Camy's diary

I AM BACK!!!!

Hello everyone! I am back, I took a 5 month hiatus from internet (we had none at home and the cafe is slow so I only went like once every couple of days and then had no time to come on here) but now I am in London and Spain for a few weeks and then when I return to Ghana we will have home internet so I will be able to come back here! Woohoo!

In the past 5 months not much happened weightwise. I gained about 6 pounds while home and then lost them slowly after I came back, plus a few extra so now I am at 127 pounds which is awesome! I have not been careful with food, just eating what I felt like eating mostly, discovered some amazing smoothies at a cafe near work, and stopped swimming. Considering all that it is pretty amazing I managed to not only mantain but lower my weight even. I am very very happy about this!
It is however also clear that 120 is not going to be the weight I will be happy at unfortunately. Now don't get me wrong I am happy in my body now, I am the size I wanted to be (an S or XS for shirts and an american 4 or british 8 or 29 inches pant size) but not yet completely happy in a bikini for instance. I still have some ab flab I want to get rid of and some chub between my legs on the upper thighs. I look fine but not yet "fantastic" and so I will try to lower my goal weight.
My new goal weight is 115 for now and then reevaluate. Ideally I would like to reach my goal weight for the first week of september, so I have 12 pounds to lose and 4 months to do so. I think this is doable.

Now why early September... well on the 11th of September I am graduating for the second time. I graduated September 2007 (medical school, this time I graduate postgraduate school) for the first time and the pictures are terrible. I was at my highest ever weight of 160 and looked like a whale. So now I would like to be almost 50 pounds lighter when I graduate again and have some pictures where I look amazing.
Second reason is that my in laws have invited us to the Maldives for their 25th wedding anniversary the last week of September and I want to look spectacular as I will probably not ever have the chance of going to such a paradise again. Plus i need to make my mom in law speechless (she is a tad bodyobsessed).

I have not looked around yet to see which of my friends are still around, I will post soem pictures soon so you can see how I look currently and I hope to get the wonderful support I got before again. You guys are so awesome!

My plan as usual is conscious eating, no overeating or unneeded calories but without any restrictions that make me uncomfortable. Exercisewise, since I am on a holiday for almost a month for now I am walking a ton (5 miles today and it is only 1:30, 8 miles yesterday, etc...) and once I go back to Ghana I will go swimming and to the gym 4 to 5 times a week again. I really need to get some more muscle!

So, welcome back me! I am glad to be back!
Love, Camy
 
Yay!!!!

So happy that you are healthy and happy... it's the only thing I worry about when people leave this site!

Oh your life always sounds so charmed!!!! Spain, Ghana, Maldives, oh my!!!

I think it's fine that you want to play around with your goal weight now, as it is undoubtedly every western girl's dream to look "bikini hot"!! :p

I am on a bit of a stagnation weight-wise (as I've been binging and drinking too much) but the runningis good, yes!

Hope to chat with you some more soon, you are my number one interesting person on this forum :)
 
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Ate quite a lot for dinner, but it was a party so that is my excuse, walked a little over 5 km, which was really nice in the sunshine and all.

not much else to tell...
Camy
 
I was just busy thinking "How do people study for so so long and then become doctors"... then thought I'd come ask you. Did you ever feel like giving up? A task like that just seems to huge to even picture myself doing... I mean, I would have liked to become a registered dietician or a physiotherapist... but really, maths AND science?? Ok, nevermind.

Sorry, random, had nothing else to say :) Hope all is well!
 
Another small absence, I think I am putting on weight while I am home but whatever. I try to eat consciously but my mom just cooks so well and so much!
I will fully restart on the 18th of May when I am back home. If I could have any body right now (as in today) I would want to have Kate's body from LOST. I mean she is too skinny, but she is also so muscly, I really like it. I usually like more well rounded bodies, like curves and not a lot of definition, but she looks really good being skinny, tiny and muscular!
But well, I am pretty sure that won't happen, however it is an image I can work towards!

Anke, I guess you don't just wake up being a Dr. learning to do it is part of the fun. I started med school because I liked the idea of learning more about the human body, and it really worked. It was (mostly) fun to do and so it wasn't this huge task. Kind of like losing a lot of weight, if you focus on the fun you are having right now you don't have to see the workload that 100 pounds will be!

