Cate's Diary

We got so much done yesterday that we ended up relaxing & had a great night's sleep. I have woken up really refreshed & feel much better. G has gone to work & that means I am home. I am checking out a second car today. I put a message on FB that we are looking for one & a friend rang last night to tell me about a Ute that's for sale not far from us. It is a 2WD Toyota she thinks & is being sold because the woman she works with is moving to Queensland. They want to keep it until the 5th of November. It's a 2010 & only done 27,000 Kilometres. Sounds like it's worth looking at! I'll ring soon. I don't know if it's petrol or diesel, manual or auto, single or dual cab......I dread looking at cars, but prob know more about them than G. We are SOO not a car family! It is too restrictive only having the one car. When my sister is staying I am going to have to drive G to golf or work & pick him up almost every day for a week so that I can take my sister around.I get really nervous making calls like this!
I'll let you know later.
Cheers, Cate
PS A Ute is a pick-up.
 
Good luck on the car shopping. I hated it when I had to do it a few months ago and just gave up and bought new.

As for your son, depression is really hard stuff, which I unfortunately know from first hand experience. But it is manageable and it definitely can get much better as it has for me. Hopefully it will for your son as well.
 
I really hope so Vee! I feel sure that he needs to see a doctor. He is not sleeping either & even tackling that would help.
Re the car- We took it for a drive & G really liked it. I'm so used to my little Rio that it felt a bit like a tank, but I did have a drive & I think it's a really good buy. I think we would get it for only $15K. It is a much bigger car than we need. This is a 2012 version of it-
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I'm used to auto & have not driven a 4 on the floor for about 35 years! It's only a 4 cylinder Ute, with a 2.7 litre motor, but would be good for taking the rubbish to the tip etc but I still feel it's a bit of overkill. We will let them know after the w/e. The guy who owns it is visiting used car dealers today to see what they'll offer him. I think he'll be disappointed. I'm not sure if I would get used to or enjoy driving it, but I would still drive the Rio mostly. It would have to be left outside which would see it deteriorate. My feelings are that it is too big for us at our age & big is not better, even though it's a bargain.
Anyhow, that gives us something else to think about.
I still can't stop worrying about our son. I feel like I'm in fight or flight mode myself & am running on adrenaline! Not good. Only 8 more days & we'll be headed for Darwin. I started putting things together yesterday.
We are off to Dev. this morning to pick up some frozen chickens for the golf club(yes, it's chicken run season next week, when when we will have Daylight Savings :D) & then I'm doing the bar for a Senior Ladies Day this afternoon. Oh joy!
Bye for now, xo Cate
 
Hey Cate!! I second the above, you are such a great Mum. He would be lost without you, and im sure he appreciates and loves you very much

I feel sorry for you and your family, depression is no joke, its such an awful mental illness, I hope he feels better soon and has the confidence to go to the doctor to seek some sort of help or relief. You defo burned looooooooads of cals helping him with his new house:)

I can see why he doesn't want to tell his friends tho, its kind of a pride thing. I am like that with most of my friends with certain things in my life, but when I tell them something I thought they would respond really negatively too, I am always surprised by there response as it is so positive and understanding.

Totally agree with "Maintenance is harder, much harder, but also much better!" you have as your tag. I which I maintained the weight I lost back in 2012 instead of gaining most of it back.

Hope you had a great day Cate:)
 
Thank you Princess. That's sweet. He rang this morning in a state & said that he had "hit a brick wall" at work last night & needs to see a doctor. I then told him about looking up doctors near him & said I would text him the details address of one who sounded good. He sounded dreadful & I asked him if he wanted me to ring & he did. I made an appointment for Monday morning at 11am. It will be a long ap't. This is a positive step at least. I have had a very busy day, & surprisingly I don't feel too bad. He needs help, he knows he needs help & hopefully this doctor will be able to help him. Fingers & toes crossed!!
xo Cate
 
That's great that he's going to the doctor! Definitely a step in the right direction. I also agree with the above posts... you are a wonderful mom, Cate! :)
 
