AEL33107 Size 20 *Journal*

AEL33107

AEL33107

New member
Well i'm gonna start one of these even though I haven't done much but 30 mins of exercise. Well let's not lie that was hard as ever.. i dont think my heart has ever pumped so fast.

I'm not sure what I'm suppose to write here but I figured a little experience on how i'm feeling today and how I worked out so i can look back and see how it all has been changing.

I'm going to remain positive about this. Jason says if i want to lose the weight truely I have to be positive but be angry. Angry when i am working out, thinking of something i dont like and keep pushing to change it, and positive at the end of the day no matter how much or little i have done and tell myself to improve it tomorrow.

I dont remember running being so hard, and i HATE how my stomach has this HUGE roll at the bottom of it, so that is my angery thought while working out. focussing on that made me stop thinking for a little bit how much my legs wanted to break in half and how my chest felt like my heart was about to burst out from racing so fast.

Jason has been really good to me planning this out, he made up some small easy exercises that i know i can do that will get my heart racing and targetting different areas of my body. I love having my own personal trainer haha... married the right man my mother says.. and right now she's right! lol

I feel bad that i told him i didn't want him watching me work out to begin with or him doing it with me. I shouldn't want him to stay away but he's very fit and he can do like 3 times as much so when he says "your doing good" sorta makes me feel bad, not good. I'm in a pool of sweat and he's dry as ever.

But after time that will change I hope, not overnight but maybe in a couple months we can run together outside.. and maybe i can keep up! lol
 
May 6, 2007 The day after the Bridal Shower

First off avoiding temptation is hard. Fried foods, cheesecake, ice cream, chocolate, icing... oh my. That is how I felt yesterday at my soon to be sister's bridal shower. my mother in law kept saying "oh Amy just have a small slice, it's so good..." and me... sitting there with my salad and fruit slices.. saying "no thanks, i really shouldn't."

I felt like i was the only one in the room pushing food away, and not having a good time for the first 20-30 minutes.

Then i found a way out, HELP, VOLUNTEER.. DO SOMETHING!

So i helped give out refills on drinks, I insisted on being the one to write down who gave what to Amiee (my soon to be sister in law), and when everything was cooling down i put all her gifts in her truck, and then helped clean up the place. So i had a great time and i think if i went there with the mind frame of "get your mind off the food being served" I would never felt in a little fat corner in the first place.

Yay for me!!!! :D


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now here I am making cookies for nurse's week, ugh.. cookies... snickerdoodles... weakness.. but i will not give in!

On friday I will admit i took a bite out of a brownie the meat someone gave me chewed it up, and spit it into a napkin. Is that sad or what? DON'T GET ME WRONG IT WAS GOOD, but i just didn't want the extra calories, and she wasn't taking no for an answer.. so desperate measures!! hehe



I'm kinda just doing anything to keep myself busy today, awaiting tuesday for my ultrasound, and wednesday for the results. Okay want to avoid typing that stuff out for now, so i'm gonna go check on the cookies.

tata!
 
^ Don't give in, you can do it! Keep your mind on what you'll look like, how healty you'll be and how you'll feel when you're done!
 
Hey welcome aboard - the first and hardest thing is saying no and not giving into temptation - yah for you - excellent finding a way to not want to be eatign and to talke your mind off of the food...that was an excellent step!!!
 
Yea that's what I'm doing.. and tp prove it.. (like I need to prove something hahah)

I found this website it's like a vitural model of yourself... kinda cool



This is sorta me.. at least the weight now:

<embed src="http://home.mvm.com/pages/home/badge.swf?userid=prK1gk0tZo&viewid=0&hmax=257&sid=creatorsnippetmvmcorpo" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="119" height="298" name="badge" align="middle" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br><a href="http://www.mvm.com" target="_blank" style="position:relative;top:0px;left:0px;"><img src="http://home.mvm.com/images/link_mvm.gif" border="0" style="width:119px;height:18px;" /></a>

and here is what I will look like after 70 lbs.. well sorta.. my hair isn't that short hahaha!!

<embed src="http://home.mvm.com/pages/home/badge.swf?userid=d5jMBR4LVy&viewid=0&hmax=257&sid=creatorsnippetmvmcorpo" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="119" height="298" name="badge" align="middle" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br><a href="http://www.mvm.com" target="_blank" style="position:relative;top:0px;left:0px;"><img src="http://home.mvm.com/images/link_mvm.gif" border="0" style="width:119px;height:18px;" /></a>

Maybe i should take some real pictures like before then after.. blah the cold scary truth.. ick! hehe


okay those codes won't show up... but it was still cool to see how different the body looked.. lol and i put so much time making them i'm gonna post the codes.. lol
 
Gets my heart pumping

I just got back from my afternoon work out.. boy i was soo tired and glad the hour was over and now i'm just relaxing and somewhat wanting to go back out there.

