Cate's Diary
- Thread starter Cate
- Start date
Sending you all the hugs you need !
Cate
Long term member
Thanks, Tru xo
I think I'll have a day off the forum. We have the kids here for a couple of hours until their mother picks them up. Then we have our younger son, R, his housemate & his dog arriving after lunch. Then we have S & his wife arriving & D, our older son is coming back after work to catch up with everyone. Neither of us feels slightly sociable & are both still reeling from yesterday. We think we will change clubs at the end of the year.
I think I'll have a day off the forum. We have the kids here for a couple of hours until their mother picks them up. Then we have our younger son, R, his housemate & his dog arriving after lunch. Then we have S & his wife arriving & D, our older son is coming back after work to catch up with everyone. Neither of us feels slightly sociable & are both still reeling from yesterday. We think we will change clubs at the end of the year.
Rebel lee
New member
With all the drama associated with this one, it might be a good idea.
Cate
Long term member
~Thanks, Rebel & LaMa ~ I know you're right. Something that is meant to be enjoyable just isn't anymore.
I won't go into all the details about the golf club as it will just stir me up again. We have lots of people who we feel are friends out there & who we get along with really well. Then there's the committee. On one hand, we are being asked to go back on committee & to take on new positions, including probably the most important job of treasurer & then, on the other hand, there is personal sniping behind our backs, by some committee members, but especially the captain who is almost openly hostile.
As I was leaving on Sat the president of the club(B) came up to me, talking to G along the way. I heard G say C bought that out of her own money, so I knew what they were talking about. Apparently, at the last committee meeting, almost 3 weeks ago, the captain/bar manager brought up that I had obviously purchased a cask of wine, without permission so B said he would talk to me about it. I explained to B that I had bought it out of my own money as we were having her late husband's memorial day & that there was no longer either the white wine or the red wine that she likes so I just went & bought it out of my own money so that she had her favourite wine on the day. I didn't want her knowing that I had paid for it myself.
I really couldn't believe that I was being taken to task for making in effect a donation to the club & I told him so. It is bloody pathetic. G & I felt ostracised on Saturday, so we think this has been the last straw. They are not worth it.
Yesterday-
Our day changed totally. I had this thought that maybe our son & the visiting couple had not communicated their plans very well, when I got a message saying "see you soon" first thing in the morning from S & his wife. We weren't expecting him until late afternoon, for dinner & to stay the night. I messaged him that R was still in Hobart & wouldn't be here until 2pm at least. He said that they would go to the caves & then see us about 2. Our other son works at the caves so I told him they would be on the way.
Then I started having another funny thought that maybe S & his wife planned on going to Hobart all along. I rang the caves & spoke with D & they were with him so I spoke to S. "Yes, we are going there this afternoon." WTF. I told him that I would ring R & tell him to stay put in Hobart. We then arranged for the 2 of them to meet at our local bakery/cafe for lunch after they had been through the caves. We did this & had a lovely catchup & they came up to the house as S wanted to show it to his wife. She was lovely & they seem really happy together. It was very funny showing her the room with the new queen-sized bed. I said, "& this is where you can stay when you visit next time."
They then headed off to Hobart & were going to have dinner with R & stay at his house for the night.
So, what was going to be a big, noisy day/night, ended up just how we like it. G & I at home on our own. Peace *sigh*
We have both woken up feeling much better this morning.
We have to seriously think about how we are going to divest our roles, especially with the vets as we run it. We don't really want to tell anyone yet that we will most probably be joining elsewhere next year. This will not be easy. If the decision gets made 100% then we will just have to sort it, but we are not quite there yet.
Anyhow. Today is a beautiful, sunny day & we are going to do some work towards filling up those raised beds.
I won't go into all the details about the golf club as it will just stir me up again. We have lots of people who we feel are friends out there & who we get along with really well. Then there's the committee. On one hand, we are being asked to go back on committee & to take on new positions, including probably the most important job of treasurer & then, on the other hand, there is personal sniping behind our backs, by some committee members, but especially the captain who is almost openly hostile.
As I was leaving on Sat the president of the club(B) came up to me, talking to G along the way. I heard G say C bought that out of her own money, so I knew what they were talking about. Apparently, at the last committee meeting, almost 3 weeks ago, the captain/bar manager brought up that I had obviously purchased a cask of wine, without permission so B said he would talk to me about it. I explained to B that I had bought it out of my own money as we were having her late husband's memorial day & that there was no longer either the white wine or the red wine that she likes so I just went & bought it out of my own money so that she had her favourite wine on the day. I didn't want her knowing that I had paid for it myself.
