The man they call Sirant

hah i totally agree on you with the sleeping and sore backs., On the other hand i can now sleep on my back - which helps my allergies no end.
Also since i know surgery is comming and ill have a belly cut its going to help a lot being able to sleep on my back without snoring or something weird.

Good on you for not getting the KFC, ive had times like that myself, coffee is my savior in that respect.
Sometimes its not even the food, but the mere habit of spending money and buying *SOMETHING* to put in your gob.
My worst thing is needing cash, i have to go to a shop to buy something to get some money out via eftpos.... so im in dairy filled with wonderful shit i cant eat.
I walked out more than once with no money .. but ive since learnt now that i dont have to buy food, but bottled water, magazines, toilet paper etc.

And as you said earlier ...
It baffles me to this day why 20 years slipped by before I figured this all out.....
15 years almost for me ... sheesh ! if i knew then what i knew now and all that :D
 
Sirant,

Very nice work sir... I am glad you get to see rewards for your hard work with the scales going down. That is indeed the best part of it all!

Sadly, I am sticking to my guns and not trying to waver, yet I am at a scale plateau (I think I am losing inches, can't tell for sure, haven't measured in ages). But reading your post... rejuvenates me and makes me realize... relax... this shit will pass.

Kudos to you!

-Keith
 
Hmmmmm

Sirant,

Very nice work sir... I am glad you get to see rewards for your hard work with the scales going down. That is indeed the best part of it all!

Sadly, I am sticking to my guns and not trying to waver, yet I am at a scale plateau (I think I am losing inches, can't tell for sure, haven't measured in ages). But reading your post... rejuvenates me and makes me realize... relax... this shit will pass.

Kudos to you!

-Keith

You may be in about the same boat as me actually. Both of us lost 50+ pounds, both of us getting near the end game..... Maybe it really is true that our bodies will decide when it has lost enough, despite our best efforts... Either way we both have done great up to this point.

For me, the weight is still coming off on the scales, but not nearly as fast as it used to. Up till this month I was having 2-4 pound weeks. Now I am lucky to get 1 pound every 1-2 weeks. But it is definitely coming off. One thing I noticed is that the belly fat is shriking inwards and the quads are REALLY starting to bulge outwards. I think when I hit my goal I am going to have legs that will make Steve green with envy! I am hoping that the legs are growing in relation to the belly shrinking and thats why the scale aint really moving. I dont consider it a plateau at all because I can visibly see the fat going away. Getting creepy actually as my belly now hangs down loosely and I can grab it like a suitcase handle. One quick snip and it would all be gone. It has never felt so soft and mushy before.....

But yeah, we'll just have to keep up the good work buddy. I am going to start up my strength training regime again soon as I have been taking a bit of a break from that since I run so damn much and and have pretty tired and stressed lately. Excuses I know.

Its going to be even more challenging for me soon as my bad luck week just keeps getting worse. I now have 2 relatives who have been hospitalized back home and I feel so shitty because I can't even go see them. Granny just fell and broke her hip at 82 years old and less than 80 pounds and is due for surgery back home tomorrow. This may be it for her and I feel like a sack of shit because I simply dont have the means right now to make the 14 hour flight back to go see her. Will break my heart if the worst case scenario occurs. Then for sure I am going to have to be on serious food watch as the emotional eating has almost gotten the better of me so many times this week already, how many more straws can this camels back take.....?

sirant
 
Thats really rough to hear... I hope everything goes well for you and your family. It's a rough situation to not be able to respond the way you want to.

Keep us posted, I am generally concerned and it helps for you to have someone to talk to.
 
Bugger about the family sir,

Time to stockpile some low calorie munchies for worst case senario. popcorn is a good one.
 
Sirant, so sorry to hear about your grandma. I know how that must tear you up.

I'm not surprised the weight is coming off more slowly now -- you're entering my territory now. :)

Have a great weekend!
 
Hey.... havn't seen ya arounnd for a few days... everything under control?
Or maybe u are able to make the trip home and take care of your granny.
Watever it is, look up and persevere on ya! These trials will make u stronger. There is a rainbow for everyone.:)
 
Where to start.....? I dunno, how about blah?

Yeah, blah.....