Of course I brought my Ipod and listened to cheesey country music the whole time. At some point a kid came in the room to use the weights and I swear I scared him half to death.. and he shocked me!! Here i can speeding away on a bike, breathing as heavy as possible (which is the only thing i had left, about to fall off the thing), 2 and a half miles into the last machine... pushing for the 3 mile marker.. ugh.. and he comes in.. so i felt a lil weird.. only cause well i'm loud as ever grunting sometimes because of the pain..

I didn't stop i just nodded at him and went on pushing..


anyway.. yay it's over for today. Part of me feels that i want to go back out there ans do it again.... just to push a little further.. but the sane parft of me smacks myself and tells me i am nuts..

but i had a great night and i did do a little more than usual.... well heavier weights and 15 more jacks... so i think i did well..

and tomorrow is offical weights day.. oo what fun i have instore for myself...

omg.. my body is going to hate me.. hehe
 
Yay I got it to work.. sily Virtual Model

compositorcopy.jpg

compositor1copy.jpg


That's my current and my goal

This is wishful thinking.. when i get to 180 i'll decide if i really want to move on (you know these models look very thin for the weight..)
3copy.jpg


no idea how to make the picture actually show.... so if you are interested you can click on the images.

okay time to go run.. :p
 
I Hate My Body

yea that got my attention.... okay i'm just in a bad mood. On Tuesday I had my ultrasound of this lovely thyroid since my gyno noticed it was feeling swollen and it hurt. Not to mention i haven't had a period in months.. not that I was complaining about that, no monthly, no cramps, no angry sour piss poor attitude? I'm alll for it, believe me.

Well I got the ultrasound down, no biggy.... kinda hurt... well it was very painful actually, like hello my neck hurts Mister loser with the gel and the tool pushing on my skin, STOP PUSHING!!!!!!!

So after that 20 minutes of complete hell, Jason and I go to get the results at Dr. Hopper (my gyno), wonder funny smart almost brillant man. Okay so
normal thyroid is -0.46 to 4. something... i'm 58.... no not .58

58


So it's abnormal.. infact right now it's a complete waste of space and waste of weight. So now i'm taking some pills, hopefully it will work, but no wonder it's been hard to lose weight, well geee no wonder.. but i'm sick of excuses

and even though something is really wrong now i feel like it's an excuse.
so what have I been doing? pushing myself more, I dont care if i can't lose as much weight as the normal middle aged chunky woman next to me on the bike, i'm pedalling harder, pushing myself more, and completely breaking down at the thought that now i have changed my life, my eatting habits, my way of thinking and something has been put infront of me that I can't change. it's not as easy to just throw the piece of chocolate away, it's not as easy as just telling myself NO you just can't eat that anymore. It's just useless... a useless piece of crap in my body that isn't working.

Now i know these pills should help and I'm going to some stupid specialist on may 15th to see if this is going to help and what my options are, but it's completely unfair.

It's like I've been pushing a truck up the road, inch by inch fighting off urges of food, telling myself to keep going just keep exercising and it will come easier, you will see results, and then the truck stops moving. DEAD STOP.. so you go to look and see what is in it's way and it's a concrete unmoveable wall with the words.. too bad loser.. you aren't moving me alone.

Which is exactly what this is like, because it's not up to me anymore, it's if these pills will worth, what my options are, will this correct it, will it need to be taken out? who knows... not me.

So i'm upset, i'm not giving up i'm just upset that now that I've gotten over the fact that I can't eat certain foods, and i put myself on such a restrict exercise routine, that something in my body is not working right and is making this tougher and tougher.

I mean I'm still losing weight slowly, and I know once this is done and is back to normal I will lose a lot more, like the doctor said when everything is better you will basically just be able to step out of your old body and into a new lighter more healthy one.

I just don't want to look back when i reach my goal and think well all those months of taking pills really worked, i wanted to say I DID THIS, me with exercising and eatting right, and DETERMINATION! But now it's like I have to take the pills for my thyroid, but it also increases your metabolism.

Actually since mine isn't working i'm sure it's the right and only thing i can do..

I dunno this was a bunch of rambling, and i've lost track of thought. I'm just upset... and scared... and a little dissappointed. I know it's not my fault, it's like like i punched my throat over and over and broke the stupid thyroid.. although i was thinking if i punch the hell out of it now, will it knock some sense into it and have it start working again? blah...

first my heart.. now my thyroid... anything else I should add to the list of needless body parts that dont work right that just should be removed
 
Taebo

This morning has been great, yea i didn't lose as much weight as I wanted to this past week but I have been feeling stronger everyday and today I really showed myself something.

