A new me! (hopefully, with some help)

Sweetie, we ALL have bad days & we can't expect not to have them really. In a perfect world.....:angelsad2: ! It would be nice if we never had those "stuff your face because you're feeling grumpy" days. I have felt the same sweetie! Look at you though! What have you done? Committed to a regular run with a marathon runner! GO KATE!!! You have taken the bull by the horns sweets & are moving on. Proud of you! Mark sounds like such a sweetie. We're 2 very lucky women Kate, xoxo Cate
 
ADAY 226

Breakfast: 2 small slice of wholemeal toast with light spread and marmite (147 cals)
Lunch..................
Dinner: Chicken breast stuffed with light philly and garlic wrapped in 2 slices of bacon with salad and light salad cream (358 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, granola bar, 97 cal crisps, packet of snackajacks, 95 cal crisps, 2 glasses of red wine (790 cals)
Total calories = 1290 but i am really hungry right now and have had a few glasses of wine and am now home alone!!!!

Exercise: rest day.

I've had a really nice day. Bec's has just left after cutting and colouring my hair. it's midnight and i'm home alone, Mark and Jack are staying the 'night at the museum' with the drama group tonight!!!!!
I'll post about my day tomorrow.
Love to all
 
Hey Kate,

Glad you are back to your old (young) self! Congratulations on choosing the marathon goal...you go girl...make sure you train, train, train...I did that back in 1999...and I survived and was very proud (I still have my medal!) It was one of my lifetime goals and I did it...so far, 1 is enough!

You're doing great...very proud of you!

Sarah
 
AMorning :)

I lost 2lb!!!!!!! WTF! how did that happen??????? I wasn't even gonna weigh! I have reached 160lb which was my original target!!! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

Proper squealy excited today :)

Off for my sunday morning run in the drizzle in a bit.
 
Imso Happy for you Kate!!!!You actually did it~Managed to reach your target!!!!!!cause this was your 1st target!!!!!!!

You are one amazing determined woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell us how does it feel????Do you feel slm?or do you feel as before?do you look in the mirror and think "i look fantastic!!!" ?sometimes it takes more time to realize that you are slim!I am not going to ask how it has changed your mentality!that is SOOOO OBvious to all of us!it has done great!

Im really happy for you!!!!Have a lovely run and a lovely day!!!!
 
ADAY 227

Breakfast: 2 small slices of wholemeal toast with light spread and cheese slice
2nd breakfast: Same as above (454 cals)
Lunch............................
Dinner: Roast chicken, roast potato's, green beans, peas, brocolli and gravy (575 cals)
Snacks: Christmas cake!, banana cake!, granola bar, 3 coffee's and a biscuit (734 cals)
Total calories = 1763

Exercise: 5 mile run. doing 2 min walk/5 min run on the way up and run all the way back.

Yesterday.
We had a lovely lazy waking and getting up. Then i did something i really don't think i have every done before...........I shared a shower with Mark! No, nothing naughty, not really anyway, we were just silly really, it was fun. It made me think about my confidence level, i really didn't think about my body and 'wobbly' bits which was a really big step for me. I think the fact that Mark is loving my new body and and can't leave it alone has really boosted my confidence. Not that he wasn't all cuddly and tactile before but not like he is now, it's lovely. Real biggy for me :) :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

We didn't go downstairs for breakfast til well after 10!! :eek: how lazy is that!!!! We then did our usual saturday morning shop up town, in one shop, Mark was at the counter and i was looking at the newspapers when one of my patients came up to me and was gushing about how amazing i looked (i was fine with it :) ) then she went to go and as she got to the shop door she turned around and came back and asked how i did it and what exercise i did. It was really odd having people actually asking me for advice. I had forgotten to say on friday's post that someone did exactly the same thing to me at the supermarket, she even walked away and came back and started quizing me about what i had done too. They were both suprised that i had done it the 'proper' way of eating healthy and exercising!

