The Interviews Thread
- Thread starter Typhon
- Start date
So true, nice one ya pom, haha jokes!Great quote and right on the money!
Chillen
Here it is, the Chillen interview, I'd make yourself a nice big cup of coffee before reading this one, it's a biggy
It a very honest look into why the guy's like he is so it's well worth the time
Questions
Which character from fiction most reflects your character?
This one stumped me. I never actually tried to connect myself with any type of specific “fictional” character, rather I tend to connect myself with any “real person” that adapts and overcomes “real” major medical and physical issues, and personally excels and self-nourishes themselves beyond expectations. I just don’t compare myself to another person.
I tend to be analytical and philosophical when looking at individuals with various types of physical and medical limitations. This tends to put things in proper perspective, and makes my personal diet and fitness problems seem rather petty in comparison. I have a emotional connection with this (see question 15), and a personal connection with this (my wife, Kathy).
I am a firm believer that one’s mind can cause limitations to one’s physical capability that are not really there in the first place. Most people do not tap into the reality that the body is capable but the mind limits the capability. This is been proven through the works of other people, though they limit themselves with their “seemingly” petty mental blocks.
What first motivated you to start training and lose the flab?
I began dieting and training about age 44. I was over 30 pounds overweight. I weighed approximately 190 pounds, I was pot bellied, had man boobs and could literally wear my wife’s braw; I was an “old” middle aged man. For a few months I was getting out of bed with severe enough back pain that would sometimes bring me to my knees and bring tears to my eyes it hurt so bad. I had this medically checked, and I had no medical problem causing it. The doctor told me that a lot of my lower back pain would “probably” diminish if I lost a few pounds. At this time, I had no clue on how to go about doing it. I thought about getting a personal trainer, but the fire inside me of wanting to do this on my own was far too much to handle ().
Therefore, at first it was to lose weight to reduce the back pain.
As I was slowly losing weight, I was reading through a fitness magazine I respect, and reading about how to train the ab core. My wife walked by and observed me reading this article, and stated, “I really don’t know why you are reading that, you are too old to get your abs to show”. I looked up at her with a fierce look that would bring down mountain tops, and she “knew” not to say anything else.
No one tells me I cannot do something. The kindling-word-sparks of my mother burns inside of me (see Question 15), and they were just set ablaze, and my wife knew it, just by looking at me. Negativity along the lines we are talking tends to ignite me rather than bringing a negative impact.
I am a truth seeker; give me the bare facts sort of guy. I want no fluff, no smoke, no cloud cover, just good old fashioned bare and blunt truth. Therefore, when I went out to educate myself on how to lose weight this is the attitude I looked for in the information I sought, and the more I studied, the more I realized that the dust seemed to settle on some simple and basic requirements.
I believe now as as I did then, that the fundamental basics of diet and fitness are the “super glue” that allows any advanced techniques to work. One doesn’t need to be a scientist to reach their goals, but one does in my opinion, have to learn to “master their self” on their goal path to be successful. One has to master the mind-body relationship. Its within this mind-body relationship that can fail many people.
It wasn’t too long after this rather minor conversation with my wife, I printed out a large photo of a person’s physique and printed the current one of myself at the time. It’s important to note here, that I aspire to be myself not someone else. This pic wasn’t to compare, (as I cut off the head of the photo), but a picture of a goal I wanted and believe I could achieve.
I strung an oval shaped clothes line in my garage, and hung the pic of the physique I wanted in the far corner (or the end of the goal path), and my current pic at the beginning. In between were days, weeks, and months marked. Each day I trained and did well with diet, I would move my pic one notch forward. If I didn’t do well with diet or training I would move it back one notch. In addition, I would put the pic directly in front of me when doing cardio. As I progressed, I would put up progress pics in between. Eventually both pic’s met, and I looked better than the original pic I had started with. The entire line showed my goal path. I don’t use this anymore, as my goals have been met. I like the feeling of being lean and have no desire to bulk after dropping and then maintaining 7 to 8 percent body fat.
What keeps you motivated to continue to work hard and progress instead of taking it easy on the sofa?
My desire and fire stems from my upbringing (see Question 15). I have a heart of a lion and claws of a bear, and this stems from being told nearly from birth that I wasn’t going to amount to anything. Throughout my life I have taken this approach to difficult obstacles: You may be bigger than me, you may be stronger than me, but the engagement of battle will be so brutal, though you may have won, you will think you have lost, and you will not be back. These thought processes have manifested itself physically, and let’s take an example look:
On the very first day of Army Basic Training (Fort Sill, Oklahoma), the Drill Instructors (DI) were yelling at us to get off the “cattle trucks”. When we got out and we threw our duffle bags down, and the DI’s ran over and cut each duffle bag open and the threw the contents all over the grass, and then instructed us to get into the bleachers. At Fort Sill (at the time), they still had the original WW 2 barracks with smoke stacks coming out the side and going upward toward the roof, and they extended very close to the bleacher set where they instructed us to go. With this in mind, I ran over to the wrong bleacher set, and as I was running at full speed up the bleachers, I smacked my head on one of the o-ring sleeves sticking out, and it knocked me back making me tumble down backwards down the steps kissing the pavement with my face. It knocked me out for a few seconds, and I had blood pouring out the top of my skull like a water hose. I got back up, ran back up the same bleachers and sat. The DI then yelled at me to get in the correct bleachers; I then ran back down, and ran over to the correct bleacher set.
I required 15 stitches to the top of my head, for two weeks I had a 3“ bandage going under my jaw to the top of my head. The DI’s called me “bunny rabbit” because the top gauze portion would stick up and get lose because of the sweat as I trained during the day. I was severely injured, I got back up, and I continued. This is me. And, is the cornerstone, why I am successful within diet and fitness.
