Cate's Diary

Glad you figured out where you want to go golf, and that it doesn't include all that responsibility! Are you going to test the golf ladies and tell them you might come back and golf one day a week, but not do any volunteering? I hope they don't try to sneak little favors in that turn into you doing more than you wanted! But great you figured all this out!!

I love getting new shoes that have good arch supports. I just bought my old brand of walking shoes and love them so much, I get happy every time I put them on. They are like feet hugs!

Good luck at the doctor's tomorrow. I hope it is something little and easy to remedy! Have you tried weight bearing yoga poses for the arthritis? It's supposed to help with the inflammation.
 
Thanks, LaMa. Marsia & M2M.
I really enjoyed lunch yesterday & did say to a few of them that I thought I would be coming back. The woman that I drove down with I told first & she was really happy about it. She is the one that I needed to talk to the most & I stressed that I would not get any keys & would not be taking on any responsibilities & not getting involved in any politics & she seemed to accept that well. I talked about it in a way that seemed like I was asking for her advice. Would it be possible? The women were very friendly towards me, without knowing that I was coming back & when I told a couple of them as we were leaving they were excited.
I cancelled my doctor's appointment. The pain has gone for now, but I'll make a new appointment for the week after next. I was so tired when I got home that I got G to take our GS to work & also to go pick him up & said that I would do it today. I really felt like I need a day at home today. This week has been a bit much & I'm not looking forward to next week at all. I feel like staying at home for a week instead. I think we may have to stay at G's sister's place as there will be too much driving. I have just driven 60 km each way on Tuesday & walked around 18 holes of golf, 60 km each way Wed & lots of shopping & 77 km each way yesterday to go to lunch(with lots of perfume!) & I'm actually feeling exhausted. Next week I am down to play golf for 4 days!
I don't feel down today, just a little bit daunted at the prospect of getting through next week. Things keep being added that we didn't know about. It's fine for those who live in town, but we live 60 km away. Maybe we will have to stay at M & L's on Monday & Thursday. :( I might just bite the bullet & accept that.
I might check out yoga, Marsia. I haven't done it since I was in my 20's.
 
Wow my dear, that's a lot of driving!
Have you set aside any down time for you? Recognizing the fact that you're a little daunted, is the first step to making a plan for some down time!
 
Are there any fragrance free inexpensive places to stay instead? That does sound really hard walking all that ways all day and driving so much. I couldn't handle socializing on top of that. For me socializing is something that only goes well when I am rested and in an upbeat mood, so I am a little biased! I hope you can rest up a lot the next few days to make up for all of that. You need some Popeye spinach!!
 
Are you likely to react (even) more strongly to fragrance when you´re tired or overwhelmed? I´d probably drop one or two of those golf days in favor of more rest if I were you, but of course you decide what´s worth investing your energy in!
 
Lots of news there cate . Your sneakers sound great . I have decided now that trainers are my shoe of choice ( not for work ) and I love my new balance and my sketchers . I’m going To source some nice trendy ones now for wearing shopping etc .

Yikes the flight upgrades were pricy but glad you did it .

Glad the golf lunch went well and that you are happy to go back .

Marsia - feet hugs , love that
 
M2M- It was too much driving & too much perfume exposure & I'm paying the price for it. I stayed at home during the day yesterday & actually had a couple of naps & did very little. I drove our GS to work & then went back & picked him up. He's a good kid & I had asked G to drive the day before. I really do feel very grumpy & out of sorts. The week after next week I have nothing planned at all, but I have to get through this next week first. The woman who talked me into playing 4 days rang me yesterday & she was so excited & enthusiastic that I felt like screaming afterwards. I felt like such a grouch & tried sounding enthusiastic, but don't think I succeeded.

Marsia- We are going to stay with G's sister on Monday night as there is also a sponsors' dinner that night & we hit off before 8 the next morning. She will be in bed when we get there. We may do the same on Thursday night. I'll play it by ear. If I am worn out by Thursday night I will drop G off at golf & have the day off. Fast forward to next Sunday! Hopefully, I will relax into it on Monday.

LaMa- It is a chicken/egg thing. I am so tired today because of the fragrance on Thursday. 7 of the 8 women at lunch had perfume on. They would have known I was going. At the welcoming bbq on Sunday I am going to make sure I catch up with the woman I am sharing a buggy with on Monday & ask her not to wear perfume. My health is much more important than worrying about offending someone. I will take a day off if I need it, I promise.

Em- They had a private cremation at 10 am yesterday. It was good that way. We didn't have to feel torn about not going.

Petal- Sneakers are going to be my shoe of choice too from now on, but also I am going to make sure that I go to a decent shoe shop & get fitted properly. I might put the new insole into my golf shoes. I love my Skechers too, especially at the end of the day, when my feet are tired. I'll be taking a pair of navy ones. They don't have enough underneath them though for walking on uneven or stony ground.
The flight upgrades were pricey & $30 per person, per leg, was the cheapest option by far.
Having lunch with the women was enjoyable, but I do still have my doubts. So long as I go back & just don't get too involved again. I was disappointed that they all wore perfume, except for the woman I drove & she used hairspray. I think I am a little undecided still. I'll play a couple of times with them as a visitor & see how it feels before committing.

