The Journey to a better ME, with humor along the way

L

Losing43Now

New member
I have decided that it is finally time to get off all the weight that I have gained over the past year or two. I'm only 17 years old. I'm going to be a senior this year and I want to get off my excess body weight before I go off to college. I want to look sexy :rotflmao:

I want to be healthy while I do this, however. I was never, ever the skinny one in my group of friends, but it wasn't until these past few years that I have become the more umm.. overweight one. About a year and a half ago, I broke my leg very badly and I broke it another two times before it finally healed. This put me out of commission for half my sophomore cross country season (I broke it while at a meet), my junior cross country season, and both my junior and sophomore track seasons.

I love to run, but it's becoming so hard with my current weight. I'm planning on doing cross country and track this year, but I don't want to be too fat that I'm not even able to run a mile or two =P.

I'm picking now is because it is the best time for me to embark on this journey, for a number of reasons.

  1. School just ended, so I have the whole summer to change the way I look, then wow the people when I come back
  2. I want to be in shape for Cross Country
  3. My boyfriend of seven months just broke up with me and I need something else to consume me so that our break up cannot.

For now, I will have a few basic goals that I will try to meet daily in order to complete this goal of mine.

  • Eat between 1250 and 1500 calories per day
  • Try to get 8 hours of sleep a night
  • Record all food
  • Write in here as much as possible
  • Drink 8 glasses of water a day, 1 of which can be from diet white tea.

For now, this is what I'm going to be concentrating on. I really need the support of this community as much as possible. It is set to my homepage, so I can't avoid posting here even if I have a bad day =P.

But I hope not to have a bad day. BUT I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP. If I happen to not post for more than a day without notice (I'm gonna be out of town for a while) then please, contact me.

AIM = bandosrock529
email= runforfun529@wowway.com

Really, I need this help =). I can't do it without you.

Right now, I'm currently at 163 pounds (weighed yesterday) I think the best thing for me to do is to weigh myself once a week on Sunday morning.

I hope that next Sunday, I have lost 3 pounds (to round out the 160's =P)

Thank you for your time if you have read this. I may also post later looking for some advice for my breakup; it's really making me go insane.
 
So I've eaten breakfast. Oatmeal with raisins. I really need to make up a fitness program and stick to it.

Any tips on how to do this?
 
Check out the posts called 'Work Out' and 'Aerobics 101' in the Exercise section!

Try running 15-30 minutes each day for starters. If you're not used to exercising, start off slow and do as much as you can, and as you go along.. add more things in and try more intense things.

This is what I did and it's worked for me so far!

Good luck :)
 
Hmm. I think I really just need to make up a schedule and stick to it. I can't just assume that I'll run if I want to.

I'm having a very had time with this dieting thing. My problem is that I'm not eating. I can't stop thinking about my break up.

All I ate today was about 1/4 of my oatmeal and raisins. It's almost dinner time, and I'm not even close to being hungry =(.
 
My problem is that I'm not eating. I can't stop thinking about my break up.
Click to expand...

Find yourself a hobby, or something to do that's fun for you to take your mind off the boy... break ups aren't easy to deal with - but you will get thru it - use this time to focus on yourself...
 
But this break up is very... unique. It changes daily and I just can't stop thinking about it. But, starting in one week, I'll be volunteering 9-4 everyday.
 
awesome that you're volunteering that'll help keep you occupied...

time passes and you will stop thinking about it - it does get easier...
 
I know it will get easier, but I almost don't want it to.

He broke up with me Wednesday, we got back together Thursday, I broke up with him Friday, He said no more at all on Saturday, he's all over his ex girlfriend Sunday.

Talk about moving on fast.
 
boys are silly sometimes and don't always know what they want... he's the ex-girlfriend's problem now :D you can do a lot better than him...
 
It's amazing how far back a journal can be after only a night!

So yesterday I consumed like... 400 calories. I know, it's bad. I didn't mean to consume so little, I just didn't really feel like eating anything else.

Today I weighed myself and... I'm down to 160. Now, I know I shouldn't weigh myself this much. I really only want to weigh myself like.. once a week, every sunday morning. But I can't help wondering =)

So yesterday I went out to talk with my ex-boyfriend and man is he stupid. Like really stupid. Like I want to punch him in the face, that's how stupid he is. He may have gotten a 32 on the ACT, but when it comes to common sense, he's a no show.

I kind of want to tell the story, cause I need advice. Will anyone listen?
 
Well last summer, Chris (my ex-boyfriend) worked down at the Cleveland Clinic as an intern, and so did his soon to be girlfriend, Nicole. They spent a lot of the summer together and he ended up liking her a lot.

She didn't really like him so much. But what she did like was the attention that he gave her. She is one of those girls, and I'm sure we ALL know them, that don't get much attention at home. Her problem was, she used to be a phenomenal runner, and her parents like that. But by the time 10th grade rolled around, she couldn't even make a full spot on varsity. So her parents, and mostly everyone else, stopped giving her as much attention. The way she now got her attention was through guys.

So they dated from about August-September. She stayed with him only because she wanted a date to our homecoming. When they broke up, he was very very sad. He liked her a lot (I'm not sure why, and to this day I still don't know). And it was hard for him to get over her.