Heart can conquer many obstacles. I am the little man you want watching your back. I have a very low tolerance to pain that brings greater pain of self destruction; I have a high tolerance to pain that brings pains of accomplishment.
This is why I get myself off the sofa.
What personal qualities are needed to be able to get to sub 10% body fat levels?
Patience, persistence, psychosocial effectiveness (I am attaching this definition to the word, psychosocial: unique internal processes that occur within the individual), and a thorough understanding and application of the body’s: “Functional Adaptability”. This is not withstanding the appropriate knowledge, and application of this knowledge, of diet and exercise.
Have an understanding what the body is “prone to do” through its design intention. Everything I do surrounds this base premise, above and includes: 1. Diet (Calorie and Macronutrient) Manipulation, 2. Exercise Manipulation, and 3. The 24 hour cycle clock, and the conscious ability to manipulate the elements within 1 and 2.
I believe one needs to get medically checked to make sure there are no medical conditions that can affect or prevent their weight loss (or other fitness plans, to combat unnecessary time in “wasting time”)
What would you say to a man in his 40’s who thinks he’s too old to get himself in shape now?
The base foundation: Accept and realize the things you can change and accept and realize the things you cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference between them.
I will be 47 on August 25th.
Don’t let this age number play a role in negative mental arena. Just educate yourself on the "Bare facts" and "Truth" that happens as we age, accept them, and then deal with them----->effectively. What I mean by this is accepting some biological internal and external changes that naturally occur as one ages, and then take this knowledge and apply it to DIET AND TRAINING.
We cannot do anything about the natural aging process, BUT WE CAN do something with a circumference of understanding of what happens when we age, working WITH IT, not against it, and optimizing what this has to offer.
Some important biological changes that occur are: 1. The metabolism naturally slows as we age (but this can be effectively dealt with), 2. The Skin tends to be less elastic and doesn’t bounce back--as quick (and this too can be effectively deal with--if not too serious), 3. Testosterone levels tend to drop slowly as we age (and this too can be dealt with, but still will not be as good as one in their prime).
Take the time to learn the requirements of muscle growth and fat loss. Learn all that you can, and then apply what is learned. Realize it is never too late, unless you are in a casket dead. I would then go on to give opinions according their personal goal situation.
Here it is, the Chillen interview, I'd make yourself a nice big cup of coffee before reading this one, it's a biggy
It a very honest look into why the guy's like he is so it's well worth the time
Profile Questions
Name: Don Crews
Age: 46
Height: 5’ 7”
Weight: 161 (BF 8.7%)(working on 7-8%)
Occupation: Network Engineer, PC Tech, Marketing Developer
Associate Degree: General Studies (FSCC)
Bachelor Degree: Computer Information Systems (CIS), (SLU)
Bachelor Degree (2): Business Management, Minor: Philosophy
Master Degree: Computer Information Systems
College Credits: Well over 190 college credit hours.
Awards: Cum Laude Honor Graduate, National Dean’s List, Business Recognition Award.
Developed and implemented a program for my current employer called HISS: Hospitality Incentive Sales System:
Sub Programs:
A company with “Participative Vision”
Sales Stimulus System (S.S.S.)
Split-Infinitive Points System (S.I.P.S. )
Special Thanks and Recognition System (S.T.A.R.S.)
Customer Improvement System (C.I.S. )
Catch and Hook System (C.A.H.S.)
Employee Referral System (E.R.S.)
On-Peak Sales System (O.P.S.S.)
Penetration Attractants for Off-Peak Season (P.A.O.F.P.S. ) (pay-offs)
Military Service: K.A.R.N.G 6 years. (1983-1989); Honorable Discharge
Military Training: Army Basic/AIT, Fort Sill, Oklahoma
Rank: Lt. (Officer Candidate School, 1 year) 1986
Law Enforcement Experience: 10 years; earned Medal of Valor in performance of duty.
Law Enforcement Training: K.L.E.T.C. (Class #111, 1990, Kansas Law Enforcement Training Center), Hutchinson, Kansas
Additional Training: Drug Identification, Interview and Interrogation (Barton College), Narcotics Investigations (KBI, Kansas County and District Attorneys Association), Gangs Investigations (MO Southern State College), PR-24 advanced techniques training, Stun-gun tactics and use, Self-defense Training (still on-going, which includes the philosophical side), and others.
Reason Leaving: Physical injury on the job answering a call for service (Medal of Valor); my wife gave me a personal ultimatum, and I chose my wife instead of the love of my career.
Marital status: Married 25 years (once); two children 19, 22.
Years training: 2 ½
Favorite TV show & film: TV Show: House, Pimp My Ride, Yo-momma, Jack Ass (to name a few), Films: The Godfather (I, II), K-9, Turner and Hooch, Kindergarten Cop, Powder, and watching topics on The Discovery Channel, The Science Channel, The Military Channel, ESPN Classic, and The Natural Geographic Channel.
Name: Don Crews
Age: 46
Height: 5’ 7”
Weight: 161 (BF 8.7%)(working on 7-8%)
Occupation: Network Engineer, PC Tech, Marketing Developer
Associate Degree: General Studies (FSCC)
Bachelor Degree: Computer Information Systems (CIS), (SLU)
Bachelor Degree (2): Business Management, Minor: Philosophy
Master Degree: Computer Information Systems
College Credits: Well over 190 college credit hours.
Awards: Cum Laude Honor Graduate, National Dean’s List, Business Recognition Award.
Developed and implemented a program for my current employer called HISS: Hospitality Incentive Sales System:
Sub Programs:
A company with “Participative Vision”
Sales Stimulus System (S.S.S.)
