Oh Marsia Great big hug from me. That sounds so hard with the divorce and all the stress of everything.Ok, here goes. I am going to try getting back on the forum maybe once a week. I am going through a divorce and it has been just an awful, harrowing process. K and I spent 2 months in an RV with no air conditioning during a period of very high humidity in the South. Now we are back home and figuring out our next steps. I had to hire 2 lawyers because of J trying to sell our house out from under us.
The upsides of this are that I made friends with a very nice family who helped us a lot through this, and I lost 20 pounds from not being able to eat much. So I want to come back on the forum and just record my food and stress-reduction stuff and get back to healthy and happy.
Thanks so much Liza! I have missed the forum and am so glad that everyone's still here! I'm having a rather emotional day (my cat is also dying and I need to do a bunch of upsetting financial research for the lawyers) so it's really nice getting hugs and support!!Oh Marsia Great big hug from me. That sounds so hard with the divorce and all the stress of everything.
I am glad you can see some upsides in connecting with a lovely family who is helping you through it all.
I'm very glad to have you back here and I hope we all can be of some help in being a support for you as well.
Take care
Hi Llama, thanks so much for this. It really means a lot!! K is not doing so well. This all started with us having to flee the house after filing a child abuse report, so being back here is super hard for her as far as the memories. She'll get good therapy, but it's a month and a half away, so I am doing all I can with reading up on healing with her and doing exercise and such. She is very amazing and brave and does have very good days, too. She also has the world's sweetest boyfriend, but he just went off to college, and we're looking at visiting him soon. K has a good friend here to go on fun outings with and is still doing long calls with her BFF back home, too.Oh Marsia, how awful! I think it's admirable that you find something positive even in horrible situations but I mostly hope things will get easier for you soonish. You've dealt with enough these past couple of years. How's K coping? Hugs for you and the poor kitty.
Em, this brought tears to my eyes! Thank you. I agree about the bad vibes - I'd been feeling them, but stayed because I thought J was such a good dad. I couldn't have been more wrong, and that's the hardest thing to process from all this. I just did this really hard financial thing, and am feeling so proud of myself. All this has been really hard, but it's also made me a much stronger, better person. "What doesn't kill you, ...", and all that! Improv people are sooo bizarre. So glad not to have improv troupes in my house now! One wonderful thing is that I have 2 of the most amazing lawyers - these super tough but kind-hearted women who have both worked in the field for over 25 years, and they are really good at getting J to do what they ask (but even they are astounded at how he drags his feet and you need to have a threatening plan that penalizes him if he doesn't do things to get him to do anything). I would be destitute and homeless without them, but with them, I have all sorts of hope. It was pure serendipity (and a big long convoluted story) to have gotten a recommendation to the lawyers, and I am just the luckiest person in that way.Oh Marsia, I am so sorry to hear this! Although, I never got good vibes about J from what you wrote on here - full disclosure! I just hear 'improv group' and I know what these guys are like!
But sincerely, I am really, really sorry to hear that, especially after your mother passing away and moving across the country and everything. I know it was meant to be a new start for you. Anyway, I'm glad you are back home and back to your gardening and all that. I really hope the next chapter in your life brings you so much joy and peace. You really deserve it.
Lovely to get into the garden and include the yoga and pilates. Nothing so healing as gardening for me!Oh, I forgot to mention that we are doing some pilates and yoga and I am starting back on gardening to get the yard in good shape for selling the house eventually. It felt good getting digging in while in the heat. I read that saunas help with stress reduction, and our yard in the summer is basically a big sauna!
I hope you can take that space to have some good cries and good sleeps as you process all of this. It is a helluva lot to go through!Thanks ever so much Cate and Llama! Everyone who I have to tell that I am separating here goes out of their way to help, and usually gives me their card. I moved to the right place to divorce! I feel that I have been really brave for the last 2.5 months, and now I am starting to get shaky and cry a lot and need a ton of sleep now that all the adrenaline of getting us in a safe place has worn off.
Good idea to not be over-rigorous and to just try and stick with some healthy habits as you maintain the weight-loss. I am sorry that the loss of weight was through stress but it is good to see it as a positive side-effect of a really hard time.I weighed in and am at 181 pounds. I can not make myself eat much the last couple of days, so am losing weight without having to think about it, but before that was gaining a little. I just need to get good exercise for my physical and mental health at this point and not eat junk. I don't think I should be more rigorous at this point.