Alligatorob's Diary

Lettuce is mostly crunchy water: it just isn't very satisfying as the main component of a meal. Remember: if you want to stay from the kitchen you can, no matter what that whiny, wheedling voice says. Don't even chat with the door to door salesman: there is no version of the universe in which that turns out beneficial for you. I know how hard it is, of course, but you are 100% right when you say that giving in today will just make staying strong tomorrow even harder.
 
you are 100% right when you say that giving in today will just make staying strong tomorrow even harder.
For sure, now I just have to take it to heart...
 
Made it through the day ok, I did have 2 cookies after dinner, but that was far short of a binge, and my calories for the day weren't bad. Also go some exercise and I feel good tonight. Will try for similar tomorrow.
Remember: if you want to stay from the kitchen you can, no matter what that whiny, wheedling voice says. Don't even chat with the door to door salesman: there is no version of the universe in which that turns out beneficial for you.
Thanks Llama, and intellectually I know you are right, but at the moment my mind can play tricks. Rationalize that its only one or once and in the long run won't matter, that kind of thing. One thing I have noticed is that when I binge I do not usually feel physically bad, and sometimes better afterwards. Another rationalization...
Lettuce is mostly crunchy water: it just isn't very satisfying as the main component of a meal.
The lettuce just isn't filling.
I know, but being filling doesn't stop my wanting to binge. Any time I eat anything I want more, as I have said before it is easier not to eat than to stop... no matter what or how much I eat...
My version of being nasty will be-
Oh, Rob! :svengo:
Terrifying!!
Free Calorie Counter, Diet & Exercise Journal _ MyFitnessPal.jpg
 
intellectually I know you are right, but at the moment my mind can play tricks. Rationalize that its only one or once and in the long run won't matter
One cookie doesn't matter - one binge does. I do understand what tou say with wanting to keep eating whenever you start. Thankfully for me it's only so with sweets but omg can it be difficult. With sweets for me it helps to add water and fiber (like you do with the lettuce only for sweets fruit help more), as well as something creamy (currently yogurt) to make it more satisfying while diluting the addictive effects. I wonder what could help you in a similar way. Eating slowly/chewing more, maybe? I'm sure you already drink a large glass of water 20 minutes before your meals. Maybe a 5-minute relaxation exercise before or after eating to ground yourself?
 
Today was not a bad day, kind of hard food wise but I think I did ok. Went out for a mid afternoon meal at a Japanese Restaurant, did not get things I could get much of a calorie estimate on, so I could easily be several hundred calories off, but I did not binge! It was one of those places where you sat around the grill and the Chef cooked things for you, good food but a better show. For an appetizer we had something called "monkey brains", it was mostly avocado with some tuna and crab and other identifiables, no actual monkey parts... The rest of the meal wasn't much better. I ate all of the calamari and veggies I got and a little of the other stuff. Nothing battered or deep fried. I also have a little saki, did not drink it all.

Otherwise I did not eat many calories today, and I got some good exercise. Feel good tonight, so all is well.
Prepare to be terrified 🤣
Now you have me worried...
One cookie doesn't matter - one binge does.
Well said, but I probably should try to avoid the one cookie, reduces the risk of a binge. Today was interesting, by about 3:30 pm I had only eaten something over 300 calories, then had the big meal. No problems being binge tempted until after the big meal. Got by though, that's what's important.
With sweets for me it helps to add water and fiber (like you do with the lettuce only for sweets fruit help more), as well as something creamy (currently yogurt) to make it more satisfying while diluting the addictive effects. I wonder what could help you in a similar way. Eating slowly/chewing more, maybe? I'm sure you already drink a large glass of water 20 minutes before your meals. Maybe a 5-minute relaxation exercise before or after eating to ground yourself?
All good ideas, thanks Llama.
Free Calorie Counter, Diet & Exercise Journal _ MyFitnessPal.jpg
 
I'm sure the calories in that one meal are inconsequential compared to a binge. Even if it was 2000 kcal (and omg I feel sock just thinking about 2000 kcal of actual food, even though a binge that size would be a cakewalk) that's still not going to matter unless you have it weekly.
 
Today was a good day, I ate well, exercised and feel good tonight. Was able to manage the binge urges... today anyway. I guess that's all I can expect.

Its snowing tonight, I am getting really tired of snow, at this point we have a near record snowpack in the mountains, even if it were to stop today we'd have lots of water and flooding. If it keeps up at this rate we could end up with record snowfall and record floods. Drove up the mountains, about 10 minutes from the house, the snow along side the road was ~5 ft deep, I know its a lot deeper further into the mountains. Got about another month of snow, on average our snowpack peaks in early April and then begins to melt. We are in a desert and depend on that snowpack for our drinking and irrigation water.
I'm sure the calories in that one meal are inconsequential compared to a binge. Even if it was 2000 kcal (and omg I feel sock just thinking about 2000 kcal of actual food, even though a binge that size would be a cakewalk) that's still not going to matter unless you have it weekly.
The meal was under 2,000 calories I am pretty sure, but my calorie count for the day might have been that high... never know. I agree for me a 2,000 calorie binge could easily and literally be a "cake walk", I know I've eaten a lot more cake than that... but not today!Free Calorie Counter, Diet & Exercise Journal _ MyFitnessPal.jpg
 
Not today is all that matters. Record flooding doesn't sound good but I guess any aquifers in the area could use a bit of topping up and I assume that only happens in extreme years if you live in a desert.
 
