Hey Tom, you have found some interesting things... but be careful not to put too much stock in the DNA analysis. The low cost consumer DNA analysis we can get is notoriously only semi-accurate. I took the 23 and me test, and so did some of my relatives. Our relationships were not always consistent. For example I have a first cousin who shows up as a brother, but he it too old for that to be possible, born when my parents were just kids. And a first cousin who shows up as a second. So be careful about jumping to too many conclusions. I think the tests are generally accurate, but not very precise, ie if you show up as mostly Irish you are not likely Chinese, but exact family relationships are not as good. See
Curious 23andMe twin results show why you should take DNA testing with a grain of salt
Dear Diary (a.k.a. trying to keep everything into perspective),
My sister could be my uncles. We lived on the same street at the time and so forth. And even after the findings tonight she still could be.
Relationship errors like that happen, don't think the test is definitive. It could tell you if your sister was genetically unrelated to someone, but errors in exact relationships are not unusual.
On our dad's side, it is quite a bit different. My sister can see matches and they are our relatives on my dad's side. When it comes to me, I don't have any names that matches my sister's paternal side. And all of the names I have on my paternal side are unknown to me and none occur on my sisters.
How close are your unknown and known relatives? 23 and me gives the option of contacting people named as your relatives, it is anonymous so only works if the person responds. I contacted one such person, he showed up as a second cousin but was no one I had ever heard of, and his last name was not familiar. Turned out we were third cousins, and there are lots of those I don't know, so nothing earth shattering...
So maybe I'm not my dad's after all.
Do you have a DNA test for him? That should tell you, trying to figure it out without his DNA may not be possible given the accuracy of the tests we get. More elaborate DNA testing could help, but its not availably to most consumers, and would cost a lot.
The nitty gritty - I was born in the Philippines (I look American). My mom caught my dad indisposed with his maid when she arrived. My dad was in the navy. I'm not sure how the maid thing works. He's never had money for anything.
My father lived in the Philippines in the 80s, at that time you could hire a maid for $1 or $2 a day. The Filipinos were very poor people, all Americans I met had maid and other servants. It was really a necessity to lower the risk of being robbed.
I've always helped my parents and honored them my whole live. I don't regret it. That's who I am. All of this does make me anxious though. Still, I'd rather know the truth no matter what the truth is.
That matters more than genetic relationships. No matter what the DNA says you are a good person, and so is anyone who loves you. I do however understand the curiosity and desire to know.
That sucks, to be seen as a moocher. But the people who matter know the truth: you, your sister, and your nephew.