This Time Around...

Bedsy81

Bedsy81

New member
Okay.
Take two.
I've been on this forum before. A few years back and actually made some friends. I don't know if they're still around or not, but it would be great if they were, and of course it would be equally as awesome to make some new friends.
So I am back on the wagon again.
Like many, I have tried and failed and tried an failed to lose weight.
I have weird quirks and mental issues and all the stuff that goes with being overweight, but I feel like I start letting go of those things, the older I get and the more times I try to lose weight. At last that's what I am hoping for this time around.
So I kind of started about 2 months ago and I've already lost 7 kilos which is about 15.5 pounds. That's aweosme! And I am really happy, but it's just the tip of the iceberg really.
I still have another 35kgs (77lbs) to lose which I am totally up fo rthe challenge.
I am on 1200 calorie a day diet with limited carbs (morning and/or lunch only) and I have joined a gym where I try to burn anywhere between 250 and 500 calories (obviously I'll work up to that) a session.
I like to Zumba! And if I can get to class, I do that, but mostly I am a treadmill, elliptical girl. I really should start incorporating weights too, which I will try soon.
So not that this is the reason why I am trying to lose weight, but my family and I set ourselves a kind of Family Biggest Loser challenge where we weigh in each fortnight and whoever loses the most doesn't have to pay, but the rest of us have to contribute $20 to a collection and whoever loses the most weight after three months, get's the jackpot. And that has really helped keep me motivated, especially since my dad is in it and doing SO well! (Kicking my butt actually!) I just like that he's involved and losing weight and getting healthier :)
I also have a secret blog that I write in. Having it be secret, I can kind of include all the gory details without the judgement from people I know (or perceived judgement!)
So there it is.
Here goes my second try and I am pretty sure, that this time I can stick with it :)
Basically I just want to look hot. LOL
So here we go again.....
 
Good Golly Gumdrops, is the day over yet? Can I please go to the gym now?
I feel like I am wasting so much time sitting here at my desk.
I wish I could take advantage of the fact that my boss is away and leave early, but alas my conscience wields a giant sword that likes to cut me down to size!
So I will stay and dream about being one of those teeny little girls in the gym with the black tights and white tank tops running with ease for at least 40mins on speed 8 and a mild incline.
The good news though, is that I purchased myself a nifty little digital food scale today!
So now, I can be totally accurate about what I eat and how much of it!
So by now I am pretty much used to what a serving size of a particular item of food looks like, but can I just say, I nearly dropped an ovary when I first saw how much food equates to a serving size, in terms of how much I had actually been eating in the past which was easily double, maybe even triple what I should have been eating!
What an eye opener calorie counting has been for me!
I quickly learned how to fit the the most satisfying foods into my calorie budget so now I am rarely hungry and my stomach has pretty much shrunken enough for me to be able to tell when I am full long before I get STUFFED!
So now that my food is pretty much under control and I know what I should be eating and how much, I really need to focus on my exercise.
I am soooooo unfit!
And I am not too proud to admit, that pushing myself scares me.
I mean I know that moderate exercise is ample activity for weight loss and I can manage that, and I don't have to push myself to do moderate exercise, but I am all about efficiency.
If I can burn as many calories in a half hour run as I can in an hour long walk, then that's where I want to be. It's just the last few times I have really tried to push myself, I get nauseous.
And I watch Biggest Loser, so I know aaaaalll about the vomitting and exercise thing, but anyone who knows me, knows that there isn't much that I hate more than vomitting.
I really do want to be a runner though....so much....
I love the thought of waking up and putting on my running shoes and running around the streets I live in or aorund the park, or during my lunch break around Sydney Harbour.
I am determined to work up to it, and I know I can do it...I just have to do it the way my body will like it.
 
Urgh, I've been sick at the gym before. Not fun! What is Zumba? I know they do a class at my gym but I dont know anything about it. Could you share some information about it possibly? Well done for starting a diary! Hope to see you post more soon xxx
 
Argh, just the thought of it makes my blood run cold! :) But, no pain no gain I suppose.

Okay, so Zumba is basically really intense (depending of your instructor of course) Latin American Dancing. It's basically stylized Aerobics, but it's really, really fun like dancing at a party and a good cardio work out.
It's super fun, you should grab some of your friends and give it a go, it's a great time :)

Thanks for commenting Sunflower! :)
 
Oh awesome! Sounds fun! I tried a step n tone class a while back and it was HORRID. I have no balance and I fell over and I couldnt keep up because I kept going the wrong way and it was just not fun. Zumba sounds awesome but I bet you anything I'd get kicked out for flopping around like an epileptic fish. I really cant dance. Ah well, maybe I'll give it a shot!

