A new lease on life - Xenon's Diary :)

Well, the programming assignment wasn't as deadly as I thought it would be :D So I'm here to catch up on diaries :) Still haven't cheated on my diet yet for today lol
 
Xenon said:
LUZ I just had to share this with you *daydreams of Bali*
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:eek2:

Whoaaaa!! That's amaaaazing!!

It's crazy hey, in Aus it's cheaper to get return flights to Bali than to get return flights to a different state in Aus lol. Yea I can't wait!! I would love to go to Europe more though!
 
Hey Xe how's it going! That picture right there is what I had in mind when I used to plan my wedding as a Teen......so beautiful!
 
luzdafuzz said:
:eek2:

Whoaaaa!! That's amaaaazing!!

It's crazy hey, in Aus it's cheaper to get return flights to Bali than to get return flights to a different state in Aus lol. Yea I can't wait!! I would love to go to Europe more though!
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I can totally understand that. On my last trip to Spain and North Africa, the ticket cost less than if I would have traveled to the opposite side of the states lol.
Verobc said:
Hey Xe how's it going! That picture right there is what I had in mind when I used to plan my wedding as a Teen......so beautiful!
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That would be the perfect place for a wedding! I never thought about it. When I was a teen I wanted to have my honeymoon in Tahiti lolol. We were actually going to go to Guatemala and Belize for my real honeymoon, but I lost my job and my husband was unemployed, so we stayed local. Thx for asking how I;m doing. I was doing PERFECT today until I did the absolutely WORST thing to myself -_- I made a batch of brownies!! I made them with the intention of not eating them--and I think I ate like 1/4 of them:svengo: Terrible. And before I went offline I was feeling so inspired *sighs* I have to ask my husband to not buy anymore brownie mixes because I have NO self control when it comes to them...the best I can do is resist buying the mixes
 
Well I've really been hitting up this diary so much today lol. I'm feeling so *good* right now :D This stupid town really flares up my allergies and I have allergy induced asthma--haven't had a problem in so many years because I was in places with not so many allergens but about 20 minutes after my last post I started feeling awful. I took some meds and I feel so relaxed and wonderful :D

Just thinking about where I went wrong today...just being a total :piggy: I talked to my husband about us not buying anymore brownies while I'm trying to lose weight and he just stared at me lol I'm not trying to blame him for me eating the hell out of the brownies, but I just need to avoid temptations and he keeps bringing them. Well certain things I can totally resist, but not home made brownies (not like I had to make them today either and who was I fooling thinking I would not eat any)

SO

All that said to say I really have to start holding myself accountable and not get caught up in the moment and foolish indulgences. The little brownie splurge cost me 520 cals and too much simple carbs...the remainder of the day I had only protein and veggies, so i hope I come out on the better side of this on weigh in day (3/14). Otherwise I am proud of myself for sticking to all of my other meals and getting in all of my water today...we must celebrate the good things as well:hurray:

Anyways off to have another brownie :p (just kidding) off to listen to some lectures. Have a great night/day everyone!
 
hey you - nice pic of Bali! :)

I so understand the temptaion of the brownie...lol...
the trick i have here is - that you can hardly buy candies/cakes in small pieces - everything in family size - so i just dont buy it - i know myself - once the pack is open - thats it...i wont stop until its gone. i really should learn some discipline!! so i could buy some dark chocolate then - i love the 90/99% cocoa ones.

Well done on sticking to your good diet otherwise! :)
Keep up the good job! :grouphug:
 
Thanks for understanding Justina :) To keep them out of the house is the only way I think I can resist them also.
 
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OMGosh! I hear you, I hear you! :grouphug:
I'm a baker... (especially of cookies and pudding filled cupcakes, and ganache frosting! Must fight the chocolate!) so I only allow myself to bake once a month.
Lol, and then I make my boyfriend take most of the product of my baking to his parents and his work so they aren't in the house! :svengo:

I'm not proud of this, but I must share the story...
A few months ago for my 21st birthday I made 2 dozen cookies (chocolate chip, white chocolate chip, and cashew butter) and my boyfriend and I got kind of drunk and ate EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! :puke: It was amazingly horrible... we spent the next day on the couch moaning and rocking. So yeah, comparatively, you did awesome! ;)
 
morecowbell said:
OMGosh! I hear you, I hear you! :grouphug:
I'm a baker... (especially of cookies and pudding filled cupcakes, and ganache frosting! Must fight the chocolate!) so I only allow myself to bake once a month.
Lol, and then I make my boyfriend take most of the product of my baking to his parents and his work so they aren't in the house! :svengo:

I'm not proud of this, but I must share the story...
A few months ago for my 21st birthday I made 2 dozen cookies (chocolate chip, white chocolate chip, and cashew butter) and my boyfriend and I got kind of drunk and ate EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! :puke: It was amazingly horrible... we spent the next day on the couch moaning and rocking. So yeah, comparatively, you did awesome! ;)
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lol I was just posting to your diary...*is not used to my buddies being online the same time as me*
Haha I did the same thing, I told my husband to take all of the rest of them to work and he did :p re: the cookies, at least you were drunk so you have a good excuse, I was sober -_-
 
