Cate's Diary

Try just saying "that's nice" to them, you may know what that means to southern (US) women.

Here is a short version of the old joke, there is some truth to it, my mother used "that's nice" just this way:

Southern Belle #1: "Look at this ring my husband bought me!"
SB #2: "That's nice."
SB #3: "Look at this fur coat my husband just gave me!"
SB #2: "That's nice."
SB #1: "Why didn't your husband get you anything?"
SB #2: "Well ...he did send me to finishing school..."
SB #3: "Why'd he do that?"
SB #2: "...So I could learn to say THAT'S NICE instead of FUCK YOU!!!!" :)
 
Marsia said:
Wow, I love your description of your morning! I would love to wake up singing to each other - that's like out of an old time musical! You are so lucky!
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Ha :D I think it's a one-off, but it was funny & fun & I am so lucky, I know. We both grew up listening to lots of different sorts of music, played by our parents & grandparents so have a very wide repertoire!
Marsia said:
If the old bats at your club give you grief, just tell them you were only suggesting a change, and since no one else spoke up, you won't pursue the idea, no hard feelings. I think if you keep being reasonable, they won't have anything to fight with. But you should secretly end all your sentences to them with "you old bat" silently in your head!
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I'll have to change that to younger bats as they are the 3 youngest, but I like your attitude, M :) I'll carry on as if nothing happened I think & see what happens.
Marsia said:
I adore tree ferns, and I forgot to mention in another post about the lovely African seeming plant you mentioned, at least I think I have seen it in a botanical garden in the African section. You get to grow the most wonderful plants! Happy gardening!!!
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We call tree ferns man ferns in Tasmania (just to be different I think). I wonder what the African seeming plant it was that I mentioned. It was maybe the Kniphofia 'Winter Cheer' or winter-flowering red-hot poker, that originates from South Africa. They don't get spread by the birds like the spring-flowering ones & the birds just love the nectar. Winter Cheer

Thanks, Amy. We got outdoors & did a very difficult job & are both recovering, having a pot of tea, but still outdoors. We are being serenaded by lots of birds! We'll get back into it after a while. We also did some housework (washing, washing-up etc by me) & cooking by G who made some Venison Dendeng, after cutting off enough steaks for tonight & tomorrow night & also cooking up some more vegetables.
Thanks, Rob. That is SO funny & I'll have to read it out to G. He was amused!
"That's nice". I'm going to try that one. I can say that out loud & "you bitch" in my head, but I'm finding that I have started to say more things out loud that would once have been kept in my head. Dangerous territory! Actually I'll have to try to think nice thoughts about them as it will be much better for me. I shouldn't let them get to me as I do.
 
Cate said:
Actually I'll have to try to think nice thoughts about them as it will be much better for me. I shouldn't let them get to me as I do.
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Thinking positive things even inside your head IS often helpful. "Letting the anger out" (shouting, breaking old plates, hitting pillows) only reinforces it. "That´s nice", even if it´s meant to be passive-agressive, is much more postive. Not to mention it doesn´t repeat age-ist stereotypes.
 
Oh I didn’t know he reached that far . He’s a good character. Yeah we totally love our humour and take the piss out of ourselves a lot .
 
Petal001 said:
Oh I didn’t know he reached that far . He’s a good character. Yeah we totally love our humour and take the piss out of ourselves a lot .
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I think they have toured here at least 3 times, going back as far as 2013. Apparently over a million people watch each episode of the TV show, in a population of only about 25 million.
Australians take the piss out of ourselves a lot too & love the Irish sense of humour (& Canadian).

It's a very dreary day today. I don't think we'll get inspired to get out into the garden today & it looks like rain anyway & it is thundering right now. We've been umming & ahhing about visiting G's sister & BIL as they have old friends over from Melbourne, who were initially our friends when we lived back in Melbourne. He used to be married to someone else (L) who I have remained friends with. They came over to see M before his op. G's sister & BIL were living in PNG & B & M were going over there for his work so we passed on their details & they ended up becoming best of friends. We may go visit but I'm not really keen. We're playing golf tomorrow in our social group at a course up in the central highlands.
 
Cate said:
Australians take the piss out of ourselves a lot too & love the Irish sense of humour (& Canadian).
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And New Zealand! All I can think of right now is How we live in the shadows - but there's lots more!

Sounds like a visit to G's sister and friends would be more of a chore than a pleasure - not exactly a chore, I guess, but "making conversation" which probably wouldn't be as much fun as you could be having for the day - as I hope you end up having!
 
LaMaria said:
Not to mention it doesn´t repeat age-ist stereotypes.
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Oh, sorry, LaMa, I didn't mean it that way.

