'm now organised. I can't wait to get this pack. I'll go for a practice run with it at the weekend. I might take my GS for a hike! I've decided I would much rather spend $355 on something more fun than a Goretex raincoat anyway.
I don't have much in the house in the way of veggies & fruit so made a soup for lunch from canned tuna & asparagus with herbs from the garden. Dinner tonight will have to be steak with a slightly limited salad. It will be great having veggies in the garden. I can see myself getting the bug... the gardening bug that is.
I had better get the fire going soon as it's freezing today. I'm rugged up in polar fleece pants (that were our boy's outdoor education pants when they were at high school), thermal top, polar fleece jacket, explorer socks & sheepskin slippers. Is it really October? Call this Spring? Brrr!
I'm off to do some eBay homework about selling, cheers, Cate
 
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CATE!!! I have finally caught up on your diary since my trip to Perth!

So much has been happening! I am so glad that you talked to your lovely husband and that you not only talked to him but that you were able to share how you were feeling and he understood and by the sounds of it agreed with you. It seems that you have been able to resolve the situation far better than you imagined initially! That's awesome.

I am so glad that things are starting to work out for you in regards to your activities such as recreation and work. Good to see that you haven't shied away from anxiety arousing situations! You seem to have faced them head on and are really finding your feet and a real sense of belonging and value in participating!

Awesome! Thanks again for being so committed to this Board and to sharing your life with us! You are a real encouragement to me.

Bless ya
Kath
 
Kath- Thank you! You have picked the right vocation. You're a natural. The help & encouragement I get in here has really helped me to take control of my life again. I am tackling situations that would have caused much anxiety a few months ago & I am feeling better all the time. I am really ready for the right job.
I haven't got a call yet about the prospective job but I haven't given up yet. My SIL should let me know either way about it over the week-end I hope. I'll ring her if she hasn't called me by Sunday arvo.
The builder & his buddy came this morning & finished off the garage job today. That's a relief. My car will be happy to move back in when I get it cleaned up. I'll ring my OS so that he can come & get all the excess timber to make shelves for his shed. He has a huge fossil & rock collection that he wants to display properly so this will help.
I picked up my Tatonka Tivoni 30 back pack from the local road-house today(it got sent on the bus) WOW! I love it! It fits me perfectly & is really well designed. Next week's walk will be much more comfortable. I wonder if I am up to a 6hr walk? I'm game but I don't want to hold anyone up. Mind you, I've been walking up the front of the group mostly & am keeping up pretty well. Some of them are very keen bush walkers & also go on overnight walks but I don't really want to. I'm not that keen on camping. Day walks are great but I want to be snuggled up at night in my warm, cozy bed, able to have a hot shower in the morning & the use of a toilet. I have squatted behind a bush a few times so far on the walks but can't say I am used to it yet or will get used to it.
We did some shopping this morning as my LH was not working & I ordered an HP printer from the PO. We sent a parcel to a school in Vietnam that we visited last year. It has dirt floors, no educational materials, hardly any stationery at all and when we were there 5 kids were sharing one pen. They sang to us & made us so welcome. Most Vietnamese live in such poverty compared to us. I came back from Vietnam with a greater appreciation of what we have & a much better outlook on life. It has helped me put things into perspective. Every day is a blessing.
Each year we will send a parcel to this school as a thank you for them making us so welcome & for sharing their lives with us. We loved their village. It is up in the mountains in the north, near Sapa & is the home of the H'Mong people.
This afternoon we planted seedlings & seeds & have now filled all of our garden beds. We have Bok Choy, Spring Onions, "Perpetual" Spinach, Chives, Parsley, Coriander, Basil, 4 different lettuces, an Asian lettuce mix & a chilli.
My LH is now up in the kitchen cooking a large lasagne that we will freeze in portions. He makes a beautiful lasagne & includes a layer of spinach or silver beet which helps hold it together. He is such a good cook. We are having steak & salad for dinner tonight with a bottle of soft red wine. I didn't weigh myself this morning but will tomorrow. I think I'll be 71kg though as I can usually tell. I have stuck to Cohen's fairly well today. I will have to concentrate & try to drop back to 69kg before the 12th as it will then be 2 months since I finished re-feed. I might make this a new goal. Be at goal weight each month, even if I go up & down a little during that month (but no more than 72kg's.
My back pack is wonderful. I'm really looking forward to going walking again. It's meant to rain all w/e so may not give it a test run. I find myself thinking about bush walking even when I'm lying in bed. I think I have the bug!
Ok I'll head for now. I had better offer assistance in the kitchen. I might be back later,cheers, Cate.
 
