Tiffany Dow's "Expose My Fat" Diary

TiffanyDow

New member
Hi everyone!

Yesterday was my first post here in the new members section. I'll go ahead and explain what I've done here too since this will be my diary in here. I weighed 265 pounds yesterday on day 1.

I suddenly got a crazy desire to post in a business forum I frequent (about 10-20k members), my business blog, and blast my list of 4,000 customers to let everyone know JUST how fat I was and to take a peek at my before picture IN A SWIMSUIT!!

Yes, I woke up early this morning going, "Did I really DO that?" I did. But although I feel humiliated sharing my cottage cheese thighs and fat butt with everyone, it WAS freeing.

I haven't been attending seminars that could have helped me make thousands of dollars (because I was ashamed), I used an old, outdated picture of 45 pounds lighter in all business materials (and it was a casual picture that wasn't professional), and I refused to make online videos (a must in my line of work) - I would only use screen captures.

So I "let it all hang out" and I launched a blog at diydietplan.com/blog to share my journey with them all and guess what? They were supportive!

I'm not doing "a plan" or anything stringent for that matter. I worked with a nutritionist for 6 months learning how to undo the damage I've done to myself with dieting, and she's taught me about normal eating. Working with her, my weight quit gaining and leveled off. I knew I needed to apply her principles more and also start MOVING.

So yesterday I did well - did an hour on the tread. Ate too few calories, but you know what? As I learned, some days you'll be hungrier than others! Some days I might feel like eating 3 meals, or 6. Sometimes I might want 2,000 calories and some I might feel like eating 900.

I will listen to my body and its needs. I won't give up anything. I think it's a concept more people need to know about - and I'm deeply indebted to her for what she opened my eyes to.

Okay, I'll answer the "diary questions" now:

How much weight do you want to lose?
130 pounds

What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?
6 months to a year. I know it'll come off faster at first. Put it this way, I'm gonna be a happy camper once I'm back to 220, then 200, then 180, etc.

How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?

The "it's all about me" method? lol. Seriously, there is no method. It's all about hunger cues. I find I very often eat until full, but if I listen to my hunger cues, I stop when content.

Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?
My online friends. I'm quite a hermit at home.

How realistic is your goal?
Losing 130 pounds in 6 months isn't realistic, but why dash my dreams? I'm not a stickler - as long as it's working, I'll be happy.

When will you start?
I began it yesterday.

What is your current height and weight?
5'8 and 265 pounds (well 263 today, I lost 2 between yesterday and today)

If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
135 pounds.

At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
At LEAST 220, but preferably 180

Why do you want to lose weight?
Because being fat is like being stuck in a horrible Halloween costume gone wrong. I don't like how people don't look me in the yee anymore (and vice versa). I don't like that people aren't nice to me in public (they're not mean, either - just well, I'm ignored). I don't like being so tired all the time and not having energy to play with my kids.

What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
Sometimes I try to overdo it and then I quit. I want to do it wisely this time.

Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
I started eating for comfort when I became pregnant out of wedlock and planning, cooking, eating, and cleaning up after meals filled the void that had once been occupied by friends and a social life. It continnued because I learned food was a friend that gave me comfort.

What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
Moving! My couch is sunken in from my wide load and I need to move more.

Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
Yes, once. I've only been fat for about 10 years (I'm 38). 10 Years ago, I met my husnand online and started walking 4 miles a day and eating right and swimming and the weight fell off.

Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
I lost to 150 from 190 and to me, it was because my husband had seen a skinny picture of me at 130, so the 150 to him was fat - it became an enormous thorn in our relationship for years and I kept using food to comfort me.

What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
restrictive diets. I hate anyone telling me what to do or not do when it comes to eating.

Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
Been there done that and am doing it now ONLY because I know people will ask.

Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
Yes, I love chicken meals - pressure cooked, steamed, and yes, fried. I love Southern food.

How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
Yes, fast food and El Fenix. Cutting back now.

What are your three favorite foods?

El Fenix Flautas, steaks, and chicken with rice.

What are your three favorite restaurants?
El Fenix, Black Eyed Pea, Olive Garden

What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?

Listen to my hunger cues so I stop when full.

If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
My confidence. I used to have no fear walking into a room and now it paralyzes me.

Do you eat when you are not hungry?
Did up until yesterday!

Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
Unknowingly - just eating numbly, but not specifically like a bulemic would do.

Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
I have before...hidden frosting cans or sodas unde rmy bed so my husband wouldn't see.

Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
No - that's when I have no appetite. I eat when happy. I'm a REAL happy person. lol

Do you eat as a reward?
Always have.

Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
Yep.

What do you normally eat for a meal?
Rice with chicken and vegetables

What type of snacks do you eat?
Chocolate, sodas, cheese, bready type stuff

In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
1 hour tread a day, alternating between 2.5 for 5 minutes and 3.0 for 5 minutes.

Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
Home. I did the gym thing.

What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
Do people LIKE exercise? Swimming I guess.

What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?

I'm just fed up.

Do you have rewards for certain goals?