Not sure why. Hasn't been an exceptionally bad week or anything, other than a head cold from hell starting up as we speak *cough cough*

Actually I did some great things this past weekend which I just can't seem to get "hyped" over. The scales have been an asshole again, but that doesnt get me down at all really. I am definitely still shrinking, no question about that. It is getting more and more noticable in the belly and lower belly areas. Finally! And wow, some of you may not want to hear this, but if I knew when I was a teenager or young man how much more predominant and "visible" a certain lower appendage of mine would become by losing weight, I would have never EVER gotten so overweight! I mean SERIOUSLY guys... I am like a new man! Nobody ever told me about this particular side benefit of losing weight but I wish they would have! Might have made all the difference! There is FAR more going on down there now than ever before. I suppose some women might complain that their breasts shrink when they lose weight, well trust me boys, it is the exact opposite for men. Crazy, but true! And I aint talking about your breasts either boys..... I wont go into more detail than that for the benefit of my possibly more sensitive audiences...

As for more mundane topics, my right thigh is still not better, which kind of dissapoints me. Its weird though, it feels great when I run, but its walking that hurts.... Too odd. I have decided to run every second day instead of every day until it is better. I am literally amazed at myself for still running actually. The temperature online say 41C (105.8F) yet when I get outside it seems to be fine and I run home anyways. No dizziness or heat exhaustion worries at all. That in itself speaks volumes about my current fitness levels. Last year at this time I would dread even walking half a block to the bus stop, and even then I would be a sweaty, uncomfortable and unhappy mess by the time I got there. Now I find running in the heat makes me feel better as the wind going past me keeps me much cooler and feeling better than standing still or walking. I will keep it up until the heat absolutely forces me to quit, but I am going down fighting. No more looking for the easy way out! Never again..... I will run as much as possible until it is literally dangerous to do so.

Still not sure why I have the blahs though.... This weekend was good. I am designing a new website based on weight loss. A am looking at a new concept that really hasnt had much exposure specifically in the weight loss field. On finding my way to a pro designer (since I can design the site, but the user system and databases are over my head) I ran across a Vietnamese restaurant for the first time in China. WOW! I love Veitnamese food and it can be very healthy as so much of it is steamed and BBQ'd instead of fried!! So I took the family down on Saturday and it was just as good as I had hoped. So not only did I have my vermicelli and mixed grill, but as it is a Thai restaurant too, I had mango and papya salad and a Singha (Thai) beer! So super yummy!!! So after enjoying our meals we decided to walk through the brand new underground shopping center where the mall is located. And suprise suprise we found a designer mens clothing store that had more clothes in my current size than I ever imagined possible in China! Wow!!! You have probably heard me bitching in past diary entries about how my clothes at work are like clown clothes, since even though the tailored pants are smaller in the waist, they still "puff out" around the crotch and hips so you really couldnt even see I had lost weight. Well, the pants were 99rmb per pair (12$) but if you bought 2 pairs they were 100rmb (12.50$) for both pairs and they were the right size! No more balloon ass! On top of that I got a really cool new tie! A great pre-fathers day for sure! And now I know where to go get great, fashionable clothes in MY size!! I finally feel like I look closer on the outside to how I feel on the inside. At least when I am not so blah.

I also spent some time and effort this weekend to completely revamp and re-style my this weekend. Personally I think it looks 300% better and less juvenille. It was quite a bit of work re-doing it all and getting it back online in such a short time, but now I can relax and worry more about the weight loss site to come...

Other than that, grannies surgery went well and she is recovering nicely and my sister is also recovering well and doesnt look like she has been in a hockey fight anymore. SO things are definitely on the upswing all around, just wish I could kick this down in the dumps feeling I am currently having. Ah well. At least these blahs are not weight loss related...

Anyhow, blahs aside the scale is poised to hopefully dip down once again to its lowest level in my adult life. I can sure feel deep inside myself all those little desires to eat bad food to make myself feel better. Holy Heroin Junky Batman!! But knowing they are there and what they represent sure makes it easier to just say no. The short term gratification simply isn't worth the long term health problems and heart wrenching guilt. I will just have to find another way to beat the blahs...

Onward and upward I guess.....

sirant
 
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I wont go into more detail than that for the benefit of my possibly more sensitive audiences...

As for more mundane topics
---
Onward and upward I guess.....

I guess I'm not one of the more sensitive ones, but your change of topic seems to imply that the first topic is of the heavenly kind... :angel:
Hearty congrats on that and all the other good news. I would kinda think that alone would lift you up (your spirits, I mean, jeeeesh, that sounded dirty..). :p
::blushing::
::yup, still have the ability to do that::
Anyway, I hope your thigh has the sense to stop hurting and you can keep on running as long as possible! :D
Julie
 
hehe bigger weenie! you should spam everyone on how to make it larger :)
I have to admit, ive always prefered skinnier guys because of that though.

Good to ear the family is doing better
 
Damn it!!!

hehe bigger weenie! you should spam everyone on how to make it larger :)
I have to admit, ive always prefered skinnier guys because of that though.

