I think that's a lovely way of putting it. Let the feelings run their course. And they will.
Enjoy your time gardening. One of the best things you can do to clear the head.
Cate's Diary
- Thread starter Cate
- Start date
I think that's a lovely way of putting it. Let the feelings run their course. And they will.
Enjoy your time gardening. One of the best things you can do to clear the head.
Cate
Long term member
I think so too Emily. I took that on board. I am going with my feelings, but also letting them go. Gardening did help a lot. I planted out hundreds of chive bulbs. They're great to have handy.I think that's a lovely way of putting it. Let the feelings run their course. And they will.
Thanks, Cory. I hope so too. He's hiding from everyone & I can understand that. Yesterday, when I said the sadness will pass & he agreed, he also said it takes him a lot longer than me for it to pass. I said that having his Dad makes a big difference. It does. Having someone who loves you unconditionally makes a huge difference. There's also the experience. I have to have faith that he will get through this.
The gardening has made a big difference to my day. It feels good to get outside & get your hands dirty & also the fact that what you are doing will produce healthy food is a big positive. I'm working through this. I can't change my son's life on my own, but I know that he knows how much he is loved & that helps him & me. I am really looking forward to seeing him next Sunday.
Thanks for your support Emily & Cory xox
Little John
New member
Can't imagine living with bipolar. I have run-of-the-mill depression, and that sucks when the mope just shows up.
It's nice that you have that gardening to help you, and it gives back with those vegetables!
It's nice that you have that gardening to help you, and it gives back with those vegetables!
Rebel lee
New member
Dealing with a family member with bipolar can be tough at times. Alot of people just simply don't understand it. They see actors on tv pretending to have it and it's always the same. They pretend to be this psychotic person thats completely out of control. And yes that can be the case but mostly its just dealing with emotions that go far outside of what is the norm. Things like anger and depression seem to intensify. The anger is controllable if you work at it hard enough. The depression is another animal it's depression x50. When your in that state you don't care if you even wake up in the morning. You eat too much trying to bury the emotions or like me you tend not to eat because well whats the point.
The meds do help alot but with me they made me gain alot of weight. My body simply doesn't like them. So i try just to get by on a daily basis. The hard part is there are so many types or levels of bipolar. Like me its bipolar1 with psychotic tendencies. An awful sounding term for hallucinations. I got lucky and dont see or hear things that arent there. Mine are tactile. The feeling of ants or something crawling all over you. Man its awful. Then there are a host of other forms like bipolar2 and a host of others i cant remember.
With your son he will have a unique set of symptoms all his own. Its just different for everyone. I guess its just how we handle the stress of it all. Just the fact that your there for him makes all the difference in the world.
Sorry such a long post. Just a personal subject i suppose.
The meds do help alot but with me they made me gain alot of weight. My body simply doesn't like them. So i try just to get by on a daily basis. The hard part is there are so many types or levels of bipolar. Like me its bipolar1 with psychotic tendencies. An awful sounding term for hallucinations. I got lucky and dont see or hear things that arent there. Mine are tactile. The feeling of ants or something crawling all over you. Man its awful. Then there are a host of other forms like bipolar2 and a host of others i cant remember.
With your son he will have a unique set of symptoms all his own. Its just different for everyone. I guess its just how we handle the stress of it all. Just the fact that your there for him makes all the difference in the world.
Sorry such a long post. Just a personal subject i suppose.
Cate
Long term member
LaMa-Thanks sweets. Family is everything! Well, not quite everything. I love my forum friends too. I spill my guts to you guys & say how I really feel. It definitely helps. Gardening was great. I planted out over a hundred chive bulbs & did lots of weeding.
LJ- Thanks xo Depression sucks! There is no such thing as run-of-the-mill depression. It's bloody horrible!
