When Your Fat Jeans Become Your Skinny Jeans

Hello there! Hope everyone is doing well! I am slowly but surely getting into a better routine. I am trying hard to force myself into bed between 10:15 and 10:30 every night, with a few minutes of reading before lights out. For a while there I was going to bed between 12:30 and 1:00 and that was just totally unnecessary. I won't say it's always EASY to get up at 5am to run, but it's getting easier.

Worked out in some capacity Sunday through today. I am trying out P90X, but only to a small degree. Since my main focus needs to be training, I definitely don't want to tire myself out, but I do want to build my strength up. Sunday I did arms and shoulders, and last night I did legs and back. Went hard enough to have tired muscles the next day, but not enough to be sore. I'll go a little harder next time. The legs one is TOUGH! Lots of lunges, which I've always been terrible at. Watching myself attempt those is pretty sad, but I'll get better!!

As far as running goes, I did the same short workout Sunday night and this morning... 5 minute warmup, 1 slow mile, 1 mile on the elliptical, and 1 fast mile. Sunday my ankle was killing me at first, but using the elliptical helped. I guess it stretched it out nicely. Today my legs were just tired from last night.

On a random note, my phone auto-corrects mile to be "mike" every single time, and it's more than a little annoying.

Eating got way off track.. I'm not sure how I stayed at 143. New Guy and I saw each other every night last week but Tuesday, and ate out every single day. Unhealthy and expensive, and we both agreed that will not happen again. He cooks, so we need to spend more time eating in. Or start having fish, veggies and water.

Getting cable and Internet on Saturday finally! Ordered a tv online that should be here by then. Oh, and Friday is my birthday! Looking forward to it this year, going out with co-workers that night and hanging with New Guy and New Friends on Saturday. We had sushi night last weekend. Made it ourselves. That was a first! I wasn't overly looking forward to it, but it was fun. I'll attach a pic or two. Delicious desserts, too.

On another random (female) note, I am more than a week late on my TOM right now and I am NOT happy. There is zero chance I'm pregnant, I just hate the waiting. I KNEW it was going to happen, too, because I met New Guy's big Italian family two weekends ago and an uncle told us he wanted another niece.... immediately. He specified that we should start that night. New Guy and I had a nice, uncomfortable laugh, and I said right then that just because of that, I was going to be late this month. And sure enough, I am! Grrr.
 
In regards to the last paragraph of my previous post, I better be done waiting soon because I am currently suffering from the worst anxiety I've had in a while, and for absolutely no good reason. I'm trying to concentrate on my breathing and may need to get some fresh air in a minute.... If this doesn't mean my TOM is coming soon, then I will be very disappointed.
 
*hugs* Don't worry sweetpea--Stress can make it late as well and you've had a very busy month! Deep breaths and go get some fresh air xxxxxx
 
Thanks, Hana! A coffee run with a co-worker did me good.... sometimes I just need a change of scenery.

I was thinking about birthday plans, that's what kick-started it. I am being a jerk and not inviting new guy out with my co-workers on Friday. And his friends are going to a beer festival on Saturday but I am not sure when the cable guy is coming, so I don't think we'll be able to go. That stressed me out a little, because I feel bad for not letting him spend either day the way he wants to. I told him he could go to the beer thing without me, but of course he said he just wants to spend the day with me. So then I felt like an even bigger jerk for not letting him come on Friday. I'm just not comfortable mixing him in with the work crew yet. The ex didn't meet anyone for three years, and that was only because he came out for my going away party. Plus the two of us were WAY PAST the we-need-to-be-all-over-each-other stage, and New Guy and I definitely aren't :beating: I don't really feel like having to hold back!
 
I think you should do what you feel comfortable with when it comes to your new flame. If he has any feelings at all for you he'll understand and be patient with you.

On your picture is that your new apartment's kitchen in the background? I LOVE those cabinets! Beautiful wood!

Great job on getting back into the groove and hitting the training hard - you'll be ready for that race in no time!
 
