Becky's Diary!

misty22 said:
3 lbs? Well it could be a lot of factors, you're right! Let me know how the next weigh-in goes!

I ate a lot today myself, just thinking about some stuff depressed me, and I well...binged a bit on unhealthy foods. I feel like I let myself down because I'm dreading getting weighed tomorrow! But we shall see.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend Becky, let me know how all goes!
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Yup, 3 lbs. I ate better yesterday and today though. I'm gonna go for a run a few times this week too. I need to start doing that again.
 
Hey lovely lady,

Thanks so much for the message of support, you rock! I was so glad to see you on msn today because I havent seen u in forever, too bad I couldnt stick around to chat longer. Let me know how you've been!!
 
^ You're welcome honey. I hope you had a good birthday!

Mine is coming up on the 8th, three days away. I'm not looking forward to it.

I've been miserable a lot recently and after looking at Depression symptoms, it was scary to see that I am experiencing too many of them. I don't like it, but it's the only possible answer for how I feel. I need to do something now, cause if I don't, I'll have a terrible life.

I want a good life.

I still haven't gone for a run. I'm crying on the inside cause I'm trapped in a lazy body. I just can't do it. I want to talk to someone about it (a professional), but I've done it before and it sucked. They did nothing for me (obviousy, look where I am?).

I'll have to help myself.
 
Hey hun,

I'm sorry to hear that. Some days I feel I have problems with depression too...and at least going to someone (don't go to the same person) and talking about it may give you a better understanding of what you have to work with- more for yourself- so it doesn't matter as much if the other person doesn't help you.

Whatever the case, you know you have a support from me! Maybe you can get a support group meeting thing set up??

Let me know what you decide upon. xoxo
 
misty22 said:
Hey hun,

I'm sorry to hear that. Some days I feel I have problems with depression too...and at least going to someone (don't go to the same person) and talking about it may give you a better understanding of what you have to work with- more for yourself- so it doesn't matter as much if the other person doesn't help you.

Whatever the case, you know you have a support from me! Maybe you can get a support group meeting thing set up??

Let me know what you decide upon. xoxo
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Thanks honey :) I appreciate it.

I don't know what I'll do. I definitely know the cause of the problem and I can't do anything about it. Rejection from my family, constantly. It's my birthday tomorrow and they've not mentioned it (I always mention it first), and I had one surprise (I never have them on my birthday so I was very excited about it) and my mum told me it was a hair drier. She got me one for christmas. I guess she doesn't care enough to think about what I already have. She doesn't love me enough to put thought into it.

On a brighter note, and to make myself happier..
I ordered another moleskine yesterday so it should be here today. I'm gonna fill it up with just writing so I can look back on it and remember the bad times, and hopefully cherish the good times I'll be having in the future.

David bought me a tshirt and loads of other stuff and I have my birthday gifts from him right here for tomorrow morning. He's going out early (on the bus too! <3) for another gift for me even though I insisted not to. He's been so wonderful about my birthday because my parents aren't, and he's taking me back to Windermere (we went there for my 17th) to have a picnic!

I just want to be with David and away from here as much as possible.
 
Oh, I forgot. On the weight side of things, I went birthday clothes shopping and I discovered I'm now a size 12 UK! I've gone from 16 (shameful) to a 12 in four months. I feel really good about that.

I ate well today.
 
^ Thank you so much! That's very sweet. I had a brilliant day and this weekend was even better, I was taken to Lake Windermere in Cumbria just like last year! It was fab. :D

Thanks again!
 
Hey you,

Haven't heard from you in a while! What's been going on? Did you end up getting the tribal butterfly tattoo...and how is the weight loss coming along?

xoxo
 
^ I haven't got my tattoo yet. I chickened out :D I'll get it though. I want to experience other painful things first, like getting a brazilian wax, haha.

I've frozen with my weight loss. I'm at 10 stone 3 lbs (143) and I'm quite happy at the moment. I'm just enjoying the rest to be honest.

As soon as college starts, I'll be more active and I'll have a reason to be active, even though I have a reason now.. to be healthy. We'll see, though.
 
brazilians really aren't painful - least not if the waxer is experiences.. take an aspiriin before you go and make sure it's a good one you do go to and enjoy it :)
 
Becks, maybe you could get a small tattoo to start with? :)

As for being stuck- oh my God...I know how you feel. I've been stuck at 132-133 for a while myself. As long as you're happy and active, that is what matters. I'm sure the weight will come off once you start getting busier :) Just not let junk food beckon you!!
 
maleficent said:
brazilians really aren't painful - least not if the waxer is experiences.. take an aspiriin before you go and make sure it's a good one you do go to and enjoy it :)
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Enjoy it? Haha ouch! I couldn't. Spreading my legs in front of a stranger!? :O
I want to do it for the experience really.. sounds silly ey? I want to do everything at least once, and this is one of those things.

misty22 said:
Becks, maybe you could get a small tattoo to start with? :)

As for being stuck- oh my God...I know how you feel. I've been stuck at 132-133 for a while myself. As long as you're happy and active, that is what matters. I'm sure the weight will come off once you start getting busier :) Just not let junk food beckon you!!
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Heey thats a good idea. I'm not sure what I'd get though. I would like a LEO sign on my arm, or a symbol of the Leo sign.

I'm enrolling for Floristry at my college tomorrow so wish me luck! This is the next step for me in my life.

I've been reading Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway! - by Susan Jeffers. Very good book, and it's made me feel good about the little things.. but this enrolling thing is big (in my mind, in reality it's piss!), so this is a time for me to practice the little tips in the book to help me to face my fear. I know that afterwards I'll be pleased as punch, and as soon as I go to the college (it's a new campus for Floristry), and I'm settled, it'll be great!
 
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