I went into Barnstaple in the afternoon to get my glasses :eek: I was really nervous about getting them but the woman who makes sure they fit properly actually said to me 'ooh they look really good on you' :hurray: I don't know if she says that to everyone or whether she picked up on my nervousness but it really helped. I was really shocked at how much clearer my vision was with them so i kept them on. 'Come on Kate, you can do this!' As i was walking down the street i saw my mum and dad and i not joking here, i actually had to stand right in front of them for mum to recognise me!!!!! Mum normally comes round to ours for coffee at about midday on a sunday when i have just got back from my run and had a shower so i usually have my PJ's and dressing gown on and my hair is wet and tied up. When i saw them in town i was wearing glasses! My hair was down and straight and i was wearing make up, i had on knee high boots, thick black tights, knitted mini skirt and a really nice jumper. Mum just stared open mouthed at me, bless her :blush5: I thought she was gonna cry!!!! She said 'OMG you look.....oh i won't say anything......but I am so so proud of you' I thought i was gonna cry then :beating: That was a moment i will treasure for the rest of my life, it really is :)

Bec's came round in the evening and did my hair and we had a few glasses of red wine and a damn good catch up, it was lovely :)

Today
Mark and Jack stayed out all night last night so i had another lazy, strechy waking up in the bed all to my self.....bliss. I got up and weighed. I really was quite nervous about doing it, i had at one point decided not to but i woke up feeling like it would be ok, if that makes sence. I was totally blown away that i had lost at all let alone 2lb!!!!! And then i realised that i was now 160lb which was my first target!!!! OMG!!!!!!!
When i first started my diary i genuinely never ever thought i would be able to stick with this for more than a few days let alone actually reach a target i have set. I moved my target after christmas and kinda forgot about this one and it wasn't until i read Jess's post this morning that i really thought about the fact that i HAVE ACTUALLY BLOODY DONE IT!!!!!! I really can't put into words how totally blown away i am with that.

Our run this morning was awesome. We upped our interval run from 4 to 5 mins and it was definalty harder but we felt great when we were finished. I love my sunday mornng run and then coming home to a 2nd breakfast :) I jumped into the bath after breakfast and sat there thinking about everything i have acheived and how different i and my life is. Jess's comment really made me look at my progress and i lay there thinking about my journey and i am now gonna say something that i use to feel that i had no right to say.......I am really quite proud of my drive and determination!!! :blush5: I also have to say that there is no way that i would have ever done this without you!!!!!!! You have all completely changed my life and i really mean COMPLETELY, TOTALLY AND UTTERLY!!!!. You have dragged me out of my grumps, encouraged me when i'm struggling and got excited with me when i have been like an sqealy child...........You are totally fucking awesome and i love you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you :grouphug:

I think i need to get some more photo's taken :)

Anyway....
Cate I know we all get the grumps and i know we all get thru them but i use to be like that ALL the time before and it scares me, ya know. Luckly it didn't last too long and i didn't do any damamage foodwise so :hurray:
I still can't believe i had agreed to go running with 'wooffy' His name is Andrew but that is what everyone calls him. I am kinda looking forward to it but i am also really nervous. I keep having to tell myself 'you are not that person anymore, you can run and you don't look like a blob running anymore'
Yes, Mark is awesome :) We have been together for 22 years and he is my soulmate. As the years have gone by we have got closer and closer. I couldn't ask for a better person to grow old with :beating:

Sarah I'm not doing a full marathon!!! Omg i can't see me managing that. I am doing a half marathon. But you never know, maybe in a few years........

Size32 Cheers for stopping by and thank you for your lovely comments :) Oh, what's your name? If you don't mind me asking.

And finally Jess My darling girl, what can i say. You are the person that flicked the switch in my head that made me do this, YOU!!!! I will forever be grateful. Your wonderfully kind, encouraging words have changed my life. Look at what you gave me the courage to do. Love you :beating:
How do i feel? It is really mixed. Mentally i still see myself as fat but i know that will get better with time. I do still focus on my floppy flat boobs and my wrinkly stomach but i have been so fat all my life and i am 38 so i know it's my own fault and have to put up with it. I do see the massive difference and on the whole i'm really pleased. I still can't look in the mirror at my naked body and say 'i like that' but i don't think i ever will. I can stand in front of the mirror in my size 12 clothes and think 'you look quite nice' I have never ever thought that before, actually i didn't look at myself in the mirror if i could get away with it. The main thing that i love is my new found self confidence, Mark has noticed it and Mum too and they both love it. And yes, i do have my moments where it freaks me out but mostly i am blown away with how happy i am now.
Thank you so so much :grouphug:

I have written a bloody novel here so won't get chace to check out everyones diaries but will give it a go.
 
