That sounds so lovely! Shame I can´t breathe near wool. Or down. All-cotton bedding isn´t easy to find although I have one fleecy cotton blanket which I love.
Good egg.Cate's Diary
- Thread starter Cate
- Start date
Good egg.
davisgirl
New member
Ooph, my apologies for neglecting your journal Cate, some days it’s all about me ha!
Glad to hear that you are adjusting to the new medication. My sister and mother are deeply affected by “normal” doses of medication as well, and they struggle.
The studies sound exciting. I do so hope something can be done about dementia soon, in the end it trumped diabetes, hypertension, and cardiovascular disease and took my Dad at 81, not a very nice way to go.
My doctor says I have bipolar 2, I always thought it was garden variety depression but she seems pretty sure. I have recently enjoyed a stable and medication free period that is unfortunately drawing to a close, the symptoms seem to fluctuate. I have an appointment on the 20th and suspect I will be back on some meds and I’ll be honest — most of them are famous for causing weight gain (and lethargy, ugh) and I’m not looking forward to being medicated again. I’d read some studies that keto has been beneficial for epilepsy and sometimes even bipolar. I can honestly say that better eating and regular exercise has definitely helped, but not enough unfortunately. I’ll just have to make it work.
Glad to hear that you are adjusting to the new medication. My sister and mother are deeply affected by “normal” doses of medication as well, and they struggle.
The studies sound exciting. I do so hope something can be done about dementia soon, in the end it trumped diabetes, hypertension, and cardiovascular disease and took my Dad at 81, not a very nice way to go.
My doctor says I have bipolar 2, I always thought it was garden variety depression but she seems pretty sure. I have recently enjoyed a stable and medication free period that is unfortunately drawing to a close, the symptoms seem to fluctuate. I have an appointment on the 20th and suspect I will be back on some meds and I’ll be honest — most of them are famous for causing weight gain (and lethargy, ugh) and I’m not looking forward to being medicated again. I’d read some studies that keto has been beneficial for epilepsy and sometimes even bipolar. I can honestly say that better eating and regular exercise has definitely helped, but not enough unfortunately. I’ll just have to make it work.
Cate
Long term member
I think I am right with cotton layers between me & wool, but I decided that I wouldn't risk down. I also need a cotton blanket for Summer. The only one I have is about 20 years old & is looking ancient & wishy-washy. I'm too scared to look & see how much theirs are. I want a nice one that will also look good as a bedspread.That sounds so lovely! Shame I can´t breathe near wool. Or down. All-cotton bedding isn´t easy to find although I have one fleecy cotton blanket which I love.
G is a very good egg
Good bedding does last & is worth it. I have always baulked at spending much on it, but have learned the hard way & will stick to quality from now on. I had a pleasant evening last night, thanks, Petal. It's my favourite time of day xo
Hi, Pam. No need to apologise. I have more spare time than most these days. Dementia is scary. I would hate for G to look after me & not have a good life, but the thought of ending up in a home, going the way my mother & her mother both did is really more frightening. My Mum wasn't aggressive, luckily for everyone, but she was also incapable of anything for the last couple of years of her life.
Bipolar 2 is tricky to diagnose. A work "friend" who is a psychologist said to me when I was in my 20's that I was a classic manic depressive after I was accused of being the drunk at a work party the week before & I said I hadn't even had one drink(which I hadn't). When I look back on a lot of my life I can see that I most probably do have it. I think I really only admitted it to myself after our younger son was diagnosed a couple of years ago. A few times I have been diagnosed with depression & agreed to meds for a short while. They almost instantly had me feeling as high as a kite so I would stop within a week. I had to basically tell my GP that I probably had bipolar 2 & to note that I shouldn't take any depression medication. Our son is doing well on just Lithium. He is eating well, exercising, drinking very little alcohol & seeing a psych regularly. I'm very proud of him.
I have not had a good morning. It started when I got on the scales, expecting a loss. I hadn't said but last week I had lost a kilo, but this morning the scales said I had regained that one kilo & added another 1.5
My BP was up this morning, I had to have a fasting blood test, lost the referral, left my phone at home........It's done now. I left the doctor's in disgust with myself & did some shopping (with my mask on) & when I got back to the GP's the receptionist had nabbed my GP & got another referral for me, I had the blood test done as did G & we came back home & had breakfast. I thought "bugger it" I'm not losing any weight anyway so I'll have some toast & had it with avocado & boiled egg. I then changed into my "home" clothes (rugged up for the Antarctic) & have been sitting in front of the fire. We have since had a pot of coffee & a pot of herbal tea & I am starting to feel better again. It has also just stopped raining & the sun is coming out.... a little. My day is improving. I really felt like crying this morning about my weight. Still do really.
