Veronique's Diary

April 28 2010

Ok so two day left till weight day and I only got mabe an hour of real exercise for my whole week. I am so pissed off at myself, it's like I had this routine for the last couple months and now it's gone. Yesterday I had to fold laundry and try to get as much as possible done so that I could hide the rest so that my mother in law doesn't touch my laundry, my husband says she is just trying to help but come on if someone says to you " I am gratefull for the help, but I would rather do my own laundry since I am kind ocd when it comes to what goes in the wash with what at what temperature, plus I pay a lot of money for laundry soap that will not make my daughters eczema flair up or my own skin itchy and it's consentrated and you need a lot less then a store brand, so please do not touch my laundry. Why would you keep doing it I am so close to buying a lock for my laundry room and keeping the key on me at all times....If she doesn't do it she just bring all my laundry downstairs and empties my laundry basket all in my machine everything mixed that annoys me what does it mater if it's all in the basket. At the same time she has a very bad knee and stairs are painfull for her annyways this summer she won't have the time to come by my house since she will be camping from thursday nights to sunday so my frustrations about that are almost over. In other news....my baby boy is walking on his own!!!!! he walked from the kitchen all the way to the living room with out any help lol his little eyes just lit up it was great!!! When he got to me he started clapping and sais yay!!!lol he is such a cutie, and my daugther the future cheer leader was jumping up and down lol! Last night I ran up and down the stair for about 15 min (I did stop when I was out of breath) but that was it! Tonight I have to make me time to do some abs and leg and arm toning exercise, and I have to start looking for a dvd player for my living room so I can start doing the hip hop abs again there just isn't enough room in my house for it, I should try doing my Shape again it's just that everytime I try to do it and can't finish even 15 min I get hard on my self and just want to quit everything, but since I am not buying any new clothes until i get to the 172lb that is my 20lb lost then I better get my but in gear cause I will be wearing long pants and sweaters all summer at this rate. I wish I had a friend I could work out with I miss having girl time my friends don't live close to where I live and they all have there own lives, I haven't seen my best friend since last july I hate it I feel like I am always trapped at home like this weekend I am once again stuck at home with the kids cause the husband is working but if I want to go out and visit a friend then I have to be back in time for supper cause he "misses the kids" when in fact he will be dead tired and will fall asleep while we eat supper cause he is not even hungry till 8pm, I am getting tired of this crap, he is my husband not my father why does he think he can decide when I have to come home, I feel like I could just scream, I am tired going to work going home going to work going home, and I need more then just outing to the parks, when I tell him that he says well you are a mom now that what you have to do. Last week I wanted to get my hair cut but he said wait till saturday so I said ok then on Saturday he tell me to bring the kids with me. I can't bring a 1yrs old in a salon and leave him with no supervision while I am getting my hair cut, some people do that but then the kids start talking to other people and some people don't like that I understand they are my kids and I should not unload them on people at the hairdresser. Annyways my rant is over I will be back later to do my usuall entry after my invoicing is over.
 
I need to start tracking better too and measuring! It's so easy to say that looks like one cup!
Your weekend sounded so peaceful and fun! I'm glad the dog came back too!
Sometimes I wish I had a computer at home because there are times I would love to log in for some motivation or support when tempting situations arise - good for you for resisting the cookie!! I'm so proud and it's really motivating! Keep it up Veronique!
 
Rant on, sometimes we need to do that, and you have every right, it's your diary. I also had a very bad day yesterday, and my fiance and I have split up. I said to myself that I am not going to let this stand in my way, I am going to lose weight and have a great summer, even if it's only 5 or 10 pounds by the time it gets here! You need to hook up with your friends, invite them over or something, that is ridiculous that you have to stay in the house when you are not working. That is stress buildup, trust me, I know and I feel it for you. You just want to shake loose and scream sometimes. Keep your head up, and continue to do well for yourself, and get out of the HOUSE!
 
chubbygirl said:
I need to start tracking better too and measuring! It's so easy to say that looks like one cup!
Your weekend sounded so peaceful and fun! I'm glad the dog came back too!
Sometimes I wish I had a computer at home because there are times I would love to log in for some motivation or support when tempting situations arise - good for you for resisting the cookie!! I'm so proud and it's really motivating! Keep it up Veronique!
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Thank you!!! I wish it worked everytime lol!
 
