This is the time
- Thread starter felici
- Start date
cinderelly
New member
Honey, I think once you make it important and a routine you will realize how great it is for you adn how much you missed it.You just have other things to get in order first
Ya i hear that, Fridays usually arent my greats days as Im just off work Friday morning and my days off begin, Im so exhausted...we usually eat out at some point if not two meals...Plus i really notice i shop diff when shoppin on an empty/hungry tummy...
Good for you abt the chocolate and
for being planned/in control.
I have been on a bit of a rollercoaster lately. Yesterday was my daughter's birthday. I remember this time last year I was hanging in there with my food and her birthday helped give me a push the wrong way - it was a big deal party so megamumstress and then there was the mud cake which didn't all get eaten on the day ...
And this year, well there was mudcake, but less of it. And we had people over after school, things were a bit chaotic, but for the first time in ages, I did no school work at home. I figured I had prepped just enough for today, so I just ate (crappy food for) dinner and fell asleep early. I feel so much better today after that great sleep. I can't say I ate well, but I feel like maybe I'm in control again, and just being naughty. Anyway, time to gird up again. I can do so much damage so fast on those bad days. I can't afford to let them keep dragging out the way they have this week. I can't record all the rubbish I ate now, because one of the first things I do is stop counting, and even start counting wrongly. I know because when I first start eating badly I try to remember in the morning and I remember one number, then if I count up empty containers it's another number.
Anyway, time to get back on the bike - metaphorically for now - but maybe actually, as well.
Im glad you are seeing differences adn such...I mean things are coming together for you adn you are doing it...Balance is so horrible it is hard to obtaina dn find and wiht being tired all the time it doesnt help matters much, lol, trust me I knwo this...I say just keep doing your best...your putitng it together and getting there
Curvie Girlie
New member
Nottatall! It's just a termYeah, I think I might need a bit of that attitude, though hopefully you just mentioned it here cos of the rest of your post, not cos I have so many!!
WHEW Kerry, my head is reeling! I'm glad you got it out on "paper" though, it always helps!
Jeez sounds like a nightmare! Can't these kids just get wasted on psychedelics instead? Alcohol can be so consciousness-numbing! Just kidding
Good for you! I have lately been falling off the wagon on that, but exercising A LOT and maintaining.
Happy belated to her!
Hope you get the rest you need. Me too for that matter!
felici
Well-known member
Yanno. Every day - 99.9% - of days I have the same breakfast. I have eaten this, or something very similar, for over 3 years, regardless of holidays away, Christmas, binge eating, whatever. It's not exactly what I once ate, I've dropped a piece of toast off it because I realized I often felt a little overfull afterwards, and because I don't feel hungry with it left out. I reckon if I get hungry I can have some fruit mid-morning, or if I ever manage to get back to the early rising exercise, I can have a piece of fruit before that.
Anyway, I eat 2 weetbix (whole wheat biscuits), with soya milk and preserved peaches, a boiled egg with some chopped fresh tomato, and a cup of coffee with some HiLo (midfat), milk in it. That's one bowl, one plate, one cup. It feels right. It's balanced, it's satisfying, I can eat it fairly fast or fairly slow. It feels like plenty. Three things, or seven things or whatever, it's good.
When I was stuck in a campervan I would slither out of bed before everyone else, or in between everyone else, so that I could make sure I was able to prepare it with no one else moving around, and put it on a wee shelf next to the end of the bed and squeeze in between that and my son's feet, and still feel happy about it. My husband was jealous.
Um. One day this week I did what I sometimes did way back when and tried to speed it up by turning the egg and soya milk into an egg flip and having a piece of toast and a banana. But it isn't really that much speedier, and just feeds my sense of being overly rushed and too busy.
The thing is I mostly I manage to eat this no matter the rush and busyness. But Saturdays, even though I eat it, it just doesn't turn out right.
See this is Saturday, today:
- Wake up at 9:17 am. Think yeah I feel okay, I've had enough sleep. (I went to bed late, because after I got over the Friday night time to crash feeling, go out three times to buy everyone (easy!), take-away food, and replenish the snacks for a last minute sleepover, eat and crash again; I notice how hideous the kitchen is looking and clean it up before bed. So I went to bed at 1:00.)