That's really hard lines, about the weight - I'm very sorry indeed. I know how cheated one feels in a situation like that.
I'm glad you were able to treat yourself to a good, satisfying and healthy breakfast at least - and blessings on the receptionist who ensured that you were able to get the blood test done, and not have a half-wasted trip.
May the rest of the day go really well, and the weight "gain" prove to be fleeting and illusory, and your loss be back, evident in front of you next time you weigh.
I'm glad you were able to treat yourself to a good, satisfying and healthy breakfast at least - and blessings on the receptionist who ensured that you were able to get the blood test done, and not have a half-wasted trip.
May the rest of the day go really well, and the weight "gain" prove to be fleeting and illusory, and your loss be back, evident in front of you next time you weigh.
Cate
Long term member
Thanks, LaMa & Amy. I'm finding it very difficult today.
It is incredibly frustrating. I am too committed to healthy eating to give up, but I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. I have had no exercise at all today. Tomorrow I will get out there again & try to forget what those scales said this morning. I am feeling thoroughly down I must admit & have been teary a few times today (& now).
It is incredibly frustrating. I am too committed to healthy eating to give up, but I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. I have had no exercise at all today. Tomorrow I will get out there again & try to forget what those scales said this morning. I am feeling thoroughly down I must admit & have been teary a few times today (& now).
Petal001
New member
Cate,
It is so disheartening when you expect a loss but get a gain. I had a little gain on Wednesday but it checked me a bit . Back on plan now and journaling this week. Make sure you are eating enough food . I know this sounds strange but the week I eat loads ( fruits salads and veg ,protein mainly ) are the weeks I see the biggest losses .
Hope the day improved a little for you . Hugs
It is so disheartening when you expect a loss but get a gain. I had a little gain on Wednesday but it checked me a bit . Back on plan now and journaling this week. Make sure you are eating enough food . I know this sounds strange but the week I eat loads ( fruits salads and veg ,protein mainly ) are the weeks I see the biggest losses .
Hope the day improved a little for you . Hugs
Cate
Long term member
Thanks, Petal. I appreciate your concern & caring.
I came back in to say I looked up the new drug I was prescribed & have spent the last hour or so reading up on side effects & interactions. I will ring the cardio on Monday as I think I should go off it. I have quite a few of the side effects including tingling in my fingers & toes, dizziness, feeling depressed & also it says it shouldn't be used with someone who suffers from postural hypotension. I have a feeling the cardio doesn't know I have that. I had put it out of my head as it was a long time ago that a doctor told me that I had it. I almost passed out getting out of a swimming pool once & went straight to the doctor. When I told him it had happened as I was getting out of the pool he took my BP sitting down & then again standing up & it plummeted. It was such a long time ago & I hadn't given it any thought for years & years.
I will definitely ring on Monday.
I came back in to say I looked up the new drug I was prescribed & have spent the last hour or so reading up on side effects & interactions. I will ring the cardio on Monday as I think I should go off it. I have quite a few of the side effects including tingling in my fingers & toes, dizziness, feeling depressed & also it says it shouldn't be used with someone who suffers from postural hypotension. I have a feeling the cardio doesn't know I have that. I had put it out of my head as it was a long time ago that a doctor told me that I had it. I almost passed out getting out of a swimming pool once & went straight to the doctor. When I told him it had happened as I was getting out of the pool he took my BP sitting down & then again standing up & it plummeted. It was such a long time ago & I hadn't given it any thought for years & years.
I will definitely ring on Monday.
alligatorob
Respected Member
I have a theory that most of us show symptoms of things like manic depression from time to time, it just a matter of degrees. But my wife, who is a licensed therapist (MSW) doesn't always agree, and she knows more about this than I.
You've been at this long enough to know what real weight gain is and isn't. You know what you ate and did in the last week, and you should know if this is real. Gaining 2.5 kg of fat in a week would take a lot of bad eating.
Good to hear your son is managing well, that must make you feel a lot better.
