This is the time

This morning's equation looked a bit like this:

Where
m = me
ks = key to store room
n = neck
kh = key to house
a[t(wb)] = assistant from other room borrowing whiteboard cleaner
(1 over t) to the 10 = time before school starts
mkkkkkk = mum with many kids
p = paying at the last minute for swimming lessons
m2 = mum who always comes in at the wrong time
e = an Easter egg donation
C! = cash book
$20 + $10 + $2 + 2(50c) + 5(20c) = cost of swimming lessons
h = handbag that is stored in locked cupboard during the day time
cdpl = cd player that has to be stored in locked cupboard overnight
BB = teacher who thinks he doing relief for me but is actually doing relief for someone else
l = locking
ul = unlocking
cb = cupboard

{[(1 over t) to the 10 x (mkkkk + $20 + $10 + $2 + 2(50c) + 5(20c))p + m squared(e) +BB] -C!} + a[t(wb)] ul x cb +[m(kh) - m(kh)] + [m(ks)l] + {[m(ks)ul] - cdpl} + (mnks) + {mnks(ul) - h} + mnks(l) - ($20 + $10 + $2 + 2(50c) + 5(20c)) + a[t(sb)] = [$20 + $10 + $2 + 2(50c) + 5(20c)] - C! > m

Much greater than me in fact ...

and that was before the kids got in the door ... only two more weeks till the holidays thank goodness because I'm really over the merging of working in the day with working in the night with working in the weekend! I can get a bit of time off during the week as long as I work all weekend, but if I take off time on the weekend, I work non-stop during the week!

However -

not only have I taken Friday night off, I did something incredibly healthy and relaxing! I was looking for a different type of youtube when I came across these.

Now I am mellow as ... and definitely using them and sundry sound recordings again to help move me along on the times when I'm getting too caught up in the issues.

A friend I have who is truly much stronger than I am, and who has pushed herself way past her limits for the last two years with full time study, while she's very active with obtaining other professional qualifications and volunteer work, and ... (other stuff), sat down to write assignments this week and found that when she tried to do them her vision would blur and she felt like throwing up! She could see other things - just not the assignments! Amazing the tricks our bodies and minds can play on each other.

At any rate - time to relax - for a little while at any rate.



It was interesting in this one to be reminded about how we make better decisions and think better when we're relaxed too. If we're anxious, it's so easy to stay in the anxious place, feeling our worry is preventing trouble, when actually it's when we let go of it, that we're safer. I really do get stuck on the wrong side of this a lot. I think videos like this, and the sounds videos too, are really helpful when I'm stuck. When I'm grooving along I might be happy to just use my own thoughts but these things were definitely useful tonight. I didn't go looking for them so much as stumble across them while I was doing something else. Good value for me though.







I like this comment that the last one got:

This video has gotten me through 4 papers (and counting) in college so far. It's amazing how focused it makes me

I wonder if it will help me get through the last two weeks of school!?
 
OMG. I just clicked on an ad here. (Really, how embarrassment ... but yanno there were B & A pics ... !) I guess I'm a sucker for B & A pics - cos I did something similar here a short time ago. Tonight I clicked on B & A wrinkles and the other day it was B & A whiter teeth. The funny thing is, both times it turned out that it was just an ordinary woman who'd found a miracle cure by combining two products! Aaaand both times she got amazing results for almost no outlay - because the products were available as online trials!! Incredible!

How sad that I live outside the US and the free samples, and will stuck with my lines forever. (Maybe not the teeth though ... ). Well, one of the women said she was from Perth, but I guess there must be a Perth in some US state too ... or else the ad changes the place she's from to match where ever the reader is from ...
 
hmm is this like the stupid weight loss one where you combine 2 things like acacia berry and caffiene or something stupid which is a total scam?
I recall them stealing my B&A photos for one of those.
 
B & As and combining two products - sounds very similar. If there were free samples - "available by clicking this link" - then I'd say it was the same.

Bizarre if the company that pinched your pics is actually advertising here, wishes. I got the idea that the adverts must be put together by some third party who the moisturizer people and tooth whitener people were paying. That sounds like what the guy you contacted said doesn't it? (They didn't have your pics up in the adverts at WLF did they?)
 
yeah thats how somebody saw them originally i think. Im not overly fussed to be honest. Anyone stupid enough to fall for that deserves being ripped off really :)
 
Well, they've been creative with the campaign. I just think it's really off to steal the photos of a real achievement (yours), and pretend they're something else. Also, I am a bit gobsmacked at the advert being used back here!! I'm glad you're over it though.
 