Split-Infinitive Points System (S.I.P.S. )
Special Thanks and Recognition System (S.T.A.R.S.)
Customer Improvement System (C.I.S. )
Catch and Hook System (C.A.H.S.)
Employee Referral System (E.R.S.)
On-Peak Sales System (O.P.S.S.)
Penetration Attractants for Off-Peak Season (P.A.O.F.P.S. ) (pay-offs)
Military Service: K.A.R.N.G 6 years. (1983-1989); Honorable Discharge
Military Training: Army Basic/AIT, Fort Sill, Oklahoma
Rank: Lt. (Officer Candidate School, 1 year) 1986
Law Enforcement Experience: 10 years; earned Medal of Valor in performance of duty.
Law Enforcement Training: K.L.E.T.C. (Class #111, 1990, Kansas Law Enforcement Training Center), Hutchinson, Kansas
Additional Training: Drug Identification, Interview and Interrogation (Barton College), Narcotics Investigations (KBI, Kansas County and District Attorneys Association), Gangs Investigations (MO Southern State College), PR-24 advanced techniques training, Stun-gun tactics and use, Self-defense Training (still on-going, which includes the philosophical side), and others.
Reason Leaving: Physical injury on the job answering a call for service (Medal of Valor); my wife gave me a personal ultimatum, and I chose my wife instead of the love of my career.
Marital status: Married 25 years (once); two children 19, 22.
Years training: 2 ½
Favorite TV show & film: TV Show: House, Pimp My Ride, Yo-momma, Jack Ass (to name a few), Films: The Godfather (I, II), K-9, Turner and Hooch, Kindergarten Cop, Powder, and watching topics on The Discovery Channel, The Science Channel, The Military Channel, ESPN Classic, and The Natural Geographic Channel.
Questions
Which character from fiction most reflects your character?
This one stumped me. I never actually tried to connect myself with any type of specific “fictional” character, rather I tend to connect myself with any “real person” that adapts and overcomes “real” major medical and physical issues, and personally excels and self-nourishes themselves beyond expectations. I just don’t compare myself to another person.
I tend to be analytical and philosophical when looking at individuals with various types of physical and medical limitations. This tends to put things in proper perspective, and makes my personal diet and fitness problems seem rather petty in comparison. I have a emotional connection with this (see question 15), and a personal connection with this (my wife, Kathy).
I am a firm believer that one’s mind can cause limitations to one’s physical capability that are not really there in the first place. Most people do not tap into the reality that the body is capable but the mind limits the capability. This is been proven through the works of other people, though they limit themselves with their “seemingly” petty mental blocks.
What first motivated you to start training and lose the flab?
I began dieting and training about age 44. I was over 30 pounds overweight. I weighed approximately 190 pounds, I was pot bellied, had man boobs and could literally wear my wife’s braw; I was an “old” middle aged man. For a few months I was getting out of bed with severe enough back pain that would sometimes bring me to my knees and bring tears to my eyes it hurt so bad. I had this medically checked, and I had no medical problem causing it. The doctor told me that a lot of my lower back pain would “probably” diminish if I lost a few pounds. At this time, I had no clue on how to go about doing it. I thought about getting a personal trainer, but the fire inside me of wanting to do this on my own was far too much to handle ().
Therefore, at first it was to lose weight to reduce the back pain.
As I was slowly losing weight, I was reading through a fitness magazine I respect, and reading about how to train the ab core. My wife walked by and observed me reading this article, and stated, “I really don’t know why you are reading that, you are too old to get your abs to show”. I looked up at her with a fierce look that would bring down mountain tops, and she “knew” not to say anything else.
No one tells me I cannot do something. The kindling-word-sparks of my mother burns inside of me (see Question 15), and they were just set ablaze, and my wife knew it, just by looking at me. Negativity along the lines we are talking tends to ignite me rather than bringing a negative impact.
I am a truth seeker; give me the bare facts sort of guy. I want no fluff, no smoke, no cloud cover, just good old fashioned bare and blunt truth. Therefore, when I went out to educate myself on how to lose weight this is the attitude I looked for in the information I sought, and the more I studied, the more I realized that the dust seemed to settle on some simple and basic requirements.
I believe now as as I did then, that the fundamental basics of diet and fitness are the “super glue” that allows any advanced techniques to work. One doesn’t need to be a scientist to reach their goals, but one does in my opinion, have to learn to “master their self” on their goal path to be successful. One has to master the mind-body relationship. Its within this mind-body relationship that can fail many people.
It wasn’t too long after this rather minor conversation with my wife, I printed out a large photo of a person’s physique and printed the current one of myself at the time. It’s important to note here, that I aspire to be myself not someone else. This pic wasn’t to compare, (as I cut off the head of the photo), but a picture of a goal I wanted and believe I could achieve.
I strung an oval shaped clothes line in my garage, and hung the pic of the physique I wanted in the far corner (or the end of the goal path), and my current pic at the beginning. In between were days, weeks, and months marked. Each day I trained and did well with diet, I would move my pic one notch forward. If I didn’t do well with diet or training I would move it back one notch. In addition, I would put the pic directly in front of me when doing cardio. As I progressed, I would put up progress pics in between. Eventually both pic’s met, and I looked better than the original pic I had started with. The entire line showed my goal path. I don’t use this anymore, as my goals have been met. I like the feeling of being lean and have no desire to bulk after dropping and then maintaining 7 to 8 percent body fat.
What keeps you motivated to continue to work hard and progress instead of taking it easy on the sofa?