Cate, I love the Winter Cheer link you sent! We have something similar in our front garden, but the blossoms aren't as lovely as that. Hope you have a great time with your golf social club!
 
Marsia said:
Oh, sorry, LaMa, I didn't mean it that way.
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I think you're wonderful and didn't assume you meant badly. But we all let society's prejudice slip in sometimes and if we can help each other by pointing it out in small ways we may all get better at avoiding the big ones.
 
Hi, Amy & Marsia.
Our day has been quite strange. G didn't want to get in touch with them first so consequently, we drove all the way there (60 km?) only to find them not at home. He sometimes is hard to fathom, but I think it's not wanting to get tangled up in meals & fuss.....I'm not sure really. Anyway, we ended up ordering a car radio for my car as mine has died, some potting mix & were back home for lunch. It is stormy today & unpleasant.
Since Wednesday I have been feeling quite uptight & out of sorts. I feel a bit better today.
Marsia- the red-hot pokers we have here are much brighter than the photo on that page I shared. They are just starting to fade a bit now. It's forecast to snow tomorrow, so I'm not sure if we'll get to play, but we'll get to catch up with our lovely golfing buddies.
Hi, LaMa. You just posted. Happy Saturday :)
 
Oh Cate that's happened us before not calling before driving but it can be useful to do other things as you discovered. Hope the snow stays away and you get to golf
 
I hate unexpected visitors with a passion so I always announce myself everywhere even when I know the people are happy to see people at all times... Thankfully you can´t look into my apartment from the street so I sometimes pretend I´m not at home :blush5: Is that bad?
 
LaMaria said:
I think you're wonderful and didn't assume you meant badly. But we all let society's prejudice slip in sometimes and if we can help each other by pointing it out in small ways we may all get better at avoiding the big ones.
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Thank you LaMa. You are good at calling me on things I need to examine and I appreciate it! I realized from you saying that that growing up most of my interactions with older people were of the variety of "Hey kid, get off my lawn! What is the world coming to? Young people are so (fill in blank with undesirable word here)..." so up until recently I would brace myself for that kind of treatment. Since learning to get along better with my mom I am discovering that older people are just people like me but maybe sometimes crankier because of aches and pains plus maybe because of people not treating them as if they are people!

Sorry your day was a little odd Cate. I think you do great with G letting him do his thing even though it might not be what you would have done. And nice you got some practical things done instead. Your red hot pokers sound lovely, and I really love having flowers that attract birds. I try to have a lot of things for the butterflies and humming birds, and it's so lovely when I see them out there on the flowers!

I see what everyone means about treating the ladies at the club with loving kindness and all. But I also think there needs to be a balance where you don't let people like that walk all over you either. It's very hard, but I think loving kindness does help, and I'm glad people brought that up because I tend to react strongly and take things too personally. I am learning to do this with my mom (hear her out and try to empathize, but also stand up for myself), and though I sometimes walk away shaking from hurt feelings and feeling misunderstood, it is a really good exercise in learning to ask for what I want in as non-confrontational way as I can. It is getting easier and easier to do.
 
Thanks, Petal, LaMa & Marsia. I really appreciate your friendship & support :grouphug: I take in everything that is said here as I know that it comes with good intentions & love.
I think I have to do something on Wednesday to heal the rift, without losing any of my self-respect. I think I'm the only one suffering, & I will do it for my sake. I'm done with being walked over or being treated badly, but also need to be able to continue on getting along with the people that I like without getting so angry & upset with the ones that I don't like.
G & I went up the mountains today & had such a lovely, fun day. I got driven around in a cart by his good friend, A & I laughed so much that at one stage I was grateful that I had ducked into the toilets in the clubhouse or I may have wet myself. I actually got the giggles & had tears pouring down my face. G & I will be staying in a house at the nationals next year with A & his lovely wife. We get along really well. She's the very glamorous, slim one who doesn't judge or criticise anyone.
G is sound asleep at the moment & has been for about an hour. He walked around the 18 holes. It's almost dinner-time & we are having grilled salmon with veggies. I am quite hungry. I had a little of the bbq & a banana while I played.
Tomorrow we are heading off again in a different direction & I really do have to buy some new clothes. I wish I could say they are in a size smaller, but unfortunately, I can't. I only have one pair of slacks that are lightweight (not counting capris). We will pick up the new car radio & some more salmon. Tuesday will be a day at home!
 
I haven’t got the giggles in so long! What a lovely feeling.

I had salmon and veggies for my dinner yesterday as well. So nice.
 
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