bluehats diary

[bluehat]

I´m sorry you struggled today. Having to deal with diabetes, lactose intolerance (I assume?) and a tight budget is hard enough without having to deal with an overly sensitive stomach. How does your stomach react to binges if you don´t mind me asking? I used to watch a British show where they´d have an overweight person and an underweight person swap meals for a couple of days and the underweight people often felt pretty sick at first because their stomachs had got so used to eating tiny amounts but as far as I can remember they all got used to decent meals again so I hope and expect your body to be able to do the same. As I said before: big changes take time and often several tries to get it right.

yep so most of my dairy has to be cheeses
or its bathroom trips multiple times (lactose intolerance)
and i know there are pills to help that but i dont like
milk and its products much so its not worth it

my stomach feels full, swollen and painful
after binges and it starts past 2 cups and a binge is
a heck of alot more than that
its embarassing that i binge and i feel awful and a pig and so on
but hiding it and not being open doesnt help
but im glad to have gotten help for the purging it
its just that now its hurts alot
and i know no one puts the food in my mouth
and i keep buying food even my normal groceries
and then i feel a binge coming so i either eat all
the food or throw it all away
its an awful cycle
so i have given up on weight loss
i just have a goal to get thru each day without binging

 

[Llama]

Getting through each day without binging is a great goal. Not purging is great progress. The cruel thing about binge type disorders is that food is a thing we MUST deal with. Nobody expects an ex-alcoholic to run a bar or a drug addict to work in an apothecary but we all HAVE to buy and consume food everyday and controlling the amount with only willpower to aid you is hard. Which is why you deserve respect for every day you do manage it and kindness for the days you don´t.
I like the sound of that pea soup meal you mentioned. Sounds quite balanced to me. I hope you have a pleasant day today.

 

[bluehat]

today was
2 take out hamburgers
2 onion rings
1/2 choc. bar

and no binge

alot of carbs
hence alot of insulin
even for so called normal foods

but sometimes taste helps

maybe sunday see if i lost any
weight even tho its not a goal

 

[Llama]

Needing insulin isn't fun but it's always better to take the insulin and keep your body healthy than to pretend nothing's happening. While I agree that today's food was unhealthy it's a LOT better than binging and if the occasional unhealthy food day helps you not to feel deprived that is a good thing.

 

[bluehat]

cashews
chickpea salad
pea soup

no binge

maybe tomorrow will bring something different

 

[E.M.]

Hi bluehat,
with little steps we make big things. I think this is your 4th no binge day ( if I got it right ) and congratulations you did it so well. As LaMaria said unhealthy food is bad, but it makes us happy, so its okay sometimes to "cheat". The most important thing is that you feel good and happy

Wish you a happy day

 

[Llama]

Your food sounds quite nice again. And another day without binging! Have you got any nice things planned to reward yourself when you're doing well? A week of no binging gets an extra-nice bath bomb or a foot massage after a Youtube tutorial or something like that?

 

[bluehat]

cashews again
mini sausages
whole wheat kd made with no milk just butter
1 meatball and 1 cookie at a holiday gathering

no binge

the hardest was taking a plate of the yummy foods
to a disabled neighbour unable to attend but i resisted
except 1 meatball and 1 cookie
and the neighbour was very happy and surprised
and their happiness made me happy too

 

[bluehat]

Your food sounds quite nice again. And another day without binging! Have you got any nice things planned to reward yourself when you're doing well? A week of no binging gets an extra-nice bath bomb or a foot massage after a Youtube tutorial or something like that?

i hadnt thought of a reward
maybe i might just plan somethng

 

[bluehat]

Hi bluehat,
with little steps we make big things. I think this is your 4th no binge day ( if I got it right ) and congratulations you did it so well. As LaMaria said unhealthy food is bad, but it makes us happy, so its okay sometimes to "cheat". The most important thing is that you feel good and happy

Wish you a happy day

thankyou so much

 

[bluehat]

Your food sounds quite nice again. And another day without binging! Have you got any nice things planned to reward yourself when you're doing well? A week of no binging gets an extra-nice bath bomb or a foot massage after a Youtube tutorial or something like that?

thankyou for the really nice daily encouragement
its nice that you take time to

 

[Cate]

Every day that you get through the day without binging take a moment to tell yourself that you did well, because you did. We worry so much about the big things, but I think everything should be celebrated. Well done!

 

[Llama]

thankyou for the really nice daily encouragement
its nice that you take time to

Happy to. We want you to succeed and feel better
Well done staying the course despite not only going to a holiday gathering but picking out and carrying with you a plate full of goodies!

 

[bluehat]

cashews
whole wheat kd
corn beef

no binge

no weight lost
but not surprised either

ive been trying to lose weight
and get to the healthy recommended weight
for 38 years
DIETING does NOT work
and if you do manage
statistics and research show very few keep it off
why do i continue to try?

 

[bluehat]

Every day that you get through the day without binging take a moment to tell yourself that you did well, because you did. We worry so much about the big things, but I think everything should be celebrated. Well done!

thanks so much

 

[Llama]

ive been trying to lose weight
and get to the healthy recommended weight
for 38 years
DIETING does NOT work
and if you do manage
statistics and research show very few keep it off
why do i continue to try?

Because binging makes you feel awful. This isn't about becoming thin, it's about finding a way to feel better. To move more easily, to feel more confident and to treat yourself like you would a beloved friend.

 

[Cate]

with what LaMa said.....
Because you deserve to be healthy xoxo

 

[bluehat]

2 hamburgs
2 onion rings

chocolate binge
i guess it was time

i believe im into the 2nd week now
didnt get thru the whole week
binge free but a few days are
better than none

aiming for more protein tomorrow
in hopes of more being full and
maybe prevent the next binge
i can hope i guess

 

[bluehat]

2 hamburgs
2 onion rings

chocolate binge
i guess it was time

i believe im into the 2nd week now
didnt get thru the whole week
binge free but a few days are
better than none

aiming for more protein tomorrow
in hopes of more being full and
maybe prevent the next binge
i can hope i guess

and one of the difficulties is
cooking food at home
im unable to keep any food
in my place
due to binging or throwing
it all away to prevent a binge
so daily shopping becomes hard
sometimes just eating out is easier

 

[Llama]

For me it helps to only have stuff at home that either doesn't make me want to eat huge amounts in the first place (or where it doesn't matter if I do, like fruit and veg) or which needs some kind of prep step. Like I may eat a lot of potatoes in one sitting but they take long enough to prepare that I won't get out out of control. Your mileage may vary, of course, but who knows. Glad to see you're still around and sticking with your plan despite the setback.