- Lie there, thinking it's cool, not too late to wake up, not sure what my program for today needs to be, but it's probably doable cos there are no big issues staring me down.
I get up, turn on the computer, notice Val's post, think I should organize breakfast before I read up on-line, then go into the kitchen.
- Of course it looks a lot messier than I left it. I wipe the benches and take the cloth to the laundry.
- Yep, better put a new load of washing on. Unload washer and reload.
- My husband wants me to write a shopping list. I don't want to, but I also, don't want to do the shopping myself, and I don't want to go back and buy more after he comes home, and I am especially glad to think that if he goes, he will put it away afterwards and I won't have to.
- I write the shopping list a bit, talk to children a bit about what they need, check the fridge, tell my son, yes I will give him a lift some time today but remember I have to go back and forth for dancing and don't want a big mess like last Saturday ... finish the shopping list.
- Go to start making breakfast again.
- My son gets off the phone - Can I please take him to Joe's soon before I start doing other stuff? You mean other stuff like having my breakfast? Yes. Okay. Okay, I'll just have a shower and then can we go straight away? Yes.
- So I go get the breakfast stuff ready, while my girl is making eggs for her friends, come back to my desk, and knit three stitches. Time to go. Drat, I accidentally turned the water on, under the egg. No worries, turn it off, it's hot the egg will cook while I'm out.
- Drive son. Ten minutes each way. Woohoo, no line of traffic on Marmion Ave. Home. What a beautiful morning it is, the sun is just warm enough the sky is clear, I really need to do more appreciating of these beautiful moments. I have at least 20 minutes, maybe 25 to eat my breakfast. I will need to keep an eye on the clock and not get distracted, but I won't be rushed.
- The three girls are still in the kitchen. Now the friend is cooking them french toast. I dodge around them and get my things and take them to my desk.
- I eat the cereal and drink half the coffee. I crack the egg. It is still totally uncooked. I put a new egg on the stove, and come and read some posts online.
- It is time to take the girls to dancing. I turn off the egg. I drive them. (5 minutes each way, plus a wait in the carpark for the queue). I come home.
- My husband has bought me 24 bottles of water instead of 4 and put them on my desk. We discuss this. Per bottle, he has saved a lot of money. I don't know where to store them and decide that there is enough space where he stacks up his beer (in my way) in the laundry.
- I go back to the kitchen and get my egg out of the pot while he is in another room and try to walk to my prepared plate of tomato as he arrives back in the kitchen, and he yells at me for getting in his way, while he is trying to put away the shopping ... So I explain, with a little heat of my own, that it is not unreasonable for me to try and collect my food just at that time ...
- and come and eat the egg and by then it is 11:50, which is a little late to be finishing breakfast ...
- And I am a tad hot under the collar, so I spend half an hour writing a whinge about the whole thing because yanno, I woke up this morning and I thought, I feel good - it doesn't feel like Saturday ... BUT it still WAS Saturday!! And I HATE SATURDAY!
*Drinks another quarter cup of coffee and goes to get girls from dancing ... *
Anyway, I eat 2 weetbix (whole wheat biscuits), with soya milk and preserved peaches, a boiled egg with some chopped fresh tomato, and a cup of coffee with some HiLo (midfat), milk in it. That's one bowl, one plate, one cup. It feels right. It's balanced, it's satisfying, I can eat it fairly fast or fairly slow. It feels like plenty. Three things, or seven things or whatever, it's good.
When I was stuck in a campervan I would slither out of bed before everyone else, or in between everyone else, so that I could make sure I was able to prepare it with no one else moving around, and put it on a wee shelf next to the end of the bed and squeeze in between that and my son's feet, and still feel happy about it. My husband was jealous.
Um. One day this week I did what I sometimes did way back when and tried to speed it up by turning the egg and soya milk into an egg flip and having a piece of toast and a banana. But it isn't really that much speedier, and just feeds my sense of being overly rushed and too busy.
The thing is I mostly I manage to eat this no matter the rush and busyness. But Saturdays, even though I eat it, it just doesn't turn out right.