Congratulations Kate.!!!! 160!!! You did it girl!!! So proud of you!

:rotflmao:


You'll be so motivated to go the next 10...it will put us all to shame..you go girl!!


Sarah
 
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:


Aw Kate!!!!:grouphug::beating::eek:


Love u too!You deserve so much to be happy about your achievments cause you made it and fast , so determined , so focused!~I love your progress pics and the last one you pposted with the pretty dress with the WAIST BELT!!!but i love more the fact that you have changed inside and i know that from they way you write!So imagine how others are seeing this huge change in you that live next to you!!!

You pop up in my mind when i am working out and really want to stop!You make me want to continue this "marathon"of mine!I have showen you off to another friend of mine that wants to loose weight!!!!I am so glad to e-meet you!cause you are proof of succes story i read in magazines!I feel i am also a littlepart of your journey!Stealing some of the succes!!!!!


Ow im not really good expressing my feelings to others!It makesme feel akward confessing!!!!!But you made me get watery eyes i couldnt just pass it by!!!

I just hope you can manage after getting to your 2nd goal to come on here sometimes and tell us about your days and eating!Ok not everyday (dont want to be selfish!) but at least a couple of times a week!I was thinking "oh gosh if she doesnt come on here i;ll get her on FB!!!"

Love and kisses!!!Hope you having a GREAT day!!!
 
ADAY 228

Breakfast: 50g porridge and blueberries (201 cals)
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, 97 cal crisps and a yoghurt (331 cals)
Dinner: Chicken, oven chips and salad with light salad cream (366 cals)
Snacks: 3 coffee's, granola bar, 2 kiwi's and a ricecake (336 cals)
Total calories = 1234

Exercise: Rest day.

I'm bloody grumpy again!!!!!!!! Gggrrrrrrrrrrr. Only since about 4pm and i really think it's hormones. I have been fine all weekend and most of the day at work today but i started getting, what feels like, period pains at about 3pm but i still don't have my period. I just bloody wish it would come so i can get over this. It is doing my freaking head in now!!!!! I don't think it is a problem with my surgery cos it feels like the normal period pain i get. OK rant over :cuss: I'm not gonna say another word about it. :)

I had so many people mention my weight loss today and it really got a bit much, i started feeling awkward about it and it got to the point where i dreaded going to the waiting room to get another patient. I know that some of these people haven't seen me for 6 months or a year and we had a lot of 'check up's' in today. I feel so ungrateful but i really wish i didn't have to smile sweetly while they go on and on about it. I'm ranting again :cuss: , sorry :eek:

Ok onto happier things....uummmmm oh The girls at work sat and scoffed a packet of biscuits at lunchtime (that were 95 cals each!!!!!) and i had none :)
Everyone really liked my glasses :) and after a few hours i didn't notice i was wearing them most of the time :)

Mark :beerchug: Nice to meet you too. :) good luck with your journey mate!

Sarah Thank you sweetie :blush5: I still can't believe that i have managed to get this far. And you are right, i am sooooooooo gonna get rid of that last 10lb, reaching this first goal has really given me the motivation to get that last bit gone :hurray:

My darling Jess Thank you so so much for your beautifully kind words. You really made me blush :blush5: and then well up too :cry: :beating:
I am so pleased that i pop up in your mind when you wanna quit working out!!!!! I want you to think of me when you think about eating something that you know you will regret eating too. I want you to picture me (in my dress with the belt if you like) frowning at you and saying 'Jessica......now do you really want to eat that??????' YOU have got me to the size i never in my wildest dreams thought i would ever get too, or even thought i was worthy enough to get to and now i am going to do everything in my power to make sure that you get there too. I can be a hard arse bitch when i have to be my lovely so watch out :beating:
And finally sweetheart I am going nowhere!!!!!! I will be posting my diary every single day even when i am at maintenance. I know that i have to do it to keep this weight off. I know that i would become lazy and it would slowly creep back on. Also, you guys have totally changed my life......Totally!!!! So there is no way that i will leave you. I am going to be here for anyone who needs my help, advice, encouragement and, if needed a bloody good slap :eek: This forum is such a massive part of my life that i would be totally lost without it so you don't get rid of my that easily :)

Love and hugs to all :grouphug:
 
Wanted to jump in and join the rest of the thread in congratulating you on the amazing progress so far. Haven't read the entire thread but caught the beginning and the final couple pages.