About a year ago i got Taebo tapes.. and i quit after 10 minutes, i just couldn't figure out the kicking punching and could never keep up. So i've been using them as a very short warm up and motivation, just listening to him when I am completely not wanting to work out.

Well this morning was no different.. except I decided to follow along with the tape. It was an advanced tape, so i was still completely not able to keep up with some of the moves, but i did the whole tape, and just kept trying and getting really interested with the moves.

Jason told me a great cardo would be to do punches and kicks to get warmed up, and I've done it feeling silly, but now i'm interested in Taebo. I think I'll start at the beginning of this set and work my way through it. I have come a lot further than I ever have before with weight lose and feeling better about my body everyday.

I need to get my measurments because my body feels so good but the scale hasnt moved very much. But I know it's working, my favorite pair of shorts slid off withoutany force!

Speaking of which This morning i went out to get the sunday paper, and i was kinda jogging there and back. Jogging because omg i had to use the bathroom like crazy. ugh Water... so i run inside, and sped to the bathroom. Thank god I made it! But what i noticed after I went was my pants (which i had to hold up while jogging) were still buttoned and zipped. I realized then that I just slipped them down and I pulled them up with ease.

Anyone have a belt I can borrow? Sadly I have one, and I won't be using that anytime soon, it's for my favorite pair of size 14 jeans... lol And i know i'm not anywhere close to that. But my size 20's are verrrry loose. now of course these are stretch jeans, so regular 20's probably wouldn't fall right off... but it's a start and Taebo is about to be back in my life again!
 
Oh yes one more thing not even a week of taking those pills my period is back, omg I shoudl be in soooo much pain (well i'm in pain, but not tooooo bad). I think that is why my weight hasn't been dropping like I was working for. But it's back... so i'm happy, which means these pills are working to some degree and hopefully it will make everything else work right as well.

I feel kinda silly now worring about everything like i did yesterday I was just soo angry with myself and my body I kinda freaked out. I was a little too emotical i think, which the doc said is gonna happen from time to time as i get better.

Yay for my period... just keep the cramps away.

okay I have to go run... my heartrate needs to get a bit faster before i'm happy for the day. you knwo next thing i'm gonna add is pilates i think. I dont know much about them and only do 3 things that are related to Pilates right now, maybe more reasearch.. ugh soon i think i'll have to change my 3 day work out routine. and organize better.. fun fun!!! seee ya in an hour or so!
 
Okay i'm back.. so i didn't run as much as i should have, i just kept getting cramps so i slowed down diudn't help much. so now i'm cooling down a bit and maybe i'll check out some new exercises to fill up some of my time.

i want a new ticker... i'm tired of seeing pies... hmmmm
 
much better!! :)

Okay i found the first tape of Taebo... it's ruined.. ugh.. and of course i dont have all of them, just 1 of the basic and all of the advanced... well i guess if i take it slow i can learn it all and catch up with them.

Anyway i'm going to do some research, will post so i have it bookmarked here for a quick link.
 
Pilates for beginners I read a few of them, and I'm sure some will take longer to get down then others, but it seems like a great way to pull something new in my workout.
 
Okay so I noticed there is a section to post before and current and after pictures.. well since i'm only 5 pounds into it, i took some pictures... and maybe i'll post them with some later pictures on that forum for right now, keeping them here may just be better for my somewhat anti-social self.

So here I am weighing in at 248 pounds
sizedmeside.jpg

Sizedme.jpg


Oo look i can see my tummy.. now that's just hawt, perfect example why i want to lose that tummy.. it sticks out!!!

Now I think I need to keep these clothes, even if they too get a lil big just so i can put them back on in lets say end of June and compare the difference. I better mark my calander.. during pictures will be posted again at End of June.
 
Okay i'm done with my exercising today. I love weekends when Jason works it allows me to just do whatever whenever... I have ran 2 1/2 miles, biked 1 mile, worked on pilates, did taebo tape twice (omg ouch) ran and side steped those stairs 8 times so 14x8= whatever, and of course i did my 40 crunches, 50 Jumping jacks, and 3 miles of knee highes. Well not all at once, This has been spread out. Infact i think i may have done some more.. but not sure, i've tried a couple clips of different utube links i saw, and saved the ones i want to cont doing for a slight change in workout.

I just love that even though it seems I wasted my day i got a lot personally done. Work out videos, exercising, posting on the forum, learning new things, researching and of course just having a great day off.

Anyway Today was just an awesome day and it's not even over.. but i think for now i'm done working out for the day. I need to do house work and finish unpacking 3 more boxes...


Everyone have a great Mother's Day I'll be around.
 
Measurements.

