Bellaryna's Journey

Curvie Girlie said:
You're very welcome, and I hope very sincerely that your MIL doesn't stress you out too badly--remember, laying out boundaries isn't rude, it's a good thing for both of you!
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I've decided that I am not going to run my life around hers anymore.
She is a very unhappy person. Always seeing the negative to EVERYTHING! You know the glass is half empty sorta person. Doesn't matter what it is she will always find the fault in it.
And since she has been here that is what has been happening to me. I have started to feel negative and even act negative. And that is sooooo not me.
I am the happy go lucky, fly by the seat of your pants, don't worry be happy friend that everyone loves!!
No More Negativity!!!
If she wants to interact with us she will just have to do it on our terms not hers.
She needs to get happy.
 
Bellaryna said:
She is a very unhappy person. Always seeing the negative to EVERYTHING! You know the glass is half empty sorta person. Doesn't matter what it is she will always find the fault in it.
And since she has been here that is what has been happening to me. I have started to feel negative and even act negative. And that is sooooo not me.
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It's really rough, and I feel ya on that one. On the one hand, I believe family comes first and I'll do anything for them. BUT! I am a very very lucky person because virtually all my family members are happy, healthy and positive--the only ones who weren't, in all honesty, were my dad and my paternal grandma, and they died in 2003 and 2006, respectively (R.I.P.). I miss them, I just reminded myself that they did indeed have issues with health and mental welfare. Ok Ok, on the other hand, no one should allow someone to get her down, at least not for TOO long--and you helped this woman, all the time! It's a shame she isn't introspective and open minded enough to see you for what you really are, and appreciate you (instead of criticizing the state of your house, when it was in disarray due to the lack of time on your part, due to catering to her).

It's a catch-22. I think the only way for it to be resolved is for her to change her attitude. Is she too frail to exercise?
 
Curvie Girlie said:
Is she too frail to exercise?
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No.
In fact she is extremely fit for being 74 years old. She doesn't look like she is much older than say......late 50's early 60's.
No one ever believes her when they find out how old she is.
The problem is that she allows herself to worry about everything. All the time.
So that she now has issues with her stomach. Which in turn causes her to not sleep at night. And she won't take her meds 'cuz she doesn't want to be addicted to them.
The thing is that there really isn't anything wrong with her tummy. I took her for an endoscopy last week and the doc was shocked to say the least that she was complaining her stomack bothered her. As there was NO DAMAGE what so ever.
So now it comes down to her having anxiety. And again she won't take her meds.
Which means that she actually does make herself sick to a degree since she only gets like 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Sometimes less than that.
Her doctor suggested that she go see a therapist but she says there is nothing wrong with her head. And that she doesn't need that. Only that they need to fix her tummy.
It is a never-ending visicious cycle.
I never knew that she was this negative until she moved here.
 
Curvie Girlie said:
She needs to read The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga, and start meditating. Trust me.
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I'll see if I can find it. At this point I would just about try anything for her.
I really want her to be happy. So that she can enjoy life. Enjoy having her family so close to her especially her grandchildren. These are her only grand kids that she has ever been this close to, miles wise. As all the rest of the family has pretty much given up.
Thanks Sweetie!
 
Glad to hear you and Gil are taking a firmer stance with MIL. Sounds like she needs it. People like her will continue to behave the same until they are forced to change. I hope she changes her tune, but the older they get, the more negative they seem to become..lol. I'm thinking of my grandma as I say this..lol.

That's great that the meds are working for you. I want my Bella to be happy. :hug2:

So no lunch in Shipshe for your b-day?? :D
 
bikinibound said:
That's great that the meds are working for you. I want my Bella to be happy. :hug2:

So no lunch in Shipshe for your b-day?? :D
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Thanks for the kind words. It really does feel good knowing that there are folks (even if I have never seen them in person unlike you :)) Who really do care.
Sure we can have lunch in Shipshe. Just better make sure that we go to a place that serves big salads! LOL
Besides wouldn't that be fun? I would get to see the "bump" :hurray:
 
Hi sweetie-pie! ;)

Best Wishes with the new changes. :hug2:

You hang in there and know we are all here to support you and care for ya!

Have A Goal Reachin' Day!! :hurray:

*smoochies*
 
Good luck hun! Its hard to ignore people when they are being that way... just keep ur chin up and continue to do what your doing! Look how much progress you have already made!


dont let downers get ya down!!!