My desire and fire stems from my upbringing (see Question 15). I have a heart of a lion and claws of a bear, and this stems from being told nearly from birth that I wasn’t going to amount to anything. Throughout my life I have taken this approach to difficult obstacles: You may be bigger than me, you may be stronger than me, but the engagement of battle will be so brutal, though you may have won, you will think you have lost, and you will not be back. These thought processes have manifested itself physically, and let’s take an example look:
On the very first day of Army Basic Training (Fort Sill, Oklahoma), the Drill Instructors (DI) were yelling at us to get off the “cattle trucks”. When we got out and we threw our duffle bags down, and the DI’s ran over and cut each duffle bag open and the threw the contents all over the grass, and then instructed us to get into the bleachers. At Fort Sill (at the time), they still had the original WW 2 barracks with smoke stacks coming out the side and going upward toward the roof, and they extended very close to the bleacher set where they instructed us to go. With this in mind, I ran over to the wrong bleacher set, and as I was running at full speed up the bleachers, I smacked my head on one of the o-ring sleeves sticking out, and it knocked me back making me tumble down backwards down the steps kissing the pavement with my face. It knocked me out for a few seconds, and I had blood pouring out the top of my skull like a water hose. I got back up, ran back up the same bleachers and sat. The DI then yelled at me to get in the correct bleachers; I then ran back down, and ran over to the correct bleacher set.
I required 15 stitches to the top of my head, for two weeks I had a 3“ bandage going under my jaw to the top of my head. The DI’s called me “bunny rabbit” because the top gauze portion would stick up and get lose because of the sweat as I trained during the day. I was severely injured, I got back up, and I continued. This is me. And, is the cornerstone, why I am successful within diet and fitness.
Heart can conquer many obstacles. I am the little man you want watching your back. I have a very low tolerance to pain that brings greater pain of self destruction; I have a high tolerance to pain that brings pains of accomplishment.
This is why I get myself off the sofa.
What personal qualities are needed to be able to get to sub 10% body fat levels?
Patience, persistence, psychosocial effectiveness (I am attaching this definition to the word, psychosocial: unique internal processes that occur within the individual), and a thorough understanding and application of the body’s: “Functional Adaptability”. This is not withstanding the appropriate knowledge, and application of this knowledge, of diet and exercise.
Have an understanding what the body is “prone to do” through its design intention. Everything I do surrounds this base premise, above and includes: 1. Diet (Calorie and Macronutrient) Manipulation, 2. Exercise Manipulation, and 3. The 24 hour cycle clock, and the conscious ability to manipulate the elements within 1 and 2.
I believe one needs to get medically checked to make sure there are no medical conditions that can affect or prevent their weight loss (or other fitness plans, to combat unnecessary time in “wasting time”)
What would you say to a man in his 40’s who thinks he’s too old to get himself in shape now?
The base foundation: Accept and realize the things you can change and accept and realize the things you cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference between them.
I will be 47 on August 25th.
Don’t let this age number play a role in negative mental arena. Just educate yourself on the "Bare facts" and "Truth" that happens as we age, accept them, and then deal with them----->effectively. What I mean by this is accepting some biological internal and external changes that naturally occur as one ages, and then take this knowledge and apply it to DIET AND TRAINING.
We cannot do anything about the natural aging process, BUT WE CAN do something with a circumference of understanding of what happens when we age, working WITH IT, not against it, and optimizing what this has to offer.
Some important biological changes that occur are: 1. The metabolism naturally slows as we age (but this can be effectively dealt with), 2. The Skin tends to be less elastic and doesn’t bounce back--as quick (and this too can be effectively deal with--if not too serious), 3. Testosterone levels tend to drop slowly as we age (and this too can be dealt with, but still will not be as good as one in their prime).
Take the time to learn the requirements of muscle growth and fat loss. Learn all that you can, and then apply what is learned. Realize it is never too late, unless you are in a casket dead. I would then go on to give opinions according their personal goal situation.
Part 2
What was your biggest obstacle along the way?
The elapse of time necessary to lose weight, and the first attempt to reduce body fat below 10%. With getting body fat below 10% being the most physically demanding and psychologically challenging.
It was just a flat bastard. But my body hasn’t really seen a bastard. ME. I won.
Three months prior to joining the forum I battled trying to go under 10%, and just after joining the forum, I conquered the problem. If one wishes I will write on this within the ChillOut Log (after all this interview is getting 22 pages in MS Word, lol!)
Do you have any tips for avoiding temptation when on a diet?
One of the most difficult things to overcome in achieving a change of diet and lifestyle is: The food craving. When deficit dieting the food craving is going to come. Do not be surprised. This is normal, and its one you have no choice but to deal with.
In order to control or attempt to eliminate your cravings, you need to understand why you have them and get-over-it through proactive self-participation.
Knowledge and application of this knowledge when dealing with the self is power. Consistent application of this power, will give one a lethal dose to food cravings and provide strength and dexterity to one's goal path.
Why one can have cravings when deficit dieting:
1. The body is deficient in energy (calories) and has to look to itself for a source of energy (be it muscle and/or fat source). The body is literally feeding on itself to provide vitality in response to a energy shortage and is trying to meet the outside/inside demands placed upon it.
2. Sometimes unstable blood sugar levels can cause intense hunger cravings. The more stable the human blood sugar the more "stable" your hunger cravings will be. Sharp increases and declines in blood sugar levels can give one intense hunger pains that can be difficult to overcome.
The way you can combat this problem, is through understanding various food items and the big three macronutrients: Carbs, Protein, and Fats, and how they "can effect" one's blood sugar levels. And, knowing WHEN it’s appropriate to have an increase in blood sugar levels and when it’s not.
For example:
Post workout nutrition. One just got done with a rather demanding fitness workout, and placed a lot of demand on the body and its muscles. The muscles are depleted and broken down. There is a need of replacement nutrition, and it should be given rather quickly. It is a good time to consume fruits (simple carbs [sugars]), and protein, at this time. The "correct fruit" will elevate blood sugar rather quickly and since the body is in "present need" will shuttle the appropriate carbs where needed, and this isn't detrimental nor will add to one's hunger complications.