njoyabl said:
Rant on, sometimes we need to do that, and you have every right, it's your diary. I also had a very bad day yesterday, and my fiance and I have split up. I said to myself that I am not going to let this stand in my way, I am going to lose weight and have a great summer, even if it's only 5 or 10 pounds by the time it gets here! You need to hook up with your friends, invite them over or something, that is ridiculous that you have to stay in the house when you are not working. That is stress buildup, trust me, I know and I feel it for you. You just want to shake loose and scream sometimes. Keep your head up, and continue to do well for yourself, and get out of the HOUSE!
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I know I need to get out of the house lol!!!! I just wish it didn't lead to an argument everytime.......Man lol sometimes it's like not only do they not get it they just plain don't want to. I am very sorry to hear about you and your fiance, I hope that you are doing all right, and I am glad that you are still determied to look after your health!!!! Ranting does feel good and when I do I feel less like turning to food for comfort, so I think that is a step in the right direction, I used to keep everything inside and then use food to make me feel better, but since January I have been doing that less and less so I am proud of myself for that. It's like I am finally seing food as fuel for my body and not as a friend, hopefully I get out of my rut soon, and I got to admit if I see 178.2 or higher on that scale comes friday I will not be happy!
I will be ranting big time! Thanks for stopping by!!!
 
ok so here is what the food looks like for today
Breakfast
Bagel again ( I need to start boiling eggs even if I don't like it it would be better one boil egg with half the bagel would be higher in protein and I could probably get used to the tast mabee add a bit of cheese to it) 6pts
coffee 2pts
no snack cause I forgot to bring myself some green tea

Lunch
same a yesterday 1 slice of Pizza (the last one) 4.5 pts
salad about 2 cups (I didn't really mesure) no dressing

snack
strawberry Activia yogourt 2pts
1/3 cup of granola 1pts ( I think I will have to recheck this)
1pb curves bar 1pts

Diner
Salad again
3oz of chicken BBQ probably with a bit of salsa or hot sauce on it (got to have some taste to it) 3pts
that is 20 pts so I might add 2tlsp of salad dressing tonight 2pts wich bring me to 22ptsSo that is it for my day! I need two good workouts I need out of my rut, I am kicking the hubby out for a couple of hours lol if only I could!
So I updated this cus I am so hungry this pm I ate a good lunch but was still hungry and even after snacking like crazy I still hungry good god I could eat a tofu bear lol! I didn't have any protein with my breakfast and I am now paying for it!
 
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Veronique,
I have 3 kids and my husband seems to always find reasons for me to stay home but I have to have some me time. It's not selfish and it's not wrong. Get out sometimes if you can. Even if it's only 30 mins. If you don't you will lose your mind.....
 
mrskt20 said:
Veronique,
I have 3 kids and my husband seems to always find reasons for me to stay home but I have to have some me time. It's not selfish and it's not wrong. Get out sometimes if you can. Even if it's only 30 mins. If you don't you will lose your mind.....
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The problem is not only him, I don't trust him alone with the kids. I am not afraid he will not treat them well it's just that he falls asleep all the time as soon as he sit in front of the tv he sleeps and I am terrified to come back home and have him asleep on the couch and my son fell down the stairs and his hurt and crying or both the kids got into something they are not supposed to and they are hurt or sick and there he is asleep peacfully on the coutch. Last fall I went to a job interview and left him alone with my son and I left at 7 am brought my daugther to day care went to my interview stayed there long came back at around 12:20 pm thinking my hubby would be feeding lunch to our son and nope hubby had put son down for a nap at 9 and fallen asleep on the couch my son usually slep 30 to 40 min in the morning only had probably been crying since 9:30 am. I was so angry and now I know I just can't trust the husband alone with the kids until they can care for themselves cause he is soo hard to wake up I even have a hard time, he says he is not doing this on purpose but I wonder if that is not just is way of not taking his responsabillity he blames it on being deaf and working weird hours, but I am thinking you know that if you lie down on the couch you will sleep so don't lie down on the couch it's not like he falls asleep while standing or playing his stupid video games.....Going in the relationship I knew he was deaf and to me it's not an issue we communicate well and outside of using the phone to call places being deaf doesn't really stop him to do anything (or shouldn't) Ok your ears are not working, you still got a brain and everything else an hearing person has so shouldn't stop a person from living normally it's just that often he uses that as an excuse and it's annoying cause if someone treats him differently because he is deaf then he gets pissed off, but then uses that as an excuse for thing like not staying alone with the kids not waking for night feedings (thank god my kids sleep throught the night at young ages) I will have to find a solution I don't really know anyone besides his familly in my area but they feed too much crap to my kids so I don't want them there too often, I may have to call my sister and have her take the kids for a weekend and I can go out with the girls. We will see I just know that I need to do something like that, I still need to go for that hair cut mabe tomorow after work we will see if they have any appointment available.
 