Okay so here they are.... omg i'm huge...53 inches? >.>

Bust area: 47 inches
Under Bust: 44 inches
Belly Button: 51 inches
Hips: 53 inches

Upper Arm L: 15 inches
Thigh L largest area 28
Calve Largest area 16.5

Upper Arm R:15.5 inches
Thigh R Largest area 26
Calve R Largest area 18

Do i look completely weird, my right thight is smaller than my left and my left calve is smaller than my right... ummm did i do this wrong? lol ugh lol


Well at least i finally posted it.. now to keep it up to date .. yay!
 
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God I love Dinner

Today was soooo long. This morning I was feeling like crap so i skipped breakast, brought celery to work for a snack which I thanked myself a hundred times for when it go to be 10am.

At lunch I had a almost never ending salad, with egg whites, peppers, lettuce, and some cheese. ohyea, 1/4 of a hotdog. I dont know why but I was so craving a hotdog.

Dinner tonight after my 30 min run, 20 minute bike, and 10-15 minutes of run jumping jacks, crunches, and knee highs challenge I had the most amazing salad.

Spinach, chicken, Low Carb Itlian dressing, part tomato, lil mushroom, anc a little bit of red peppers. oh and 4 small sliced cubes of cheese.
I actually wrote out the totals inside of just using the calulator, my brain is fried so i kept messing up.

Chicken 180 Calories (I cut it in half, it was HUGE so 90calories)
2 Cups of Spinach 10 calories, .5 carbs 2 fibers
Italian Dressing 60 calories 3 carbs
4 cubes of cheese 55 calories 1/2 carb
Mushrooms 15 calories 1/2 carbs
1/4 cup peppers (red) 18 calories 5 carbs
1/4 cup tomatoes 18 calories 2.2 carbs

So for dinner I have managed to eat 266 Calories and 11.7 Carbs

Think I did pretty good. Anyway I'm beat tired, have a lot of research and planning to do starting tomorrow, getting some awesome hints and tips from Perfect Thrill, Big Thanks Jessica and I need some serious shut eye.

Night!!!
 
Work out Partner... Thank you God!

Working out is tough, every morning, every evening.. it's been getting a bit annoying. Yesterday i forgot my Ipod at work.. and i'm not about to wait 45 min drive just to go there and get it. So Friday evening I was sooo bummed about working out without my music.

But God shows himself in many ways.
I get there, starting going and this very nice lady comes in, a little weird, very motivating, and turns out to be a lot of fun. So we were talking, then pushed ourselves for about 45 mins on the machines, and spoke some more during the cooldown and post workout stretch. She has some awesome goals and some great reason to lose the weight. Really was awesome.

So I went this morning, thinking about how boring it would be, and after my hour was almost over, in she comes. She told me she was completely not in the work out mood this morning and only pushed herself to come because she knew I would have pushed myself to work out if that is what I had planned. We didn't discuss last night coming this morning, but there we were, only dragging ourselves to these machines because the other person would have done it so we thought!

So we have decided to meet tomorrow morning at 5:30am, and get a little schedule going meeting both our needs just to have someone to work out with. This is sooo much fun!! I was there for another 40 minutes just because I wanted to give her some motivation until i was ready to scream.. When i left she was still there, and I hope to see her again tomorrow morning.

Like I said.. God really does come through when you need him most, I know he sees how hard I am working and sees how tough it is getting, and he has sent me someone to help me through the painful workouts. Thank you!!!!

Oh and tomorrow is weigh in day.. offical anyway.. I can't weight.. i feel like i'm 243... well... that's just wishful thinking lol
 
AEL33107 said:
Okay so here they are.... omg i'm huge...53 inches? >.>

Bust area: 47 inches
Under Bust: 44 inches
Belly Button: 51 inches
Hips: 53 inches

Upper Arm L: 15 inches
Thigh L largest area 28
Calve Largest area 16.5

Upper Arm R:15.5 inches
Thigh R Largest area 26
Calve R Largest area 18

Do i look completely weird, my right thight is smaller than my left and my left calve is smaller than my right... ummm did i do this wrong? lol ugh lol


Well at least i finally posted it.. now to keep it up to date .. yay!
Click to expand...


Okay so i got a new tape and it's cool so i had to update lol

Bust area: 46 (-1)
Under Bust: 41 1/2 (-2 1/2)
Belly Button: 50 (-1)
Hips: 50 (-3)

Upper Arm L: 16 (+1)
Thigh L largest area 27 (-1)
Calve Largest area 16 1/2 (same)

Upper Arm R:16 (+1/2)
Thigh R Largest area 27 1/2 (+1 1/2)
Calve R Largest area 17 1/2 (-1/2)

Looks like i've gone up in some areas and down in others... hmmm maybe some wasn't exact. oh well there's an update.. will do again in a couple weeks :)
 
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