:nopity: been having a rough time emotionally since yesterday and went on a MAJOR binge today... I really feel like just giving up and there's an annoying thought in my mind that I have always been fat and I will always be fat. I'm trying to push past my daily adversities but truth be told....I'm feeling emotionally worn out:svengo: Tired of feeling like I'm fighting against the forces of the universe just to do things to better myself. :nopity:
 
Xenon said:
:nopity: been having a rough time emotionally since yesterday and went on a MAJOR binge today... I really feel like just giving up and there's an annoying thought in my mind that I have always been fat and I will always be fat. I'm trying to push past my daily adversities but truth be told....I'm feeling emotionally worn out:svengo: Tired of feeling like I'm fighting against the forces of the universe just to do things to better myself. :nopity:
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:grouphug:
Hang in there!!! Believe me, I have these days, too... especially if I've been trying extra hard and not seeing enough results. It's really tough when you're trying to change something that's been a part of you for so long, it's like you're attempting to change your identity, and it's tough tough tough!
But think of this; how happy would it make you to see a thinner, healthier you in the mirror? Thinking of how good I'll feel and look is my major positive motivator.
Having a binge day is totally acceptable once in awhile, if you feel like you've ruined everything by having one bad day, just remember that it's OKAY! :) I've been eating a TON of pudding these past few days, and yeah, I feel a little guilty, but I also think that having a few extra calories is going to speed up my metabolism a bit, and make it slightly easier to lose weight after I'm able to eat solids again. :)
You can do it, there are so many people who believe in you and are cheering you on, so don't give up! :hurray:
 
Hey lovely Xenon - hope you are feeling better today!
We all have those days..for one thing or another!
Dont give up - YOU can do this!
& YOU will do this!
We are behind you!!! :grouphug:
 
Aww Xenon!
Don't worry about it we all have days like that!
I resigned myself to never getting below 200 and look where that got me... Back here!!!
The people are on here to be supported and more importantly support others!
We're all here if you need us. :)

PS Brownie is my downfall too. So now I only make half a batch each time, which makes one huge brownie (7 inch round I think), so I have half at absolute most instead of having an entire one to myself!
 
Justina said:
Hey lovely Xenon - hope you are feeling better today!
We all have those days..for one thing or another!
Dont give up - YOU can do this!
& YOU will do this!
We are behind you!!! :grouphug:
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Thanks so much Justina:grouphug: I guess when I'm feeling like that I forget that it happens to the best of us! Today was better.
redpiggy said:
Aww Xenon!
Don't worry about it we all have days like that!
I resigned myself to never getting below 200 and look where that got me... Back here!!!
The people are on here to be supported and more importantly support others!
We're all here if you need us. :)

PS Brownie is my downfall too. So now I only make half a batch each time, which makes one huge brownie (7 inch round I think), so I have half at absolute most instead of having an entire one to myself!
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Thx so much for saying we all have days like that redpiggy...I really lose sight of that when I'm feeling so down. Brownies are so good and so EVIL!:svengo: I think if I ever have them again when I'm in the process of losing weight I'll make half the batch as you said, then take one of them and send my husband off with the rest :D or eat the whole thing :p

I am feeling a bit better today and have done well so far today. Eating back on plan which is a big plus and I prepared my chicken for the week (I cook it and then freeze it). I exercised like mad today and even found a site with free workout videos. I found a really good one called boot camp calorie burning workout or something like that. I also found a bellydancing workout on u tube from the belly twins, but they are hopping around a lot and I'm trying to be careful with my knee. Even if I do it modified, the movement is still too much on the knees. But if anyone else doesn't mind hopping around, here's a link to the first vid---there are 4 total.
 
i am sorry to see that you had a tough day yesterday. i Hope today was better for you. i think it is normal to get to that point of fatigue when you are trying to lose weight. feeling like "fat" is what you are always going to be is going to make it harder. you should try picturing yourself at your ideal body weight, maybe that will motivate you. :)

you are doing really well :) keep it up, we're all behind you.
 
Hey Xe, I'm sorry yesterday wasn't great for you. But you know, we can't be perfect every day, and every now and then this happens, it's just important you pick yourself up again and keep going. Just remember the biggest part of weight loss is CONSISTENCY. So put yesterday behind you and keep going lady!!! :)

BTW.... Glad to see today was better for you!
 
Hey Xenon
i m happy you are feeling better!! :)
so clever that you cook for the week! well done!
Your youtube video is fun - i m always on the hunt for some free excercize videos on the web! I usually do a bit of a modified version too! ehehe
Keep up the good job!! :grouphug:
 
Hey Xe

I have been feeling the same all of last week.....The weather is getting nicer out that will give me a boost. I hope you are feeling better.....I found mysefl snacking on lot of junk especially last week hubby worked nights so I was alone most of the time...We just gotta keep going....we both have worked hard to get where we are...if we turn back we have to start over....but if we keep going we are already part of the way there right? I hope you are feeling better this week!
 
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