This is the time

Yayeee!! So now I can buy hundreds of dollars in supplements!! What a great idea. Then I will be able to gain 20 pounds of muscle!! Yippee!!!

wait ... um ...

but ...

I just lost 20 lbs on purpose, mainly to be lighter.

Soz partha, your post's no use!

It is cool that I've lost 20 or so pounds though, don't you think? Seeing as I tried to. :)
 
Okay, well, I guess the last couple of posts were leading up to this one. The no-binge streak is over, cos today I only made it to around 5:00. Carrot cake at 5:00 (one of those flat bits, not massive, and I scraped the too sweet icing off the top). It was not supposed to be the start of a binge of course, it was supposed to be the single extra thing that would have been allowable. A 48 hour day would do it.

:iagree:With the 48 hr day, althought that would be dbl nights for me, LOL...

and:hug2::hug2::hug2:To the no binging stopping....

.

Well, I post here, plus I read and maybe make a one paragraph post to friends elsewhere. I fit in relaxation exercises though I usually fall asleep - so I don't often get a nice meditative state. I hug my girl (and other family). I don't actually work all the time, because I have other things I have to do, shopping, driving my kids back and forth and so on.


(My number went down again. And stayed down for repeats this time.

WooHoo for the number going down:)I mediate but I always fall asleep during mediation...I use c.d.s and I lay down , Im supposta sit but I think it makes no difference, it still works the same...I have been getting some pretty good heavy sleep.

I agree with finding some other souce of getting things out or distraction.

:D So we're probably talking about an extra 1000 or so calories onto my day and all within a fairly short period, and sparked by emotion - plus there was definitely an abdication of control by the time I got up to the icecream! That's a binge to me. The good news is the next day was good, and the next - so I'm not overly bothered right now, I still feel like I'm headed in the right direction.

Ya know it could have been a lot worst...ou are getting there, you are right and you are managing and dealing with it:)

I (almost) always have wholemeal bread, wholemeal crackers, salad veges, fruit, yoghurt, milk and tinned fish, reduced fat cheese, nuts and peanut paste in the house. If I'm hungry for a between meal snack, I use any and all of those things, and the best way, for me, is a carb, vege, protein combo - a mini-meal.

Most of the times I crave food though, it's not because of physical hunger, it's emotional, so a some diary writing, or chat to friends, a relaxation session and a walk would help better than food.

These are good foods and knowing it is emotional is the key...now you just gotta find what workse to deal with it at the moment and do what you can when and where you are...

Yayeee!! So now I can buy hundreds of dollars in supplements!! What a great idea. Then I will be able to gain 20 pounds of muscle!! Yippee!!!

wait ... um ...

but ...

I just lost 20 lbs on purpose, mainly to be lighter.

Soz partha, your post's no use!

It is cool that I've lost 20 or so pounds though, don't you think? Seeing as I tried to. :)

HAHAHA - you cheeky lil thing you:)
 
Thanks, cinders. :D

I had some pms and a friend request from Partha, and I now think she might be an actual person who is trying to share what worked for her. So my apologies if I have been unreasonably flippant about your post Partha. We do often get similar looking posts here which are just the work of robots trying to sell something.

It is true that I'm not looking to build muscle though. Later on maybe, but not for months, and even then I wouldn't be looking for bulk. Also, I'm pretty happy with the way my weight is coming off right now, so I'm not looking for any special secrets, just to add to my knowledge bit by bit as I find the time and the need.
 
i always wanted to sleep early but fail. My mind seems to be working overtime and i only feel sleepy or tired after 1am in the morning...

is there anything wrong with me? Any suggestions.


rene
 
Thanks, cinders. :D

It is true that I'm not looking to build muscle though. Later on maybe, but not for months, and even then I wouldn't be looking for bulk. Also, I'm pretty happy with the way my weight is coming off right now, so I'm not looking for any special secrets, just to add to my knowledge bit by bit as I find the time and the need.

Anytime, Im sorry I haven't been by for a bit.:huug2:

Im so glad the scale is moving and you are happy with it:):):)I finally have the scale moving too...who would have thunk I would be one of the few ppl that loose when on a permant over night and not gain but in all reeality my body really needs very little right now to function...Im never hungry with working the nights...
 
So my apologies if I have been unreasonably flippant about your post Partha. We do often get similar looking posts here which are just the work of robots trying to sell something.