If anything, IMO, I believe it would "assist" against hunger cravings (later) because you are giving the body what it needs at the appropriate time and will not yell at you later or be an "assistor in lowering your energy levels" by continuing to be broken down through inadequate and timely nutrition.
Eating frequent meals with adequate and selective food items will be a major piece in your hunger puzzle. You determine your Maintenance Line of Calories, and divide the number of meals with your Maintenance Line of Calories to determine the approximate number of calories per meal.
Eating frequent meals is great in an ideal and perfect world. However, we all know we live in an imperfect world that can disrupt what we do, and eating frequently as planned is one of them. This can cause one to "improvise" and "adjust" on-the-fly, and "should be" expected and not lead one to surprise.
While eating frequent meals is recommended, if this can’t happen or is disrupted in some way, and you had to adjust, this ISNT going to make you hit the curb on your fat loss quest. The most important factor when the dust settles, is whether one IS or IS NOT in an energy deficit at the end of the day. In some cases, having eating patterns irregular can assist one in fat loss dependent on dieting logistics. Just try to eat as often as your lifestyle allows adjust your meals when you have to--with applying knowledge learned.
3. Lets add 1 and 2 together. If the body is deficient in energy levels and being forced to locate fuel from itself (deficit in calories)--and--the blood sugar levels are sharply increasing and declining (at times), "this is a most deadly combination to cause intense hunger cravings".
4. Even if you level blood sugar (through what you eat within your diet and calorie manipulations), one will still be left with the body being deficient in energy, and will be calling on you to eat; however, its the lesser of the two, IMO, and is the place one wants to be at most of the time when deficit dieting to lose fat tissue, as it is truly easier to deal with.
On-going and continued education in:
1.Information on various techniques to combat cravings.
Read, read, and read some more. Absorb it and apply it. When you read an article on certain techniques to handle food cravings, and it appears it may not fit within your life style, is their a way you can:
A. Modify, change, or manipulate the idea or concept in some fashion to work with your personality and within your current lifestyle?
KEEP YOUR PERCEPTION UNTAINTED.
B. Manipulate Lite fitness training to your goal advantage?
Sometimes just keeping the mind occupied on something else for a small duration of time can be enough to combat the current food craving and reduce it to tolerable levels; however, this can require a certain amount of self discipline (along with manipulating your foods to your advantage) in order to be successful.
You could jump on a bike for very Lite cardio session (a few minutes), and consume a no-calorie or very low calorie beverage to fill the stomach and get the blood pumped. Take a walk. Play a video game you like, and on and on with the potential possibilities.
Look within your environment and see things others can’t see--that will assist you toward your goal path.
Develop clear strategies to deal with weaknesses. Allow your strengths to improve your weaknesses. And, you can use FOOD to assist your weakness by using your strength of being proactive.
Some proactive anti-food craving tactics:
When you view these brief guidelines, I would like you to keep an open mind and think about ways you can manipulate these guidelines to fit within the circumference of your personal life style. In other words, you can take some or all of the guidelines and modify/change them to a degree that is more applicable or suitable to your individual environment.
A. Change your frame of mind when going to the grocery store:
1. Hunger Defense Perception One:
Look for food items that are bulky (that will fill a large portion of the stomach capacity) and carry the nutritional quality that fits within the macronutrient value you seek (all macronutrients), that fit within your life style for:
A. Home.
B. Work.
C. School.
Educate yourself on various types of foods that take long periods (or a longer period, if you will) to digest than others that fits in the health and nutrition scope you personally seek. Investigate the "reasons" why this is case, though investigating the nutrients in these types of food. For example, "fiber rich" foods can take longer to digest and give a sense of being full.
(If you want I can provide a list of suggestions)
2. Hunger Defense Perception Two:
Specific shelf and refrigerator items specifically purchased to assist one's self during the times when food cravings are a problem. These are bulking items that are low in calorie content BUT carry a nutritional punch in accordance to its caloric value.
1. When hunger is a problem its important to know where you are at in your diet in the calorie equation, in order to "effectively" use one of your proactive and goal-keeping food purchases for:
A. Home.
B. Work.
C. School
(If you want I can provide a list of suggestions)
The mind game is critical to ones success:
The best doctors in the world are "Personal Doctors": (written by Chillen)
Doctor Diet: The quite-riot to the diet;
Doctor Trainer: The no-brainer and the painter of the muscle-gainer;
Doctor Fat: Goes at-bat to combat fat to make the stomach flat;
Doctor Calorie: The internal art-gallery to attend the external shooting-gallery;
Doctor Inspiration: Sets the foundation sensation to end frustration;
Doctor Motivation: Creation plantation to end temptation and bring mental vibration;
Doctor Mind: Designed and combined not to be confined to get behind and maligned to the self-kind.
Doctor Willpower: Devour the control-tower and empower the super-power.
(Chillen)
"What you do with diet and exercise is up to you, in the context you give to time,--as time will pay you no mind. But, given time with your context in mind, your mind will give time to your mind."
(Chillen)
A solid steel ship with a great foundation, steers itself into the wind. The waves rise, and toss the ship to and fro. The captain stays persistent because he/she has been trained in how to handle troubled water when the ocean gets upset and the winds are fierce. The ship didn't sink because of this training implementation, and there is a look of joy and happiness when the storm calms. A sense of accomplishment and relief.
(Chillen)
When you arm yourself in the circumference of knowledge applicable to your goal, and partake in goal driven "perception of this knowledge" beyond just the basics, one can implement and apply this different perception to resolve problems that develop and create some freedom of the self at the same time.
