Cate's Diary

I like the image of your golf ladies as pigeons. I picture them like the ones in the children's animation movie Bolt. Being that closed minded and insular can't be pleasant, and I am sure they have all kinds of instant karma.

Hope you have fun at golfing despite the pigeon-minded peeps!
 
LaMaria said:
Pigeons tend to poop when startled so be ready to duck :)
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This made me laugh last night when I read it, LaMa. I was too tired to reply. I didn't need to startle the pigeons yesterday, LaMa. There were no racist remarks & nothing else that got my back up. I was mentally prepared for it, but was also glad it wasn't necessary.
Marsia said:
I like the image of your golf ladies as pigeons. I picture them like the ones in the children's animation movie Bolt. Being that closed minded and insular can't be pleasant, and I am sure they have all kinds of instant karma.
Hope you have fun at golfing despite the pigeon-minded peeps!
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I didn't actually have fun at golf yesterday but am glad I went as I did 17,000 steps. It was hard going as the ground was so wet. I was going to go home early but G, who just started radiation, called in afterwards to have a bit of a hit & I really enjoyed talking to her. I really loe her & love her attitude. G & I are going out to the club tomorrow to help her with a gardening job she wants to be done. I offered our help when I heard she was diagnosed. She is very independent & feisty, but I am glad that she accepts my help. We used to argue a lot, but I think we have more in common than not.
aiminglow said:
It's nearly Naidoc Week, so you might have something good to casually point them to, like a local exhibition or celebration?
(For non-Australians - this is a week celebrating indigenous Australian culture and achievements.)
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Unfortunately, I feel that their racism is entrenched & I am not sure that anything I said would change their views. I don't, however, have to listen to it & won't. I feel like getting some information to leave out there. This site is really good- Racism. It Stops With Me |

I just realised I hadn't logged my food into MFP yesterday so got side-tracked doing it. I have managed to get my protein up to a more acceptable level now so that's good, but it is something I need to keep an eye on.
 
Glad you had a really successful day step-wise and that you got to meet up with your friend G. That's amazing that she is handling things so gracefully, and nice you get to spend good quality time with her!
 
Thanks, Marsia. She is something else. I have learned a lot from my sister & friends who have had cancer. They much prefer you don't fuss over them, but know they can count on your support.
 
I had very little sleep last night. Our younger son is heartbroken & it really looks like it is not going to work out for them, even though they both love one another. I imagined him feeling very lonely & sad last night & I lay awake for hours & hours. He says he won't let this derail his health. He has himself in such a good place at the moment & I am very proud of him. I know he loves her more than he has ever loved anyone else.

My food yesterday was-
BF- stirfry venison & veggie omelette
Lunch- steamed prawn gyozas, followed by a fruit platter & a tiny 1/2 piece of lemon cake(the rest is now in the freezer. I bought it to have as a dessert when the kids come. I add some maple syrup, heat & add ice cream for them)
.Dinner- Grilled salmon steak with LOTS of vegetables
Today-
BF- oats(soaked overnight in almond milk with some chia & sunflower seeds), 1/2 banana, raspberries, rhubarb & walnuts.
Lunch- soup?
Dinner- something with lots of veggies.
We need to take something out of the freezer. A venison curry? Soup?
I'm going to try hard not to get worked up today. The exercise at the club will do me good & I'll also go for a walk when I get home. I'm glad we're going to see R on Sunday night.
 
Oh, so sorry Cate. I feel so sad for you and R. I hate when people are in love and are having trouble making it work out. Big hugs to you both!! Hope you got wonderful exercise and stress relief!
 
Thanks, Marsia. I know that you understand & that is nice. I can't change things. As a Mum, we feel that we should be able to fix things for our kids, but we can't fix everything. Bandaids (plasters) & kisses did the trick when they were little! I have had a good day & have distracted myself well.
 
Cate said:
we should be able to fix things for our kids, but we can't fix everything
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Sorry to hear about your son's situation, and you are right this is not likely something you can fix.

My stepson, who I've seen as a son most of his life, is also going through a tough time. He is almost 40 with 3 kids, he and his wife got divorced about a year and a half ago, that was really hard on us all, but as you say nothing we could do to fix it. Now he is going through breakup with his current girlfriend, to be honest this time his mother and I think he would be better off without her; but we sure can't say anything like that. Adult kids are not always easy.