Hi Cate,
I have been reading through your diary and must congratulate you on your great achievment. It must feel great to know that you set out to lose and accomplished your goal. :hug2:
I have just begun my journey but I do feel different about this program as I have to lose the weight to get healthy not just to look good.
I noticed that approx 2 months into your diet you said your clothes were very baggy and falling off, I cant wait for that to happen.....:jump:
Thanks for putting your diary out there for all of us to read, it helps to realize we all do struggle a bit but there is a reward in the end.
 
Torigirl- Thanks for your positive input into my diary. I too, lost my weight mainly to become healthy. No-one, including my doctor, told me to but I just felt it was time to do something before it was too late. So many people my age & younger are suffering the ill-effects of obesity. Looking better & getting compliments is a bonus. My husband loved me anyway but I needed to love myself & to value myself & I couldn't. I used to glance in the mirror & quickly look away.
The novelty still hasn't worn off. I still look & can't quite believe that it is me that I am seeing! I feel quite proud of myself for taking control. Before long you will notice your clothes getting baggy as well. Don't forget to measure yourself each week & try not to weigh too often. That's great encouragement in itself when you see those cm's("s) disappear! Cheers, Cate
Bodyalive- I don't want or need any products thanks. Each to his/her own. Mine is Cohen's. I am at my goal weight, want to eat natural, healthy food & I am allergic to advertising.
Today- I weigh 71kg. I would like to get back to 69kg by the 12th & will make this my goal.
I rang my DIL last night to see if I could catch up with the grandkids over the week-end & she brought them around today. My husband missed them again as he's at golf. My GD is walking! CUTE! My GS had a friend with him & it was sweet to watch my GS showing him around. "This is my room," "this is my drawer"(in the dresser in the dining room) etc. They watched some of a Sponge Bob Squarepants DVD & played in the tree house that my OS & GS built together years ago.
Apparently my GD does not take to others but is really comfortable with me. She giggles & gives me kisses, (without me asking for them!) She loves my ear-rings & plays with them very gently. I taught her that very early! She talks away in baby language & it's if she is saying "These are my favourites" or "I really like these ones, they're pretty" I love silver & pewter.
My DIL looks very pregnant & is now at 6mths. She asked me if I can look after the kids on Wed when it is their wedding anniversary. They had forgotten & their son reminded them. I said I would but my LH will go to 8-ball. I said I will go to their house. While she was here it came up that lunch might be nicer & I said that would suit me more as I would be able to play with her & still be able to go out to 8-ball that night. Also we will both be able to look after her which would be fun for my LH. He too has been suffering from grandchild withdrawal symptoms. Our son is going to call in tonight on his way home from work to pick up our excess timber to make shelves so I will mention it to him.
I still haven't heard from my SIL re the job. She was visiting my MIL (her mother) for lunch today & I half expected a visit from her this afternoon. I probably got my hopes up for nothing. Not to worry.
I have moved everything over to my new pack & it's great. There is a lot more room too & I had better not put stuff in that I don't need & make it too heavy!
I'll have a look about & depending on tv might be back later, cheers, Cate.
 
My LH saw my SIL when he called in to see his mother. She told him it may take weeks before I hear anything about the job. He played golf today & once again the sun shone for him as it always does. It has been raining every day, except the days he plays golf. Luckily my bush-walking day is the same day as his veteran's golf on Tuesdays!
There is another job in today's paper that I am going to apply for, similar to the other one. This time it's a government job with a day care centre, again not too far away. Now I have to get organised with my resume this week. I feel very positive about it all. I know that I do have a lot to contribute still & do want to have a positive job where I can help others. I like feeling that my old self is back. Bush-walking is helping me to be more confident & positive. Each thing I tackle, each time I meet new people I feel more confident. I haven't felt really anxious for ages.
I might go to an open garden day tomorrow in Deloraine if the day is nice, on my own. My Lh has been asked to fill in for someone else at golf. What a life! I don't mind at all as he just loves it. It keeps him fairly fit.
Our OS called in tonight & thinks going out for lunch on their anniversary will be nice so that's what we'll be doing on Wednesday-looking after our gorgeous grand-daughter. We'll also get our GS off the bus, after school, which will give them a day together without the kids which will do them lots of good. I now have to hope for my LH's sake that he doesn't get called in to work so that he can enjoy their company as well. He hasn't seen our GD walking yet!
It's nearly time for RocKwiz which I love. They were cutting up live crabs on the Iron Chef so I grabbed my laptop! Gross!
Goodnight folks. Hope you are all doing well & staying focussed. Thanks for sharing my rambles, Cate.
 
Hi Cate

Sounds like you are really starting to love who you are, which is what i think Cohen's end result is all about, not just the weight loss.

Great to read your enteries! And i reckon you would be brillant in day care. You sound very caring and capable!

regards
leila
 
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