You did really good with food yesterday!! Congratulations. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time with the hubby. Maybe if you sit him down and talk this through, be assertive about you me time and how he needs to be responsible for kids during that time? I don't think 30mins everyday is asking for too much. Good luck with the rest of the weeek!!!
 
April 29 2010

Hello people, Happy thursday, I am in a much better mood today cause I worked out about 30 min last night the only down thing is that I did it at around 9:30 pm so I went to bed later then I like too but at least I got to work out! My daughter started having nightmares again, so sleep deprevation is starting to hit again lol.....I guess that is all part of the mommy game. I have work pilled on my desk so I got to make this quick.

today
Breakfast
granola, yogourt parfait (no strawberries today) 5pts
coffee 2pts

snack
green tea
mabe a curve pb bar 1pts

Lunch
2 cup salad with 2tbsp of dressing 2pts
Chicken Sandwich at least 5PTS (grilled chicken, thininibread, lettuce, Mustard, and Pesto 1tbsp)

Snack
Green Tea and if I am hungry a dark chocolat kashi bar 2PTS

Diner
Home Made Chicken Stew (wich is basically a whole chicken, oigion, carottes, potatoes sloww cooked in vegetable broth) I will have to calculat the point value but if I eat 3 oz of chicken
1 cup of carottes, and 1/2 a cup of oignion I think it would make 5 pts

that makes 22pts not snacking for me today especially since it's weight in tommorow I am so padlocking the fridge and anything else that contains food lol. The wheather is a bit on the cool side but still nice so I am hoping i will have time to go for a run/walk. If not I will do my usuall stair run and arm , leg and abs workout. I went for my walk at lunch time 30 min,,,,I have a coworker who always comes with me she is great but she is slowing me down she is a smoker so she ain't walking fast, it annoys me but at the same time I know this is the only exercise she get during her day and if i don't walk with her she won't, I also noticed that she is eating much healtheir lunches lately and she told me that it's because my lunches usually look so good that she doesn't want to eat junk food anymore. I can now say that my new lifestyle as affected someone positively! I have drank more then 44 oz of water so far I pleased with that!
 
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Nice job getting a work out in that late at night! It would be so hard for me to do the same. I guess I'm just a morning person though :) Lookin' good with everything.. you're doing great! I need to remember that green tea can count for a whole snack as well. In fact, I'm going to make tea for a snack today so I don't add on the points. Thanks!
~ Sarah
 
Yes, yes, yes, take your kids to your sister and have a girls night out! Hey, I'm doing that this weekend too. I have so much stress I feel it in my shoulders, so I'm taking a night out, it would be good fun. Great job on your food, I don't know anything about points, but it really looks like you ate well.

I feel you with the excuses for the (deaf) thing. Last summer there was a man in a wheel chair on the boardwalk in Ocean City ( I love Ocean City, so many tourists) and he was just sitting there hanging out by the bathrooms. My brother had been drinking, but wasn't drunk, and all of a sudden he says to the guy, "Man, get up outta that wheel chair and walk, quit playing, you know you can walk! Let's race!"

I was like, omg, I cannot believe you just did that, but the guy in the wheel chair burst into laughter, saying, "Man I wish I could." He loved it, shaking my brother's hand and everything. People with disabilities don't want to be treated any different. I'm smiling thinking about that day, you never know what will touch you or change your life and thinking in the slightest. Have a good day.
 
skkroll said:
Nice job getting a work out in that late at night! It would be so hard for me to do the same. I guess I'm just a morning person though :) Lookin' good with everything.. you're doing great! I need to remember that green tea can count for a whole snack as well. In fact, I'm going to make tea for a snack today so I don't add on the points. Thanks!
~ Sarah
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At the moment the only time I have to work out is at night because I am already up at 5 am and I barely get to the bus on time (usually only with a few min to spare) Also I am so not a morning person, I wanted to try working out in the morning so I tried to fit it in and to get in a 45 min workout I would have to get up at 4 am work out right away get in the shower at 4:45 then get dress hair done the usuall morning routine. I don't know that I could actually get up at 4 am and still have energy to deal with my 3yrs old at night I would probably have to get to bed at 7:30 myself lol.....I am sure my husband would love that ....he already hates it that I go to bed at 9 and leave him alone to watch tv.
 
njoyabl said:
Yes, yes, yes, take your kids to your sister and have a girls night out! Hey, I'm doing that this weekend too. I have so much stress I feel it in my shoulders, so I'm taking a night out, it would be good fun. Great job on your food, I don't know anything about points, but it really looks like you ate well.

