A new lease on life - Xenon's Diary :)

[Xenon1]

I always get so excited when you drop to a new low number, even if it only takes 0.1 to get to there!! Congratulations and have an awesome day my lovely!

Thx so much you beautiful thing

congrats on the weight loss. hopefully this means your plateau has been broken

i think that understanding how you use food is part of the battle. it's good that you recognize how you use it, because now you can work to change it. i know i eat when i am upset or bored. i hope your exams are going well (studying was ALWAYS a time that i seriously over-ate lol). keep up the good work. we're all behind ya.

I got all B's on my exams which really pisses me off, but at least I have been making A's all semester so I can still get a final A if I stick to it. I even missed an A on one exam by .9 lolol well I missed A's on all of them by small margins but it's still annoying! Especially when I know I can do better but juggling time has not been easy. Ah well moan moan complain complain I still got all B's and I can't change it Anyways thanks for asking Katie, all of that is definitely not directed at you, I'm just annoyed with myself for scoring so low.

hey Xenon, congrats on the weight loss for Feb - it is a real achievement, every lb off is a lb closer to your goal!!

Rethinking your relationship with food is a HUGE part of the battle - I used to eat when I was bored, upset, happy AND when I wa tackling somethign hard like exams or a tough day at work = I'd treat myself to "get through", I'd reward myself with a nice dinner if something had gone right, I'd comfort myself with nice food if I'd had a bad day, I'd snack if I had nothing to do and was mulching around. When I step back now and look at it...well, I had a food justification for pretty much ANY situation...so I must have been always eating which is why I got SO fat!

Conquor that relationship with food, or at least understand it enough to temper it, and you really are halfway there.

Good luck with the calc

WOW I think I usually do everything you have listed there lol. Got a "B" on the calc exam too lol

Ah well I'll mope around offline, I am seriously sleep deprived and having a migraine so I really should not be socializing -_- I'll come back later when I'm in a better mood.

Oh and down another .2 so at least the scale is moving in the right direction.

Take care everyone and I hope everyone is having a wonderful healthy day

 

[Xenon1]

In a much better mood now although still sleepy. I really have to find out what to do about this "inner void" thing. Now that food is not helping I just don't eat at all and I think that is probably part of what was causing my headache. It's totally crazy how a sudden discovery can change behavior. I have been eating for comfort for years and now I'm just blankly staring around when I need comfort LOL it's not sad really just a little funny. I think I'll try to fill that time and space with some little girly things I love like going shopping for lotions and bath stuff or painting my toenails etc even pedicures or something. I think I may also look into volunteering at the planetarium.

 

[Justina]

hey you...relationship with food...i really had to change mine too.
What helped me is to think of food as a "fuel" rather than "pleasure"....
Of course that doesnt mean that i dont enjoy eating. I still do.
I just think about what nutrients/minerals etc my body needs. So i can choose the indgredients - and can still prepare some nice yummy food.
It works most of the time.

Good luck lovely! hugs

 

[Tik]

Hey there!

Congrats on your loss! That's so exciting! All your hard work is paying off!

I think a lot of us have bad relationships with food..it's amazing that such a thing can connect with emotions...I think part of the work in losing weight is recognizing one uses food for other reasons than hunger, and that they need to change it. I know I'm a huge stress eater..

I think you're doing great! I love the idea of volunteering! And what an interesting place to do it! Sounds like it would be fun! It's important to make time for the stuff you love! It's so important to make sure you take care of yourself

 

[Xenon1]

Justina I like the way you think You are absolutely correct on even the most fundamental level! I've been trying to think of food as nutrition and teas as medicine But not only medicine when you are sick, even medicine to restore a better state of health.

Thanks so much Tik I really do need to take better care of myself, it's been challenging for me to take care of myself with the little one because I do not have much help. Even volunteering is something I would have to do some time from now when he is at school or something, but I can definitely prepare for it in the meantime

 

[katie0615]

you are working through your things. thats awesome. figuring out how you look at food and other ways to get comfort in your life is defintiely a good start. good luck.

