chubbygirl
New member
Thanks for stopping by Ash - my dedication is down in the dumps today - as I knew it would be. Our Halloween party was a bit of a disappointment - whenever I get really excited for something it never turns out how I pictured it and it ruins it for me - I just need to stop getting so excited and go with the flow. I didn't take a single picture! I don't even know if anyone did - so all that hard work on my costume and not one picture to show for it. I drank too much and don't even really remember much from the night - my fiance found me at 12:30 sitting by myself and we called a cab - apparently I was feeling sorry for myself and I don't even know why.
Friday night I went and said good bye to my parents as they are snow birds and head South for the winter then I went home and did some serious house cleaning. I was in bed pretty early but not before I could eat my face off - I had like 5 pieces of WW toast with peanut butter and I wasn't even hungry. I woke up Saturday morning for my KettleBell class and felt so gross from all the snacking before bed. I did an hour Thai Chi class and then an hour KettleBell - the Kettle Bell was intense!! So many squats and push ups! Right after the gym I went and bought Halloween candy to hand out. I put it in a bowl and didn't have any for the first couple hours. As soon as my soon to be niece came over and started on the candy I was into it too. Hardly any kids came and I was told we would get lots so I bought lots! I felt so gross putting on my costume and my stomach was so mad at me - I didn't even feel like drinking but didn't think I would have any fun if I didn't. So I went hard on the booze and fast as soon as we got to the party. Everything continued down hill from there - I didn't have any pizza though! When we got home I ate a ton of candy and woke up so sick and sore! I could hardly walk yesterday - sitting on the toilet and walking down stairs were the worst! My legs were killing and my shoulders too. I have never been so sore from a work out before. I am still dragging my butt today and everyone at work keeps asking me what's wrong because I can't walk properly. Stairs are the worst! yesterday I continued to eat crap - fries, half a burger, hot dog, spagetti and lots of candy - I ate the spagetti for breakfast at 10am and continued with the rest all day and night. This morning I got a bagel and cream cheese and then ate my sandwich that I brought for lunch and now I'm thinking about what else I can eat - when really I shouldn't have anything.
I knew it was going to be like this and I didn't have any power to stop it. I brought my gym bag to go to the gym after work but honestly I want to go home and lie on the couch and not get up until tomorrow.
Friday night I went and said good bye to my parents as they are snow birds and head South for the winter then I went home and did some serious house cleaning. I was in bed pretty early but not before I could eat my face off - I had like 5 pieces of WW toast with peanut butter and I wasn't even hungry. I woke up Saturday morning for my KettleBell class and felt so gross from all the snacking before bed. I did an hour Thai Chi class and then an hour KettleBell - the Kettle Bell was intense!! So many squats and push ups! Right after the gym I went and bought Halloween candy to hand out. I put it in a bowl and didn't have any for the first couple hours. As soon as my soon to be niece came over and started on the candy I was into it too. Hardly any kids came and I was told we would get lots so I bought lots! I felt so gross putting on my costume and my stomach was so mad at me - I didn't even feel like drinking but didn't think I would have any fun if I didn't. So I went hard on the booze and fast as soon as we got to the party. Everything continued down hill from there - I didn't have any pizza though! When we got home I ate a ton of candy and woke up so sick and sore! I could hardly walk yesterday - sitting on the toilet and walking down stairs were the worst! My legs were killing and my shoulders too. I have never been so sore from a work out before. I am still dragging my butt today and everyone at work keeps asking me what's wrong because I can't walk properly. Stairs are the worst! yesterday I continued to eat crap - fries, half a burger, hot dog, spagetti and lots of candy - I ate the spagetti for breakfast at 10am and continued with the rest all day and night. This morning I got a bagel and cream cheese and then ate my sandwich that I brought for lunch and now I'm thinking about what else I can eat - when really I shouldn't have anything.
I knew it was going to be like this and I didn't have any power to stop it. I brought my gym bag to go to the gym after work but honestly I want to go home and lie on the couch and not get up until tomorrow.
T H I N K P O S I T I V E
...i'll post it later...but I binged and drank and ate like there was no tomorrow. We have to real ourselves out of this. Today. I hope. And at latest tomorrow!...we can do this!
I read what I wrote last Monday and good thing too because I was really wanting WEndy's again and thought to myself I have some time to make up for what I have done but if I keep messing up it is going to take even longer and I don't want that. I want to be in the 140's! So I am going to go to the gym and kick some butt well maybe just use the treadmill since my legs are still killing! I had some more Halloween treats some one brought into the office but besides the bagel and sandwich that is all I have had so it could be a lot worse. No more halloween treats! I am going to throw out whatever I have left at home - I know that sounds like a waste and I could probably give it to someone but really no one needs to eat that crap! I shouldn't have bought it in the first place and next year I'm handing out tooth brushes, lol and then my house will get egg'd. I'll think of something - maybe fake tattoos or something the kids will like that doesn't rot their teeth and turn them into bingers!
I've been lazy, moody, unmotivated and just blaa. I've been craving junk and grease and haven't been drinking any water or tea or anything good. I had my yogurt & all bran for breakfast and have been dreaming about warm bagels and cheese burgers ever since. i didn't go to the gym last night although I had my gym bag ready and went home and was lazy all night! I think I only had like 5000 steps or something close. I went to bed crabby and when I woke up I had a sore throat and used that as an excuse not to go to the gym. My stomach hates me
sorry for being so negative - if you are looking for motivation today go read Skkroll's journal!
thanks 
!