I get reasonably flippant with spammers. Your first read was spot-on. I gave it its due attention :)
 
Spammerz! If you get an address, lemme know, I'll drop by an slap 'em. ;)

20 pounds already, Felici? :D
Me = glad to hear it.
 
i always wanted to sleep early but fail. My mind seems to be working overtime and i only feel sleepy or tired after 1am in the morning...

is there anything wrong with me? Any suggestions.


rene

I can't tell if there's anything wrong with you. :) However, a lot of people have the same problem of not being able to get to sleep as early as they'd like. I don't think that means they have something wrong with them, but mostly I reckon they'd be better off, if they could.

Certainly anyone who is trying to lose weight will find it easier to do if they can get an amount of sleep that helps them feel good. From what I've read, and from people I know, the amount needed seems to fluctuate from person to person.

Most of the time, I don't have a problem getting to sleep. I have a problem getting to bed, which is something different to you, by the sound of it. My ongoing issue is more to do with time management and self discipline. Just recently, I've had a few nights where I can't easily sleep, after I go to bed. That's different. That's because of some unusual circumstances I'm in - the night before my first day in a job that I've been working towards for 10 years, for example. For that, I'm just sorry I couldn't sleep better, but rather resigned. It's not a thing I can practice dealing with really.

So, falling asleep isn't too hard for me. If it was I would try the things they suggest for insomnia. These ideas are off the top of my head - if I had a problem I'd google for websites specific to the issue.

- Try to get up at the same time every day.
- Don't eat too close to bedtime - maybe have milk before bed, though.
- Consider the possibility of alcohol related issues - this can lead to sleep disturbances.
- Take time to unwind before trying to go to bed - an hour or so of relaxing activities - not exercising too close to bedtime, not going on the computer too close to bedtime, or doing doing intellectually stimulating activities, though reading may be helpful.
- Try to develop a regular routine that leads to bed.
- Get enough exercise (but earlier in the day, not late in the evening).
- Deal with issues that are causing stress.

That last point is something I need to do regardless of being able to sleep or not. I talk about it in this diary quite a bit. One of the things I do that has come up here a bit is relaxation exercises. Actually the relaxation exercise routine I follow is an amalgam of many I've tried and practiced over the years. Because of the practice, I can relax my body very fast. I have to do more to develop the mental side of of it though. There are heaps of exercises on tape/CD. I don't know about youtube, I wouldn't be surprised if they have stuff there though. I do know that many people listen to a CD to help them relax and fall asleep - maybe a relaxation exercise that directs them to think in specific ways, maybe just some appropriate music. I've also had a few people here suggest yoga, which sounds like a great idea, though I haven't tried it.

Spending time getting relaxed can be worthwhile, because some of the relaxed state stays after the exercise is over. Learning to switch the process on is worthwhile, because it can be used repeatedly during the day if necessary. Of course, dealing directly with underlying issues causing stress, may be necessary, but additionally, considering how we are reacting to stressful events can have a big impact. Maybe the events can't be changed, but our way of thinking about them can ie Is it necessary to be stressed about them? Our thoughts impact on our emotions. For example, if someone should be with us but they haven't arrived - how do we feel? Before we find out the real reason, the way we feel depends on what we think (believe), about why they aren't there.

The other benefit of a relaxation exercise, is that it can be developed and combined with meditation or positive ideas that we want to put into practice in our lives - things like affirmations. These can have positive benefits all of their own in terms of helping us to get to where we want with our lives in general and with weight loss.

I hope that all doesn't seem too OTT as a response to your post. I guess a lot of this is just a reflection of where I'm at with what I'm trying to do, and thinking about your issue has sent me back clarifying the ideas I've been trying to work on for myself. Obviously I don't know a lot about your own position.

Anytime, Im sorry I haven't been by for a bit.:huug2:

Im so glad the scale is moving and you are happy with it:):):)I finally have the scale moving too...who would have thunk I would be one of the few ppl that loose when on a permant over night and not gain but in all reeality my body really needs very little right now to function...Im never hungry with working the nights...
I'm glad to hear that things are working out for you. I saw your diary today because I went to new posts, which I haven't been doing lately. I don't think I've had the right diary on my subscription list - anyway, it's good to see that you're making progress. I really like the new do too. :)
 
I get reasonably flippant with spammers. Your first read was spot-on. I gave it its due attention :)
:D This is very unusual spam! I have spam positive rep and all! :D I hear you though. Thanks. :)

Spammerz! If you get an address, lemme know, I'll drop by an slap 'em. ;)

20 pounds already, Felici? :D
Me = glad to hear it.