Camy
 
I think some good home cooking is called for upon occasion! Enjoy!

And hey, why not go for that body?? Seriously? If your body won't, then fine, but you can get as close as physically possible!
 
Thanks Anke,
I am totally going to try!
Went shopping yesterday, clothes shopping that is, because my mom likes to buy me clothes and who am I to take from her happiness? First store was a total bust, nothing that looked good and the trouser size I needed made me very unhappy, but then the second store was great.
I bought 3 bras (I have gone down from a DD to a B cup! But one of my boobies is way bigger than the other...:(), one underpant matching one of the bras (size S), and then 2 T shirts (one M one S), one pair of super short jean shorts, and a shirt (a pink and orange, short sleeved shirt). And socks.
I wanted a new bikini (the dreamkini still fits but is a big big on my bottom, plus I just think a girl should have more than just 1 bikini if she lives somewhere where she goes to the beach almost every week), but couldn't find one I liked.

Yesterday food... hmm...
breakfast: 200 ml of ACE juice
Lunch: lentils and potatoe stew, 1 and a half sausages
Dinner: 200 ml coke, half a portion of chunky fries with alioli, 1 small magnum ice cream

(yes not exactly the best choices for dinner, but at least I didn't have proper dinner on top of all that snacking!)

Today's food:
Breakfast: 200 ml ACE juice, 3 GF biscuits
Lunch: potato and bean salad
Dinner: popcorn (my bro and I are going to see wolverine today), green salad

In 10 days I can resume my exercise routine, it is rainy season now so I can't fully rely on just swimming, I will swim whenever possible and go to the gym the other days, do 45 minutes of cardio and maybe 30 minutes of weights a few times a week (hopefully 3 times a week plus 2 times of swimming a week). I have never done weights before but everybody thinks they are so important, so I will give it a shot!
I really really really want to be hot hot HOT for the Maldives. And I am willing to work hard for it!
Camy
 
Definitely add weights/strength training into your routine. The week I started adding them, I dropped 8 pounds in one week! It was crazy.
 
Hmmm, interesting ymcachick... I'm waiting til my 25km race is over and done with, then I'll be embarking on my own strength training mission! Going to work out a routine and all... like one I could do at home or at gym (obviously I'll do more exercises I can't do at home while I'm at the gym).

I am going to take a before picture, like, totally naked from all sides, and then compare in 4 weeks to a new picture :)

I love progress :D
 
That sounds like something I want ymcachick!! Also I would like to be more defined, but at the same time I have to admit that I am a tad scared of becoming really muscular, which I so do not like in a woman! Thin with some definition (like Kate ;)) GOOD, too much definition (or too thin with too much definition as in Madonna)... not so good!
But I guess losing definition won't be a problem ;)!!

I weigehd myself and I still weigh the same as when I arrived so that is good (I eat so much here) I was not expecting a weight loss in fact I expected a weight gain while on holidays. It is really funny because at 160 I thought that was my "natural" weight that I gravitated to when I ate without "dieting", then I changed my lifestyle and thought that actually 145 was my "natural weight". Then again at 130 I thought that was my "natural weight". Everytime I lose and make adjustments my natural weight resets itself, so hopefully in the end my "natural" weight will be reset at 115 and I will need to be less conscious of what I eat.
I am planning upon my return to the first world (in october hopefully, still not confirmed) to dance at least 4 times a week, contemporary and street dance I guess (each twice a week). I would like to be thin by the time I start because dance studios well they have a LOT of mirrors, ;)! Plus if I am thin I am sure I can dance better! And it will help me big time when trying to maintain my weight!

Anyhow:
Food of the day:
Breakfast: 250 ml of ACE juice, 2 slices of ham
Lunch: grilled squid, salad
Dinner: green salad with asparagus

My two close friends from london are coming to visit so we will walk walk walk this weekend. And eat a lot of local specialties. yum!
Camy
 
Walked like 7 or 8 k a day for the past 2 days, ate a lot and not exactly the most healthy of foods either, but I think I am doing ok, making up for it exercising like crazy!

Camy
 
:cuss: you are thin, you silly girl!!! (In my opinion, once under the maximum healthy BMI, you are a skinny biatch!!!)