Thanks, Tig, he has put up with a lot from me these past couple of months... I tried to talk about the ex as little as possible, so he didn't even realize until AFTER I moved out that the ex had moved back home in mid-January. So he was even more understanding & patient than he needed to be with that whole thing. He's been so good about everything, the guilt is totally self-induced. And I wish I could take ownership over those cabinets but sadly I cannot! I was at a friend's place in the city, they have a GORGEOUS apartment overlooking the Boston Harbor.
 
Six miles on the treadmill in one hour! I'm pretty sure that is a first. I must be really bad at my treadmill math, though. I thought my last two miles could be run at 6.0 and I'd make my one hour goal just fine, but I ran nothing slower than that and had to bust my bum to finish. Apparently my mind was somewhere else. I may be sore tomorrow, but tonight I feel awesome!
 
Tried to do six miles at the gym last night. Failed miserably! I have to start stretching before I run. I'm not sure why I never have but it's definitely catching up to me. My right ankle always hurts now, and I end up using the elliptical since that stretches it out for me. The legs and back workout for P90X has some good stretches. Gotta start doing those!!

Finally have cable/Internet at the new place, as of Saturday. Got confused with the TV delivery and the furniture delivery, so now I won't have the new TV until Wednesday. They never called to schedule delivery, but none of the automated messages say where the heck they're calling from, so when the furniture people called I thought it was for the TV. Discovered today when I googled the number that I was mistaken. Thankfully new guy works from home, and made himself available both today and Wednesday to be at the aparttment. I can't afford to use any more vacation days on this stuff, so that helped out A TON!
 
Hey Laura!! Thank you for the lovely quote! That was so inspirational! I am going to post it somewhere and remember it! It's so true...not just with running but anything. Thank you for taking the time to post it! =) How's life treating ya? Are you still running regularly? I love it...the hard part is listening to your body and not having injuries while doing it! lol Haven't been perfect about that but am learning! How's the P90x going? Haven't given that a try yet...Sorry I didn't stop by sooner btw! Just get into a routine of popping in and out...you know how that goes! Hope you're doing well...6 miles sounds awesome!!! Hope to talk to you soon! :hat:
 
Sounds like you are really kicking it into high gear by training for your upcoming marathon! Great job!

Hope to see you around a bit more now that you have internet at home!
 
Soccerrox – Glad you enjoyed the quote! I’ve always liked that one. That and “If you run, you are a runner. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far. It doesn’t matter if today is your first day or if you’ve been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run.” On my laptop at home I have a few quotes like that (about running and about life in general) set as different wallpapers, and they scroll through randomly.

I haven’t been so great about my running… trying really hard to get back into a good routine now. Decided I needed to do some hills this morning. Didn’t make it very far, so to make up for that I came back to the apartment and decided to do 15/20 minutes of a P90X video. Did shoulders and arms because last time I was doing that I was just sort of getting a feel for the weights and stuff (I only have 5 lb weights at home, but I hadn’t really used them yet). Even after just 15 minutes my arms are tired! They were already tired from Tuesday’s SWIMMING LESSONS though. Which I was freaking out about, by the way, but it ended up ok. I was the only one there. There are four people signed up, I think; maybe more will show up next time but the one-on-one attention is good. I need to work on breathing and not being afraid of keeping my head underwater. And I can only tread water for about 15 seconds. My classes are on Tuesday, so maybe next Tuesday night I’ll have a longer time to share with you all!

Tig – I definitely plan on coming around here a little more often now. I need to, desperately! Hopefully I will have lots of good things to report in the coming weeks & months. Especially once the weather gets nicer and I start doing races! I think my first will be April 3rd. There are a ton to choose from; a 5k, a 5 mile, and a 10k. Think I have to go with the 10K!
 
