txsqlchick's diary

[txsqlchick]

I'm new on this journey and I've only lost about 10 lbs so far. The weekends have been bad because I've gone out to eat with friends/family and have had to be extra good during the week to keep losing. This weekend hasn't been any better.

My fiance, whom I met last year and had been living with me, left me in early July (right before my birthday, jerk) and we finally ended it for good this past week. He's bipolar and had gone off his meds a couple of times and that's what really killed the relationship. His behavior when off the meds was something I simply couldn't accept. I knew he couldn't help it, but the simple fact that he knew he'd get that way if he stopped taking them...then stopped taking them...was enough. I started to lose faith in him around February and it only went downhill from there. He got back on his meds and was OK, but then went off them again. I had enough. Both of us were sort of waiting for the other to pull the trigger on our relationship and it finally happened, but I had moved on months ago in my own mind.

So, I'm dating again.

But back to weight loss...I am bringing my own lunch to work most days instead of eating out like I used to, and I'm trying to make it healthy...turkey sandwiches on wheat bread with lots of fresh fruit and veggies. Dinners are usually turkey burgers and vegetables or a frozen low-calorie dinner.

I go to the gym 5 days a week. On weekdays I usually go with a workout partner from work and we work out for half an hour. We can't do any more than that, otherwise we'd take too much time out of the middle of the day. On weekends, I work out for longer (40-50 minutes) because I don't have any time constraints.

My goal is to get to 150 lbs by early next year. It seems so daunting and intimidating, yet so many here have done it so I will try to draw inspiration from their stories.

 

[TiffanyDow]

10 Pounds seems daunting, but I'd LOVE to have already lost 10 pounds! I'm happy for you. I was telling the people on my diet blog the other day that it's those 10s you want to have as milestones - the 250s, 240s, 230s, it's such a big deal to have that tens place change and right now, I'm at 261 pounds and just dying to get to the 250s!

I was going to give up weekends for R&R but I may not. Sounds like you do well on the weekends and maybe I ought to use that time to hit it harder, too. Hmmm...Will have to check.

I have 20 pounds to ose to get to your weight - just remember - your CURRENT weight is always someone else's goal. Doesn't help, does it? LOL! Me neither - I always hated that kind of inspirational speak, because if you feel fat, you really don't care if someone else would love to be you. ha ha.

Sorry to hear about your fiance - ick! Maybe it's a good thing, with the bi-polar situation. Could have had long-term complications for you with him. Many people often go off when they think they're well.

Chins up as my mother says to me!
Tiff

 

[txsqlchick]

10 Pounds seems daunting, but I'd LOVE to have already lost 10 pounds! I'm happy for you. I was telling the people on my diet blog the other day that it's those 10s you want to have as milestones - the 250s, 240s, 230s, it's such a big deal to have that tens place change and right now, I'm at 261 pounds and just dying to get to the 250s!

I was going to give up weekends for R&R but I may not. Sounds like you do well on the weekends and maybe I ought to use that time to hit it harder, too. Hmmm...Will have to check.

I have 20 pounds to ose to get to your weight - just remember - your CURRENT weight is always someone else's goal. Doesn't help, does it? LOL! Me neither - I always hated that kind of inspirational speak, because if you feel fat, you really don't care if someone else would love to be you. ha ha.

Sorry to hear about your fiance - ick! Maybe it's a good thing, with the bi-polar situation. Could have had long-term complications for you with him. Many people often go off when they think they're well.

Chins up as my mother says to me!
Tiff

You're right about the bipolar thing; no offense to anyone here who suffers from it because it's nobody's fault they are bipolar, but people who are need to be responsible about taking their medication. I could not trust him to take his. That's a dealbreaker; he was insufferable when off the medication and I was miserable. He was so wonderful and charming when we first met and that's the person I miss. I'll get over it though.

I had a nice lunch date on Saturday and a nice coffee date today, so who knows. Right now I'm trying to be positive about being 33, childless, and single.

Whereabouts in Texas are you, btw? Dallas here.

 

[Camy]

Welcome!
Let us know what you are doing in terms of diet and what exercise you do. People here are great, they aren't experts, but they have been there, which is so much more important.