I feel you with the excuses for the (deaf) thing. Last summer there was a man in a wheel chair on the boardwalk in Ocean City ( I love Ocean City, so many tourists) and he was just sitting there hanging out by the bathrooms. My brother had been drinking, but wasn't drunk, and all of a sudden he says to the guy, "Man, get up outta that wheel chair and walk, quit playing, you know you can walk! Let's race!"
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LOL that reminds me .....Every year my familly host a familly only golf tournament (the only time you will find me on a golf course) Usually it's at the begining of October and in 2006 I couldn't really play cause I was due to give birth on the 28 of that same month no way I would have even seen the ball let alone hit it .....so my hubby brought his brother instead and they where set to play with my sister and a friend of hers cause her hubby hurt his shoulder or something and my sister was feeling a bit akward since they don't sign or anything and didn't want to have my hubby feeling out so no one really talk . At some point my brother in law tells my husband hey you should aim over there my hubby turn around looks at his brother and says I am deaf not blind! My sis her her friend started laughing like crazy lol!!!!! That kind of broke the ice!
 
I agree with others that I think you do very well when it comes to your diet! Your always making sure you have points left for dinner and when you don't have lots you pick salad and dipping your fork in the dressing is major dedication! I can't wait to follow you along as you get to your goal of 166! I also can't wait to hear how trying on your wedding dress goes! Thanks for all your support and keep up the great work!! You have made great progress since January!
 
chubbygirl said:
I agree with others that I think you do very well when it comes to your diet! Your always making sure you have points left for dinner and when you don't have lots you pick salad and dipping your fork in the dressing is major dedication! I can't wait to follow you along as you get to your goal of 166! I also can't wait to hear how trying on your wedding dress goes! Thanks for all your support and keep up the great work!! You have made great progress since January!
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Thanks Lisa, you are such an ispiration to me, you are doing exactly what I had started back in November of 2005 when I was planning my wedding, before I found out I had a little one on the way, it's nice too see someone suceeding!!!! I can't wait to try it on either, I might even bring my camera with me lol and post a few pics!
 
Arpil 30th 2010

Hello and happy Friday! Ok so i weighted myself yesterday and I am still at 178.2 altought I am glad I didn't gain I am gettin annoyed at being stuck here and not seing results.....I ate Pizza for 3 meals this week and only exercised twice so I should not be surprised. I am still pissed but if you want results you got to work for them right? This week I started mesuring more but still not everything...I am thinking of buying a kitchen scale and really tweek things, and on the 15 of next month I want to get my bike ready to go out if money permits...I have roller blades but I am unable to stop I can't firgure out how and I don't think it would be safe for me to be on the rd plus how do I bring the kids along...with my bike I go the trailer, April was a wash so May as got to be better that is all I am not quitting, I just need to make more me time and stop stressing about my weight loss all the time, mabe that is why it's not working for me this time it's all I think about and last time I was planning awedding I didn't have time to think about it all the time i had planning to do!

Today
Breakfast
Muffin 6pts (forgot to eat this)
coffee 2pts

Snack
I ate chips needed salty to settle my stomach I had maybee 15 -20 chipsabout 6 pts
Green Tea

Lunch
A frozen meal Bankock Chicken 5pts scratch this chicken shawarma for I figure 10pts

Snack
Green Tea
if I am hungry a kashi Bar 2pts Ok so I am not having a snack cause I ate 10pts at lunch

Diner
Chicken Stew 5pts
25PTS because of my bad choice for lunch I now am over by 3 pts I did do 30 min of moderate exercise this morning so that would give me 2 activity points. So if I stick to this I will be one point over so I am gonna nee to workout tonight !!!!!
I did some speed walking for 30 min inside the mall this morning waitting for a co worker to pick me up (The rd I usually take to walk to work is closed this week for construction so I have to get a ride) I walk very fast with my very heavy back pack on my pack that has got to be worth some activity point at least one. I plan to go again at lunch since my coworker will not be there I can walk faster then usuall. Tonight I think I will have a 30 min dance party with my daughter she loved it last time we did that, i just put my Ipod on the docking station and we just dance lol!!! She is so cute when she dances I think I want to register her for clases next winter in January once she is used to going to school! That should help start an healthy life style if she find an exercise she loves to do , I loved dance class as a kid and was really sad when my teacher retired and could no longer do it! i got to start my invoicing then I can catch up on others Diary.
 