Thursday:

Breakfast:
Ham, egg and cheese on an English muffin
1 cup of coffee with light chocolate syrup and a splash of soy milk
1 cup of coffee with skim milk
Lunch:
1/2 PBJ sandwich (would have been a whole sandwich, but the toaster ate one of my pieces of bread)
2 pretzel rods
1 fat free yogurt
Small handful of grapes
Dinner:
Stir fry with chicken and noodles (mushrooms, water chestnuts, broccoli, baby corn, hot chiles, etc etc… yum!)
Desserts/Snacks:
1 small piece chocolate cake after lunch
1 cup of coffee with skim milk (my usual 3pm pick me up)
½ cheese Danish at 4:30 (235 unnecessary calories, it was in the kitchen at work and I grabbed without thinking)
Around 2.5 servings of gummy bears (mindless snacking after dinner)
6 oreos (emotional eating)
1 pepper jack cheese stick (more emotional eating)
Exercise:
20 minutes on the treadmill, max speed = 5.7; max incline = 4 (first attempted hill workout in a LONG time)
15 minutes of P90X shoulder and arms workout

I also drank lots of water! For me, anyway. 48 oz (16*3), as well as 10 oz of mint tea. The key is having one of those reusable plastic cups, with a lid and a straw. It’s a lot easier to aimlessly drink water when you’re using a straw (as opposed to a bottle). And it’s dishwasher safe! Needless to say, though, I’ve spent a LOT of time in the bathroom today. My bladder doesn’t know what’s going on right now.

Been trying to figure out what leg of the relay race I’m doing…. Our team captain hasn’t said a word, so I took the initiative today and made preliminary assignments and blasted off an e-mail. That got some people thinking about it, finally, and now they’re telling the group their preferences. I’m updating the list as I get e-mails, but so far it looks like my distances are either going to be 7.1 / 4.9 / 3.6 *or* 9.3 / 4.3 / 3.4 (in miles). I’m nervous for the potential of a 9.3 but am willing to accept the challenge. At least it’s the first leg, and it looks relatively flat.

Got my TV delivered yesterday! Was very annoyed with the delivery people, as they were supposed to call to schedule and never did. Then they said they’d call on Tuesday and give me a three-hour window to expect them. Well, on Monday they had said it could be anywhere from 8am to 4pm. When I called on Tuesday (because of course they didn’t call me), they told me I was scheduled for 4pm to 8pm. A) That’s not a three hour window B) That is completely outside the hours I was told (I had made plans with three people and had to cancel as a result) and C) I had to call them and that’s not how it was supposed to work. I ordered through a very reputable company that uses an outside organization for large items like TVs and furniture. Well, I wrote an e-mail yesterday to recommend they use different people in the future and expressed that I would hesitate to purchase such a large item from them again… and today I got an e-mail apologizing for the situation and a credit for $45 off the price of the TV! YAY! It pays to be honest and give feedback!

Edit: I posted this entry before leaving work for the day... hence how positive a lot of it sounds. The emotional eating happened later at night, but I wanted to be honest and add it in.
 
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Friday:

Breakfast:
1.5 cups of soy milk with 1.5 servings of light choc. syrup (post workout)
Plate of misc. fruit at work (I had to try REALLY hard to avoid the bagel, but especially after two breakfast sandwiches this week, I did NOT need a bagel)
1 cup of coffee with skim milk
Lunch:
Cajun burrito bowl from Boloco, with chicken
Dinner:
TBD
Desserts/Snacks:
1 package of peanut butter crackers (six crackers) between breakfast and lunch
1 fat free chocolate pudding cup after lunch
1 cup of coffee with skim milk as my afternoon pick-me-up
Exercise:
A little under 30 minutes on the treadmill, ran 2.8 miles
30 minutes of P90X, legs and back
 
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Hey Laura,

Glad to see you posting daily again! I hope you keep it up while I'm gone and looking forward to following along again when I get back. New guy sounds great and I hope it works out for you too! I love it that he got you going to swimming lessons!
Great work with getting the running going again - it will get easier if you keep it consistent!! Take care and keep that water up!! See you April 1st!:grouphug:
 