Thanks Jen. I'm a mother for life. I hope he gets stronger & more able to need me less. I'm not one of those mothers who can't let go. I haven't heard from him since yesterday morning & that's a good sign & I know he got through a shift at work & that would have been a big achievement as the bar he works in had an Octoberfest!
We rang & said no to the car as G also had decided it was too big for what we need. The guy rang back last night after visiting car dealers & offered it to us for $13,500 but I told him it had nothing to do with the price& declined. We both felt better for saying no. We'll manage just with my little Rio for a while longer.
Better scoot. I'm dropping G off at golf & heading for Launc. to pick up my new glasses & his new golf clubs. :D
xo Cate
 
I had a tough day yesterday. I was teary a few times & the stress caught up with me. I got my glasses & G's golf clubs & also bought a couple of Summer tops to wear in steamy Darwin. One club is missing( a gap wedge, which he has never had) as it turns out, but we'll ring tomorrow. It should not be a problem.
It may take a while to get used to my new glasses. The glass is deeper(from top to bottom) & I need to put my head down a bit to see long distance! :(
I got emotional yesterday thinking about our YS & couldn't seem to put him out of my mind. I think I may have been over-tired too as I feel a lot better this morning, after a really good night's sleep.
Daylight Savings has started today & that always makes me feel good!
We are staying at home today & are going to go cut some wood! The exercise & fresh air will do us both good!
 
I often forget how hard depression must be on the parents (I was very depressed during my teenage years/early 20's and couldn't quite get my head around my parents' reactions). But I do think you're doing good by your son. Your son will need help, but he will get through it. Keep strong, keep focused *hugs*

PS. Funny you mention daylight savings (making my jealous! :p) My heating went on for the first time this morning! Winter is coming!
 
Thanks LouLou. I feel strong when I am with my son, but once I am not, I am nowhere near as strong. I was awake for half the night last night worrying about him. I am an emotional sponge. Today I feel sick & shaky. He has a doctor's appointment this morning at 11 & he really needs to talk to a doctor about he is feeling. I know how hard this is. I'm going to ring him soon & give his some encouragement. Writing notes is a good idea. He'll cry. There should be no shame associated with depression. It should be looked on like other illnesses, but it is not. I had better ring him now as he's most probably still in bed. I feel sick!
He sounded ok. He told me he has never spoken to a doctor about his depression! His friends GF is picking him up tomorrow & taking him camping with them for a night & apparently she is going to talk to him about alternatives to medication. I said that if this doctor gives him a script to make sure it can be tapered off. If he can get through this without medication it will be good. I have found something called MoodGYM that looks good. I'll tell him about it later today.
Time to get moving I think. I'm in my exercise gear & am going to get on my exercise bike....I think I remember how......
Bye for now, xoxo Cate.
 
Cate, I can just imagine what you are going through with your son’s depression, but you are holding up great! :) Keep the spirit!


cate said:
Time to get moving I think. I'm in my exercise gear & am going to get on my exercise bike....I think I remember how......
Click to expand...

:D :D :D :D :D
 
Good luck on the stationary bike. It can be a fairly good way to sort of "zone out" for a bit and avoid focusing so much on daily chores and issues and such. I'm capable of absolutely wrecking myself with worry when I'm too idle, so some time on the bike (or in my case on the court) often helps bring me out of that.
 
Thanks cheeselover. I have spent a day today, where I barely gave him much thought. I know that sounds harsh, but I know if I don't hear from him it's usually a good sign. He was meant to be picked up to go camping & I hope that happened. He has some lovely friends & the one in particular that he is going with is one of my favourites.
I escaped into a book yesterday, but also rode my exercise bike, went to a meeting in the evening, did quite a bit of housework, some packing for our trip to Darwin, had a "nanna nap" for about 1.5hrs in the afternoon.....