 

[Sunflower2]

Hope you're having a great weekend hun! x

 

[Tik]

Hey!

I think we all need to take better care of ourselves- and heck girl, I can't imagine how hard it is with a kiddie around! I think you're doing fantastic, and as hard as it is focusing on yourself sometimes, you are doing a fantastic thing here!

I hope you have a great weekend!

You rock

 

[Xenon1]

Thanks so much Katie, Sunflower, and Tik I posted some good news yesterday, but then deleted it because I changed my mind, but now I changed it back again LOL It's a woman's prerogative My husband, son and I should be going to Europe this fall, so I have one more thing to be motivated to lose weight for I was trying to decide between there and Jamaica, but I think I'll go to Jamaica after my graduation next year That is also something I want to be slim for (graduation that is). Good news on the scales today, down 1.2lbs, hopefully next week will be even better. Hope everyone is doing well!


O and forgot to mention, I put this on today and was dancing all over the house It really felt so good to bellydance again

 

[Justina]

Xenon you are coming to Europe! YAY
thats great motivation - i know cos i m doing a shopping trip in April and i m hoping to buy a size smaller cloths!!!

Wow i didnt know you bellydanced!!! awesome - i used to do it too.. i have it in my gym - i might go to a class in the coming weeks...once i go under 205. i have dvds at home - but i m more motivated in a group - otherwise i sit down after 10 mins. lol.

Keep up the good job!

 

[morecowbell]

Wow! Great job on the weightloss!
I'm man enough to admit that I'm envious of your ability to lose weight It takes me a month to lose 1lb, so way to go!
Traveling abroad could be a great motivator, imagine all of the pictures that will be taken, lol!

 

[Verobc1]

Hey Xe

I totally know what you mean about the relation ship with food! In the past year I have been working so hard at it...I would use food as confort as reward or even passtime....Now I will eat only when hungry (well most of the time...still a work in progress). Also I know it's hard to find something healthy to replace that relationship with....one of my friends has traded food for wine....not the best. I used to love the threadmill back before I had kids and belonged to a gym. Now I will usually take my Ipod and dance...I am the silly person dancing alone in her kitchen lol but it takes my mind of food or stress or money....I just feel the music and the beat! I like your idea about doing the girly stuff I had started doing that last year...I should really get back to it!

Congrats on the loss so far...I know you can do it!

 

[Xenon1]

Keep up the good job!

Thanks Justina I am so excited for you! A shopping trip sounds so fantastic, maybe I should go to Jamaica and make my trip to Europe when I lose weight so I can turn it into a shopping trip as well So far I know that we are definitely going to France, and we're still debating on Switzerland and/or Italy.(I'm worried about men pinching my @$$ j/k)

I love bellydancing! I used to do it a lot more before I was pregnant, but since I've been pregnant this was my first real bellydance. I was even on the floor at one point. lol I've never tried bellydancing in a group before, but i definitely think it would be tons more fun than the DVD's--although dancing alone also has its appeal

Traveling abroad could be a great motivator, imagine all of the pictures that will be taken, lol!

OMG morecowbell...now I'm scared of the pictures -_- EEEeeeeeeevil! Well at least you're not envious of my ability to gain weight last year I was down to 251 and went back up to 275 in just a few months. lol

Hey Xe

I totally know what you mean about the relation ship with food! In the past year I have been working so hard at it...I would use food as confort as reward or even passtime....Now I will eat only when hungry (well most of the time...still a work in progress). Also I know it's hard to find something healthy to replace that relationship with....one of my friends has traded food for wine....not the best. I used to love the threadmill back before I had kids and belonged to a gym. Now I will usually take my Ipod and dance...I am the silly person dancing alone in her kitchen lol but it takes my mind of food or stress or money....I just feel the music and the beat! I like your idea about doing the girly stuff I had started doing that last year...I should really get back to it!

Congrats on the loss so far...I know you can do it!