See this is Saturday, today:
- Wake up at 9:17 am. Think yeah I feel okay, I've had enough sleep. (I went to bed late, because after I got over the Friday night time to crash feeling, go out three times to buy everyone (easy!), take-away food, and replenish the snacks for a last minute sleepover, eat and crash again; I notice how hideous the kitchen is looking and clean it up before bed. So I went to bed at 1:00.)
- Lie there, thinking it's cool, not too late to wake up, not sure what my program for today needs to be, but it's probably doable cos there are no big issues staring me down.
I get up, turn on the computer, notice Val's post, think I should organize breakfast before I read up on-line, then go into the kitchen.
- Of course it looks a lot messier than I left it. I wipe the benches and take the cloth to the laundry.
- Yep, better put a new load of washing on. Unload washer and reload.
- My husband wants me to write a shopping list. I don't want to, but I also, don't want to do the shopping myself, and I don't want to go back and buy more after he comes home, and I am especially glad to think that if he goes, he will put it away afterwards and I won't have to.
- I write the shopping list a bit, talk to children a bit about what they need, check the fridge, tell my son, yes I will give him a lift some time today but remember I have to go back and forth for dancing and don't want a big mess like last Saturday ... finish the shopping list.
- Go to start making breakfast again.
- My son gets off the phone - Can I please take him to Joe's soon before I start doing other stuff? You mean other stuff like having my breakfast? Yes. Okay. Okay, I'll just have a shower and then can we go straight away? Yes.
- So I go get the breakfast stuff ready, while my girl is making eggs for her friends, come back to my desk, and knit three stitches. Time to go. Drat, I accidentally turned the water on, under the egg. No worries, turn it off, it's hot the egg will cook while I'm out.
- Drive son. Ten minutes each way. Woohoo, no line of traffic on Marmion Ave. Home. What a beautiful morning it is, the sun is just warm enough the sky is clear, I really need to do more appreciating of these beautiful moments. I have at least 20 minutes, maybe 25 to eat my breakfast. I will need to keep an eye on the clock and not get distracted, but I won't be rushed.
- The three girls are still in the kitchen. Now the friend is cooking them french toast. I dodge around them and get my things and take them to my desk.
- I eat the cereal and drink half the coffee. I crack the egg. It is still totally uncooked. I put a new egg on the stove, and come and read some posts online.
- It is time to take the girls to dancing. I turn off the egg. I drive them. (5 minutes each way, plus a wait in the carpark for the queue). I come home.
- My husband has bought me 24 bottles of water instead of 4 and put them on my desk. We discuss this. Per bottle, he has saved a lot of money. I don't know where to store them and decide that there is enough space where he stacks up his beer (in my way) in the laundry.
- I go back to the kitchen and get my egg out of the pot while he is in another room and try to walk to my prepared plate of tomato as he arrives back in the kitchen, and he yells at me for getting in his way, while he is trying to put away the shopping ... So I explain, with a little heat of my own, that it is not unreasonable for me to try and collect my food just at that time ...
- and come and eat the egg and by then it is 11:50, which is a little late to be finishing breakfast ...
- And I am a tad hot under the collar, so I spend half an hour writing a whinge about the whole thing because yanno, I woke up this morning and I thought, I feel good - it doesn't feel like Saturday ... BUT it still WAS Saturday!! And I HATE SATURDAY!
*Drinks another quarter cup of coffee and goes to get girls from dancing ... *
felici
Well-known member
Cerella and Val. Thanks for the posts!! Yes - we ALL need more rest I'm sure!!!
You both celebrated some things I did right, before I did so many things wrong ... and maybe I do needed a bit of that. Thank-you. I needed my the mindset from that time, and not the one that has been dominating me the past week. I absolutely have to change back.
Sorry about the long rant above readers. I'm sorry it took my time to write it too - but it has helped me feel more settled. I think it's helped me move from just thinking that I need to change back to my better eating self, to feeling as though I am that better eating self, so that's a good thing for me. I don't know why writing does that for me, but it does.
Val - My girl is actually thirteen now - I don't remember whether I said that. So now I officially have two teenagers. In reality, I did already - she is sooo grown up - but now it's official.