Good luck with everything and well done for getting the food scale! I still dont have one but my Weight Watchers leader says they are the best tool in helping you shift those pounds!
 
Oh I know what you mean, I have zero co-ordination and I pretty much though the first time that I went I was just going to be bumping into people and falling over myself, but amazingly, I managed to be relatively in time and in line so it kind of amped me up a bit more :) But I know what you mean. I attempted a step class once too, and vowed, never again!

Take care Sunflower :)
 
Welcome back to the forum and good luck with your goals. I hope you find some of your old friends back, but if you are up for making some new friends, I am here. :) :) Gonna come by often to say hi. Have a good week, Bedsy.
 
Awwww! Thanks Juni!! Consider yourself a friend! :)

So, sorry for the TMI but today is the first day of that ToM.
And yesterday I kind of had a breakdown of sorts.
Whenever it's the day before, I just want to basically take a bite out of everything edible I see.
I went to the Gym after work and even though I had a rather abysmal workout in terms of calories burned, I did manage to run for six consecutive minutes! That felt really good, and I am pretty sure that my next gym session, I should be able to get to ten minutes! I am slowly working my way up to being able to run! :) Or to be "Runny" to borrow a term from jjjay :)
So anyway, once I got home from the Gym last night, I had a piece of fish and some steamed veggies, with dinner coming in at a whopping 189 calories, which left me with a total days calorie count of about 670 calories! So my partner wanted to have treats 'cause we've been doing really well for the past couple of months, so I went to the supermarket....and...I bought Chili flavoured potato chips....and a Mars Bar.....but at least the Mars bar was the light one, and it only had 146 calories, so that left me at 816 calories, so I had to make up the rest with Chili flavoured crisps.
I know, I know, that there are at least 700 better ways I could have made it up the 1200 calories, but this always happens when I am pre-menstrual. And then I get upset at myself and cry. I know now that it's not a big deal and 29 out of thirty days of the month I am very good with my diet, but I don't want to hide what I did. Accountability is important when you're prone to the occassional binge like I am. So there it is. Hopefully next month when I feel pre-menstrual, I'll just climb into bed, throw the covers over me and not come out until the next day :)
Anyway, it's off my chest now and I feel better.
So I don't plan on going to the gym today because the first and second day of that ToM are off limits for me. I get fainty if I try and work out no matter what I do, my Iron levels just seem to nose dive during that time, so I'm going to try and stay at around 1100 calories for the next two days and make sure I'm getting plenty of Iron, Protein and water.
I am fine with it, 'cause it's the first week of the fortnight and if I can get my ToM out of the way during the first week and then really trash myself in the second week, then that's works out great for weigh in after the completion of the second week! And hopefully I can finally beat my Dad this round! :)
 
I was going to post this as a response to your post on my journal, but I thought it should go on YOUR journal as its your achievement :D

:hurray::hurray::hurray:

I'm really proud of you!!!! 6 mins on the treadmill is SUCH AN ACHIEVEMENT! It doesn't matter how slow it was or how dead you were afterwards, you did it. You kept on running for 6 mins :willy_nilly:

That's how it starts!! You get very suprised at yourself for being able to do 6 mins and then see if you can do 7 next time....then 8...then 9... and believe me, this is ALWAYS the hard bit. Even now I struggle with the first 10 mins butI can't explain it, after that you are in a ZONE and you think, you know if I had to run another minute I could...so you do and before you know it, another 10 mins have gone by. I never ever thought I be running like that - seriously, just didn't think I had it in my nature to be someone who could do that. In all the sports I've done in my life, I've never really been a natural runner.

It was harder outdoors though - to not go faster and get more tired out, to find the right pace and also the uphill/downhill variations but I noticed the time less and by the end of my run home, just thought to myself, oh well I'll go round another time, I'm not desperate to stop. This is how those tiny girls in tank tops at the gym do it - they run for ages out of APATHY!! Because they can't be arsed to stop!! That's the secret!

Keep going! Don't beat yourself up about the crisps and mars bar, I bet in former days you'd have splurged a lot worse! ToM is a killer for me too but its only a few days so going a bit wrong for 4 days and doing 26 days of the month right has got to count for somethign!
 
Aw Thanks jjjay! You’re such a lovely person I am so glad to have met you on here! ?
You’re absolutely right about it being addictive too! Today is the second day of ToM and ordinarily I’d be curled up in bed with a book, but even now, all I can think of is getting to the gym and hopping on that treadmill! :)


Like seriously. The last thing I want when it’s cold out is a freaking salad.
If there is one this that sucks about Sydney, it’s a lack of variety for a low calorie healthy lunch.
If that’s what you want, you either have to bring it yourself from home or go gallivanting around the city looking for vegetarian joints, which I don’t have time for. So salad it is.