Hi Veronique! Thanks so much! I think dancing alone is one of the best things to do! When I was single I used to do it all the time, nowadays I can dance when the little one is awake and roaming about, but I have to be mindful of where he is, so I can't go totally crazy. The bellydancing this weekend was so great, he stayed far enough away for me to be free in movement and I really felt the music and the beat as you said. Girly stuff really rocks I've been indulging in baths and nail polish this past week lol

 

[Justina]

Hey Xenon - i hope you are doing well!!
Italy shopping....you really have to be slim - Italains are tiny!!! my sister had problems when she came to visit me in Rome ( i used to live there for 5 months before) she is a size 8-10 US size - and some shops she had to ask for the biggest size!!!
of course there are the big chains too (but hey you can find them everywhere)
But Italy ROX!!! love it love it love it!! Go mad with pizza pasta and gelato (you can as you end up walking endlessly around the city)
& Switzerland is chocolate heaven
Anyway - good luck with deciding on your destination!
& keep up the good job!!!

 

[Tik]

AHHHH!! *pounce*
EUROPE TRIP!! OMG!!! That's fantastic!!
AHHH!!!!

I'm heading there for the first time in July!!!! We'll have to plan and give each other tips!!! You must be soo excited *hugs* and what a great reason to lose the weight!!!!

You're doing so great! And the belly dancing sounds like so much fun!! The way the move their bodies...wow! It is SOOO freaking sexy! LOL...If i tried to do that, i'm pretty sure I would look anything but sexy!! HAHAHA

happy week!! *hugs*

 

[katie0615]

i am sooo jealous. i want to go to europe! haha you are going to have a blast!! and defintiely can use it for motivation to hit a goal. lol

don't stop yourself from eating the delicious italian food though, please. lol i beg you. don't let the experience go to waste because of weight loss. hahahaha i think that would be a sin. lol i LOVE italian food. lol

oh... and... i also love dancing around the house when no one is home. excellent energy burner. haha glad you found a groove this past weekend

 

[Xenon1]

cannot focus!

My head is definitely not in the game! I do not know what it will take for me to focus and stick to my diet. I lose so much weight with this diet when I do it well, but I just keep cheating and cheating -_- it's like having the keys to open a door to a lifelong dream and just looking at it instead of doing something with it. I really don't know what it will take for me to focus...everyday I say I am going to stick with it and everyday I veer off track. I'm not depressed or angry at myself or anything (maybe I should be lol) but I just really need to get with the program and stop being so ....I want to say sappy but I need a better word for it. Maybe I don't want it bad enough. I don't know! I'll just keep trying until I get back in the groove I guess.

Hey Xenon - i hope you are doing well!!
Italy shopping....you really have to be slim - Italains are tiny!!! my sister had problems when she came to visit me in Rome ( i used to live there for 5 months before) she is a size 8-10 US size - and some shops she had to ask for the biggest size!!!
of course there are the big chains too (but hey you can find them everywhere)
But Italy ROX!!! love it love it love it!! Go mad with pizza pasta and gelato (you can as you end up walking endlessly around the city)
& Switzerland is chocolate heaven
Anyway - good luck with deciding on your destination!
& keep up the good job!!!

Maybe I should reward myself with a shopping trip to Italy when I reach goal then coz there is no way in heck my size *censored* is going to fit into a size 0 If I can stick with my diet, I think I might be able to lose a good amount of weight before fall, but I'll still be around 9-10 or 8...which is something i will welcome even if Italy doesn't The only thing I know about Switzerland is their reputation for chocolate and their discrete banking system lol

Thanks for the encouragement Justina

AHHHH!! *pounce*
EUROPE TRIP!! OMG!!! That's fantastic!!
AHHH!!!!

I'm heading there for the first time in July!!!! We'll have to plan and give each other tips!!! You must be soo excited *hugs* and what a great reason to lose the weight!!!!