You've come a heck of a long way from 219 in July so to be within 10 lbs of your goal weight is a fantastic accomplishment.
 
omg!!!I can just see you with your one arm on your skinny hips the other pointing at me like NO,NO looking at the biscuits im ready to eat~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!You made me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!

I know also that NO MORE DOGHNUTS ARE ALLOWED!!!!!!remember Ruth telling me off about biscuits aswell!!!!


Hope your periods come and that will be a relief.Nice to read that you are really ok with your glasses aswell.Do you have to wear them All day every day or just fo some hours?
 
Kate, I read your yesterday's diary post last night when I got back from seeing the Naturopath & I was really tired & got very emotional & couldn't think how to put how I felt. :beating: You touched a raw nerve. Almost everything you said resonated with me & it could have been me saying it. We have so many similar thoughts & experiences! I get really scared too about the lows but it's only because I have had the ups & downs for a lot longer (20yrs) that I KNOW that they do go. It's horrible at the time though. I wasn't suggesting anything about medication sweetie. I'd take it if it didn't have such adverse side effects with me. :) I'm the same with the mirror- clothes on I can say "not bad for an old girl" or "that looks nice"- even side on, but naked- NO WAY. I just see the floppy bits (sorry if TMI!) I don't think there are many women in the world who aren't overly critical of themselves. It's such a shame. My LH loved me no matter how big I was but I think they love what losing weight does to our confidence & self-esteem. I hope your period comes soon sweets & then you start to feel better. I'm so glad I don't have them any more, thanks to having to have a Hysterectomy at 42. Good riddance! It does not make you feel less of a woman that's for sure. Sending you lots and lots of love, xoxo Cate
 
Kate! Now it's my turn to say... I'm sorry I've been neglecting you :( I've been working real hard to keep my promise to post everyday, but that's all I've really had the time for :( I have been reading though and very proud of you so today I said no matter what I have to get on here and post!!


160 is so so exciting, and that is my goal so I am proper jealous!!! See there I go, stealing your language again! ;) Seeing your confidence and outlook change throughout your diary is so inspirational -- I absolutely loved reading about your day with Mark and all the little ways that your new body has made your everyday life better :) And you brought tears to my eyes when you talked about running into your mom, that is just cool. Reading about this little changes has really motivated me today :)


I'm sorry those grumps are still following you around-- but honestly woman, I have never heard someone complain so much about NOT getting her period AND getting showered with compliments!!!! hehe jk of course, I know that's particularly frustrating with the surgery, but enjoy those compliments dang it!! You worked hard for them!! Bask in their warm glow!! You're beautiful and sexy so own it, damn it!! ;) Ok, I'm down now. :)


Oh, and it's funny, but I am so terrified of the dentist, that flying halfway across the world to find a nice one actually sounds reasonable to me!! But it really does make me feel good to hear that there are people that care about their patients and not just there for the paycheck. Actually, when I had to have my wisdom teeth taken out, the oral surgeon told me that he could tell that I have something abnormal with my nerves, so the novacain doesn't work right and that I'd be better off going with general next time I have to have something done, fine with me, knock me the heck out!


Thank you, once again for the dose of inspiration, keep on rockin Kate!!
 
OMG KATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's SO AWESOME that you reached your original goal!!!!!!!! Um and only 10lbs to go!????????????? WOOHOO!!!!! :hurray::hurray:


So so so incredibly proud of you!!!!!!!!
 
ADAY 229

Breakfast: 50g porridge and blueberries (201 cals)
Lunch: Ham, lettuce and light mayo wholemeal sandwich, 97 cal crisps and a yoghurt (331 cals)
Dinner: 3 Strips of breaded chicken and salad with light ceaser dressing (286 cals)
Snacks: 4 coffee's!!, granola bar, ricecake, banana & 2 Thorntons chocolates!! 527 cals)
Total calories = 1345

Exercise: 15 min walk, 30 min run & 15 min on the cross trainer :)

I have been in a silly childish mood today :D And i have you guys to thank for that!!! I read your comments this morning while i had my breakfast and they totally made my day, they also made me blush,Rosie!!!! But thank you so so much they really put me in an awesome good mood for the day :)