Ta! :) You never know - maybe this will be the Saturday when I finally make it through the Saturday stuff back to the Health Club before it closes. (It closes so early on the weekends - 5 pm Saturday and 1 pm Sunday.) Anyway if I do, I will weigh in and post a weight. I am still way up on my numbers from this time last year, but I am down a nice bit on last November.
 
Today I stayed at school as long as I could, collecting a ton of stuff to do on the weekend, but using the time I was there to arrange things in the room and put up an alphabet display and number display. I had to fight off the head cleaner, who appears on Fridays to try and get the school closed even earlier than usual. I think we both made our positions clear - I won't push the deadline too tight, and I won't be chased out too early either. I was sort of comfortable about it, though I wish I didn't have to defend myself on that front.

Anyway, driving home and I got that Friday night cheesecake yen. I dealt with it during the drive, reminding myself of how often the reality of that pleasure falls so short of the idea. I even made a connection to the negative feelings it would lead to soon after I ate it and to the feeling of trying to buy a bathing suit with my body out of shape. It seems all very logical to think that way, but I don't usually.

I was home very briefly, before out again to shop with my daughter, including a few groceries and take-away Chinese for dinner. I was over the cheesecake, and any go for broke, binge starting thoughts but still wanting a bit of down time in my food. I dunno how healthy or unhealthy that was. It was certainly influenced by my not having eaten for a while, and by my generally lowish calories lately. So I added some planned extras to the evening - a glass or two of champagne (OK, Val, a pinot noir :D), and a small amount of some quality chocolate.

I don't count that Chinese as all that special. It's just the easy serve yourself stuff, I've been getting on Fridays for a while. It would be more calories than an every night meal though. What I actually had was only one glass of champagne, the Chinese, a SkinnyCow icecream and the chocolate. By the time I ate the chocolate I wasn't that much in the mood for it any more, so maybe I should have skipped it (Idunno icon missing). Hopefully I got a yen out of my system though. Maybe not - I'm not interested now but there are all those damn Easter Eggs. I should have taken the time to eat between school and grocery shopping and then I might never have cared. Anyhoo, I doubt my calories were much over maintenance, if that, so it was all cool.

The awkward thing was that I was tired as and fading fast by the time I ate. So I fell asleep straight afterwards. That wouldn't be a problem if I was by myself, but I'd committed to watching a tv show with the girl (full of pornographic pictures of food). I dozed and watched, and then when it finished I got the expected call to go collect my son from a friends. The TV show was interesting, the experience was unpleasant though. I so felt like I was trapped in a bad place with cravings. I should say I was so sleepy that the sleepiness helped keep me resting instead of hunting food, but also I was remembering things like how I don't want to binge, and how Qjay said something that made me think he reckoned it took 5 hours to get over a craving, so maybe if I just waited it would go (even though it NEVER feels like it will ever go while it's there ... ). Anyway, time passed, the sleepiness passed, the craving passed. :D It's all good.

I am going to bed now and hopefully I will stay awake long enough to bliss out before I sleep. :)
 
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Well, the best laid plans ... you know how that goes.

After that last post, I pushed my luck in the heat, and tried to sleep without doing enough to get and keep me cool, so until I finally got up, showered, and put my fan on, sleep was elusive. Payback for me saying I don't have a problem getting to sleep I suppose. :ack2:That was a bad night. I stayed in bed for a long time, but woke a lot. Early in the night I was dreaming I was in a new house which was too small and bare and in which I was trapped. I woke, yep my reality is better. I slept. My tummy got bitten. I slept. I woke. And in the morning I had a long complicated dream in which my husband and I adopted three African refugees. :eek: It started out as a "how can we not do it", we'll cope, everyone's happy dream, and morphed into me dreaming I was awake and relieved, because OMG how could we afford 3 new children, then finding out it wasn't a dream. One of the children turned out to be an incredibly cute baby, who then started speaking Spanish - he had grey hair with a bald patch - damn it he conned us - but then again he was so tiny, he could hardly look after the children himself, I suppose people do what they need to cope ... I finally woke up and was SURE I did not want to be in bed any longer!

If you saw what my school looked like (the children), you would get that this dream (and the earlier one) screamed SCHOOL and RELAX and BACK OFF to me ... I do have a lot of things established at work now, and though I haven't done anything towards school since Friday night, I do have some preparations complete for the coming week. Yeah. It's time reclaim some space.

