Trevor's Journey

WOW, what a fun weekend. Needless to say, im super tired and have a million things to do this week. Three Tests as well as packing some stuff up to take home on Thursday because school is almost done!! My parents just bought a bow flex as well so im going to give that a try. This is my first official week back on track and im excited to finally finish what i worked so hard to start. College scene is hard to adapt to, especially when you have party roommates and they want you to join in on the fun. It was fun to take a break from my diet and be a little bad, but its time to start focusing again.

well i g2g, homework and cleaning at the moment, and i just thought all my friends would want to know where i was!

Trevor
 
How much longer until your school term ends? Mine is done in week (Can you believe it!). I think that there are exams going on for two weeks after that, but luckily I don't have any. I think some of you yankees have a bit longer of a term then us, though...
 
lusciouslemon said:
How much longer until your school term ends? Mine is done in week (Can you believe it!). I think that there are exams going on for two weeks after that, but luckily I don't have any. I think some of you yankees have a bit longer of a term then us, though...
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My term ends on May 2nd or 3rd....around there...

lucky you!!!! I cant wait to be done with this semester, its so frustrating!
 
Trev, I'm SO excited for you! Yey for school getting out in such a short while. I'd celebrate on the day, but I may be too tired from my Florida trip. You know what though, I'll take LOTS of pictures and send you well wishes and summer fun greetings in the form of Naples sunset pics. LOL.

Hey, it's GREAT that your parents got a Bowflex. What version is it, do you know? My father and I are badly wanting a Bowflex Extreme, but we cannot afford it right now. Instead, someone gave us a free weight bench, so we're looking at investing in cheep Free Weights and a pole. It's better than nothing. I can still grow muscle, so I'm good.

Congrats on having such a great weekend. It would seem I enjoyed myself immensely as well. The weather here on Fri/Sat was AMAZING. Now we're going to have to six days of rain...go figure.

Since your semester is getting over soon, I may just surprise you on my way back from Florida...did I happen to mention how I wanted to see Texas?...lol..;)

Happy beginning of the week, honey. I hope it's a good one for you.
 
Invariant said:
Trev, I'm SO excited for you! Yey for school getting out in such a short while. I'd celebrate on the day, but I may be too tired from my Florida trip. You know what though, I'll take LOTS of pictures and send you well wishes and summer fun greetings in the form of Naples sunset pics. LOL.

Hey, it's GREAT that your parents got a Bowflex. What version is it, do you know? My father and I are badly wanting a Bowflex Extreme, but we cannot afford it right now. Instead, someone gave us a free weight bench, so we're looking at investing in cheep Free Weights and a pole. It's better than nothing. I can still grow muscle, so I'm good.

Congrats on having such a great weekend. It would seem I enjoyed myself immensely as well. The weather here on Fri/Sat was AMAZING. Now we're going to have to six days of rain...go figure.

Since your semester is getting over soon, I may just surprise you on my way back from Florida...did I happen to mention how I wanted to see Texas?...lol..;)

Happy beginning of the week, honey. I hope it's a good one for you.
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Come on down Rach! You will love the weather, i promise :).

I'm so ready for school to be done!!! These are always the longest weeks of the semester for me, plus I still have a billion things to do before i can chime in summer time. I'm not sure which bowflex version it is, but i know its not the revolution, i will call them later and let you know tonight.

Well I could sit and talk for hours, but i have class in an hour and then a test to study for that I have at 4. I will update on food intake and exercise tonight.

Everyone have a nice day,
Trevor
 
Finally, time to update!

Overall today was a decent one. I stayed within my caloric goal and even got some exercise in. My test went well, and to say the least, im sick of studying. That puts me in a pickle considering i have another test tomorrow morning that i should be studying for at the moment, but i have decided to instead chat on the forums :).

My whole girl situation is over....and it ended horribly. The only good thing that came from it, was there was no need for us to talk about the situation because i caught her in a huge lie. To put it simple, she was just using me.....damn. I was basically a rebound. We had talked earlier and promised each other if we were going to go anywhere, that lying to each other wouldn't help. Well all of the sudden last Thursday she said she was going home for the weekend. It was perfectly fine with me, because i miss the hell at of home and thought she did too. Well it turns out she wasn't going home, but she was actually going to another college town to mess around with a guy she met the weekend before at her own party i left early from. I was crushed....and i felt used. I'm over it, but im still very angry for even letting myself get close to her.

Anyways, on a better note, im excited to go home this weekend, and to help set up the bow flex. It will be quite fun to use that thing this summer and its something im looking very forward too! Im also getting excited for my last day of work up here the weekend after this one. Its almost summer time!!! WOOHOOO

Well im off to the grocery, ya i know its late.....then to study

Everyone have sweet dreams and goodnight. See y'all tomorrow!!!
Trevor
 
Trevor, that's terrible! You're definitely better off without her, but what a nasty way to go. Some people are completely unmoral and heartless. I'll never understand people like that.