Laura I am SO impressed with you actually going thru with the swimming lessons! That's awesome! I can swim enough to hopefully keep myself from drowning, but don't think I could save someone else if I had to. And I absolutely HATE it! I HATE having my face in the water. I wear glasses and am blind as a bat without them, and you can't exactly wear them while swimming (at least I haven't found a way to do it without them falling off - not to mention they get all wet and I can't see either). I sometimes wear contacts, but they are super expensive for me because I have to have special weighted ones - and I'd be too afraid to wear them in water in case I lost them. Plus I hate looking like a drowned rat with my hair wet and hanging in my face, and with no make up on! SCARY!!! Believe me!

I LOVE the quote about being a runner. I started running for the first time in my life last June, but I still keep thinking am I really a runner? Naa... I can't be - I don't go very fast, and it doesn't seem like I go very far either. And I've only been doing it for less than a year, so I couldn't possibly be a runner - right? I feel like such a pretender for some reason... It's kind of weird for me to think that yes, I AM a runner!

I can't believe the run around you got with the TV delivery! I would have be SO PISSED!!! Do they have no consideration for people's valuable time???? I'm glad you got something good out of it though!

Hope things are going great for you!
 
Hi Tig! I'm really proud I am finally learning to swim, too. Boyfriend (yes, it is official) definitely nudged me in the right direction there. I hate all of those things you mentioned, too! Thankfully my glasses are a very low prescription, so not wearing them is only an issue if Lifeguard goes towards the other end of the pool and tries to show me something. He told me to get goggles so I can open my eyes underwater... That was after I swam right into the wall when I was trying to go straight. And nose plugs. I forgot to get either, but I want to be able to go to the beach without equipment, so I suppose that is for the best. But yeah, I am so self-conscious about the drowned rat/no make-up look!! Nothing I can do about that, though.

I hear you about the whole "Am I really a runner?" thing. Doing races helped me feel like I fit the persona better, but still, I've topped out at 6.5 miles.... At 5.7/5.8 mph. But trust me, you are a runner! We both are. Talking to non-runners also helps because you realize you don't have to compare yourself to marathoners. THEY are the exceptions, not us.
 
Monday:

Breakfast:
Post-workout: Banana + 1.5 cups soy milk with 1.5 servings [3 tbsp] light choc. syrup
At work: Iced coffee with skim milk + homemade apple cinnamon muffin (roughly 200 calories, much better than a 600 calorie muffin from the coffee shop)
Lunch:
1 serving of no sugar added applesauce
2 servings (1 full can) of Healthy Request vegetable beef soup (240 calories total)
Dinner:
1 serving of tortilla chips with a little bit of leftover dip (refried beans, cheese, salsa, sour cream)
1 lean cuisine (chicken parm)
Desserts/Snacks:
8 oz of mint herbal tea
1 mini Reese’s cup
Iced coffee with skim milk
1 apple cinnamon muffin (roughly 200 calories)
[The previous stuff was all throughout the day at work… the rest was all in a disgusting emotion-filled eating frenzy]
1 serving of gummy bears
3 double stuffed Oreos
1 too-big piece of chocolate cake (only one piece left, thank goodness)

Exercise:
6.5 mile run on the treadmill, plus 5 minute warm-up and 5 minute cool-down. I didn’t run Saturday or Sunday so I wanted yesterday morning to be GOOD. And it was! Every once in a while I have to really remind myself that it’s not about pace, it’s about getting the miles in. So I ran at 5.7 for a half hour, 5.8 for about 25 minutes, and 5.9 through the end. My goal was only 6 miles but I felt good… no need to stop. I took a tiny break after 1.5 miles to reset the treadmill (it automatically cools you down after an hour, therefore I need to stop it and start it back up again when I’m doing long distances). Stretched, too, as my ankle is still bothering me.