:iagree:


see... ^ he agrees :) hehe
 
Bellaryna said:
Thanks for the kind words. It really does feel good knowing that there are folks (even if I have never seen them in person unlike you :)) Who really do care.
Sure we can have lunch in Shipshe. Just better make sure that we go to a place that serves big salads! LOL
Besides wouldn't that be fun? I would get to see the "bump" :hurray:
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Well, unless I pop overnight, there will be no "bump" by the 23rd..lol. I'll only be 14 weeks. Maybe we can meet up again in October. I imagine harvest time in Shipshe is really fun. I bet you can get good hot spiced apple cider. :)

Of course we care. You're very loveable and funny to boot. :D
 
I feel for ya as far as your in law(s) go.
My history with mine has been up and down, but mostly I feel like an outsider and that I am never good enough for their boy. I realize this is THEIR problem, and not mine. In my opinion, they are truly very sad and lonely people and I know there is nothing I can do make them feel better about themselves and have a better outlook on life. They are grandparents to my children and love them very much, and for that reason I know I will have to maintain a civil "relationship" with them, but nothing more.
 
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bikinibound said:
Well, unless I pop overnight, there will be no "bump" by the 23rd..lol. I'll only be 14 weeks. Maybe we can meet up again in October. I imagine harvest time in Shipshe is really fun. I bet you can get good hot spiced apple cider. :)

Of course we care. You're very loveable and funny to boot. :D
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Awww Shucks! :blush5:
And your right fall in Amish land is very, very beautiful.
Especially if we go back to the same place that we went this spring. They really do it up with the fall decorations.

No bump yet? Dang! I just love telling bumps hello! LOL :smilielol5::smilielol5:
 
hickgurltx said:
Hi sweetie-pie! ;)

Best Wishes with the new changes. :hug2:

You hang in there and know we are all here to support you and care for ya!

Have A Goal Reachin' Day!! :hurray:

*smoochies*
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Thanks Sweetie! Ya know the feelings are mutual. You hang in there too!

M_Marie said:
Good luck hun! Its hard to ignore people when they are being that way... just keep ur chin up and continue to do what your doing! Look how much progress you have already made!


dont let downers get ya down!!!

:iagree:


see... ^ he agrees :) hehe
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Thanks for popping :lurk5: in!
I have just resolved myself to the fact that she will most likely never change. So for me to be happy with myself and not stress out over stuff I just need to let her attitude roll of me like water off of a duck's back.

yarmiah said:
I feel for ya as far as your in law(s) go.
My history with mine has been up and down, but mostly I feel like an outsider and that I am never good enough for their boy. I realize this is THEIR problem, and not mine. In my opinion, they are truly very sad and lonely people and I know there is nothing I can do make them feel better about themselves and have a better outlook on life. They are grandparents to my children and love them very much, and for that reason I know I will have to maintain a civil "relationship" with them, but nothing more.
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That is exactly how I feel Yarm!
Except for me it's not so much that I am not good enough, it's more since I am not Puerto Rican. And I just don't get the culture and how everything "works".
Glad to know that there is someone who understands completely.
 
Well I am off to pick up MIL. She offered to watch the kids while I go to PowerCore class tonight. This will be good as she will get to see the kids but I won't have to mingle quite as much. I know that sounds rotten but for the time being until my meds take a complete hold I think it best to limit my time with her.
Looking forward to class tonight.
Especially since I totally caved today and had a doublecheeseburger and fries from the Arches.
Whenever Gil is gone I end up eating just awful.
I think it mostly stems from the fact that the kids don't eat hardly enough to warrent my making a whole meal.
So I end up eating here and there.
I plan to get on the elliptical tonight and see if I can't work that Cheeseburger to oblivion. :smash:
Weighed in this morning at the same as yesterday. So if I want to see a lower number than I am seriously going to need to get my booty moving.
Catch ya'll later.
 
Bellaryna said:
We have talked about the situation.
And we both have come to the conclusion that she basically needs to
A. either buy a car (which since I don't think she is going to stay she most likely won't)
B. buddy up with some of the old folks at her apartments and ask them for a ride now and then
or
C. use the free transit that they have for Seniors.
Why she never wants to use that free thing I don't know. I can only surmise that she doesn't want to have to wait on a stranger to take her places.
I don't know.

But I will tell you this.
On Sunday at church I cornered both her and my mom. And in quick fashion I asked mom if she would take MIL to her hospital appt that she had on Monday. When mom said yes I turned to MIL and said "That's okay with you right?"
She of course agreed.
She could hardly say no in front of my mom.
'Cuz then mom's feelings would be hurt.
So you know what I did yesterday.
NOTHING!!!! :hurray::hurray: LOL :smilielol5:
And it was great!!!
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You really don't think she's going to stay? That's too bad - well then there is nothing you can do right or wrong.
 
Bellaryna said:
I don't know.
I hadn't thought of it to much yet.
Definately not to DeBrand's though!!!! LOL :smilielol5:
I am just now getting back on track from falling off the wagon back on April.
Something cool like last time would be great.
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I don't know if I can pull off another one like last year!

I was thinking AppleBee's and Wally World. What do ya think?

;p JK!!
 
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