There was lots to do for home and my girl yesterday, so I still didn't make it to the health club in time. I did decide that I don't have time to make that mp3 work, and found a way to buy headphones for my phone though. I did ring mum and had a long convo while I was working at home. I did go to bed early and slept long and well. This morning my back was sore from lying so long. I did some movements for it. I got breakfast started and showed my husband my bites which had gone crazy and were looking eczma-ish and he said he thought it might be shingles. It did look like it - so off I raced to the doc. Nope. It's okay - just madly irritating bites. That was my health club time gone again though. So anyway, I went there long enough to weigh in. Then I went and checked out a new one that opened last year, then I went for a great walk in the bush with the dog. My body was really screaming out for the exercise by then. My body and my emotions I guess. No matter how I tried, I wasn't getting over the hump I was at, using my mind alone, I needed the movement.

Well, I might need more than adding exercise I suppose, but hopefully I'm at a spot where I can back off on work a bit, and up the exercise a bit, and get a more balanced day and week for myself.

Anyway, the new club is nice. It has the advantage of being open Saturdays and Sundays til 7 pm. The main pool will be crowded compared to my current club, and has kids, but it has a therapy pool which is smaller but ok, and empty. The main reason I wouldn't just switch is that the bikes in the gym are too tall for me, and I wouldn't be able to ride them. I think the reason I learned to ride and enjoy the ones in my current club last year is that they are lower than normal, and I'm guessing that the reason I never managed it previously (because the pain was so extreme) was that exercise bikes normally are too high for me. I particularly liked the bikes because they were so great for my knees. Another disadvantage with the new club is that it has a food bar near the public pool area. I don't fancy walking in and out past the gigantic chocolate muffins they had there today. Soooo. I think I'll stay where I am, and maybe pay to just use the other pool on a casual basis. Both the clubs are just a short detour from my drive home from school, so .... I dunno ... maybe I need to rethink when/how I try to fit exercise into the schedule.

Of course, actually I can do other exercise at home, and I can walk virtually any day. However, I would like to ride a bike sometimes, plus at times there are issues with daylight and at other times there are issues with sore feet! If I've worked all day or on Saturday's maybe shopped a lot, I often come home with my feet already sore, and the last thing I feel like is going for a walk. A swim or an exercise bike might be really appealing though - just for the stretch and the aerobic aspects.


Anyway, the walk was great. It's hot today but bearable. I strode out, I listened to my music and it just felt right. I'm not ecstatic after it but I feel better than I did.
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The scales at the club turned out to be close to my home scales right now. 88.9 kg (195.5 lb). The lowest weight I got to 18 months ago was 66 point something kgs, so I'm still way up on that, but I'm getting there.
 
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:O 5 hours! For a craving?!
You are so lucky... it takes about 3-5 hours for me to feel full after a meal. No matter HOW big it is. :(

I'm glad you are doing well overall though (sleep-related issues aside) just remember there will be good days and bad days, and hopefully they will go from "bad" to "okay". You wouldn't want all good days anyhoo; it's just make you spoiled.

Have fun :D
 
Wishes - Ta. I think you might have been implying that I was over reacting - and I agree. :D There's stuff been going on with me that I need to take notice of - but equally I tried so hard to relax this weekend, and all I did was get myself into a totally over anxious state. Worrying about being worried. I finished up Sunday night responding to irrational ideas without properly articulating them. I was of course telling myself to relax, etc etc - but really failing. I think I needed to notice what the underlying issues were for me, and see that there wasn't much real evidence to support my anxiety.

Once I got back to school and had to just do things and observe what was happening (which really was all pretty good), I got a better perspective again.

Qjay - I didn't say it took me 5 hours - I was just hoping that was what you meant (I'm glad I thought that too, cos I reckon it helped). Really it seems that it takes me all different amounts of time - but I have been told that it seems like it will last forever, but that isn't true, it can be out waited and outlived and moved on from, without being acted on. I believe that is true for me.

I just logged on now to kinda touch base here. I see that when I do, I eat better. My food was bad today. I had a training session after school, with nibbles, and I thought it would be ok to eat because it's common for me to eat then anyway - only I ate all the types of things they had :( crap included and that has sparked a binge - not my worst ever, but not good. I really don't feel like getting out of it right now either, I'm sort of having an emotionally restful night I guess, and I don't want to take up my responsibly eating persona again.

But what if I don't ...

I know the impact's not really worth it - this thing is like a rash that starts from one little lump and spreads a bit further every day till the itching interferes with every other thing.

I wish they didn't sell muffins at my school though.