Good on the both of you for your exercise thumbs ups!! I am not promising myself anything about today. Because it's SATURDAY and no matter what I start thinking about what I'll do, it somehow stays awkward and unpredictable, but ... ya-never-know and there's always Sunday.
I had to sit in the car for a while and wait for the girls to come out (late), from dancing, and the sky was endlessly blue and the sun was just so deliciously hot on my skin - like it could burn - so warming, and yet on the edge of stinging. And yeah, I felt beautifully relaxed, like I could sleep and love it, and then again, I could go to the beach and love it, or walk in the bush and love it, and actually ... I will make a chai tea, tidy my desk and work on my planning for school for next week. And love it. Because this will be the earliest I've ever got started on it, on the weekend, and just maybe, if I start early and do the most urgent things first, I will finish this weekend in balance. (edit: and have a balanced week?)
*crosses fingers*
You both celebrated some things I did right, before I did so many things wrong ... and maybe I do needed a bit of that. Thank-you. I needed my the mindset from that time, and not the one that has been dominating me the past week. I absolutely have to change back.
Sorry about the long rant above readers. I'm sorry it took my time to write it too - but it has helped me feel more settled. I think it's helped me move from just thinking that I need to change back to my better eating self, to feeling as though I am that better eating self, so that's a good thing for me. I don't know why writing does that for me, but it does.
Val - My girl is actually thirteen now - I don't remember whether I said that. So now I officially have two teenagers. In reality, I did already - she is sooo grown up - but now it's official.
Good on the both of you for your exercise thumbs ups!! I am not promising myself anything about today. Because it's SATURDAY and no matter what I start thinking about what I'll do, it somehow stays awkward and unpredictable, but ... ya-never-know and there's always Sunday.
I had to sit in the car for a while and wait for the girls to come out (late), from dancing, and the sky was endlessly blue and the sun was just so deliciously hot on my skin - like it could burn - so warming, and yet on the edge of stinging. And yeah, I felt beautifully relaxed, like I could sleep and love it, and then again, I could go to the beach and love it, or walk in the bush and love it, and actually ... I will make a chai tea, tidy my desk and work on my planning for school for next week. And love it. Because this will be the earliest I've ever got started on it, on the weekend, and just maybe, if I start early and do the most urgent things first, I will finish this weekend in balance. (edit: and have a balanced week?)
*crosses fingers*
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felici
Well-known member
It did rather boggle my mind. So many necessary little bugs! All that stuff about replenishing good bacteria after antibiotics seems even more important than it did. I wonder if people have little weight gains after infections?
That stuff about how BIG our gut surface is surely surprised me too.
it seems then that i have super-efficient bacteria
I wonder if mine might be super-efficient too! Nah. Actually I've always thought I seem to gain and lose weight as you might expect. I have known other people though that seemed to eat masses of food and stay very thin. They showed no evidence of an eating disorder or anything. Maybe they had overly hygienic guts?
cinderelly
New member
Your not doing anything wrongYour learning through trial and error and finding your signs/buttons/patterns...
Dont veiw it as wrong.Wether you binge, or it is planned or you just decide to eat more, so what, I mean seeing it acknowledging it as you do adn movin forward are the keys to succeeding, not hiding from it, not owning up to it and not admitting it.
You will get there, where ya wanna be and where ya feel comfy, you will find that balance you need/want eventually, even though it is very hard indeed.I still ahvent figured out the balance of work and a family yet...Sometimes I find it and then just as fast as i think I have it together I loose it...
I finalyl got my eating under control so to speak BUT I still eat way to many carbs even though I really have no junk and eat pretty clean...and still not enough veg, Im workin on it trying to balance everyhting out but it is hard...
You wouldnt be here if ya werent trying
Your here and your doing the best you can!
felici
Well-known member
Aw. Thanks, Relly, you're too kind.
I get what you're saying, and I see the truth in there. I also know that there are times when I feel like I'm honestly trying to get my weight loss right and praps not quite managing but also times when it's relegated to a lesser part in my life. Well, that might be okay in my current circumstances, if it's temporary - but it's very easy to let the temporary become a fixture. I'm sorta thinking of the weight I gained after my son was born for example. And now he's 15, and for most of the time since, I have been well over the weight I was before I got pregnant ...