Rebel- Please don't apologise for your long('ish) post Rebel. It is such a personal subject but I think it helps to talk about it. He has Bipolar 2. Not many people understand what it's like. I think that I may have it too but have never gone far enough to be officially diagnosed. The highs & lows have levelled out over the years for me. It hurts to see him like this & I wish we lived closer. I think he needs medication to get him through this patch, but he has had a bad experience with it & is trying to get by on his own, but not succeeding. A general practitioner prescribed him a strong anti-psychotic which knocked him for 6. He could do nothing but sleep & felt like a zombie. I would like to see him go back to a counsellor he saw a few times & try a low dose combination of drugs. His depression is lasting way too long. I wish I lived closer. Thanks for your post Rebel. It matters to me that people care enough to reach out. I think we are a very supportive group & I know that I appreciate that xoxo
Today-G has gone out to the club to help with a major job being done to the greens. He will be working with 2 of his favourite club people. I just don't want to go there. It's the only way I'm coping(?) with it.
I didn't succeed with getting through yesterday on <500 cals. Oh well! It would have been about 700. No loss this morning.
LJ- Thanks xo Depression sucks! There is no such thing as run-of-the-mill depression. It's bloody horrible!
Rebel- Please don't apologise for your long('ish) post Rebel. It is such a personal subject but I think it helps to talk about it. He has Bipolar 2. Not many people understand what it's like. I think that I may have it too but have never gone far enough to be officially diagnosed. The highs & lows have levelled out over the years for me. It hurts to see him like this & I wish we lived closer. I think he needs medication to get him through this patch, but he has had a bad experience with it & is trying to get by on his own, but not succeeding. A general practitioner prescribed him a strong anti-psychotic which knocked him for 6. He could do nothing but sleep & felt like a zombie. I would like to see him go back to a counsellor he saw a few times & try a low dose combination of drugs. His depression is lasting way too long. I wish I lived closer. Thanks for your post Rebel. It matters to me that people care enough to reach out. I think we are a very supportive group & I know that I appreciate that xoxo
Today-G has gone out to the club to help with a major job being done to the greens. He will be working with 2 of his favourite club people. I just don't want to go there. It's the only way I'm coping(?) with it.
I didn't succeed with getting through yesterday on <500 cals. Oh well! It would have been about 700. No loss this morning.
Cate
Long term member
Thanks, LaMa xoxo
G & I went to the doc yesterday & started organising our shots/pills for our trip to Sri Lanka. It's better to be safe than sorry. We'll even have a rabies shot!
I'm off to play golf with the women today. I feel a bit stronger. We bumped into one of our favourite committee members at the supermarket & he quietly told me that he wants me to do as little as possible behind the bar so that they all see just how much I used to do. I'm going to do just that. It will be hard to see it messy, but I'm going to leave it as it is. I will go behind the bar & get drinks today, get the money out etc, but no re-stocking or tidying up.
It looks like it's going to rain.
Our YS, R sent me a message yesterday to say he was going to have a talk with his supervisor about dropping back to casual. He took on full-time, incl 2 5am shifts& 3 evening shifts to try to get a loan to pay out his partner in his house. I had thought that getting another mortgage on his house would put too much pressure on him financially & he now agrees. The 5am shifts were very stressful as he was cooking for over 100 on his own & also had to do prep work for the lunch shift. When he messaged me he thought he would ask for 3-4 casual evening shifts. I suggested 4, but with Saturdays off. His friends go bush-walking/camping a lot & he usually can't go as he works every Sat. After his meeting he is now working 1-9.15pm, Tue, Wed, Thurs & Friday. He sounded really relieved. I know I am!
I had better get moving.
xoxo
G & I went to the doc yesterday & started organising our shots/pills for our trip to Sri Lanka. It's better to be safe than sorry. We'll even have a rabies shot!
I'm off to play golf with the women today. I feel a bit stronger. We bumped into one of our favourite committee members at the supermarket & he quietly told me that he wants me to do as little as possible behind the bar so that they all see just how much I used to do. I'm going to do just that. It will be hard to see it messy, but I'm going to leave it as it is. I will go behind the bar & get drinks today, get the money out etc, but no re-stocking or tidying up.
It looks like it's going to rain.