Nah, nah, nah. I am so NOT doing muffins. All I have to do is let my assistant be the one that walks the children to the canteen (and it usually is her), plus I need to take my banana, and drink my coffee. I like that stuff! I like bananas. Plus I need to never put money on an account there, and never take my purse out my storeroom. Sheesh - muffins so close to my room ... Trouble was I started thinking about their morning tea food already because we ran out of bananas yesterday. It was too awkward to buy anything though and then I remembered I had back up food in my drawer. I ate a little tin of flavoured tuna. It was solid enough that it helped. For some reason I've been more hungry this week - cooler temperatures? poorer discipline sparking more of a cycle? I have been having sweet things - just small amounts but ... probably that hasn't helped anything much. I need to try to tighten up again - it will give me a more peaceful time with my food.
 
Argh, the food struggle!!! :banghead: I know it well. Fucking muffins! :cuss:

That walk is so gorgeous, how cute that the dog turns are waits for you periodically, I love that! I think you're dealing with the stress from work rather well, bravo! :hurray: Take care!

p.s. I have the weirdest dreams--extremely gory and violent. I dunno why, but I DO watch a lot of horror movies :eek:
 
I like bananas.

The world's most perfect food. Not even continental divide can change that :)

Just another song I fed off of to make me believe I could 'get there' on this journey. At my heaviest, all I had were dreams, come to think of it...

Maybe our real inner-strengths come from chasing those dreams, case-by-case, of course.
 
Aww, I like this sketch about dreaming at 3:45: "I hate to dream, dreaming takes energy--sleeping is supposed to be a relaxing affair! I lay down on the bed; it feels great, next thing you know I have to build a go cart with my ex landlord!" HAHA
 
Argh, the food struggle!!! :banghead: I know it well. Fucking muffins! :cuss:

That walk is so gorgeous, how cute that the dog turns are waits for you periodically, I love that! I think you're dealing with the stress from work rather well, bravo! :hurray: Take care!

p.s. I have the weirdest dreams--extremely gory and violent. I dunno why, but I DO watch a lot of horror movies :eek:
Yep the food struggle. Thank the gods it's not every day.

I do like to walk with the dog, usually. She's not always the one in front - just when I get that photo feeling. :) Thanks for the vote of confidence. I do need those sometimes, especially lately. :)
The world's most perfect food. Not even continental divide can change that :)

Just another song I fed off of to make me believe I could 'get there' on this journey. At my heaviest, all I had were dreams, come to think of it...

Maybe our real inner-strengths come from chasing those dreams, case-by-case, of course.
Oh yeah, Blondie!! I love Blondie - but I hadn't properly listened to that song before. It is really very cool too. Thank you.

EDIT: I can't find where it was, that you were asking about us swapping the weather - I hope your summer is on the way - we had rain today - and now I'm wearing a jacket. It's nice. I hope your sun is about to do the right thing by you too.

Aww, I like this sketch about dreaming at 3:45: "I hate to dream, dreaming takes energy--sleeping is supposed to be a relaxing affair! I lay down on the bed; it feels great, next thing you know I have to build a go cart with my ex landlord!" HAHA
LOLOLOL What a great clip. I hadn't watched that guy before.
"I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something!" Dunno about that - but I like the attitude.

He is spot on about the dreaming too. :D

Though of course, Randy's right about the positive side of it.

I guess I'm lucky that usually my sleep is just a source of pleasure for me. Just once in a while I get some kinda creepy dream that stays with me into the day and seems like a message from another part of myself. I have paid attention to those in the past too, and rightly I think. I'm glad I got my cool back about it though. Last night was good and today was good. :hurray:

What's with that flopping 10 images rule ... Okay, okay, new post.
 
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Example of my proper snacks here:

My after school snack for today.

One piece of wholemeal bread, toasted on one side. Some light cheese sliced as thin as I could make it go on the other side, and bubbled under the griller. A fresh mushroom sliced onto the cheese, and some sliced black olives on top of the mushroom and back under the grill. Yum. Warm, balanced, low GI. :D Makes me feel goooood! (and a cup of coffee :))
 
Mmmm... olives....

So, two things:
1. Any candy at all can set me off onto a binge. Try going for a week (come on, it's just a week!) without any to see if it helps reduce the daily binge urge. I won't do anything at all to help with the big urges, but it cuts down on some of the little ones.

2. My roomie turned me on to a tasty treat: Hot oranges! I put it in the micronuker for 30 seconds, spin it over, and 30 sec more (just an orange, about fist sized, peel still on it) and then slice it into several thin wedges. ZOMG it's good, and not bad for you, but the heat makes everything flow through your mouth and wake up those tastebuds in a very pleasant way.

Have fun :D
 
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