Where do you get your venison? I don't think of Australia as having deer, but then I don't know much about it. Venison is good lean meat, good for a diet. We have lots of deer here, in fact a couple walked by us yesterday while barbecuing, but about the only way to get it legally is hunting, and I gave up deer hunting 20+ years ago.

Thanks for all your support!
 
I'm very sorry to hear about that unhappy situation, Cate. It's a horribly helpless feeling, watching someone loved going through great unhappiness.
 
Thanks, Rob & Amy.
It is very sad as I think this time she was the right one for him & I think they both love one another. He's at a loss to understand why she feels it won't work & so am I. I have to be really careful what I say to him. He is just getting himself in the best place he has ever been & last night he said he felt empty. We have been scared that he might kill himself many times & last night I started picturing this undoing all the good he has achieved in the last year or so. He now has himself on what looks like the right medication level, he is eating well, reducing his alcohol consumption, exercising every day, seeing a psych regularly, setting up good sleeping patterns & was really hopeful for a future that involved her. I feel that she is very conflicted & confused & there seems to be a lot of guilt in her mind about their getting together, which she doesn't seem to be able to justify. I think I convinced him last night that it is more about her needing to prioritise herself & her relationship with her son & his father & that it is not about loving or not loving him. I ended up crying last night while messaging him & said I was going to bed as I was really tired. I made sure I slept as I had taken two Phenergan (a sedative anti-histamine). I got a 'night Mum. Love you back & managed to get a good night's sleep.
The Venison we buy from a guy who actually farms them. They are feral in Australia. There are lots of them here in Tassie in the highlands & occasionally an old friend also gives us a leg of venison that he shoots in the wild. He has a deer license.
G & I have the day home today & he is about to go get some wood. I'll get moving in a minute, now that I have been around the diaries. There is such a strong sense of community in here at the moment. I really appreciate the support I get in here. It's hard to talk about our son without getting teary to my friends & family but I can in here. Well, sometimes I still get teary, like now, but it is an outlet for my emotions & that is a good thing.
 
Thank you, Rob & LaMa. I'm feeling very fragile today.
Thanks, Marsia & Tru. ( I see you read my morning's post)
I can cope well with most things, but when our younger son is suffering I suffer along with him.
I just got back from a walk through the bush & rang my BIL as I had heard that he went into the hospital for a night this week. When I asked how he was, he said "Good, thanks." to which I replied BS. He then told me that his heart rate was so high on Monday that they wouldn't give him his chemo & kept him in for the night. He is married to one of G's sisters. He said he is having a lot of trouble finding any motivation & I understand that. The road ahead does not look very promising for him. After he finishes his treatment he then has to have his bladder out. Poor bugger! I remember well how hard chemo was on my sister's body.
Another friend had a long operation on Wednesday to have a tumour removed from his stomach. It took 11 hours. His wife used to work for us & we became good friends. G is friends with her husband. Apparently, he is recovering really well. She has been messaging me to let me know.
Stress can build up & take you by surprise. I'm fine if my kids are fine usually, even with things going wrong around me.
We are off for a day & a night tomorrow. We'll go to a pre-game lunch & then see our football team play. After that, we are going to see R & go out to dinner. Monday morning we'll meet him for breakfast & drive back home. I think we might visit our BIL on the way back, depending on how we feel.
 
I won't have time in the morning to look at the forum but just wanted to give a positive update.
R has been messaging me for hours but has had a positive day. He & his housemate have blitzed their front yard & then went out for a while to listen to some live music. While there he caught up with a girl from up this way who he likes. He's back home again now chilling out. Tomorrow he's going bushwalking with a friend during the day. He knows what he needs to do to be well & he is doing it. I feel much better tonight!
 
I really empathize with your son R. I have throughout my life and still continue to have such a struggle reaching emotional stability. I don't know why some of us struggle more than others with this, but I do deeply empathize and understand. I am so happy to hear there is another woman who he likes so he doesn't go too deeply into the feeling of loss for his old girlfriend. It's so wonderful the bond you have with him and that he will reach out to you when he is hurting. Love is amazing and painful and just a total enigma!
 
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