Alligatorob's Diary

[Cate]

Would soup or stew be better, Rob or an oven bake with lots of veg & fish & maybe cheese?

 

[alligatorob]

Not a bad day, but I did drink too much wine tonight. Most I have had in one night in a long time. Got in some good exercise and I feel fine tonight (might be the wine).

Maybe it just isn't the right time of year for salads and stews or pickles would be better?

I did get a good salad with lunch today, may try some cooked veggies soon. Squash would be good.

Bone broth is meant to be very good for you, so well done on that. And on the knee progress.

Thanks Emily, and I do like the bone broth protein. And my knee progress is slower than I'd like, but I am told better than it could be...

 

[Llama]

I dislike AA as much as the next person but don't reverse-listen to them!

 

[Cate]

Good to see you having salad again Rob.

 

[alligatorob]

Binged last night, chocolate... The only good thing was that thinking about having to record and post it here kept the binge to less than it could have been. Made it a little less fun...

I dislike AA as much as the next person but don't reverse-listen to them!

I think AA has helped a lot of people, and has some good to it. However I don't get a lot out of OA, the version for us...

Good to see you having salad again Rob.

Not yesterday, but I will try today...

 

[Llama]

Binges being less fun is a good thing! I somewhat regularly realize I don't even want a specific sweet unless it's in binge amounts. Guess that means I don't actually like the flavor of the sweet itself that much but rather the way my brain reacts to its combination of sugar and fat...

 

[Cate]

I never imagined that a binge could be fun.
Hope you get the taste for salads & veggies soon, Rob xo

 

[alligatorob]

Could have been a better food day, but no binge and calories were not awful. No gym today, but I did do a lot of work around the house, so some activity. Just remember I had a smallish glass of wine that did not get on my diary...

I somewhat regularly realize I don't even want a specific sweet unless it's in binge amounts. Guess that means I don't actually like the flavor of the sweet itself that much but rather the way my brain reacts to its combination of sugar and fat...

I always want sweets, no matter the amount. Can't say taste has nothing to do with my binges, when I can choose I will take something I like the taste of, but most anything will do... I sure know that reaction to fat and sugar...

I never imagined that a binge could be fun.

Maybe fun isn't quite the right word, but it is the feeling you get when you fulfill some primal urge. It is a kind of high...

 

[Cate]

Well done on no binge, Rob. I think I'm lucky in that I rarely crave sweets. Binge/overeating is usually triggered by annoyance for me & I don't feel high afterwards, just annoyed with myself. I think I just eat too much food in general & I do love wine. I certainly get good nutrition, which to me, is the most important thing.

 

[Llama]

Maybe fun isn't quite the right word, but it is the feeling you get when you fulfill some primal urge. It is a kind of high...

This exactly.

 

[alligatorob]

Well, I'm back after a week or so of not eating well, too many binges... Not sure what to do next, today was a good food day, maybe I need to do a 1,200 calorie a day 2 week kick start like I did in the beginning... One day into it now...

At least I am still exercising, that helps some, but I know it can't make up for bad eating.

Guess I'll weigh in tomorrow morning and see what damage I have done.

 

[Cate]

It sounds like a reset is a good idea, Rob. You seem to be an all-or-nothing kind of guy, so probably can do it. I would need G to be away for a couple of weeks to be able to, I think.

 

[Llama]

The binge aftermath sucks and it can make you feel so hopeless. Having to start over again and again sucks as well but not starting over is even worse. Way easier, but worse.

 

[alligatorob]

Today was a good day, ate fairly well sticking to my 1,200 cal kickstart, two days in a row!! And I exercised and feel good tonight.

It sounds like a reset is a good idea, Rob. You seem to be an all-or-nothing kind of guy, so probably can do it. I would need G to be away for a couple of weeks to be able to, I think.

Thanks Cate, but right now it feels more like grasping for anything that might work... You are right, I sure can be too "all-or-nothing"

The binge aftermath sucks and it can make you feel so hopeless. Having to start over again and again sucks as well but not starting over is even worse. Way easier, but worse.

Well put Llama, you'd think knowing that so well would keep us from bingeing, but, well you know...

 

[alligatorob]

Another good food day, three in a row! And I got a lot of exercise today, maybe too much. 2 hours in the gym, then 1 1/2 in PT and tonight I tried an aqua aerobics class, first for me. But I feel good tonight, not particularly tired.

I did not get home from aqua aerobics until 8 pm and I did not feel like eating, but I did... And sure enough after I ate a modest dinner I wanted more, it would have been easier to eat nothing... But I did alright.

 

[Llama]

Eating is definitely the healthier choice after that much exercise (I get ravenous after swimming especially) but I agree that sometimes not starting would be easier.

 

[Cate]

That is a lot of exercise with not much fuel. Well done on 3 good days, Rob!

 

[alligatorob]

A good day, four in a row now! Ate well, got good exercise, and I feel good tonight. Binge temptation is always there, but I got through today without it.

Eating is definitely the healthier choice after that much exercise (I get ravenous after swimming especially)

It probably was, I was feeling a bit weak, but not hungry until after I ate... When I was a kid I can remember getting ravenous after swimming. Not so much any more exercising kind of kills my hunger. However if I don't eat enough I do start to feel weak.

That is a lot of exercise with not much fuel. Well done on 3 good days, Rob!

Thanks Cate, and you are right. However I do have some fat stores to make up for it.

 

[Llama]

I know the feeling of exercising so much I go right past hunger and into weakness. Not nice at all even when you technically have the strategic reserves to deal with it

 

[alligatorob]

Five days in a row! Ate well, exercised and I feel fine tonight. I did my first yoga class since surgery, been avoiding it because of the kneeling. My knees hurt a bit but I got through it. Now I can reclaim my position as the one people can look to if they need to see someone less graceful than themselves, LOL. Since most of the people in the class are young fit women I tend to stand out a bit. However they are very nice to me so all is good.

I know the feeling of exercising so much I go right past hunger and into weakness. Not nice at all even when you technically have the strategic reserves to deal with it

You're right I know, and I don't like that weak feeling... Oh well, just muddling along.