(Chillen)
With this in mind, one can even plan "eating over maintenance" or (deal with unplanned eating over maintenance" when deficit dieting and reduce guilt and the associated emotions that come with it).
For example, it can come down to 5 things: 1. Knowing your MT Line, 2. Viewing days for calories within a 24 hour cycle clock (knowing your prior history of deficits and current tabulation), 3. Knowing the approximate calories in deficit to lose an approximate pound of fat tissue, 4. Approximate calories burned during different types of exercise, and 5. Knowing how to manipulate calories (and even timely manipulation of the three nutrients, carbs, protein, and fats)
Manipulation of these 5 items can open up the mind! Look at them differently: Use them they are always there waiting.
These 5 things can be used as tools to assist one when one is thinking they may have messed up.
(Chillen)
What does your training look like? You rarely give details of your training and I’m sure many people will be interested to see.
I do a upper/lower body split-routine. To save space here, I will post it to the ChillOut log in detail. I don’t stay with the same routine more than 6 weeks.(approximately) Therefore, when I do post the routine (in a few days), one has to take this into consideration. In addition, I keep the following journals: A Diet Journal, A Weight Training Journal, and a Mental Journal, daily. Actually, I have written about my training off and on with several posts, but they sort of get lost with my other posting methods (LOL).
I train at home with the following simple and basic equipment:
1. I have about 450lbs (approx) of Olympic style cast iron weights (Gold's Gym, brand)
2. Olympic stainless steel long bar (45lbs type), a short "S" bar, a "tri" bar, two stainless steel, DB's
3. Olympic style Bench which declines and inclines, and has a squat rack. It also has a preacher pad, and a front leg extension device. I have never used the front leg extension device, come to think of it. I also just recently made my own lat pull down bar.
4. A mobile flat bench which inclines and declines
5. A upright recumbent bike with a back rest. It has a gauge for inputting one's age, wgt, etc. It will display heart rate, calories burned, and time in exercise.
6. A self made dip station. My friend and I welded this together "several" months back, and it looks like a traditional dip station one would see in a catalog or online.
7. What's interesting here is that for many months I used a "car cloths rack" for my dips (we have to be inventive in our requests....HEHEHE
). I have been wanting to put dips in my workout for some time, but flat didn’t have the equipment or money--at the time. One day I got out of my car, and the "car cloths rack' caught my eye. I took it out and looked at it. Since it telescoped out, I was hoping it would come apart into two separate sections. It did. It was made of steel, and the only question was: Would it support my weight and the stress of sets/reps. I had 4 rather high jack stands in the garage. I gather you can figure out what I did-------"worked perfectly"!
8. A Golds gym weight stacker (next to my stationary bike)
9. A Swiss Ball
10. Several Stretch bands, at varying strengths
11. Telescoping and twisting Push-up bars
What was your biggest obstacle along the way?
The elapse of time necessary to lose weight, and the first attempt to reduce body fat below 10%. With getting body fat below 10% being the most physically demanding and psychologically challenging.
It was just a flat bastard. But my body hasn’t really seen a bastard. ME. I won.
Three months prior to joining the forum I battled trying to go under 10%, and just after joining the forum, I conquered the problem. If one wishes I will write on this within the ChillOut Log (after all this interview is getting 22 pages in MS Word, lol!)
Do you have any tips for avoiding temptation when on a diet?
One of the most difficult things to overcome in achieving a change of diet and lifestyle is: The food craving. When deficit dieting the food craving is going to come. Do not be surprised. This is normal, and its one you have no choice but to deal with.
In order to control or attempt to eliminate your cravings, you need to understand why you have them and get-over-it through proactive self-participation.
Knowledge and application of this knowledge when dealing with the self is power. Consistent application of this power, will give one a lethal dose to food cravings and provide strength and dexterity to one's goal path.
Why one can have cravings when deficit dieting:
1. The body is deficient in energy (calories) and has to look to itself for a source of energy (be it muscle and/or fat source). The body is literally feeding on itself to provide vitality in response to a energy shortage and is trying to meet the outside/inside demands placed upon it.
2. Sometimes unstable blood sugar levels can cause intense hunger cravings. The more stable the human blood sugar the more "stable" your hunger cravings will be. Sharp increases and declines in blood sugar levels can give one intense hunger pains that can be difficult to overcome.
The way you can combat this problem, is through understanding various food items and the big three macronutrients: Carbs, Protein, and Fats, and how they "can effect" one's blood sugar levels. And, knowing WHEN it’s appropriate to have an increase in blood sugar levels and when it’s not.
For example:
Post workout nutrition. One just got done with a rather demanding fitness workout, and placed a lot of demand on the body and its muscles. The muscles are depleted and broken down. There is a need of replacement nutrition, and it should be given rather quickly. It is a good time to consume fruits (simple carbs [sugars]), and protein, at this time. The "correct fruit" will elevate blood sugar rather quickly and since the body is in "present need" will shuttle the appropriate carbs where needed, and this isn't detrimental nor will add to one's hunger complications.
If anything, IMO, I believe it would "assist" against hunger cravings (later) because you are giving the body what it needs at the appropriate time and will not yell at you later or be an "assistor in lowering your energy levels" by continuing to be broken down through inadequate and timely nutrition.
Eating frequent meals with adequate and selective food items will be a major piece in your hunger puzzle. You determine your Maintenance Line of Calories, and divide the number of meals with your Maintenance Line of Calories to determine the approximate number of calories per meal.
Eating frequent meals is great in an ideal and perfect world. However, we all know we live in an imperfect world that can disrupt what we do, and eating frequently as planned is one of them. This can cause one to "improvise" and "adjust" on-the-fly, and "should be" expected and not lead one to surprise.