So, I began to talk to him around mid-October. I had met him like 3 times before: he was in an engineering club with me, he was in my friend's math class which I visited, and Nicole introduced me to him once. This time we clicked pretty well and we had a lot in common. By November 14 we went out on a date and we talked for about two hours about our lives. On November 17, he asked me out and we were in bliss.

About a month after we started dating, he told me that he still liked Nicole a little bit. This made me distraught for a few days. What was I to do? After about 2 weeks though, he was pretty sure he didn't like her, and he claims to this day that it only lasted for those two weeks.

So, we went through the next 5-6 months happily. We were madly in "love" with each other. We spent nearly everyday together. We were so compatible. We both loved the same type of things, we both were VERY smart, we both had similar friends, etc. But there were enough differences between us that we weren't the same person.

Then I guess about three weeks ago, he began to like Nicole again. I had NO idea. I mean, I really should have. I really really really should have. The signs were all there. He texted her a lot. He started going off to places with her (I thought this was just because they were friends). He made me tutor her in calculus, etc.

But I was SOOOOOO clueless about it all. I thought, hey they are just friends. Little did I know that about 1 week before we broke up, they were telling each other they really liked each other and they wanted to have a relationship. This WHOLE time, I was about as blind as a bat to all of it. COMPLETELY. So, finally, I realized something was wrong on this past Wednesday at dinner when he came out with my family. He got a text from Nicole and got VERY defensive when I asked who had sent him the text. We got in a fight on the way back to my house and straight away, he went out with Nicole, Mark (a mutual friend), and Jenna (Nicole's best friend).

He didn't get back until about 2:30 AM and to pass the time I made him some cookies. Sugar cookies, his favorite. I even added blue food coloring because blue is his favorite color. He came back and broke up with me. The next day, I had my last final for school, and then he wanted to see me. We went to our local park and went for a walk, just talking about everything. He said he had made a big mistake and wanted me back. Then we just talked a while and I went back home.

The next day, we hung out like usual and he was his normal self. He still liked nicole though. And he still was hanging out with her. So Friday night, I broke up with him. I said, he could either have me or he could have nicole, but not both.

The next day was his grad party. He wanted me to come because he didn't really want to tell his whole family the story until he had made his decision. I'm pretty sure they knew anyway. His mom came up to me and asked me to PLEASE tell her what was going on. I did. It's really funny because his family cannot even stand Nicole. They see through her crap.

But he can't. That night he told me he wanted to be with her, even if it meant completely losing me. Talk about feeling like shit. I know I'm a better person than her. I know I am. Like, she may be a fraction of a point "hotter" than me, but that's basically because she dresses as if she just came back from the club. I tend to dress more modestly.

I know I'm so much smarter than her. I tutored through calculus and.. yeah, she knew nothing. I'm also a grade younger than her =P. Believe me, when it comes to smarts, I'm light years ahead.

And niceness, well she's mean, I'm nice. Plain and simple.

But I don't think Chris really cares about all that. He says he likes chasing her and giving her attention. And she likes being chased.

First, when we broke up, we mutually agreed that he needed to be with new people, and so did I. He had only had that one other relationship with her before and he needed to get out and see new people. It's kind of like buying a car. Even though his test drive of me (like the first 6 months) went really well, he can't just buy me (have a long term relationship) without seeing what other "cars" are out there.

But then, on Sunday night, he was ALL OVER her. I don't know what that means. I wasn't there. I heard this from our mutual friend Mark. Who, let me tell you, is not so much my friend anymore. He's telling me that I deserve to have no friends. He and Nicole are sending me text messages like "you are a *beep* *beep*" or other things along those lines. He's pretty much just like Nicole. He's trying to break up Jenna's relationship with her boyfriend.

So, I got kind of mad. He really thinks that these people are good friends! He sees what they are doing and he doesn't really care. He knows that his relationship with Nicole will last but 2 or 3 months, if there is a relationship at all. But he doesn't care. He wants to have "fun" this summer, even if it means getting screwed over at the end.

But I still really like him. I don't know why. I do. What should I do? I can't get him out of my head. I don't have any other friends that I can really hang out with. I spent the past 6-7 months with only Chris and Mark.

I've been talking to a few people about this, but I don't think I'd be able to become friends with them.

I don't know what to do. This whole thing is consuming me. For now, I told him that we should just put an end to all our conversations until he feels it is an appropriate time to start talking again.

Yeah, but I can't stop thinking about him.
 
I think I've decided that it will be impossible for me to even begin to try to understand him. So, for now, I'm just giving him my friendship, cause I think that's what he needs.

So, I haven't eaten lunch let. Breakfast was Oatmeal, 1/4 cup milk, and a few strawberries.

I think I'm going to go whip up a hard boiled egg or two for lunch.
 
It's so hard to see out from the inside. But from the outside, we'd say "Dump him, he doesn't deserve you. " This is a time for you to focus on you. Walk, or run, or find some other exercise every day. It will improve your self esteem. It also releases "good feeling" chemicals when you exercise.

I should follow my own advice. heh.
 
I spent most of the day with my ex boyfriend yesterday. I helped him out because he just got his wisdom teeth removed. I didn't eat too well, but I didn't completely have a breakdown, so I guess that is good.

Today I have orientation for the volunteering I will be doing this summer. I'm excited. Time to meet new boys =P
 
So, I haven't really been exercising. That will start next week. I've been eating pretty well. Not perfectly, but it's been going well.

Tomorrow I weigh. Maybe I'll be 160. That would make me really happy.
 
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