Invariant said:
Trev, I'm SO excited for you! Yey for school getting out in such a short while. I'd celebrate on the day, but I may be too tired from my Florida trip. You know what though, I'll take LOTS of pictures and send you well wishes and summer fun greetings in the form of Naples sunset pics. LOL.
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What was that Rae...something about pictures of nipples in the sunset... dirty, dirty girl!!! :D
 
Morning to all,

This morning i did not want to get out of bed whatsoever! It was one of those mornings where it was nice and dark in my room, and my bed was so comfortable and cool. When the alarm went off, it was like an annoying little brother, so i shut it off and went back to sleep for another hour. What i didn't realize was that i set my alarm for an hour early, so i could get up and study for my test at noon...oops.

Anyways, i just had my usual breakfast of oatmeal and egg whites and before class i plan on drinking some casein to hold me over until i get back to the apartment. I have work from 3 to 9 this afternoon and i cant say im too excited for it. Really, it doesn't matter how bad my week is because i know by the end of it, i will be back at home relaxing and away from all the drama in my life. Its a much needed trip, especially before my finals are here.

Today I'm shooting for 1800 calories, and i most likely will not work out since i work and have tons of homework! Well i guess i should probably get ready for class, so i wish everyone a nice day here on the forums.

Trevor
 
I have had a long day today...school, work, and i even managed to exercise a bit, which is better than nothing. Im mentally and physically tired as hell and i plan on going to bed fairly early tonight and sleeping in until 9 or 930. Im uber excited about home this weekend, and i definitely need it. I have been going through a lot of stuff lately, mainly some form of depression. I will explain later, but basically im going to see a psychiatrist this summer, because my parents are concerned. Even though i don't want to, im going to give it a try....all these years of being overweight has played a toll on me mentally and i cant get over it. This leads me to days where i just feel like dirt, and i don't want to do anything besides sit and stare into nowhere. This is a really tough situation for me to explain to everyone, so please....don't be freaked out by this. The only person who knows my entire situation is Rach, because i talk to her frequently. We just have a lot in common and for many reasons i trust her when i tell her things i don't want others either close to me or on these boards because im ashamed.
 
I have had a long day today...school, work, and i even managed to exercise a bit, which is better than nothing. Im mentally and physically tired as hell and i plan on going to bed fairly early tonight and sleeping in until 9 or 930. Im uber excited about home this weekend, and i definitely need it. I have been going through a lot of stuff lately, mainly some form of depression. I will explain later, but basically im going to see a psychiatrist this summer, because my parents are concerned. Even though i don't want to, im going to give it a try....all these years of being overweight has played a toll on me mentally and i cant get over it. This leads me to days where i just feel like dirt, and i don't want to do anything besides sit and stare into nowhere. This is a really tough situation for me to explain to everyone, so please....don't be freaked out by this. The only person who knows my entire situation is Rach, because i talk to her frequently. We just have a lot in common and for many reasons i trust her when i tell her things i don't want others either close to me or on these boards to know because im ashamed.
 
Depression is nothing to be ashamed of. It one of those things that sometimes just happens and we have to deal with it. I have suffered on and off with severe depression since I was 15. I always felt inferior for having this problem. It felt like it was all in my head and that I was being a big baby about it. As a result I went on and off treatment for years. Those low points were so hard. About eight years ago after a really nasty time, I finally decided to suck it up and go on meds permanently. It was the best thing I could have done (not that I'm advocating meds for everyone). I accepted the fact that my body's biology needed a bit of help because it wasn't up to the task. I finally went off my meds last summer. I feel awesome. I am glad that I stuck with them while I needed it. The best advice I can give:

1. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. It isn't fair that people suffering with depression have a stigma. It isn't your fault.

2. Find treatment in whatever form it takes (meds, psychiatrist, talking, etc) . Deal with it don't deny it.

3. You are an amazing person. You just can't always see it. Seek that person out in yourself. He is already there.

4. Keep talking about things. Don't internalize. Talk to Rae, she's awesome support! Not everyone has to know, but find a compassionate ear (Rae has two!).