Being single is hard, but see it as a period to discover again what YOU are really like. We sometimes lose ourselves in relationships and then we melt into other people and stop knowing what we like and what he likes and where you start and he stops. Go and do all those things you loved doing but stopped because he wasn't fond of (I would go to an ice-capade if I was single!), so you do not feel so miserable.

Have a great week, Camy

 

[txsqlchick]

I ate 1443 calories today. Not sure how to calculate how many I burned though.

 

[txsqlchick]

Weighed myself this morning...my being good paid off! I lost another pound!

Starting weight: 256.6

Current weight: 245.6

 

[maleficent]

I ate 1443 calories today. Not sure how to calculate how many I burned though.

That's a little low given your current weight...

Check the stickied thread in nutrition - that will give you a link to the harris benedict formula which will give you an approximate idea of how many calories a day your body burns.

and how many you should be taking in

And I've said it before - don't get too hung up on a specific number because that number is never going to be accurate for your body... it will be different from day to day..

 

[txsqlchick]

That's a little low given your current weight...

Check the stickied thread in nutrition - that will give you a link to the harris benedict formula which will give you an approximate idea of how many calories a day your body burns.

and how many you should be taking in

And I've said it before - don't get too hung up on a specific number because that number is never going to be accurate for your body... it will be different from day to day..

That's all I wanted to eat. I wasn't very hungry. I thought I was supposed to be listening to my body; yesterday, my body said to me "I'm not very hungry, please don't stuff me full of food."

 

[TiffanyDow]

Yea! That's exactly the type of program my nutritionist taught me and that I'm following. Good for you I'm in Kennedale, by the way - and my sister is in the same boat - 30s, childless, and single - a bit panicked about it. But today, more women wait for all that untl their 30s anyway. I wish I had!! Sounds like you're doing great already on the dating scene - you're braver than I would be if I were single.

 

[txsqlchick]

Yea! That's exactly the type of program my nutritionist taught me and that I'm following. Good for you I'm in Kennedale, by the way - and my sister is in the same boat - 30s, childless, and single - a bit panicked about it. But today, more women wait for all that untl their 30s anyway. I wish I had!! Sounds like you're doing great already on the dating scene - you're braver than I would be if I were single.

I've kind of come to terms with the fact that I probably will never have children. It's very difficult to find men who are ADULTS and willing to make ADULT COMMITMENTS, and I have no desire to raise a child as a single mother. I don't think I'd be very good at it.

The dating scene isn't really scary; it's more annoying than anything else. I think despite being fat I'm a good catch in many ways. I'm smart, strong, funny, independent, and I make good money so I'm not looking for a man to take care of me. I don't want to wait until I slim down to start dating. That could be a very long time! Plus, if a guy can't accept me the way I am now would I really want him? It's not like I'd meet a guy at 130 lbs and he'd never find out I used to be fat. For some guys it's not enough that you're slender; you have to never have been fat. To hell with that. I don't want to have to starve myself for the rest of my life to please some man who will probably move on to a younger trophy in ten years anyway.

 

[txsqlchick]

Weighed myself this morning....244.8 lbs! That's 11.8 pounds lost since the second week in July. Yippee!

In other news my ex, to whom I had not spoken since last week, texted me yesterday and told me that we needed to talk, but "not tonight" and could we meet soon. We're meeting at my place tonight. I assume he's going to give me the breakup speech, but I assume we already broke up so whatever.

 

[funshine]

I don't care to eat much when I'm upset either...it just kills my appetite. Funny how people get all concerned when we aren't stuffing our faces but they never say anything otherwise. lol.

Good job on the weightloss...keep up the good work!

Really being in your 30's isn't that old. I'm 26 soon to be 27 in a couple weeks. I always thought...get married by 25, kids by 28, blah blah blah...yeah not anymore. I got married 4 years ago (at 250lbs), and we have completely changed our minds about kids...now we wanna wait until we are in our 30's as we just don't want the responsiblity of a child now. It's not that uncommon to wait until your 30's anymore either.

I hope that things go well tonight. I mean as well as they can be. It sounds like you know what is best for you and so just stay strong and follow through with that!

 

[txsqlchick]

I don't care to eat much when I'm upset either...it just kills my appetite. Funny how people get all concerned when we aren't stuffing our faces but they never say anything otherwise. lol.

