sirant
New member
A funny thing happened on the way to the sauna....
This one if for you Tom! And everyone else of course!
By now, anyone who has read my diary knows all about China and the sauna, so I wont get into too many details. But it has become a regular part of my weekly life. Especially since the sauna is right down the street from work and is truly a wonderful way to completely remove all those aches and pains associated with losing weight and exercising like never before in my life. As I have been going such a long time, the guys there all know me by name and have gotten quite familiar. And also over time my Chinese has gotten good enough that I can pretty much get any ideas across I want, if gramtically a nightmare. Essentially I understand them and they understand me.
Now, before we talk about the sauna, let me tell you about a reality of life in China. Men and women get married, buy houses, have kids, dogs and PTA meetings. Pretty standard. However, traditionally men are much more likely to "be dogs" than own them. Let me explain. In the very recent past, and for generations before, it is not uncommon and almost expected that men have wives, and girlfriends. If you are handsome or rich enough you are almost guaranteed to be in this position. This is a common feeling for men and women. Whereas men will question me all the time "why" I am faithful to my wife, women will also ask me if I "want" a girlfriend, even with full knowledge I am married. Even if not a girlfriend, brothels, though "technically" ileagal, are everywhere and all too commonly frequented. Big business here. I honestly avoided saunas for years because I didnt even want people asking me if I wanted "extra services". Luckily I found this place, where though it would be naive of me to think it wasn't happening, at least I am not approached about it nor do I see it happening.
Anyhow, on to the story.
Last night was like every Thursday night after work. A couple of baozi (veggie buns) from a street vendor for 15 cents and down the road to the sauna for a well earned soak. It had been a 37km week of running building up to it, so I definitely was in the mood for some serious steam and massage jets! Needless to say I was in a good mood.
As all men in the sauna are butt nekkid, there are few secrets. Over the past few months the employees have really been noticing the changes in me. Kind of hard not to see it when everyone is in the "all together". Anyhow, the boss noticed and now that he knows I am not the typical foreigner here that can only say hello, he started asking me some questions.
Like: "So, why doesn't your wife come here? Does your girlfriend come instead?" to which I answered "Actually, I have no girlfriends"
Jaws dropped! And not just the staff, other customers also started looking over. Then of course came the question: "Why not? You aren't fat anymore! You could have 10 girlfriends fighting for you! You are very handsome! "
This of course got rousing support from all 20 or so people gathered around.
So I told them in Chinese: "Well, its like this. My wife told me I am not allowed to have girlfriends."
After the laughter died down he replied "But you are skinny and have money! How can you keep them away?!?!?!"
My answer "My wife puts it this way. I only have a job, as my wife, SHE has the money."
Now whereas this may be belittling or derogatory in our culture, here it is the equivelant of the most hillarious joke ever, and the whole place was busting a gut! It may have been because my Chinese was so bad, but likely it was because I was being honest and not afraid to "lose face" in front of the other men.
Most Chinese men in that situation would rather lie and make up 10 girlfriends just to keep up the appearences of success. But my "I dont give a rats ass what they think" attitude saves me over and over again from worrying about what the rest of the world thinks. Definitely a cultural difference I am proud of. I never need to fear "losing face" because I never had any to begin with. And thank god for that too, lifes too short!
So not only a good soak, but I entertained the boys with my candid honesty and got complimented upside down and sideways, even though fully naked with no clothes hiding any of the less than perfect features!. And really, whereas I am not looking for any girlfriends at all, it is very nice to hear that a country where I have always been the odd one out for being so big, now considers me a lady killer and stud muffin. So even though I wont take the girlfriends (even the ones that OPENLY come out and ask me to...) I will take the praise.
"You aren't fat anymore! You could have 10 girlfriends fighting for you!!"
Nicest thing I heard all week!!
I wonder how you say "stud muffin" in Chinese......
sirant
This one if for you Tom! And everyone else of course!