Also, sometimes I feel that looking for the smooth paths, is the way to go with this, cos they're the ones that let us keep steady while we're building habits. Equally, I see that there are times when exercising my self-discipline in the food direction would work, and would be within my power ...
Umm. And yet I get what else you're saying - sometimes we're doing what we can given our circumstances and abilities ...
I knew even when I applied for this work, that it would challenge my ability to take care of myself, and still thought it was the right step to look for. I did at least keep the food going properly for a few weeks - so that's doable - I guess there is more space coming to me. We have ~ 10 week terms. We're starting week 7 now.
Sheesh, look at the time. Goodnight!
*crosses fingers - clicks Submit without editing*
I get what you're saying, and I see the truth in there. I also know that there are times when I feel like I'm honestly trying to get my weight loss right and praps not quite managing but also times when it's relegated to a lesser part in my life. Well, that might be okay in my current circumstances, if it's temporary - but it's very easy to let the temporary become a fixture. I'm sorta thinking of the weight I gained after my son was born for example. And now he's 15, and for most of the time since, I have been well over the weight I was before I got pregnant ...
Also, sometimes I feel that looking for the smooth paths, is the way to go with this, cos they're the ones that let us keep steady while we're building habits. Equally, I see that there are times when exercising my self-discipline in the food direction would work, and would be within my power ...
Umm. And yet I get what else you're saying - sometimes we're doing what we can given our circumstances and abilities ...
I knew even when I applied for this work, that it would challenge my ability to take care of myself, and still thought it was the right step to look for. I did at least keep the food going properly for a few weeks - so that's doable - I guess there is more space coming to me. We have ~ 10 week terms. We're starting week 7 now.
Sheesh, look at the time. Goodnight!
*crosses fingers - clicks Submit without editing*
cinderelly
New member
Well said my dear, no just remeber that when beating yourself up so to speak!!!Your description of Saturday morning is hilarious, Felici.
I guess it's true, you really can't make this stuff up.
Sorry about your egg.
And I really agree with Cinderelly's "rant", you are not doing anything wrong.
Even if you completely fail, blow off healthy eating for 6 months or a year, get massively depressed, and feel horrible the entire time.... You still came back and started working again. This time with a better, more sustainable, plan.
Keep it up.
I guess it's true, you really can't make this stuff up.
Sorry about your egg.
And I really agree with Cinderelly's "rant", you are not doing anything wrong.
Even if you completely fail, blow off healthy eating for 6 months or a year, get massively depressed, and feel horrible the entire time.... You still came back and started working again. This time with a better, more sustainable, plan.
Keep it up.
felici
Well-known member
Yeah. The Saturday morning thing is just too true - as it happened - so to speak ...
and next Saturday then ... we'll do it agai-ain!! . I can't get over looking forward to Saturday though - all those many years of "Yay, it's Saturday, no work ... " , even tonight, with Saturday looming in the morning, I have an unreasonably happy no-work feeling!!
At any rate, I got a lot done last weekend. A lot of school work I mean, and so this week was easier. I didn't feel obliged to stay up late to be ready for the mornings and one night I did NOTHING! OMG. Well, not nothing, exactly, but nothing for school, not after I got home.
I see there is light at the end of the long tunnel I'm in.
And tonight, I am acting as though I have enough time to muck up for a while. Which is how, I managed to start watching Louis CK, with whom I was not familiar. And this is his offering regarding Getting fat.
His material is full of bad language and not pc at all, but he has the psychology all worked out. This guy has tapped into my feelings and put them out there! I so totally got it about the parents of small children enjoying their mini-moments off - ie after they get the little ones strapped into their car seats, close the door and have a minute to themselves walking around to the other side. (Warning: he does say some quite outrageous things with a sweet smile on his face ...) Anyway, I have been cracking up for an hour or so and this is the bit most relevant to my diary.
and next Saturday then ... we'll do it agai-ain!! . I can't get over looking forward to Saturday though - all those many years of "Yay, it's Saturday, no work ... " , even tonight, with Saturday looming in the morning, I have an unreasonably happy no-work feeling!!