Hiya Cinders. :)

I've had a good start to the week food wise. I'm happy that I finally got a grip again, but tonight I'm tired out and getting confused. I just want to do something different and absorbing for a while and switch off. I'm not so tired that I can't see how vulnerable this makes me. I keep retyping this post. Ok. I give in. I don't feel like going to that cloud video again. I think there's some palm tree thing that might work.
 
Yay. Here it is.

It's amazing. It's so short but it works so well. I love the circuit breaker effect these things give me - a direct route to relaxing when I don't seem to be able to switch off by myself. And video's just 2-3 minutes.

I like this guy. He has a bunch of stuff up there and I suppose I'll check them out bit by bit. I do get a bit switched off trying to use the same segment too often. Though a lot of his youtubes have some weight loss thing or other in the title. I'm not sure about that ... I see a direct link between relaxing and losing weight, for me, but I'm pretty wary/defensive about any new weight loss materials.
 
OK. Today I didn't eat well, but I didn't binge. One more tick. I feel tired out at the moment. *deletes explanatory post* I suppose it will pass, as emotional things do. I have been getting to bed early enough. I think I'm just sinusy and in need of more time than I have. and more exercise.
 
Hehe Ive done a bit of self hypnosis and even wanted to become a hypnotist for some years. Its an excellent tool to use for lots of things, especially when you are struggling with things. However i have had the odd time it doesnt work as well which is mega suck.

I have a really cool book about how to do it and how it all works. Ironicly i was at a really low point in my life, solo mother, unmarried, depressed, broke, living from week to week on re-rolled ciggerette butts, killing the pet chicken just to get a feed kinda thing. I saw the book in a book store, and i stole it.
That was about 13 years ago now. Within 3 months i was off the depression medication, 13 years later im happily married with children in a flash 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house, both husband and I work. I can get jobs easily. I can afford things i want. And of course Ive lost 70-80KG :)
What I would really like to do one day is send the $20 for the book to whomever i ripped off back then. And I will do it.
 
OMG wishes. That is absolutely amazing! What a recommendation - how much we can do with mind power.
 
Well I will be concentrating on getting on getting the package together (not just relaxing, not just working!) - not today - sounds like a cop out but not today - two more days till I get to truly attend to all the important things in a genuine way.

Today I had parent interviews after school. That was pretty good really. Useful I think. It made a long day though. Then when I got home at 7:45, I had to comfort my daughter who had accidentally locked herself in the demountable toilet block for 20 minutes at her school today. :eek2:

Now I am buggered. But I get one more tick on my list of the ticks that will eventually add up to a year of school - and for now ... ONLY TWO MORE DAYS TILL THE HOLIDAYS!!! :hurray:

So I must make the most of this opportunity - I will have 18 days with no school. I need to make them count in the sense that I use them in a balanced way and in a way that allows me to keep that balance into the new term.

(but really, for now I'm just thinking how can I get myself together to prep properly for tomorrow at school - and also just do nothing for an hour or so and go to sleep. Nup. Can't be done. Hohummm.) *Gets diary*
 
OK well it's truly the "holidays" now. I purposely had a couple of days of bludge and not pushing myself to do anything much. I say bludge, meaning sleep, random wasted computer time and a few DVDs. I still had my mum job, of course. I don't know if there's a way to get myself to just snap from one active mode to another – but I knew a couple of zoned out days would work. Then I had Sunday an in between day - a quick house clean, and had my mum over for lunch, and wrote down a few ideas about what I need to do. I sort of planned to start Monday - I wrote clean up the computer room ... I did start it today. I don't know what I did Monday – taxi driving, washing – I don't know really. I feel guilty about last night despite having started with good intentions. Amongst other things I know I need to restart writing and keep on writing more to help my weight loss. I have a bunch of ideas about how best to do that though. I let myself start in the right direction and then get so caught up in a little graphic I wanted, that before I knew it , it was wa-a-ay in the middle of the night. I feel guilty because I'm supposed to be trying to set up some balance and get restarted on eating and exercising and instead my first steps led me the opposite way to where I'd be getting overtired and losing control. :rolleyes:

I found that confusing though because I actually loved losing a few hours, and today I don't feel anywhere near as tired as I should. It really is so relaxing to be immersed in a project that isn't work .... I am actually torn about this issue. I see how fitting a little bit of all the things I need to do in my day, repeatedly, would be a healthy organized balanced way to live - but I think that might mean I left out something (a bunch of somethings) that I love intensely, and that make me, me, to myself at least. And then today I was thinking how guilty should I be - today I've washed (clothes and dishes and a bunch of bucket things for school), and shopped, and cooked and helped my daughter open a bank account and done a year's worth of filing, and made appointments for the things I have to fit in the holidays - lots of ticks on my list. I did a bit of admin stuff for school. Carefully stayed out of a giant fight among some of my on-line friends (if I'll ever be any use in it, it will be later on, not now); interfered in my daughter's fight with her friends (only to her though). Oh and I went for a walk!! And took photos!! Part of my aim for this time is to have a sense that I did have a break as well as achieve a few things. Yeah, I'm being partly virtuous, but I feel time running out still.