I feel for you as someone who's been in a similar situation. If you ever have questions, want to talk, just pm me. I know we don't know each other well and you may not be comfortable with me, but I thought I'd throw it out there. Don't feel like you have to find a way to bow out of this offer gracefully. I won't be insulted and I don't have any expectations.
 
lusciouslemon said:
Depression is nothing to be ashamed of. It one of those things that sometimes just happens and we have to deal with it. I have suffered on and off with severe depression since I was 15. I always felt inferior for having this problem. It felt like it was all in my head and that I was being a big baby about it. As a result I went on and off treatment for years. Those low points were so hard. About eight years ago after a really nasty time, I finally decided to suck it up and go on meds permanently. It was the best thing I could have done (not that I'm advocating meds for everyone). I accepted the fact that my body's biology needed a bit of help because it wasn't up to the task. I finally went off my meds last summer. I feel awesome. I am glad that I stuck with them while I needed it. The best advice I can give:

1. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. It isn't fair that people suffering with depression have a stigma. It isn't your fault.

2. Find treatment in whatever form it takes (meds, psychiatrist, talking, etc) . Deal with it don't deny it.

3. You are an amazing person. You just can't always see it. Seek that person out in yourself. He is already there.

4. Keep talking about things. Don't internalize. Talk to Rae, she's awesome support! Not everyone has to know, but find a compassionate ear (Rae has two!).

I feel for you as someone who's been in a similar situation. If you ever have questions, want to talk, just pm me. I know we don't know each other well and you may not be comfortable with me, but I thought I'd throw it out there. Don't feel like you have to find a way to bow out of this offer gracefully. I won't be insulted and I don't have any expectations.
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Thanks for everything Lemon. I will definitely PM you if i ever need someone to talk to. I appreciate the support and all your honesty. Thanks, i needed that :)
 
Hi Trevor

I am sorry that you are being troubled by bouts of depression. It is good that you have a close friend in Rae that you feel comfortable about confiding things in.

Incidents like feeling that girl had used you will not help your self esteem and therefore contribute towards these negative feelings.

Also it is reasonable to think that uncertainty regarding your own physique (associated with your dramatic weight change) will not help matters.

It is great that you have made your parents aware that all is not right. They will want to look after you - and I think that some sort of counselling is a good idea. I think that you are right to agree to see a therapist as they suggest.

I have heard that cognitive therapy can be very useful for a number of things including depression and OCD. I believe that you can get books on cognitive therapy and it is a means by which you can teach yourself a new way of thinking.

I have known people think that they benefitted from the herb st johns wart - so it might be worth giving that a try.

Maybe meditation would help - greater tranquility can improve a host of problems.

When you consider the fact that you and Rae are such close friends, you have much in common, you are a similar age, both sweet natured, both intelligent, both gregarious, both good looking and both single - is it any wonder that Kimberly and I keep suggesting that the two of you would make a great couple.

I suspect that you will be the cause of Rae eating a lot of calories in the very near future - since you did make a pact of sorts.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
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Hi trevor, I suffer from depression as well (and a little OCD) it sucks

take good care of yourself (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
 
Hey bud,

I know you told me last night that you mentioned briefly on your journal some of the things you're going through, and I'm sorry I didn't get back here sooner. I was exhausted after chatting with you and just crashed.

Lemon is right hon. Don't be ashamed about being depressed, that fact that you've accepted that you are and that you're admitting it is a HUGE step.

Truth be told, about a year ago, I was in the same situation as you. I would want to do nothing but lay on my bedroom carpet and feel the bass of my 'Some Devil' album reverberate through the floor. I was manically depressed, for sure. I was constantly irritated by life in general and my steps were carried with a morose gait. In fact, it got so bad, that my father considered I see a doctor. I refused. Instead, I voiced to them that I recognized that I was in a funk, I was being pulled down by somekind of internal undertow I couldn't pin-point. Because of this, I suggested that I go away with some friends who were coming to visit. Of course, they jumped on the idea and for about a month, I lived in Ohio.

You know what? I got home and I was completely different. It was as if, just going away, caused my emotional ephiphany. I realized while I was gone that I couldn't ruin my life by being sour and moody here at home, and that I needed to get over my meglomanical assumptions about my future.

When I stepped back into my driveway after being gone, I was a different person. Going away was the best thing that happened to me. I was able to fully consider how I'd been treating everyone and how I must have been percieved by spectators and I didn't like that vision of myself. It wasn't-*isn't*-me, and I no longer wanted them to believe that I was an un-approachable person. Now I'm changed for the better, but I'm thinking the experience was a good one to have.

I got myself out of the funk by recognizing that I was stressing myself out and overwhelming my mind with needless clatter for no reason other than the fact that I stupidly wanted to be depressed. Don't ask why, I honestly don't know. It was a dumb period for me, and I'm so happy now that I've gotten through the better end of it.

I'm praying and hoping and urging that you do the same honey. Like Lemon, you know where to find me if you want to chat about anything ever. You've become a really good friend, and I care about ya'. I want you to be happy and prosperous. You're such a bright guy. You deserve better than this. You know this, too.

Big hugs, bud, big hugs!
 
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