Good to ear the family is doing better

I knew chicks knew about that little secret all along!!!!

And truth be told, with all the miracle cures, creams, potions, pumps and pills out there to make the little sucker bigger, at least losing weight actually works!

sirant
 
I knew chicks knew about that little secret all along!!!!

I concurr LOL...I'd actually noticed it once on a boyfriend who was losing weight as well, so I think it's pretty common. And possible the only enhancement that actually works.

Good luck on the blahs, I relate to that. Also, being an expat isn't easy so make life fun for YOU...no one is gonna do it for you. (and I know what I'm talking about!)
 
A rough week

Hi all,

Just a quick catch up. Been a really shitty week so far and the end is nowhere in sight it seems. Getting to the end of my rope, but trying my hardest to stay on the weight loss track, as much as is possible anyways.

Last Thursday I got nailed with an extremely high fever which left me sweating bullets and suffering for 3 days, followed by a weekend of recovery, during which I had a nasty head cold. it was amazing, 42 degrees would normally leave me living in the AC, but in fact I was freezing cold with no AC at all. A week later still horkin stuff out of my lungs but essentially back together. My weight dropped down to 235 and then 233 even for a couple days when I simply couldnt eat. I was literally delirious and seeing shit that wasn't there. I could hear "myself" talking to myself.... Then on monday, of course, due to the non-caring corporate attitude most of these big corporations exhibit, I was back to work and suffering. On returning home that night I found out my grandmother had passed away back home. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. I once again checked with our company policy, and since it was "just" my grandmother (one of my only 3 family members back home) I would not be allowed to have any bereavement or funeral time off. So if I wanted to attend her funeral I would not only lose my salary for the trip, but the very expensive summer airfare as well. On top of that I would have to beg my boss to approve the "unpaid" time off. Let me tell you, had I not been so sick and weak my desk might well have been through the window here... I thought these big coporations sucked for making us account for every staple and photocopy (I am NOT kidding about the staples...) but this took the cake. So long story short, I will not be coming home to be with my mother and sister when they need me, even though they were of course being brave and telling me it was ok. Its not ok, and I am not happy about it. But also I cant afford to just up and quit or go without pay either as I do have a family to support here. Its REALLY not easy having 2 families on either side of the globe.... So I am stiff as hell, sore, coughing and hacking, nose is running like a marathon and I ache from head to toe.

SO last night was supposed to be a small break, consisting of me hitting the sauna for the first time in weeks. However, yesterday my wife also picked up the same nasty fever and sickness I did yesterday out of the blue, except she has also been hit with a painful stomach flu. So no sauna, straight home to make sure my daughter and wife are ok. Now not only can I not stay home to take care of her, but now I need to make even more arrangments to make sure she and my daughter are being taken care of as well. With zero energy and a generally piss poor attitude this has made this week an utter nightmare.

My eating is erratic and all over the board. My eating plan which was working so well has been replaced with fast food and making due with what I can, exercise is something I look back upon fondly but simply cant find the time or energy to do these days. My weight has gone down to 233 and back up to 244 and everywhere in between. And all my coworkers and people around me are giving me shit because I don't "smile as much" any more.....

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I need a f*#&%ing holiday.....

I have no idea why my weight is down to 236 this morning, but I will take it. Based on the shit food I have been eating, and honestly, the beers I have been having here and there to get me to sleep at night, I am suprised I am not back up to 250. MY poor body is getting put through the ringer to match my fragile and cracking emotional state.

Hopefully the sickness of my wife and myself gets better soon so I can give myself a chance to get my thoughts in order again. Till then please send me some strength people. I have never before in my life felt such a void inside of me needing some kind thoughts or prayers to keep my going. Normally I like to be the strong one offering support and strength to any who need it, but this time I am faltering myself and would be in heaven just to crawl under a bush somewhere and not come out again until everything is better. But I can't. Even at my lowest I still have to keep going to help my family and the people around me.

Send me some strength people, the big man is down and needs some support.

sirant
 
Sirant man,

Damn man, you will be in my prayers. We all need help sometimes, and I try to give as much help as I can.

You have always been so articulate and straight forward on these forums :). And you provide a ton of insight for me...and you keep showing me that I am not the only one struggling and some people is actually going through the same stuff that I am going through (I relate to everything that you have written). This will be over soon, and you and your wife will be back to your normal selves (and your normal eating / exercising patterns!)

Best wishes to you and your grandmother.