Today I did my usual Tuesday thing- the bar at the golf club, visited my Mum, shopping for the club, polished off the book, while I ate my picnic lunch by the river, went back to do the bar again & am now enjoying a glass of Merlot at home. In the middle there I went to the bank & got some bad news re our OS's finances. His settlement is while we're away & the bank had told him that they would lend him the money needed to pay out his wife. Then they changed it to that amount, less $30,000, which we are now lending him(only because we were transferring superannuation from my husband's account to mine) & now the manager says that she is having trouble getting him the finance at all. His property is worth much, much more than they have valued it at & he(we) are suffering because of defaults in the US. How bloody crazy is that? I hope he's not stressing too much. It was a bloody miracle that his wife agreed to the settlement & now that's in jeopardy. The bank manager is lovely & she seems stressed to the max. Hopefully, we'll hear some good news soon. I am struggling at the moment to keep looking on the bright side. I'm usually an optimist, but this year has seemed like an uphill battle.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm ranting & raving, but I really felt like doing so. Things usually get better! I think I'm just feeling under lots of pressure at the moment & I don't cope with that as much as I used to be able to. It's just a fact of life. At least I'm not teary.

 
The last day has been a blur!
Briefly-
The bank will only lend him $20,000 & we are now taking out a mortgage on our house. He will repay it, but we are legally liable. There is no guarantee that we will get it, or that it will go through in 2 weeks. It has to be paid on the 22nd of October. It is a court order. October 2014 will not go down as the best month of our lives. Today is the 43rd anniversary of the 1st time we went out. What a day. I really haven't the energy to say what we have done today. I would do anything for our sons!
I shed so many tears yesterday. We are going away in 3 days & have no idea how this will pan out. We once said no to our younger son when he asked if we would mortgage our house to help him buy a business. This is not good but I can't see that we had much choice. *sigh* Well, not being the parents we are.
 
Happy belated anniversary!

Sorry you are having so much stress. The trip should help a lot. I know you'll worry while your gone, but you've done what you can do and everything else is out of your hands. Try to relax and have fun.
 
Thanks Q. There's nothing we can do today & we had to go see off the players in the golf comp & played 9 holes ourselves. Excellent stress therapy! When we finished we got a call & the valuation is being done Monday, which is pretty quick, so that's promising! It seems very strange getting our home ready for a valuation for a mortgage that we never ever thought we would ever need again. Such is life!
Golf was good.....not great golf, but great playing golf!
Chilling with a pot of herbal tea (no, not that sort of herbal tea...just peppermint & green tea with lemon myrtle)
I briefly spoke to our younger son about an hour ago & he sounded pretty good. He was out having a game of pool with a good friend, & that has to be a good thing!
 
Hi Cate, just trying to read up on what´s happening in your life right now. I´m so sorry to hear you and your family are under so much stress right now and I don´t really know what to say about it... Wishing you all the best!
 
Glad you got some much needed stress relief in on the golf course. Can't say I'm a huge golf fan, but I do see how it could be stress relieving. I hope things go well with the valuation and mortgage!
 
La Ma- "Hi Cate, just trying to read up on what´s happening in your life right now. I´m so sorry to hear you and your family are under so much stress right now and I don´t really know what to say about it... Wishing you all the best!" I like that youposted anyway. Thank you sweetie xoxo
Jen- "Glad you got some much needed stress relief in on the golf course. Can't say I'm a huge golf fan, but I do see how it could be stress relieving. I hope things go well with the valuation and mortgage!"
Thanks Jen. It just goes on & on. We ended up back at the bank this morning with our son. There is absolutely no guarantee that this will come through on time so we have had to scrape money from all over & we will basically have NONE for at least a few months. I had the worst night's sleep trying to get my head around what we could do to get this settlement done & dusted on the 22nd & could not come up with any answers. This morning we came up with a temporary solution. It's very complicated, but I should be able to sleep better tonight. Tomorrow afternoon we fly to Darwin!
One result from all this stress is a slight drop on the scales. Half a kilo this week. I'll take it!
Be back later xo Cate
 
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