You're doing so great! And the belly dancing sounds like so much fun!! The way the move their bodies...wow! It is SOOO freaking sexy! LOL...If i tried to do that, i'm pretty sure I would look anything but sexy!! HAHAHA

happy week!! *hugs*

OMG where are you going Tik? I mean what country?? I've only been to one country in Europe, and that is Spain. I'm pretty sure you could rock the hell out of bellydancing One thing I really love about bellydancing is the culture behind it, it is dancing by women for women--just tap into your inner sensuality feel the rhythm and move--and take a couple of bellydancing classes too, that helps haha

i am sooo jealous. i want to go to europe! haha you are going to have a blast!! and defintiely can use it for motivation to hit a goal. lol

don't stop yourself from eating the delicious italian food though, please. lol i beg you. don't let the experience go to waste because of weight loss. hahahaha i think that would be a sin. lol i LOVE italian food. lol

oh... and... i also love dancing around the house when no one is home. excellent energy burner. haha glad you found a groove this past weekend

Oh don't worry Katie, when I take this vacation, I'm taking it from weight loss as well I like the Italian food I've had here in the States, i can only imagine it's 10 times better in Italy. I used to work with a woman from italy and she used to bake all of the time, and everyone was crazy about the things she made. Glad to hear you love dancing around the house too--it's so liberating!

 

[luzdafuzz]

How exciting about Europe!!!!!!!!! I can't WAIT to travel. I'm hoping to get to Bali in Sept this year as that's about all I can afford... can't wait for that though

Bellydancing sounds fun! I can't imagine being coordinated enough to attempt it myself lol

 

[morecowbell]

My head is definitely not in the game! I do not know what it will take for me to focus and stick to my diet. I lose so much weight with this diet when I do it well, but I just keep cheating and cheating -_- it's like having the keys to open a door to a lifelong dream and just looking at it instead of doing something with it. I really don't know what it will take for me to focus...everyday I say I am going to stick with it and everyday I veer off track. I'm not depressed or angry at myself or anything (maybe I should be lol) but I just really need to get with the program and stop being so ....I want to say sappy but I need a better word for it. Maybe I don't want it bad enough. I don't know! I'll just keep trying until I get back in the groove I guess.
<snip>

I'm sorry to hear that you're having these problems... I really feel what you're talking about. I have the exact same feelings about exercise! One of the exercises that has helped me is to think back on the progress I've already made, and to imagine losing that progress (which I've done several times in the last few years). Struggling for three months to lose five pounds and then gaining it back in a week is a horrible feeling for me, and it's one of the only things that stops me from binging on fast food.

You really can do it! You have a great attitude, and that's the most important asset anyone on your journey can have.

 

[Xenon1]

How exciting about Europe!!!!!!!!! I can't WAIT to travel. I'm hoping to get to Bali in Sept this year as that's about all I can afford... can't wait for that though

Bellydancing sounds fun! I can't imagine being coordinated enough to attempt it myself lol

AIiiiiieeeeeee Bali! I wish it was me! lol I would much rather go to Bali than Europe, I have always wanted to go to Indonesia. I really hope you get to go and you absolutely HAVE to post pictures when you come back You should try bellydancing Luz, you might surprise yourself I know you're doing a lot now, but whenever you get around go it you should really try

I'm sorry to hear that you're having these problems... I really feel what you're talking about. I have the exact same feelings about exercise! One of the exercises that has helped me is to think back on the progress I've already made, and to imagine losing that progress (which I've done several times in the last few years). Struggling for three months to lose five pounds and then gaining it back in a week is a horrible feeling for me, and it's one of the only things that stops me from binging on fast food.

You really can do it! You have a great attitude, and that's the most important asset anyone on your journey can have.

Awwwww Thx so much MCB I LOVE your ticker, so color coordinated it kills me! I am doing much better today, so thanks for the support. I managed to stay away from fast food today and the countless non diet things my husband cooked for me this morning lol AKA jalapeno bombers, popcorn shrimp, some delicious looking pasta and shrimp thing -_- I hope I can resist for the remainder of the day lol

And everyone I just wanted to add that I finally got the jogging stroller! YAY! So I can definitely begin going for walks again (too afraid to run while pushing the baby lol). But maybe I can find a place that has an earthy track where I won't be afraid to jog with him. I'm also planning on buying the core rhythms DVDs today. Gotta run! I have some programming stuff to do today, but I'll be back later to catch up on diaries I can't wait to see what's going on with everyone.

Take care!