No problem with tweaking your body to suit you now, but NOW WAY can you let those few measly pounds stop you from dancing... maybe the dancing is just what you need to finally shape the last bit up!!!

Positivity!!!!
 
Thank you Anke,
I still feel fat, not hugely fat, but I do not feel thin. I see a chubby person in the mirror, I see a muffin top when I look down at my waistline, I see fat between my upper thighs when I look at my legs. I think it will need a) more toning, b) more weightloss and c) a change of attitude on my part, to be the thin person I know I can be.
Today I went to exchange a t shirt, the M was too big on me, but whilst there I tried on some other S shirts and they did not fit (too small), so it really depends on the make!

Today's food:
Breakfast: tea, some juice, biscuits
Lunch: chicken and veggies, guacamole, lettuce
Snack: coffee and ice cream (yum)
Dinner: salad

As said, not ideal foodwise lately, but not too bad either!
Camy
 
So today was a lazy day!
Went to the ophthalmologist and got my pupils dilated, then lay on the sofa for the rest of the afternoon practically! I am hoping to get laser eye surgery in September, my insurance just let me know they would cover it (I have really bad eyesight, -5 and -3, plus astigmatism), so I had my initial check up. I don't tolerate contacts, I used them for like 7 years and then suddenly couldn't tolerate them anymore, so if I can't have surgery I am contricted to glasses for the rest of my life.
So the good news is my cornea is fat enough to operate on (thin corneas can't be operated on, so yey for one fatty bit on me!!!!), the bad news is my astigmatism seems to be still getting worse. They will need to run some more tests on thursday to see if that really is the case, and if not I am clear for surgery in september! Woohoo!

I can't really wrap my head around how lucky I am, with some (ok maybe a lot) of luck and some effort I can start the next part of my life as a thin happy and positive person, with perfect eyesight in october. 22 months before that I was depressed, tired of being a very unhappy, overweight, ugly, halfblind person!! ;)!

Food of the day:
Breakfast: 4 gluten free oreos (they are about half the size of real oreos but I think they taste just like the real deal)
Lunch: 2 eggs, cooked on a mattress of green peas in tomato sauce with some ham
Snack: another 2 oreos, some juice, some ice tea
Dinner: a giant salad with chicken probably (going out but I have already chosen in my head!)

Camy
 
You are doing great!

Sorry I haven't read your whole diary (man these things get big don't they!!! LOL ) but where abouts are you currently? and where are you normally?
 
Since yesterday I have a HUGE hunger, as in not controllable and when I should not be hungry at all! An hour or two after eating I am starving, like hunger pains, etc.. crazy!
I am eating so much too... craaaaaaaaaaazy!
Anyhow I met up with 2 girls from my old high school today, they are both on the chunky side (both definitely bigger than me, yey!), but they were never teeny tiny either. They saw me and both said "wow you look just the same as always... haven't changed a thing!" (saw them last when I was 17 or 18, I am 24 now) I don't know if this is positive or not... I mean I guess at least I don't look old or anything, but my last year of school definitely not my best looking year ;)! Plus I am a tad thinner now (about 5 or 10 pounds). Oh well, we had lunch together.

Food of the day:
Breakfast: 200 ml juice, 4 small oreos
Lunch: some potato thingie, half a portion of chicken korma, tea
Snack: ice cream
Dinner: hamburger in gluten free bread (first hamburger in over 2 years!!!), some french fries (all homemade, burger and fries), salad

Walked a good 5 k today, with those girls from school and then with my sissy and I was carrying a very heavy birthday gift for my dad! My arms are a bit sore!!
Camy
 
Thank you wishes and Anke for visiting!

Went to my second eye appointment, don't know the results yet BUT I do know that I am definitely going to my graduation party on september 11th so that is my definite deadline to weigh 115. It is very doable, but I have to work hard for it, because I tend to be lazy and just say: oh well, I am already looking nice. But I really really want to look awesome in my pictures, these are pictures that will hang on walls forever. And I want to be able to have last time's pics and this time's pics as before and after pictures!!!

Weighed myself today (postbreakfast) and I am still the same. Phew!
Food of the day:
Breakfast: 200 ml of juice, 2 oreos
Lunch: half a hamburger patty, salad
Snack: 1 apple
Dinner: japanese (it's my daddy's birthday, woohoo!)

Camy
 
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