Well, you guys all think that my Mark is just wonderful, and he is, except when it comes to valentines day!!!! As usual he forgot!!! I put his card and some cute little heart chocolates in his lunch box :) I even got Jack a card, it said on the front 'the best thing about me.........is you' I thought that was lovely cos he is the best thing about me, the fact that i made this awesome little (well not so little now!) person. I thought Jack would be embarassed etc but he gave me a hug and said 'aww thanks mum' :beating: I love my baby, he really is a sweetie :)
Rachel at work got a huge gorgeous bunch of flowers delivered from her husband :eek: so i then send Mark texts pretending to sulk. He got home from work while i was getting changed into my gym gear and he appeared with a card, a lovely bunch of flowers!!!!!! AND a big box of thorntons chocolates!!!!!!!! My favourite! :hurray: :hurray: Bless him, he is just the best :) All is forgiven lol. I had 2 of the chocs...sigh, they are just the yummiest.

At work today Rachel and i decided to give up something for lent (not that either of us are religious, we were just up for the challenge!!) Anyway, she is gonna give up sweets and i am gonna give up chocolate!!!!! So from next tuesday until good friday......no chocolate for me :svengo:

This is gonna make you giggle........I thought OMG Mark has just given me a box of chocolates and i have a week to eat them so i thought 'ok, i can work like a demon at the gym each evening and count the cals that i burn and eat them in chocolate'!!!!!!! So off i went to the gym......When i got back i ran up to Mark, stuck my arms in the air and shouted 'i burnt 680 cals so i can eat 10' Mark burst out laughing!!!!!

Still choc biscuits at work and i took some up for Rachel to have with her coffee and didn't have any myself :hurray:

Feelinggooder Hi :seeya: Thanks for checking out my diary and thank you sooooo much for your kind words. You're very sweet :) I will check out your diary when i get chance :)

Jess Yep i am definately gonna be on your case to make sure you get to where you want to be, just like you have done for me. I have taken up the position of 'your personal nag' :)
I have to wear my glasses all the time at work and for computer, tv, iPad and reading. So not all the time but most of it. To be honest my eyes feel weird when i am not wearing them, it is really obvious how much harder it is when i am not wearing them so i will probably wear them more often than not.

Cate We are so alike it's scary. I am so sorry if my post upset you my lovely :(
I too have floppy bits and wrinkly bits lol. You are right, i don't think i know anybody who is totally happy with themselves. I think it something i am working towards. Well, maybe not liking but i will settle for accepting.
Sending you lots of love and hugs cupcake :grouphug:

Rosie Don't apoligise for neglecting me, as long as you post on your diary then i wont nag you :) It's all good :) I love that you steal my language, that's so funny, it makes me wanna put really random stuff on to confuse you :)
Your post made me blush, laugh out loud and get all embarassed.......

160 is so so exciting, and that is my goal so I am proper jealous!!! See there I go, stealing your language again! ;) Seeing your confidence and outlook change throughout your diary is so inspirational -- I absolutely loved reading about your day with Mark and all the little ways that your new body has made your everyday life better :) And you brought tears to my eyes when you talked about running into your mom, that is just cool. Reading about this little changes has really motivated me today :)
= Blush
I'm sorry those grumps are still following you around-- but honestly woman, I have never heard someone complain so much about NOT getting her period AND getting showered with compliments!!!!
= Laugh out loud!!!!!!!!
but enjoy those compliments dang it!! You worked hard for them!! Bask in their warm glow!! You're beautiful and sexy so own it, damn it!! ;) Ok, I'm down now. :)
= total embarassment!!!! I was shouting 'shut up' at you lol
Thank you so much for your lovely lovely comments my sweet, you are a truely beautiful person :grouphug:

Lucy Thank you so much :blush5: You're a sweetie.
 
No need to apologise sweets. I was emotional, not upset. (It makes sense to me!) You are doing so well & you make me laugh, even when you're grumpy! I can picture you getting home from gym & saying you can now have 10 chocolates! Funny girl! :smilielol5:Accepting our new selves is good, but learning to love our new selves would be great! Let's both work hard on that one. We do deserve it, you know! :beerchug: xoxo Cate
 
It sounds like you had a great valentines day. woohoo. enjoy the chocolate while you can. mmm chocolate. Happy Valentines Day!
 
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