You know what? With all that jogging you've been doing, it shouldn't be that hard to swim here, eh? :rotflmao: (my lame attempt on trying to make you feel better)

Try to have a good day buddy :)
 
So sorry to hear about your grandmother, and that really is shitty that they won't give you any bereavement leave. I hope you and your wife get better soon!
 
Oh no sounds like an absolute crap week dude. Bugger about not being able to go to your grandmothers funeral, but i guess you and your family have to come first - them being sick as well wont help at all.

My thoughts are with you and the family, dont stress about the weight too much - it fluctuates a fair bit when you're sick anyway (so ive noticed).
 
Well, I am back....

And it really was a crappy week wishes, X2. Not only did I and my wife get deathly ill and experience a death in the family, but ultimately it turned ugly, the way we always hope it never will. Greed came into the picture at a time when the family should have been coming together, instead, ultimately, it led to a lot of sleepless nights and unnecessary worries. For me money was never an issue, I could have cared less. But I saw how much it was messing up the people back home and pulled my heart strings even tighter since I could not be there to help them work through it. Many a sleepless night followed for me.

Thankfully at this point I am able to put it all behind me. What is done is done and for myself at least it is time to move on. I have never in my life heard the people around me and in the office all noticing the happy friendly bubbly guy they were so used to was now replced with a tired, older and quieter man who was no fun at all. And of course, as can be expected, my fitness plans suffered too. Whereas I did keep running, I ws doing it on purpose to take my mind off of everything else going on, with limited success. My eating and drinking has been erratic to say the least, since I have needed much more comfort than usual lately and to be honest, a couple beers a night helped insure I at least got a few hours sleep before work the next day. So at the height of my deathly illness I dropped down to 233 pounds, then up to 243 at one point, and wildly fluctuating everywhere in between. I haven't been too concerned about it since my clothes havent gotten tighter and my measurements haven't changed, just the stupid scale. Least of my worries.

But now it is time to kick it back in to high gear. This train wreck of the past couple weeks has really thrown a monkey wrench into the gears of my birthday weight loss goals but I still have a month to do the best I can. Time to put the saddness and worry behind me and focus on whats really important again. That being getting myself into the best shape of my entire life and finally achieving my goals. I tell ya, no one ever said life would be easy, but I just wish they would have warned me how shitty it could get sometimes. Not that I could do much about the events of the past 2 weeks, but I might have been able to roll with the punches a little better. Ah well, next time I will do better. For now, its on with the battle and the increasingly un-helpful weather. Not that I will let that stop me. I have just been shit on and kicked around for 2 weeks, and I still have the desire and will to go on. What else can anyone do?

sirant
 
"But I don't have time to work out....."

Holy Pansy-Ass Cop-Out Batman!

I have been hearing this sooooooooo much from overweight foreigners over here in China. Makes me a little nuts to be honest to keep hearing from these big boys and girls how "lucky" I am that I "can" lose weight.... Makes me want to slap the lips off their faces! Luck had NOTHING to do with my success and it bugs me to have people downgrading my hard work to just being luck. Thats like telling a doctor he is lucky he is a high paid neurosurgeon.... Um no, the 7+ years and $$$$ of medical school did a lot more than luck.... Just like my dedication and hard work are leading to my weight loss success. Luck is for gamblers, not weight loss. So yeah.... I am "lucky" I guess because I decided 5 months ago to pull up my panties and stop being a whiney little pussy. And yes, thats what I used to be, except I was a whiney Fat pussy to be more accurate. And it all came down to a common denominator. Time.

Seems there is always enough time for work and eating, drinking, smoking, hanging out with friends, etc. But when it comes to exercise and eating properly, time flies out the window. But why? How? I am so tired of these people constantly complaining about their weight and asking me everyday "how they can change?" "what can I do?" "please help me!!!" So I try. Over and over again I try. Then I see them the next day in the shopping center with a cart load of chocolate bars, white bread, a flat of coke, potato chips, etc... Seems there is always time for fast food and 2 hour bus trips to the foreign market in town, but never enough time to do 30 minutes of walking or aerobics. Funny how that works.

It is crazy how "time" plays such a vital role in our fitness. The successful ones MAKE time for fitness, like myself. We get to a point where we are looking for excuses to go exercise. This is my scenario for sure! Yesterday was a prime example! It was 45C outside and I knew I would be pushing it if I ran home, so I planned to walk instead. Heat stroke is not cool. One thing about living in a sub-tropical seaside location in summer though, it could rain cats, dogs and elephants at the drop of a hat! It literally went from sunny and cooking when I walked out of my office on the 13th floor, to pitch black and pouring rain by the time I got out of the elevator. SERIOUS pouring rain!! The kind of rain that even with a patio umbrella you WILL get soaked to the bone if you go outside for more than 3 steps.....