Forum therapy-
When I started out this morning I was as grumpy as anything. I wanted to go bury my head in the sand for the next week. Now, thanks to all of you, I am feeling more settled & have a plan to get me through this week. I am in control of my life. I don't have to do any of this if I don't want to. I will take each day as it comes. Thank you my WLF friends, xoxo



 
I have missed something along the way - what is happening next week?

Ok, this might come across as mean or harsh or insensitive - not meant as that - but I just want to give you a different perspective on the fragrance issue. It's like if you had a friend who was a vegetarian and she was going out with 8 other friends of yours. The smell of meat makes her physically ill but all the rest of you absolutely adore a juicy sirloin steak teamed with a glass of merlot. It makes you feel good. Does your vegetarian friend get to dictate if you can go to a steakhouse or not? I just feel that some people love perfume and need hairspray to look presentable. And probably put themselves first Cate.
 
You know that feeling you get when someone says "I know this sounds........."
If I had a friend who was allergic to peanuts, I wouldn't consume them near her.
If I had a friend who was ethically opposed to eating meat I would not eat meat in front of her & certainly would not suggest going to a steakhouse. I would find a vegan restaurant.
I try to be very considerate of other people's opinions.
My sensitivity to perfume (amongst other synthetic chemicals) had me going into Anaphylactic shock this day one year ago exactly. It's not a personal preference. The doctor thought I was having a stroke. I felt like my body was shutting down. I'm still feeling really ill from the experience on Thursday & am hoping I will be well enough to go anywhere tomorrow.
 
Emilyrose said:
Does your vegetarian friend get to dictate if you can go to a steakhouse or not?
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No she does not. But she can expect you not to spring a surprise steak dinner on her knowing it makes her physically sick. People can talk about these things: Hey friend, this may not be the night for you as I´m really feeling the steak urge but maybe we can have brunch on Sunday?
 
I am always amazed at how cookies work an ad for Brooks trainers ( never heard of them ) flashing on my screen just now . They look super comfy.
Cate I agree with the sketchers but I do have one really nice pair with good thick soles that are great for the malls but I wouldn't wear out for a fast walk .

Oh Cate when I was traveling last week I noticed a man wearing a face mask but only on the plane not beforehand, we had been chatting with him for ages . Perhaps you should on the flight .

I am sorry your friends are being inconsiderate , 7 out of 8 wearing perfume is a lot . Hope it sorts x
 
cate said:
Forum therapy-
When I started out this morning I was as grumpy as anything. I wanted to go bury my head in the sand for the next week. Now, thanks to all of you, I am feeling more settled & have a plan to get me through this week. I am in control of my life. I don't have to do any of this if I don't want to. I will take each day as it comes. Thank you my WLF friends, xoxo
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Just popping back to say I have had a good read and catch up and feel more in control than I can get through this "fog " I am in too. So thank you too x to all
 
I think the perfume/hairspray thing sums up why the women at that club are nice, but maybe not nice enough to want to hang out with. They aren't considerate to say the least. People can be nice if it is convenient for them, but where you see how much character they have is when they have to do something inconvenient in order to be supportive of someone. I don't think those women understand that. They aren't being purposely mean or inconsiderate, they just don't understand compromise or sacrifice so that others are happy and healthy, too. The culture now is so "me first" that it is understandable why there are so many people who don't get this. But the question is whether you like them enough to put up with the "me first" attitude. (You could say the same with me and my mom. In my case, she's very nice when she's nice, but if she weren't my mom, I would not put up with her.) Narcissism, such a pain in the butt!!

Really weird we are all so tired at the same time. Let's all take extra naps and extra vitamin C!

Yay for comfy sneakers. Whoever invented sneakers is wonderful!!
 
cate said:
I am feeling more settled & have a plan to get me through this week. I am in control of my life. I don't have to do any of this if I don't want to. I will take each day as it comes.
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^^^^
THIS is EVERYTHING!!
You've got this <3
 
Marsia said:
I think the perfume/hairspray thing sums up why the women at that club are nice, but maybe not nice enough to want to hang out with. They aren't considerate to say the least. People can be nice if it is convenient for them, but where you see how much character they have is when they have to do something inconvenient in order to be supportive of someone. I don't think those women understand that.
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I think you are right about that Marsia. I have been feeling that since Thursday's lunch. I'm only just recovering 3 days later. I think it does tell me something about how they feel really. Most people are self-centred.
It is weird that we are all tired this week. With me, I think it's the change in the weather.
Petal001 said:
Oh Cate when I was traveling last week I noticed a man wearing a face mask but only on the plane not beforehand, we had been chatting with him for ages . Perhaps you should on the flight .
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I always have a mask with me & wear it when I go into the toilets. I can't wear it for long though as they are all hard to breathe in- hot & uncomfortable.
M2M said:
^^^^
THIS is EVERYTHING!!
You've got this <3
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Thanks, M2M :) I'll just have to remember this!
cate said:
I am feeling more settled & have a plan to get me through this week. I am in control of my life. I don't have to do any of this if I don't want to. I will take each day as it comes.
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After 2 days at home, I'm feeling quite a bit better. I am going to really practise some positive thinking about my week. I do get very anxious & I'll need some serious self-talk.
 
cate said:
After 2 days at home, I'm feeling quite a bit better. I am going to really practise some positive thinking about my week. I do get very anxious & I'll need some serious self-talk.
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Self talk has such an impact!
Both good and not so good talk. It's good you're feeling a bit better, two days at home seem to have helped!
 
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