I really couldn't believe that I was being taken to task for making in effect a donation to the club & I told him so. It is bloody pathetic. G & I felt ostracised on Saturday, so we think this has been the last straw. They are not worth it.
Yesterday-
Our day changed totally. I had this thought that maybe our son & the visiting couple had not communicated their plans very well, when I got a message saying "see you soon" first thing in the morning from S & his wife. We weren't expecting him until late afternoon, for dinner & to stay the night. I messaged him that R was still in Hobart & wouldn't be here until 2pm at least. He said that they would go to the caves & then see us about 2. Our other son works at the caves so I told him they would be on the way.
Then I started having another funny thought that maybe S & his wife planned on going to Hobart all along. I rang the caves & spoke with D & they were with him so I spoke to S. "Yes, we are going there this afternoon." WTF. I told him that I would ring R & tell him to stay put in Hobart. We then arranged for the 2 of them to meet at our local bakery/cafe for lunch after they had been through the caves. We did this & had a lovely catchup & they came up to the house as S wanted to show it to his wife. She was lovely & they seem really happy together. It was very funny showing her the room with the new queen-sized bed. I said, "& this is where you can stay when you visit next time."
They then headed off to Hobart & were going to have dinner with R & stay at his house for the night.So, what was going to be a big, noisy day/night, ended up just how we like it. G & I at home on our own. Peace *sigh*
We have both woken up feeling much better this morning.
We have to seriously think about how we are going to divest our roles, especially with the vets as we run it. We don't really want to tell anyone yet that we will most probably be joining elsewhere next year. This will not be easy. If the decision gets made 100% then we will just have to sort it, but we are not quite there yet.
Anyhow. Today is a beautiful, sunny day & we are going to do some work towards filling up those raised beds.
Rebel lee
New member
"We don't really want to tell anyone yet that we will most probably be joining elsewhere next year. This will not be easy. If the decision gets made 100% then we will just have to sort it, but we are not quite there yet.
Anyhow. Today is a beautiful, sunny day & we are going to do some work towards filling up those raised beds."
Are there more nice golf clubs/ courses in your area?
What you filling up the raised beds with??
Flowers, veggies, dirt, a lil moonshine hidden under the dirt hmmmmm?
Anyhow. Today is a beautiful, sunny day & we are going to do some work towards filling up those raised beds."
Are there more nice golf clubs/ courses in your area?
What you filling up the raised beds with??
Flowers, veggies, dirt, a lil moonshine hidden under the dirt hmmmmm?
Cate
Long term member
Dirt, leaves, barley straw, sheep poo, more dirt, more leaves, more barley straw, more sheep poo, more leaves........... & then veggies. I do not grow flowers. Actually, that's a lie. I love flowering native shrubs like Grevilleas, Banksias & Callistemons & do have some Kniphofias(red hot pokers) & daffodils(lots of daffodils), but I wouldn't say I am a flower sort of a person.
Rebel lee
New member
Ohh ok... A good old fashioned compost pile.
Cate
Long term member
We spent a lot of the day yesterday discussing what we'll do. It's by no means decided exactly, but we have considered lots of alternatives. We live 15 km from our local course. The next one is about 40 km away. I only know one woman there & would have to start all over, which makes me feel very nervous. G's preference for an alternative club is 60 km in the other direction as he has lots of friends there. We both have so many friends at our club & the nastiness is mainly coming from one person, the captain. G won't say anything to him as he feels it will only make him worse. I have told him that I am going to say what I think. I have had enough. We should not have to change clubs to be treated civilly. It's ok for them to ask us to do all these extra jobs, but it's not ok to treat us decently?
Rebel lee
New member
Do you have to join golf clubs there or can you do like here and just pay daily?
Cate
Long term member
We can do that almost anywhere if we just want to go out & have a hit. It's only $15 at our local club. I can't imagine doing that, but it is an alternative. If we were travelling around we would do that.
Can you please come over & give me some lessons LaMa? It's all too hard at the moment!
Had a stressful day today. All golf club related. It sucks!
Saying no IS hard when you first start doing it. Especially because people who are used to getting a yes every time will up the pressure to make saying no seem like more work than actually cleaning up the rat poo. So you have to be very consistent at first. Don't give reasons, because boundary-pushers see reasons as the start of a negotiation, not a simple explanation. As Captain Awkward says:"No is a complete sentence." Can't remembered who she stole it from. "I'm sorry but we can't do that anymore," if you want to be fancy. "But whyyyyyy?" gets nothing but "we just can't" or "let's not get into that now and just enjoy the game instead."