GREAT! WOOHOOO!! YEAH BABY!!!!

I wrapped all my electronics and crap in a plastic bag, sealed up my backpack as good as possible, changed into my shorts and teeshirt, and started my squats/lunges and prepped for running. My coworkers gaped at me and asked me what the hell I was doing. When I told them I was running they looked at me (and likely checked as they walked by) to see if I had suffered a lighting strike or some form of head injury. Most people here will hide under any cover available till the storm is over. But not this guy! I took off into the storm, avoiding the cats dogs elephants and oragutans as much as possible. In 30 seconds I was soaked to the bone. I could not have been more wet jumping in a swimming pool. BUT!!! The temperature dropped from 45C to 29C!!! Beautiful running weather!!! It was crisp and cool and made the run just that much more enjoyable. I felt like a million bucks running down empty streets to the utter facsination and amazement of all the people trapped in doorways and under overhangs.

When I buzzed the buzzer at home, (since I had made it home in 30 minutes and would have taken 90 on the bus due to massive traffic during rain storms) my wife didnt say hello, just "OMG! Are you serious!!" I walked in looking like a wet rat but feeling like a million bucks. Not time my ass!!! I made time and it meant suffering a little discomfort, but I did it. SO today I need to wear an older pair of runners because my good ones are still soaked. So I needed to wring out all my clothes and pray my MP3 player survived the moisture (it did). So I had to suffer a little inconvenience to achieve my goal. What I want to know from all my fat buddies here is simply this: What part of that was luck? Would I have had more "time" waiting under a bus shelter for 2 hours for the rain to stop or paying big $$$ in a taxi to sit in a traffic jam for 90 minutes? Luck my ASS!!!! Its called balls and determination, not luck.

But alas, not one of these people who perpetually bug me to help them lose weight gets the big picture. I came to the stunning realization that in the past I was a pussy. Bottom line. I not only found every excuse NOT to do what needed to be done, but I actively went looking for those excuses. There is ALWAYS a reason NOT to exercise or eat right, ALWAYS, but to stop being a pussy we need to start looking past those reasons and finding reality.

"I am too busy at work to eat right, I have no choice but to eat at McDonalds" - I am sure Ronnie McDonnie loves every person who says that

"I would have to walk 2 hours a day just to get any benefit. I have no time for walking and too fat for running" - But you couldnt walk home from work those 10 blocks instead of the cab....?

"The only thing I have time for is running, so since I am too fat to run, I guess I can't do anything" - Not true, you can get fatter and unhealthier and make it even harder to succeed later, if ever....

"Aerobics are for women" - And heart attacks are for fat guys.... Think about it...

"I have no time in my day to even do 20 minutes of exercise 3X a week" - Wow, working 16 hours a day, 7 days a week must suck. Oh wait, you don't work 16 hours a day or 7 days a week.....

etc etc

I hate to say it, but I am getting so tired of hearing the whining and complaining I have honestly added several of these people to my blocked list on MSN. I REALLY do like helping people and trying to share with them what I have found worked for me. But to hear all this whining and bitching all the time becomes such a pain. I feel a little guilty because of it, but too much negativity can become a hinderance in itself. Plus, like I said, if I hear one more lazy ass tell me how "lucky" I am to be able to lose weight I may just have to show them just how fit I have become as I plant my foot in their ass.

Who would have thought helping people could be such a chore. But sadly it is becoming more and more so. I have friends who think my success has come from running, therefore, even though they are over 300 pounds, they figure it is all or nothing. If they cant run 1 hour a day why bother. Now, I point out to them all the time how for the first 3 months even walking hurt and I took my sweet time getting to a point where I could jog, let alone run daily. But again, time is of the essence, or lack thereof. Why walk and build your strength when you can try running, hurt yourself and have a REAL reason to make excuses about exercise for the next few weeks? Similarly I have reccomended this site and fitday and several others to every one of them, pointing out how the people and advice here have made a huge difference to me and educated me in ways I never dreamed a simple website or 2 could. To date not one has joined or even looked at this group, nor have they even typed fitday into their browser. I guess typing and reading take too much time.

However, they all, without exception, have time to sit on MSN and endlessly bug me to help them, to tell them the secrets, to show them how they can have the same "luck" as me...... Maybe I am doing them a favor by blocking them. I feel kinda guilty, as I said, but maybe by doing so they will get off their asses and go for a walk around the block instead of waiting for me to come on MSN.....

Does that make me a jerk for blocking them? How much negativity can one person take? When does one just have to step back and stop helping?

sirant
 
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