Our YS, R sent me a message yesterday to say he was going to have a talk with his supervisor about dropping back to casual. He took on full-time, incl 2 5am shifts& 3 evening shifts to try to get a loan to pay out his partner in his house. I had thought that getting another mortgage on his house would put too much pressure on him financially & he now agrees. The 5am shifts were very stressful as he was cooking for over 100 on his own & also had to do prep work for the lunch shift. When he messaged me he thought he would ask for 3-4 casual evening shifts. I suggested 4, but with Saturdays off. His friends go bush-walking/camping a lot & he usually can't go as he works every Sat. After his meeting he is now working 1-9.15pm, Tue, Wed, Thurs & Friday. He sounded really relieved. I know I am!
I had better get moving.
xoxo
And the same for R taking care of himself. Ask me about how reducing work load can benefit your mental well-being.
Sunflower_
Well-known member
Glad you had a better day, Cate. Onward and upwards!
Cate
Long term member
Thank you LaMa 
Thank you Hana xoxo
Yesterday G & I went out & played 9 holes of golf& then ran the chook run. We were both so bored hanging around waiting but ended up having a nice sociable time with some of the players around the bbq.
While we were there the DH captain arrived & unloaded a heap of cartons of beer etc. I put on my sweet face & went inside when he had almost finished & asked him if he needed a hand. He politely said that he was ok, but then complained that no-one had put their hand up to be bar manager. I told him that I would still be doing the job if I had been left to do it. He huffed & puffed as he brought in the last couple of cartons & I smiled & said "It's hard work, isn't it?" to which he didn't say anything. It gave me just a little bit of satisfaction I must admit. While he was there I said that I would still keep putting things down on a list, the same as I always had when they were needed if he would like me to & he said "yes please." I read out my list & crossed off the things he had bought.
I am trying to fast again today. I didn't quite get through the last one properly. Unfortunately, it's only 9.19am & I am hungry! My weight has jumped up 1kg again, but it feels like fluid, so I'm trying not to get down about it. Onwards & upwards!
Thank you Hana xoxo
Yesterday G & I went out & played 9 holes of golf& then ran the chook run. We were both so bored hanging around waiting but ended up having a nice sociable time with some of the players around the bbq.
While we were there the DH captain arrived & unloaded a heap of cartons of beer etc. I put on my sweet face & went inside when he had almost finished & asked him if he needed a hand. He politely said that he was ok, but then complained that no-one had put their hand up to be bar manager. I told him that I would still be doing the job if I had been left to do it. He huffed & puffed as he brought in the last couple of cartons & I smiled & said "It's hard work, isn't it?" to which he didn't say anything. It gave me just a little bit of satisfaction I must admit. While he was there I said that I would still keep putting things down on a list, the same as I always had when they were needed if he would like me to & he said "yes please." I read out my list & crossed off the things he had bought.
I am trying to fast again today. I didn't quite get through the last one properly. Unfortunately, it's only 9.19am & I am hungry! My weight has jumped up 1kg again, but it feels like fluid, so I'm trying not to get down about it. Onwards & upwards!
I don't think you fulfill your meanness-quota in most months, Cate, so adding a sprinkling wouldn't hurt. It's a bit like me being secretly pleased to see I'm not easily replaced as the boss likes to pretend. Maybe not really being mean but enjoying the fact that we're no longer as vulnerable to the meanness of others?
Cate
Long term member
I think that is right LaMa. It felt good that he no longer had power over me. Apparently, he seems to think that there's nothing much to the job I did. I did take pleasure hearing him moan I must admit. I need to let it all go & I'm getting there. I think I will feel better & better about it all as each week goes on. I will find it hard not to clean up his mess, but I'm going to try.
G & I are going to a bbq this afternoon. D & the kids are going too. It's for our 8-ball team & will be at our favourite pub. G & I are getting a lift home & leaving his old ute at the pub until we get home from Hobart on Monday afternoon. We'll be leaving home early in the morning & having lunch with R(our younger son) & some of his friends at the Farm Gate market tomorrow. We think we'll go & listen to one of our favourite musicians in H play on Sunday night. I'm looking forward to seeing R. I hope he's getting a little better.