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Verobc said:
I am still pissed but if you want results you got to work for them right?
I have roller blades but I am unable to stop I can't firgure out how and I don't think it would be safe for me to be on the rd plus how do I bring the kids along
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RIGHT!! It takes hard work! I said those exact words to my hunnie this morning when I stepped on the scale and was finally back to the weight I was last week! Still though it's the same as last week and I would like to be lower! The last two days I worked hard and it showed on the scale so I just have to keep at it and not slip up over the weekend. It's funny because when I say hard work I'm not just talking about exercising and busting a sweat but watching what you eat is really hard work too! And resisting temptations is even harder work but it's what shows results so we just got to keep it up and be consistent!
I can't stop on roller blades either!! All my friends in highschool got into roller blading so I thought I would give it a try but I sucked when it came to cracks in the road or down hills but especially stopping - I would have to look for some grass and head towards it to stop - it always ended in me falling and I was really turned off and gave my roller blades away! Hopefully you can get your bike on the road because that would be fun with the kids in the trailer! I always envied the moms that did that and hope to do that with my kids too!
We are going to rock May and track every day and measure and exercise when we can!! Let's do it! Here's to a new month!!! Have a great weekend!
 
OMG, you do an awesome job of updating your diary, I had to go back like four pages to catch up lol. You have been having a rough time lately, but at least you realize the mistakes you are making and now you can get back on track. At least you have stuck at the same weight and you are not going backwards.

I know how you feel not being able to get out of the house. I work from home and then have all four boys at home at night, so there is no escaping. Hopefully when I return to school for nursing in October I will begin to feel a little less like a hermit.

We both need a kick in the butt about the exercise. At least you are super busy. I could exercise anytime during the day since I am at home and can take a break from work when I like, but I still find a way around it.

I still think you are doing great and your dinners are always so inventive and different. Keep up the hard work and I know that scale will start going down and you will have a summer wardrobe in no time!
 
Thanks Girl!!!

Dinsney mom....I am thinking that if I spent half the time I spend on my journal exercising lol I would get better results lol! Since the boss will not go for a threadmill behind the reception desk, I have to come on here often so I don't start munching on crap! I try to cook something new a least once a week that way I don't get bored and give up this lifestyle I am slowly starting to enjoy cooking.

Lisa thanks again for the kind word, I am glad to see I am not the only one who can't do roller blading but damn it I am not giving up I will succeed lol I might start practicing in the parking lot of the store i live next to they just repaved and they close at 8pm so it should be safe enough. I am with you i have to work hard at eating good and at working out more. I find that when I work out I don't crave junk as much because why work hard when you are just gona waste it on junk, but when I have a lousy week exercise wize then I have all the cravings in the world.

Ok so This morning I got soo busy with work I forgot to eat my muffin and there was some problem with the damn system and I had to go get help from a coworker who either doesn't know or care about personal hygene. If you mix her stench to the fact that I had skipped breakfast I started feeling like I was gonna throw up and pass out (probably from trying to hold my breath in) I tried eating the muffin but that just made it worst so I went across to the train station to get some salty nuts(the only thing that stabalized my stomach when I feel like that is salty) they only had the non salted nuts so I ended up eating chips and a 7up. We have complained about that coworker for years (7 in my case) and the boss talk to her 2 years ago and it got much better for like 2 months then back to the stench....Would it be rude if the staff bought her shower gel, shampoo, deodorant, laundry soap and softner and put it in a basket for her to find on her desk one morning.....I don't know how much more of the freaking smell I can take, she said something about not fitting in her shower but come on build a bigger one of just install a shower head in you bath tub there is no excuse, Use the sink and give yourself a sponge bath. I have two kids and travel 1 hour to and back from work and I have time to shower so nothing excuses her lack of hygene.
 
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