Good job on the weightloss...keep up the good work!

Really being in your 30's isn't that old. I'm 26 soon to be 27 in a couple weeks. I always thought...get married by 25, kids by 28, blah blah blah...yeah not anymore. I got married 4 years ago (at 250lbs), and we have completely changed our minds about kids...now we wanna wait until we are in our 30's as we just don't want the responsiblity of a child now. It's not that uncommon to wait until your 30's anymore either.

I hope that things go well tonight. I mean as well as they can be. It sounds like you know what is best for you and so just stay strong and follow through with that!

It's different when you're 33 with no prospects vs 27 with a husband. When I was 27 I was married too and I never thought this would happen to me.

Did my regular workout at the gym. I feel tired and a little sore.

Tonight my ex-fiance is coming over to talk. I'm 99% sure he's going to give me the breakup speech which is fine with me because I assumed we'd already broken up anyway. Way to fuck up my day, though. It's all I'm thinking about. Mostly I'm thinking about what I'm going to say to him to hurt his ass.

 

[maleficent]

is there a ring involved and are you keeping it?

and 33 is far from over the hill -you're not even close to being in your prime - go out and have fun (mother mal says, always use protection though )

 

[txsqlchick]

is there a ring involved and are you keeping it?

There was (a family heirloom) and I returned it to him.

and 33 is far from over the hill -you're not even close to being in your prime - go out and have fun (mother mal says, always use protection though )

Would you be offended if I said I didn't really feel like it? I've had enough fun. I want to settle down and have a family.

 

[Iwan naloseit]

I know how you feel. A few years ago I was 27, a single mom and desperate to find a guy to settle down. even then I thought I was turing into an old lonely hag and ready to invest in 20 cats and a house coat. chin up, if you think you are a catch then you ARE, now get out there and catch something!

 

[txsqlchick]

I know how you feel. A few years ago I was 27, a single mom and desperate to find a guy to settle down. even then I thought I was turing into an old lonely hag and ready to invest in 20 cats and a house coat. chin up, if you think you are a catch then you ARE, now get out there and catch something!

I do think I'm a catch! Any guy would be lucky to have me; I'm smart, funny, cute, a good cook, and in general I'm pretty laid-back and low-maintenance.

I'm every dude's dream girl except for my bod.

 

[txsqlchick]

1386 calories today. Had to force down dinner (400 calories) after the ridiculous convo I had with my ex-fiance where he told me why we broke up. Said he didn't want to get married again to anyone (yeah right) and didn't want any more kids (given how bratty his are, I kind of get that).

Whatever, I'm over him. I thought I'd be more upset but I'm really not. Basically now I hate him, and I can and will do better. It's just too bad I wasted a year with that asswipe.

 

[Iwan naloseit]

I do think I'm a catch! Any guy would be lucky to have me; I'm smart, funny, cute, a good cook, and in general I'm pretty laid-back and low-maintenance.

I'm every dude's dream girl except for my bod.

And lucky for you its easier to change your bod then to learn to cook, change your personality become funny, cute and smart...you've got it made.

1386 calories today. Had to force down dinner (400 calories) after the ridiculous convo I had with my ex-fiance where he told me why we broke up. Said he didn't want to get married again to anyone (yeah right) and didn't want any more kids (given how bratty his are, I kind of get that).

Whatever, I'm over him. I thought I'd be more upset but I'm really not. Basically now I hate him, and I can and will do better. It's just too bad I wasted a year with that asswipe.

Lol, bratty kids? RUN!!!!

 

[txsqlchick]

And lucky for you its easier to change your bod then to learn to cook, change your personality become funny, cute and smart...you've got it made.

True, but it's not easy to change the bod. I don't mean to sound arrogant, I'm just being honest. I never stay single for long. Doesn't mean I meet the right guys, but I don't usually have that much trouble getting dates. Must be something to that. It took a long timej for me to have any confidence in myself or love for myself but once I got over all the shit I went through as a kid (mostly due to being overweight and geeky), I was like "fuck that shit, I'm a GOOD person."

Lol, bratty kids? RUN!!!!

And a nasty ex-wife who, in retrospect, was right all along about him being a fucking asshole. Too bad I don't have her number or e-mail address. I'd let her know she was 100% right.