No, when I feel good, I'll do something nice ;)

Tiff ;)
 
That looks really good. Having motivation other than just looking better really seems to help, if losing weight helps you make more money than that's even better! I'm new here too but it looks like there are a lot of really great people around to help you keep track of your goals. Good luck!
 
Day 3

Well yesterday I didn't exercise until almost 5 PM, but I did it! One hour on the tread. I ate well, too albeit not enough:

coffee with milk ad sugar for breakfast

slim fast for lunch

6 inch subway (turkey, pepperjack cheese, mustard, cucumbers, spinach, tomatoes) with red grapes and a Coke for dinner

coffee with milk and sugar for later.

Not enough calories but today I'm going to eat more.
 
I'm always a day behind! lol

Okay, I'm very excited - yesterday I did my hour AGAIN even though my knees ached later on.

I also ate well:

For breakfast:

Egg & cheese mcmuffin with no bacon and hashbrowns with a glass of 2% milk

For lunch:

Chocolate slimfast (I love these - specially when I'm busy)

For mid-afternoon snack:

A perfect nectarine

For dinner:

2 slices homemade pizza (chef boy r d) with a 1/2 Coke 1/2 Coke Zero concoction.

for dessert:

1 teasonful of Smuckers fudge topping (the kind for ice cream)

Pretty proud of myself! And I had lost 2 more pounds yesterday when I weighed in.
Tiff ;)
 
Still going strong

Hi everyone! :waving:

I'm still doing everything right, although I haven't been on the treadmill today. My knees need a big break. I did a lot of walking in the mall (three hours worth).

Today so far I've had my coffee for breakfast, a homemade sub sandwich with turkey and cheese for lunch, and a second cup of coffee to nix my sweet cravings.

Tonight is my son's 16th birthday, and the cake he wants just happens to be the most decadent cake I've ever had -- the black tie mousse from the Olive Garden.

I'm definitely going to have some, but I also have to watch how much else I eat. Today my weight went up 1 pounds, and that was discouraging. But I have to remember that for pounds in one week is excellent! So right now I'm at 262 pounds. Better than 265 pounds, right?

Thanks for all of your support so far! It sure is helping, and so is my personal diet blog diary because it holds me accountable to my followers and myself.

Tiff :)
 
Hey Tiffany, you're doing great! :) If you don't mind me asking, where in Texas are you? I'm in Dallas. Right down the street from an El Fenix. Avoiding it! :toetap05:
 
Hey Tiffany, you're doing great! :) If you don't mind me asking, where in Texas are you? I'm in Dallas. Right down the street from an El Fenix. Avoiding it! :toetap05:

Ack! I'm in Kennedale - between Arlington and Ft. Worth. El Fenix is my all time love. It's funny as a teenager, I used to go there for their hamburgers! lol. But then as an adult, I grew to love their Mexican food more. Flautas, Chipotle Nachos, and Fajitas.

Best mexican food EVER
tiff ;)
 
Ack! I'm in Kennedale - between Arlington and Ft. Worth. El Fenix is my all time love. It's funny as a teenager, I used to go there for their hamburgers! lol. But then as an adult, I grew to love their Mexican food more. Flautas, Chipotle Nachos, and Fajitas.

Best mexican food EVER
tiff ;)

I like Chuy's, Enchilada's, and Ojeda's myself. Luckily all of them are far from where I am so I'm not tempted to go to any of them on impulse.

I wonder how many other people here are in the DFW area. Such a big city...you'd think there'd be a lot of us!
 
Sunday:

coffee with a nectarine
3 chicken/cheese flautas (350 cals total)
piece of cake w/skim milk
chicken broccoli noodles with a Coke

no exercise.
 
Walked an hour on the tread in honor of my stepdad who died of cancer. It was emotional for me. He was so supportive of my weight loss before when I went from 195 to 150. (then back up again)

Okay, foodwise - I had:

Breakfast - coffee with milk and sugar.

Lunch - Church's Fried Chicken - 1 breast, 2 legs, fries, and 1/2 a medium Coke. (totaled 1,000 calories ont heir website).

Dinner - 1/2 a sandwich made with turkey, cheese, miracle whip, baby spinach, cucumber, and tomato with about 4 pickled okras and part skim string cheese. Also had a Coke zero and a nectarine.

I feel tired, but good. Weight back down to 261 today.

Oh! How do you guys have your tickers below each post? I can't figure that one out. I have a ticker, but does it post automatically for you or do you have to do it each post?
Tiff ;)
 
hey tiffany :)
sounds like you're doing well! i was looking over what you're eating, and yeah... you're right... it looks like you're not having enough "real food" throughout the day. i started out at 185, and lost 5 lbs. in the first week just by completely cutting out all drinks except for water. you get used to the taste!
anyways, i'm not here to critique, because obviously you're exercising and losing weight, and working at getting your health back. i think, though, that it would be awesome to cut down on some of the processed/refined/sugary foods.

by the way - that subway sandwich from the other day sounded awesome!

xoxo
raven
 
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