Regardless, I'm so glad for this time. I have the idea teachers in the US get a giant long summer break but only a couple of weeks off during the rest of the year. I reckon I would end up a wreck without this bit of breathing space.

So. I'm not ready to behave in an exemplary fashion and then keep it up for two weeks to try and get some better habits started. Clearly I'm not ready. Therefore ... for tomorrow I'm going to aim at 3 good meals, snacks only at snack times and any crap to be limited to immediately after meals. Plus another walk. And I have a doctor's appt - I asked for a long one but really don't want to mention my annual check up when I know I've been doing so crappily. I do hope I can get something to help clear up my lingering sinus hassles though. Since the cold (or maybe it was two in a row) that I got a couple of months ago, I've never really gotten back to normal. I feel okay in the day, though a bit croaky, and even vaguer than usual, but at night I notice it a lot. I think getting that fixed would help me with everything else. And I will finish my non-school tidying and phone calls here, make up my new diary ready to get bound.

There you go! Some weight loss related writing after all!

I need to think about this stress thing some more. I don't know whether or not there's a useful place to get to with it by thinking. Probably though, there's more chance if I try than if I try to just skate on, I guess. I'm thinking this. Some stress is from being too busy - not having enough time to do everything that needs to be done. So reorganizing is part of the key there. I need to actually work less though. I just can't work up till bedtime then lay down and fall asleep. Cos I just DON'T fall asleep! It's not realistic.

Also, there are the things that take away some of the bad results of the stress, like meditation, exercise, proper food. I'm pretty sure that this last term I tried to rush the relaxation exercises, I skipped the physical exercise and then the food crashed. I think I really need to get my head around the idea that I just have to take more time, quantity time at a decent time of day to work on those things. I still have heaps to fit in for work, but, I found that I had to portion out what I could manage to do for work, and make some of it wait, even when I was trying to get stuck into it full bore. So I probably need to grab out some more time for my health regardless, and make some work wait, while I get what I need. Also, I think the instant responses I have for my time outs have been poor - they just let me rest up a bit without being as positive as they need to be. I need to push in a bit of self discipline I think to get me past the "tired out therefore crashing" stage into a "tired out therefore relaxing" position.

Yeah, so I'm thinking: Forget the early morning exercise ambition (just some stretches for now), make it an early to school thing, then try to leave faster. (Sometimes I'm just brain dead at 3:30 but quite ineptly trying to rush around regardless.) So I'll try to leave earlier and give myself some exercise time then. It's the time that's always come naturally to me for that anyway. I won't try to plan that further. It will be hard enough trying to make myself get to school early! (Though I reckon I can. I reckon it's doable.)

Regarding the things that absorb me and take away hours without me noticing ... Maybe I need to have a space for them in the weekend somewhere, at least some of the weekends. That would be a kind of balance I think.

LOL. I'm just dreaming. I can see so many holes in that idea. :D

But maybe I can just pop it into my thoughts as an ideal. Better than nothing.
 
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i think i hear what you're saying there. Ive had to make the time i think for 'me' things like hobbies and other bits just so i feel like ive done something that was just for me, by me, and wasnt work or somebody else related i guess.
The cycling is like that, and i do some Photography.

Good on ya for staying out of fight between friends! Thats often a hard one, i tend to do the same. Its a no-win situation eh :)
 
Yeah. The fight is a no-win. Things got worse today, so I ended up spending a couple of hours on it after all. That's like 90 minutes typing all the things I think about it, and 10 minutes typing and retyping the bit that's hopefully worth saying.

My day was okay. I had to remind myself about my planning thoughts from yesterday, a few times this morning, especially after I slept in and almost missed the doctor's appointment, but thanks to that I actually stuck to my food plan. The doc gave me antibiotics (yay!) and an inept but well meaning pep talk about how to gradually make lifestyle changes rather than go on a diet ... (It was a toss up between him and a good chance of getting my antibiotics, or the doctor who wouldn't sweetly waste my time but might not give me the antibiotics. At least he tries.)

I bought clothes for next term. I didn't let myself dwell on how much better that would be if I weighed what I should. I was pleased that I actually found a few affordable things that fit and looked ok.

I didn't get the walk. I didn't push myself to do it early enough cos I thought I had plenty of time and then the time got swallowed up in unexpected kid issues and stuff. That's the kind of thing that made me think I need to do it when I first get up!! Today it made me think that I need to be well organized so that my exercise happens on the way home from work whenever possible, so that it's harder to be sidetracked.
 
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