So inspired by Flumes, I bought some oatmeal this morning and good God, I forgot how filling that stuff is.
It actually made me uncomfortable for a little while there since, I’m used to a lighter breakfast now, but one thing is for sure, it definitely kept me satisfied right up until now, lunchtime.
I was careful to read the label and was pleased to find that the Cinnamon and Brown sugar one was well within my calorie range so I went with that one and YUM! Love it.
It’s a good winter option ‘cause it’s nice an hot and that’s what I crave in the colder months.

I really would love to attempt a chick pea and lentil curry this weekend.
Something warming and spicy but still low in calories that I can take to my grandmothers house so I don’t have to eat her food which is usually dripping with fats of every description.

I am also off to a concert tomorrow night and we’re having dinner before hand so I am trying to look and see what’s around the area that I can suggest to the gang, that will have something I won’t feel bad about eating! Being prepared is half the battle afterall.

Gym tonight, going to try and break my running record! :D Then chilling with my partner, maybe watch some football and make our chicken pesto and salad dinner.
 
Terrible, terrible effort at the gym last night, I did (barely) however manage to make it to my minimum calories burned of 250. But, I did wake up 300 grams lighter this morning which is always a big plus! :)

Breakfast this morning:

1 Piece of Soy and Linseed Bread 99 cals
1 soft boiled egg 80 cals
50g shaved ham 52 cals

Breakfast total 230 cals.

Off to the gym in about an hour or so, then I'll have an apple and maybe some more ham. But that's it until tonight. Going out to dinner and a concert and who know where we'll end up foodwise! I will be good though I promise!
xoxoxo
 
Hey journal!
Just a quick note,to document how proud of myself I am today! So many temptations around me this week and I stuck to my guns!
I had BBQ Beef with veggies from the thai restaurant before the concert and my treat for the night was a 100 calorie chocolate ice cream.
Then since it was mothers day today (Sunday) my sister put on a big breakfast for everyone. You name it, it was there! Bacon, eggs, sausages, toast, hash browns, Mushrooms, tomatoes and an assortment of fruit juices. BUT I was so good. I had my bowl of oatmeal and surprisingly, I had no desire whatsoever to even sample any of the other food on the table!
THEN! We had a mother's day dinner at my grandmother's house and they made a GIGANTIC pot of African curry which is ridiculously dense in calories, not to mention the rice it's served with.
Not even a nibble! I had my lean cuisine and that was it!
THEN! My aunt brought out two beautiful cakes! A chocolate mud cake and a carrot cake and I didn't have any!
I honestly feel like if I could get though this weekend without caving/cheating, then I have a real serious chance of seeing this through and reaching my goal. I am SO happy with myself and I can't wait for tomorrow after work when I can go to the gym.:hurray:
 
Right! So today my goal at the gym is get back to running again!
Treadmill first, then elliptical rather than the other way around.
I also think that once I am home, instead of sitting aorund and not doing anything, maybe I'll start to do some strength exercises! Especially since my upper body strength is non-existent.
Some push-ups, dips, culrs, sit-ups etc....like a mini at home circuit.
I was really good with Food today!
Breakfast was 2 pieces of whomeal toast with 2 portions of light laughing cow cheese and tomato. YUM! 222 CALS.
A fruit cup 60 cals
Minestrone Soup 164 cals
Apple 60 cals
For dinner I am having a creamy chicken and mushroom dish 350 cals with Veggies.
And then I'll use up the rest of my calories with some chocolate or a paddle pop or something.
So I am offically below 90 kilos now!!! Yaaaaayy!!!
I am very happy to have acheived my first short-term goal!
I will reward myself with some new exercise clothes :)
My next goal is to make it back down to 85kilos.
And I only have 4.5 kilos to go to get here! Woo Hoo!!! :D
 
I'm not feeling so great today. Actually I feel flat as a pancake.
Was so close to stopping in an McDonalds for breakfast today.
I didn't.
 