Water intake was around 40 oz plus the 8 oz of tea, if you’re counting that (it’s decaf, so I’m counting it).

The weekend wasn’t great as far as food goes, that’s for sure. New Boyfriend and I both WANT to eat nice and healthy, and workout (in his case) or run (in my case) at least four times a week. Somehow it never happens though. Friday night I went out with co-workers. Lots of drinks, a few nachos. And I had one piece of pizza that boyfriend picked up on the way home. That’s one good thing about my drinking habits, I don’t come home and stuff my face afterwards. Saturday we said we were going to have a “light” meal to tide us over before making nachos that night. That turned into cheeseburgers, fries, and frosties at Wendy’s. Our stomachs weren’t quite up to the full nachos later, so we just made some dip with refried beans, cheese, salsa, etc. Basically nachos in dip form, haha. Sunday we planned on having sandwiches, and then I saw there was a Five Guys near the sandwich place we wanted, so unfortunately we ended up there… more burgers and fries. Had the nachos that night, with steak. Basically it was a weekend full of bar-food. NOT good. We talked about our need to eat healthier on Sunday; hopefully we can push each other in the right direction.

Clearly I need to work on eating only one dessert at a time, and not letting my emotions determine my eating. I think writing out when and why I’m eating things (and being totally honest about it all) will help that. Hopefully.
 
Tuesday:

Breakfast:
1 cup of coffee with skim milk
1 banana (around 90 cal)
Lunch:
PBJ (with reduced sugar jam)
1 Fat Free yogurt (110 cal)
Dinner:
2 servings (1 can) of soup (320 calories total)
Desserts/Snacks:
1 packet of apples & cinnamon oatmeal around 11am. (110 cal)
1 NSA hot chocolate… I had a MAJOR sweets craving and thought this was a good compromise. (60 cal)
2 Skinny Cow ice cream cones (Did I need two? Of course not) (300 cal total)
1 Fat Free Yogurt + banana + chopped walnuts (had this "instead" of a second Skinny Cow.... then went back for the second Skinny Cow :()(around 330 calories)
Exercise:
NONE

Pound4Pound – Thanks for dropping in! I’m just sort of adding in calories if I know them… Someone once pointed out that most of the bad stuff you eat will have calories written right on them (like my old nemesis, pints of Ben & Jerry’s!) I figure with knowing that I just ate 1200 calories of ice cream in one sitting, I can get a PRETTY good idea of how I did for the day (ie NOT GOOD!) I did the full-out calorie counting thing for a while last fall when I was beginning my weight loss routine, but definitely fell out of that. It was SO helpful though. Even if you only do it for a little while, you get a better idea of things, and it helps because you become conscious of what serving sizes are. The food scale was my best friend! And still is, really, even though my weight-loss has totally stalled. Isn’t emotional eating the worst??? Your mind is so caught up elsewhere that you’re not even remotely thinking about what’s good for your body. That’s when I like to have healthier alternatives for things. Low-fat ice cream instead of Ben & Jerry’s, that way if I end up eating 4 ice cream bars, at least that’s, say, 600 calories instead of the 1200 I would have eaten in the past.

I found out yesterday afternoon that the ex knows about the new boyfriend, and I also found out that he’s dating someone new himself. I am genuinely happy for him, and even asked to hear a little about her. And after seven years together, he was able to be honest with me and tell me he didn’t really want to hear about the new guy! We were always good as friends, but a romantic relationship just wasn’t working for us. He seems to understand much better now why I felt the way I did, and said he was glad that I had the guts to break out of my comfort zone and “do what I knew was best for us.” It meant a lot to me to hear that from him, and I feel much less guilty about being happy again so quickly.
 
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Hey Laura - thanks for popping in my diary - wanted to drop in and show my support to you.

Wow - you are almost at your goal weight - super. I tried to get through all of your diary - but there are so many pages, that I would not be able to drop in for a hello for quite a while. I will continue through a little each week.

Keep up the great work!
 
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