While eating frequent meals is recommended, if this can’t happen or is disrupted in some way, and you had to adjust, this ISNT going to make you hit the curb on your fat loss quest. The most important factor when the dust settles, is whether one IS or IS NOT in an energy deficit at the end of the day. In some cases, having eating patterns irregular can assist one in fat loss dependent on dieting logistics. Just try to eat as often as your lifestyle allows adjust your meals when you have to--with applying knowledge learned.
3. Lets add 1 and 2 together. If the body is deficient in energy levels and being forced to locate fuel from itself (deficit in calories)--and--the blood sugar levels are sharply increasing and declining (at times), "this is a most deadly combination to cause intense hunger cravings".
4. Even if you level blood sugar (through what you eat within your diet and calorie manipulations), one will still be left with the body being deficient in energy, and will be calling on you to eat; however, its the lesser of the two, IMO, and is the place one wants to be at most of the time when deficit dieting to lose fat tissue, as it is truly easier to deal with.
On-going and continued education in:
1.Information on various techniques to combat cravings.
Read, read, and read some more. Absorb it and apply it. When you read an article on certain techniques to handle food cravings, and it appears it may not fit within your life style, is their a way you can:
A. Modify, change, or manipulate the idea or concept in some fashion to work with your personality and within your current lifestyle?
KEEP YOUR PERCEPTION UNTAINTED.
B. Manipulate Lite fitness training to your goal advantage?
Sometimes just keeping the mind occupied on something else for a small duration of time can be enough to combat the current food craving and reduce it to tolerable levels; however, this can require a certain amount of self discipline (along with manipulating your foods to your advantage) in order to be successful.
You could jump on a bike for very Lite cardio session (a few minutes), and consume a no-calorie or very low calorie beverage to fill the stomach and get the blood pumped. Take a walk. Play a video game you like, and on and on with the potential possibilities.
Look within your environment and see things others can’t see--that will assist you toward your goal path.
Develop clear strategies to deal with weaknesses. Allow your strengths to improve your weaknesses. And, you can use FOOD to assist your weakness by using your strength of being proactive.
Some proactive anti-food craving tactics:
When you view these brief guidelines, I would like you to keep an open mind and think about ways you can manipulate these guidelines to fit within the circumference of your personal life style. In other words, you can take some or all of the guidelines and modify/change them to a degree that is more applicable or suitable to your individual environment.
A. Change your frame of mind when going to the grocery store:
1. Hunger Defense Perception One:
Look for food items that are bulky (that will fill a large portion of the stomach capacity) and carry the nutritional quality that fits within the macronutrient value you seek (all macronutrients), that fit within your life style for:
A. Home.
B. Work.
C. School.
Educate yourself on various types of foods that take long periods (or a longer period, if you will) to digest than others that fits in the health and nutrition scope you personally seek. Investigate the "reasons" why this is case, though investigating the nutrients in these types of food. For example, "fiber rich" foods can take longer to digest and give a sense of being full.
(If you want I can provide a list of suggestions)
2. Hunger Defense Perception Two:
Specific shelf and refrigerator items specifically purchased to assist one's self during the times when food cravings are a problem. These are bulking items that are low in calorie content BUT carry a nutritional punch in accordance to its caloric value.
1. When hunger is a problem its important to know where you are at in your diet in the calorie equation, in order to "effectively" use one of your proactive and goal-keeping food purchases for:
A. Home.
B. Work.
C. School
(If you want I can provide a list of suggestions)
The mind game is critical to ones success:
The best doctors in the world are "Personal Doctors": (written by Chillen)
Doctor Diet: The quite-riot to the diet;
Doctor Trainer: The no-brainer and the painter of the muscle-gainer;
Doctor Fat: Goes at-bat to combat fat to make the stomach flat;
Doctor Calorie: The internal art-gallery to attend the external shooting-gallery;
Doctor Inspiration: Sets the foundation sensation to end frustration;
Doctor Motivation: Creation plantation to end temptation and bring mental vibration;
Doctor Mind: Designed and combined not to be confined to get behind and maligned to the self-kind.
Doctor Willpower: Devour the control-tower and empower the super-power.
(Chillen)
"What you do with diet and exercise is up to you, in the context you give to time,--as time will pay you no mind. But, given time with your context in mind, your mind will give time to your mind."
(Chillen)
A solid steel ship with a great foundation, steers itself into the wind. The waves rise, and toss the ship to and fro. The captain stays persistent because he/she has been trained in how to handle troubled water when the ocean gets upset and the winds are fierce. The ship didn't sink because of this training implementation, and there is a look of joy and happiness when the storm calms. A sense of accomplishment and relief.
(Chillen)
When you arm yourself in the circumference of knowledge applicable to your goal, and partake in goal driven "perception of this knowledge" beyond just the basics, one can implement and apply this different perception to resolve problems that develop and create some freedom of the self at the same time.
(Chillen)
With this in mind, one can even plan "eating over maintenance" or (deal with unplanned eating over maintenance" when deficit dieting and reduce guilt and the associated emotions that come with it).
For example, it can come down to 5 things: 1. Knowing your MT Line, 2. Viewing days for calories within a 24 hour cycle clock (knowing your prior history of deficits and current tabulation), 3. Knowing the approximate calories in deficit to lose an approximate pound of fat tissue, 4. Approximate calories burned during different types of exercise, and 5. Knowing how to manipulate calories (and even timely manipulation of the three nutrients, carbs, protein, and fats)
Manipulation of these 5 items can open up the mind! Look at them differently: Use them they are always there waiting.
These 5 things can be used as tools to assist one when one is thinking they may have messed up.