Okay so, as I mentioned in my first post, I had tried and failed several times to lose weight and I think i have stumbled across one of the contributing factors which I am pretty sure is just around the corner from rearing it's ugly head. I touched on it briefly before, but I really think this is a real issue and I really need help on it and don't where to go to get it.
Here it is.
So after a certain amount of time spent, eating well and exercising, you're body starts to get used to it and you have to step it all up a notch.
I am really scared to push myself at the gym. And I am sure that is one of, if not the main reasons why I have quit all those times in the past.
I always thought I had some deep seeded issues with attention to my weight loss, but I've come to realise that I don't think that's it.
Now that I am thinking back on it, I have realised that as soon as I plateau, I have stopped.
I am so scared of pushing myself too far at training, like to the point of collapsing or, vomitting or injury that I always stay within this safe zone that is only ever effective for a brief period of time. I just don't know how to overcome this and I have to work it out.
I wish I knew a personal trainer who I could just sit and talk to about it all. Or at least be able to afford to have a session with one.
This is really going to hinder my efforts unless I can work it out and unfortunately I can't seem to find many articles or reading material on the matter.
If anyone has any advice or similar feelings, I'd love to hear from you.
I feel like I have done really well so far and overcome some personal obstacles to get this far. This is my next one and I really, really, really don't want to give into it.
 
How very strange to have received a courtesy call form my Gym this afternoon to ask me how I was going and if I needed any help....
Long story short. I have an appointment with a trainer this evening to help me write up a program and talk to about my concerns and stuff....free of charge.
How strange, it's like the universe heard me! Thanks Universe....
 
Hey Bedsy. Well done on walking past McDonalds - I KNOW how difficult that is! The one nearest me is right by my gym though so I can't go in there out of sheer embarissment that one of the trainers will see me and lose ALL respect LOL.

Re plateau, I find the heart rate monitors on the gym equipment really really useful. I'm definately NOT into exercising until I feel faint or sick - it just doesn't sound like fun. But what I will do, is if I feel I'm coasting a bit on the x-trainer or treadmill I'll check my heart rate (and usually find its down in the 150s because i've got "used" to that level of exercise) and I'll just up the resistance or speed until it bumps up 5 or 10 to the 160s and try and keep it there for a minute, then drop back down again, then back up again...by doing this I find after a couple more work outs I'm able then to exercise at that speed or resistance for the whole time and then after a couple more workouts, I feel too comfortable at that level and start the whole thing again. Its just a small incremental push in the right direction that works for me rather than being one of these people that shouts "RAAAAAA" mentally like they are in the biggest loser household and pushes it to the max!!

And talk about Karma!! Perfect timign from the gym - go and talk over your issues but end up with a workout that you still enjoy doing rather than too extreme!! Its a fine line.
 
Thanks jjjay and you're 150% right, gradually working up a bit at a time is the way to go. You just get the "no-pain, no gain" mentality beaten into you, but really it's supposed to be a good long, sustained session rather that a burts of energy and then you die! Thanks for the words of encouragement, I love reading your diary so much that I get really quite excited when you come to mine LOL.

Am glad to report that my appointment with the trainer last night was nowhere near as intimidating as I thought it was going to be.
She was very gentle and as she explained, it wasn't a work out as such, but simply an assessment to determine the components of my cardio program. I'll be back with her for another hour on Monday to put together my weight training program and also to take my weight calcs and measurments since, we didn't get a chance to last night.
I am really excited as it was nowhere near as "RAAAAAAAA" Biggest Loser House (to borrow a term form jjjay) as I thought it was going to be.
I had a lot of questions answered and got a lot of information so it was really a good experience.
Am also proud to report that I am now officially under 90 kilos at 89 kilos flat! Which is 195.8lbs!
Woo Hoo! 3.5 more days until the family challenge weigh-in and this time I have to win!
I have already put in $40 and I don't want to put in another $20! :)
Food has been no dramas. Staying at about 1100-1200 a day.
And apart form that, I am off to do some work now!
Have a good day!
 
Okay so first day of Cardio program for 45mins.
I went fine but I HATE THE BIKE! It's not the vertical bike it's the horizontal bike where your legs are in front of you...dammit I hate it.
Oh well...suck it up buttercup. This is what I signed up for...
 
So.
I am doing fine. But I am ravenously hungry today!
Likely because I have stepped up my exercise, but you know those days when you just feel like 1200 calories today is just not going to do it?
Have no ideas to deviate from my path though, so no worries.
Had a good breaky of toast with cheese and tomato and just about to have a snack of some fruit Salad and yoghurt.
A beautiful day today so I might get out for a spot of shopping.
Am thinking of also forgoing my workout tonight as well as I want to check out a club near my house and I'd be too rushed to go work out, go home and get changed and then back to the club. So I figure better to take tonight off then train Saturday and Sunday when my workout won't be rushed and it's just before weigh in on monday so it should help to hopefully lose a couple of hundred grams so that this fortnight, I will have lost an even 2 kilograms! That would be great!
Won't be able to afford a heart rate monitor this pay, but maybe next. So that's another thing I am looking forward to :)
 
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