At any rate, I got a lot done last weekend. A lot of school work I mean, and so this week was easier. I didn't feel obliged to stay up late to be ready for the mornings and one night I did NOTHING! OMG. Well, not nothing, exactly, but nothing for school, not after I got home.
I see there is light at the end of the long tunnel I'm in.
And tonight, I am acting as though I have enough time to muck up for a while. Which is how, I managed to start watching Louis CK, with whom I was not familiar. And this is his offering regarding Getting fat.
His material is full of bad language and not pc at all, but he has the psychology all worked out. This guy has tapped into my feelings and put them out there! I so totally got it about the parents of small children enjoying their mini-moments off - ie after they get the little ones strapped into their car seats, close the door and have a minute to themselves walking around to the other side. (Warning: he does say some quite outrageous things with a sweet smile on his face ...) Anyway, I have been cracking up for an hour or so and this is the bit most relevant to my diary.
felici
Well-known member
So Saturday was ok! No fights. No stress. In the afternoon, both the children left to go to a free local concert and then slept elsewhere. I worked around the house, shopped for a kitchen tea (bridal shower), walked with my husband and the dog, and then in the night veged out and fell asleep early.
Today was similar, except with the kitchen tea taking up the afternoon. Not good food wise. And they have games at those things. You know, make a wedding dress out of toilet paper and stuff.
But this one had a competition - guess how many lollies in the lolly jar ... and I won... Geez. I guess I shouldn't have even put my name down on the sheet. At the time I was thinking that I would like to eat one. Now I have this enormous jar full. I think I will put it in the pantry high up and behind things, where it is hard to notice.
Today was similar, except with the kitchen tea taking up the afternoon. Not good food wise. And they have games at those things. You know, make a wedding dress out of toilet paper and stuff.
But this one had a competition - guess how many lollies in the lolly jar ... and I won... Geez. I guess I shouldn't have even put my name down on the sheet. At the time I was thinking that I would like to eat one. Now I have this enormous jar full. I think I will put it in the pantry high up and behind things, where it is hard to notice.
T2 Trucker
New member
Take it to school and let the kids have at it?
I'm not sure about you, but my hunger has xray vision
felici
Well-known member
Actually, my kids at home have managed to put quite a dent in it. I wondered about school. Once, that would have been the way to go, but these days I can foresee how that might cause some awkwardness. I know our school canteen isn't allowed to sell them, and I guess there's an issue of mixed messages for me personally.
As to the x-ray vision, well, I hear you! Out of sight helps me as far as impulse eating goes - it reduces the number of impulses. It wouldn't help me if I was already scouring the kitchen though!
As to the x-ray vision, well, I hear you! Out of sight helps me as far as impulse eating goes - it reduces the number of impulses. It wouldn't help me if I was already scouring the kitchen though!
felici
Well-known member
Thanks, wishes! Funny how the screams from far away can actually be heard in my pantry! Handy!!
I doubt my family would like me giving them away. When I walked in the door my daughter started saying, "Oh, I love you!" but she wasn't really looking at me ... I was battling to hang on to the thing, and then my husband joined in with rib poking so I didn't actually get to carry the jar very far. Also, fortunately my boy is the one eating the most of them and his exercise and growth schedule gives him enough space for a few wasted calories.
I would definitely have to give those away. If I had WON them, I don't think I could just put them in the trash, however I would definitely have given away as many as possible, right at the time I won them. To "celebrate". lol
And then just shoot the remainder out of a cannon or something. :O
And then just shoot the remainder out of a cannon or something. :O
T2 Trucker
New member
So, you never did tell us how many were in the jar! Logic and well-calculated or just a lucky guess?
Inquiring minds want to know
Inquiring minds want to know
felici
Well-known member
LOL! I tried some maths. counted along one side of the bottom and up to the top, came up with 200 or so then tried it again and got 600 or so ...
But they had a sheet with numbers from 350 to 450 and I figured that might mean the number was half way between those two - but not quite half way - so that narrowed it down a bit. I think it was 302.
But they had a sheet with numbers from 350 to 450 and I figured that might mean the number was half way between those two - but not quite half way - so that narrowed it down a bit. I think it was 302.