By now, anyone who has read my diary knows all about China and the sauna, so I wont get into too many details. But it has become a regular part of my weekly life. Especially since the sauna is right down the street from work and is truly a wonderful way to completely remove all those aches and pains associated with losing weight and exercising like never before in my life. As I have been going such a long time, the guys there all know me by name and have gotten quite familiar. And also over time my Chinese has gotten good enough that I can pretty much get any ideas across I want, if gramtically a nightmare. Essentially I understand them and they understand me.
Now, before we talk about the sauna, let me tell you about a reality of life in China. Men and women get married, buy houses, have kids, dogs and PTA meetings. Pretty standard. However, traditionally men are much more likely to "be dogs" than own them. Let me explain. In the very recent past, and for generations before, it is not uncommon and almost expected that men have wives, and girlfriends. If you are handsome or rich enough you are almost guaranteed to be in this position. This is a common feeling for men and women. Whereas men will question me all the time "why" I am faithful to my wife, women will also ask me if I "want" a girlfriend, even with full knowledge I am married. Even if not a girlfriend, brothels, though "technically" ileagal, are everywhere and all too commonly frequented. Big business here. I honestly avoided saunas for years because I didnt even want people asking me if I wanted "extra services". Luckily I found this place, where though it would be naive of me to think it wasn't happening, at least I am not approached about it nor do I see it happening.
Anyhow, on to the story.
Last night was like every Thursday night after work. A couple of baozi (veggie buns) from a street vendor for 15 cents and down the road to the sauna for a well earned soak. It had been a 37km week of running building up to it, so I definitely was in the mood for some serious steam and massage jets! Needless to say I was in a good mood.
As all men in the sauna are butt nekkid, there are few secrets. Over the past few months the employees have really been noticing the changes in me. Kind of hard not to see it when everyone is in the "all together". Anyhow, the boss noticed and now that he knows I am not the typical foreigner here that can only say hello, he started asking me some questions.
Like: "So, why doesn't your wife come here? Does your girlfriend come instead?" to which I answered "Actually, I have no girlfriends"
Jaws dropped! And not just the staff, other customers also started looking over. Then of course came the question: "Why not? You aren't fat anymore! You could have 10 girlfriends fighting for you! You are very handsome! "
This of course got rousing support from all 20 or so people gathered around.
So I told them in Chinese: "Well, its like this. My wife told me I am not allowed to have girlfriends."
After the laughter died down he replied "But you are skinny and have money! How can you keep them away?!?!?!"
My answer "My wife puts it this way. I only have a job, as my wife, SHE has the money."
Now whereas this may be belittling or derogatory in our culture, here it is the equivelant of the most hillarious joke ever, and the whole place was busting a gut! It may have been because my Chinese was so bad, but likely it was because I was being honest and not afraid to "lose face" in front of the other men.
Most Chinese men in that situation would rather lie and make up 10 girlfriends just to keep up the appearences of success. But my "I dont give a rats ass what they think" attitude saves me over and over again from worrying about what the rest of the world thinks. Definitely a cultural difference I am proud of. I never need to fear "losing face" because I never had any to begin with. And thank god for that too, lifes too short!
So not only a good soak, but I entertained the boys with my candid honesty and got complimented upside down and sideways, even though fully naked with no clothes hiding any of the less than perfect features!. And really, whereas I am not looking for any girlfriends at all, it is very nice to hear that a country where I have always been the odd one out for being so big, now considers me a lady killer and stud muffin. So even though I wont take the girlfriends (even the ones that OPENLY come out and ask me to...) I will take the praise.
"You aren't fat anymore! You could have 10 girlfriends fighting for you!!"
Nicest thing I heard all week!!
I wonder how you say "stud muffin" in Chinese......
sirant
my doctor told me my ideal weight was around 240 pounds and that to be a healthy fit guy I didnt need to go much lower than that, if at all. I of course thought he was nuts. I am sure if he saw me now he would tell me I was perfect already. Of course in the mirror I still see the big fat guy from days gone by, but thats to be expected. But I don't "feel" like that guy anymore. When I picture myself in my head, I look normal and healthy. Luckily for me I know my eyes are assholes and I dont trust them anyways, so I dont stress the mirror. But I know I still have quite a bit of weight to go, so why hasn't it kept going?
with the scale gods. Theres no way I can lose...