Not a good food day, I binged. Did not want to post, but I know I should. Oh well, on to tomorrow
Not today is all that matters.
You are right of course, wish I could say that today.
Record flooding doesn't sound good but I guess any aquifers in the area could use a bit of topping up and I assume that only happens in extreme years if you live in a desert.
Our aquifers and reservoirs need a lot more than a "bit of topping up". Depending on who you listen to we are in the worst drought in between 500 and 1,200 years. https://www.tribunewired.com/2023/02/15/colorado-river-drought-water-shortage-crisis-lake-powell-lake-mead/ One wet year won't hurt, but we need a bunch of them. I think the long term trend is continued drought.

The Great Salt Lake is the remnant of the pleistocene Lake Bonneville, its the bottom of the Great Basin, half of Utah most of Nevada as well as a parts of California, Oregon, and Idaho drain into the Great Basin and the water just evaporates, no outlet to the ocean. The lake has been drying up and dropping for 15,000 years, so this is nothing new, its just us who are new. A continuation of the drought that began at the end of the last ice age.

If we did start getting more precipitation on a consistent basis Lake Bonneville would start to refill flooding Salt Lake City and probably 90% of the people who live here. Kind of a no win thing.

I live on what was until recently pretty close to the Great Salt Lake shoreline, now its dried and miles away. Five years ago I could still see it from here, but not now. The other half of Utah is mostly in the Colorado River drainage, Lake Powell is 90+% in Utah.
 
People don't belong anywhere. Not settled in houses at least. But here we are, way too many of us, pretending the world owes us continuity while we do our best to wreck it.

I'm glad you posted today regardless.
 
Only good things I can think to say is that yesterday was a good day, one in a row now, and I'm posting, again...
 

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I'm back on the struggle bus this week as well so I'm extra glad to see you back! Not letting other people down seems to work better for motivation than little details like health and happiness.
 
Today was a good day, that's 2 in a row now. I ate pretty well, exercised and feel fine tonight. Exercise was 90 min at the gym and a bit over an hour of aqua aerobics. I am trying the Noom app, first day. It will take some getting used to, I did calories both in my fitness pal and Noom, they came out a little lower in Noom. Exercise calories burned are as unreasonably high, for me anyway, as my fitness pal.
I'm back on the struggle bus this week as well so I'm extra glad to see you back!
Thanks Llama, and it really is good to see you! When I am off the wagon I have a real hard time posting here, but I still miss you and the others. "Struggle bus", I like it. Now lets try jumping off!
I'm glad you're back, Rob xo
Thanks Cate, I always miss you when I'm away, such a nice lady!

Now lets see if I can post my Noom food report. As I said I think the calories are low, pretty sure I was well over 1,200 calories. Apparently it does not show my exercise log.Image-1.jpg
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Wild salmon is not a green food? Does that mean green foods are only things a non-binger could eat uncounted amounts of?

I don't enjoy the struggle bus but it's better than being left on the curb. Not let's see if we can make it catch up to that wagon.
 
Three good days in a row now, ate well, exercised and feel good tonight. Did over 3 hours in the gym and it felt good. Day 2 of Noom, and I'm still adapting. I still believe it underestimates calories, but I will try not to worry about it. My problem has never been a few hundred calories here or there, its the several thousand calorie binges.

Today I tried to pay attention to my eating desires. Breakfast was ok, but I sure did want a couple of cookies after the cereal, but managed not to. Then I did not feel hungry for lunch at all finally at 2 I ate and then sure had a strong urge to keep eating. I felt a much stronger desire for food after eating. It seems to me that food doesn't satisfy me, but just primes me for more. It takes thousands of calories to finally stop my cravings... Oh well, I'm sure I've said the same thing over and over again...
Wild salmon is not a green food? Does that mean green foods are only things a non-binger could eat uncounted amounts of?
Have not fully figured out the color code thing, it seems to be based on calories per unit weight or something. Green foods have few calories per gram... maybe.
the struggle bus ... Not let's see if we can make it catch up to that wagon.
Sounds good to me!
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I felt a much stronger desire for food after eating. It seems to me that food doesn't satisfy me, but just primes me for more.
That's exactly how it works for me and sweets, but if it's only sweets you can dilute the effect by adding fiber- and/or water-rich things like fruit or yogurt. It would be so hard to have it with EVERY food. The only thing I could think of under those circumstances is having a rule of only eating with company or in public, because I never binge with other people around. A bit difficult to implement without starving for me...
 
I don't find cereal very satisfying. Do you add nuts & seeds and/or yoghurt to yours, Rob? When I do have it I add all of these things & also add some protein powder.
 
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