Oh, Cate, so sorry about the weight gain. I am just maintaining now, or it's going up a little, as well. Stress or change in medicines or things like that probably don't help at all. I am waiting for things to settle down and when I am feeling a bit more myself I am going to do a very concerted effort to eat super clean and just get the darned weight off. I do need to wait until I am a bit more calm to do this, but maybe once you get your medication sorted we could try something like that together. I think what is happening for me is that I go over a little on fats some days, and I cheat a bit with fruits that are a little higher in sugar, or I don't eat the right amount for the lack of exercise. I really think with some people, their bodies really hold on to the last few pounds especially and it is a herculean task to get them off. Once we do, we need to really support each other not to gain back!!!
My husband's favorite plant is the Swiss cheese plant. I used to see them everywhere, but they are out of vogue here now, so I probably need to order some from a nursery. I just got into house plants again, so really want some nice hanging plants like this.
Big hugs, and know you are not alone. And I can be so up and down in mood, I really understand. For me it's tied to anxiety, but we all have our places that make us off balance, or we wouldn't be in this forum! Here's to us all finding stability together!
My husband's favorite plant is the Swiss cheese plant. I used to see them everywhere, but they are out of vogue here now, so I probably need to order some from a nursery. I just got into house plants again, so really want some nice hanging plants like this.
Big hugs, and know you are not alone. And I can be so up and down in mood, I really understand. For me it's tied to anxiety, but we all have our places that make us off balance, or we wouldn't be in this forum! Here's to us all finding stability together!
That's pretty urgent-sounding stuff, about the side-effects showing up, especially with the doctor not being aware of your postural hypotension. Hugs, and supporting you in the whole business of getting your medication fine-tuned to beign exactly right for you.
Also - hoping that today's easy-going golf game with people you can trust is a real restorative!
Also - hoping that today's easy-going golf game with people you can trust is a real restorative!
Cate
Long term member
Thanks, Rob. I know you're right, but when you truly expect a drop & instead you see a 1.5kg gain, well, that's a 2kg difference & that is disheartening. I know it can't be fat, but gahhhhhh!
Thank you. It does. I'm very proud of him.
Thanks, Marsia. I think when I get my medication sorted & you are not so busy we will join forces & have a concerted effort. We'll get there & then we'll fight like hell to stay there. I'm sure there is a lot of people here who will join us.
I just love the Swiss-cheese plant. I only knew it by its Latin name, Monstera Deliciosa, until the other day when I was trying to find a good photo to share. None of the photos looked as good as my plants do. Mine are BIG. When you do get one, every time it puts out one of the long dangly things, tuck it into the soil as soon as you can & another plant will grow, which you can then take out when you repot it & replant it into another pot & so on
It's a pity it is not so simple to put photos straight on here from your phone or I would. Isn't it weird that plants can become fashionable or unfashionable? People seem to want to be the same. Weird.Thanks for the hugs. They never go astray. I think I am an emotional sponge & my moods can still go up & down, but nothing like they used to. I don't get right down & stay down & often bounce right back the next day. Like today xoxo
Thanks, LaMa. I will, I promise. I have been very woozy this afternoon & this morning my lower systolic was much higher than I have ever seen it
I don't like feeling like I do.Thanks, Shell xo
Thanks, Amy for your support too. I'm very lucky to have this forum & my forum friends.
I don't think I will be able to play golf tomorrow I'm afraid. If I can't go for a walk up here without getting really woozy I can't imagine how I would go with all that bending over, let alone swinging clubs. I may try to turn lemons into lemonade & instead of being upset about that I think I will walk around the course with G & his group.
G went right down into our bush today & cut up all of the little trees that had come down over our track. He could then drive all the way down & turn around & come back without having to back out, which is really difficult. He suggested him driving down & me walking down which was good & then I was able to get a lift back. I detoured via our letterbox to get the Saturday papers & got to fit in a 2 km walk. By the time I got there, after answering messages from our sons, taking my BP, etc he was almost done. We talked about what we'll do down there & G agreed that we will get a bulldozer in to clear a clear track all the way to the back. I'll ring on Monday as the dozer driver we know is Mormon & Sat is their religious day I think.
We are having a really pleasant afternoon "reading" & watching our sons play pool online. 2 of R's matches have been live-streamed, including one on the repechage side, but none of D's has yet, even though he is on the winners' side of the draw. It's quite exciting!
I won't be doing much for the rest of the day. I'm fine sitting in my chair, drinking herbal tea!
Petal001
New member
Cate so much goes on here while I sleep .
Sorry again about the Bp it does seem all over the place and as Rob says you know you can't have put on 2.5kg of fat in that time . Your body is adjusting to medications . You have a lot going on . It's great you and Marsia are nearly at a stage where you can tackle the last few lbs .
I agree with Rob we all show signs of manic depressive at times doesn't make us so.
Hey that's fabulous you can watch your sons play pool.
It's amazing what we can watch online . I heard recently that you can see the pandas on a webcam in Edinburgh zoo. Although I just checked they must be outside right now . Saying that I hate thinking of them in captivity . Anyway I digress.
Keep the faith Cate you are an inspiration x
Sorry again about the Bp it does seem all over the place and as Rob says you know you can't have put on 2.5kg of fat in that time . Your body is adjusting to medications . You have a lot going on . It's great you and Marsia are nearly at a stage where you can tackle the last few lbs .
I agree with Rob we all show signs of manic depressive at times doesn't make us so.
Hey that's fabulous you can watch your sons play pool.
It's amazing what we can watch online . I heard recently that you can see the pandas on a webcam in Edinburgh zoo. Although I just checked they must be outside right now . Saying that I hate thinking of them in captivity . Anyway I digress.
Keep the faith Cate you are an inspiration x
That room for the pandas looks tiny Petal!
Cate, I’ve lost track of where you are in terms of what weight you have left to lose? It’s so annoying about the scales but keep going.
As regards having depression or not - it’s just a label. I wouldn’t let it define me. We all have low moments, we all deal with life differently. Tell yourself a more positive story.
Cate, I’ve lost track of where you are in terms of what weight you have left to lose? It’s so annoying about the scales but keep going.
As regards having depression or not - it’s just a label. I wouldn’t let it define me. We all have low moments, we all deal with life differently. Tell yourself a more positive story.
Hi Cate!! Thanks for the tips about the Swiss cheese plant! That will be so nice having J's favorite plant everywhere around the house - they are so tropical looking and beautiful!
You are so lucky having a hubby who hires you a bulldozer for making you a walking path! I love hearing about your lovely relationship, and am glad you can join G for his golf game and get nice exercise in with them - that's a really good idea!
Have you called your doctor yet? It's so weird the medicine is making you feel faint, yet isn't keeping your blood pressure down. I wonder if there is a better medicine for you?
I like how you put it about being an emotional sponge. That describes me exactly. When I was.a counseling intern, one of our teachers was always telling me to block out the emotions of my clients and not take them on, and I had no idea how to do that, but she didn't know how to tell me what to do. On the other side of that, it makes it very easy to empathize with people because we pick up so easily on what sorts of emotions they are emitting. But lately I am learning to focus on my own happiness and grounded-ness and to not focus on what the other person is feeling. It's mostly about where I focus my attention. I can make a concerted effort to focus more on myself, and it doesn't exactly block out stressful people, but it makes me acknowledge their energy less, if that makes sense. It's like how if you don't want to worry, you find something more pleasant to focus on and just keep bringing your attention back to the pleasant thing over and over (or like how you are meditating in nature and focusing on your senses instead of on thoughts.)
You are so lucky having a hubby who hires you a bulldozer for making you a walking path! I love hearing about your lovely relationship, and am glad you can join G for his golf game and get nice exercise in with them - that's a really good idea!
Have you called your doctor yet? It's so weird the medicine is making you feel faint, yet isn't keeping your blood pressure down. I wonder if there is a better medicine for you?
I like how you put it about being an emotional sponge. That describes me exactly. When I was.a counseling intern, one of our teachers was always telling me to block out the emotions of my clients and not take them on, and I had no idea how to do that, but she didn't know how to tell me what to do. On the other side of that, it makes it very easy to empathize with people because we pick up so easily on what sorts of emotions they are emitting. But lately I am learning to focus on my own happiness and grounded-ness and to not focus on what the other person is feeling. It's mostly about where I focus my attention. I can make a concerted effort to focus more on myself, and it doesn't exactly block out stressful people, but it makes me acknowledge their energy less, if that makes sense. It's like how if you don't want to worry, you find something more pleasant to focus on and just keep bringing your attention back to the pleasant thing over and over (or like how you are meditating in nature and focusing on your senses instead of on thoughts.)