(Chillen)
What does your training look like? You rarely give details of your training and I’m sure many people will be interested to see.
I do a upper/lower body split-routine. To save space here, I will post it to the ChillOut log in detail. I don’t stay with the same routine more than 6 weeks.(approximately) Therefore, when I do post the routine (in a few days), one has to take this into consideration. In addition, I keep the following journals: A Diet Journal, A Weight Training Journal, and a Mental Journal, daily. Actually, I have written about my training off and on with several posts, but they sort of get lost with my other posting methods (LOL).
I train at home with the following simple and basic equipment:
1. I have about 450lbs (approx) of Olympic style cast iron weights (Gold's Gym, brand)
2. Olympic stainless steel long bar (45lbs type), a short "S" bar, a "tri" bar, two stainless steel, DB's
3. Olympic style Bench which declines and inclines, and has a squat rack. It also has a preacher pad, and a front leg extension device. I have never used the front leg extension device, come to think of it. I also just recently made my own lat pull down bar.
4. A mobile flat bench which inclines and declines
5. A upright recumbent bike with a back rest. It has a gauge for inputting one's age, wgt, etc. It will display heart rate, calories burned, and time in exercise.
6. A self made dip station. My friend and I welded this together "several" months back, and it looks like a traditional dip station one would see in a catalog or online.
7. What's interesting here is that for many months I used a "car cloths rack" for my dips (we have to be inventive in our requests....HEHEHE
). I have been wanting to put dips in my workout for some time, but flat didn’t have the equipment or money--at the time. One day I got out of my car, and the "car cloths rack' caught my eye. I took it out and looked at it. Since it telescoped out, I was hoping it would come apart into two separate sections. It did. It was made of steel, and the only question was: Would it support my weight and the stress of sets/reps. I had 4 rather high jack stands in the garage. I gather you can figure out what I did-------"worked perfectly"!8. A Golds gym weight stacker (next to my stationary bike)
9. A Swiss Ball
10. Several Stretch bands, at varying strengths
11. Telescoping and twisting Push-up bars
Part 3
What is the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done?
The most rewarding thing in my life has been marrying my wife and spending the last 25 years with her. Nothing replaces the growth of this relationship.
There was a point in time, I had my doubts, however. My wife can be as strong minded (if not stronger in some cases) than me sometimes. I remember about 25 years ago, when we just got married we went out with some friends of ours to a birthday party, and we both got just a tad drunk. At some point in the party, a few friends of mine and I decided that we were going to go to the park (it was 2AM) and throw the Frisbee around and act foolish. My wife said I wasn’t going. I said I was. This no you’re not, yes I am, sort of communication went on for a while, with me just walking out ignoring her. BIG MISTAKE. My friends and I were walking in the parking lot (it was an apartment complex), when we heard someone revving the engine of a truck nearby. We looked, and it was my wife. She then peeled out, and came directly at us. My faithful friends scattered quick. I stood there for a moment or two, and said, “Nah, she wouldn’t”. I was wrong, and just managed to step out of the way, just before she would of ran my butt over. She then turned around, and came at me again! She drove the truck up into the yard behind me, as I ran like a chicken **** back in the apartment, and stated, “Man, that bitch is crazy!” I ended up going anyway, by the way.
A couple of years later, we quit drinking alcohol completely, and to this day we don’t drink (just a personal choice we made together), as we had children and began to raise them.
What was the most frightening experience you ever had as a Policeman?
I have had several moments in my 10 year career I could select and write about; however, I am going to select the situation that ended my career. Before I begin this shortened story, I want to say something about fear. Fear can be a friend or foe to a person dependent on several factors. EVERYONE experiences some form of fear in one way or the other. In Law enforcement, the person has to have the distinct capability to think clearly and concisely while under different types of stress and dangerous situations. Within this spectrum of capabilities, one element is “controlled fear”. This can be your friend. It can make you correctly apprehensive, defensive, and offensive. It can prevent tombstone courage.
On July 27th, 1999, I was on patrol in the county I was employed by as Deputy Sheriff. At about 1:00AM in the morning, I received a call for service that a fight (10-95) had started at a local bar. This bar has a extensive history of combative violence and the people that frequent this unnamed bar also tend to have a severe attitude toward police. While I was in route to the location, I received information that one of the participants in the fight had a severe head injury by a broken beer bottle. An ambulance was dispatched. I contacted the other unit that was on duty at the time, and he was in route but would be about 15 to 20 minutes before arriving. I was only about 4 to 6 minutes from the bar.
When I arrived, some of the patrons of the bar were throwing beer bottles at the patrol unit, and yelling at me to hurry as someone was hurt real badly. I remember sitting a few seconds after advising dispatch I had arrived, and dispatch telling me the other unit was still about 12 minutes away, and taking a deep breath and exhaling. Then I stepped out of the patrol unit. I began walking up to the front entrance with people spitting at me, and throwing beer on me—while telling me to hurry to the aide of the person hurt. As I walked in, there was one person lying on the floor to my left with a gash to the forehead, bleeding very badly and need of medical assistance (I advised dispatch). As I continued walking toward the person, the other persons in the bar began yelling that another fight was about to start, I looked over and say two persons standing at the bar pushing, shoving, and yelling obscenities, to one another. One of them then hit the other with a closed fist to the face. I then ran over in the attempt to diffuse the situation, and got in between the two men. Mind you both of these men were extremely large (about 6-1 230). During this time I was keeping an eye on the other persons in the bar (after all they weren’t that friendly, lol), while maintaining a command presence with the two fighting. The two stopped yelling and trying to push each other; however, I failed to see the left arm of the person on my left and the person swung and hit me with the fat end of a pool cue to the mouth, and this knocked me back onto one of the floor tables flat on my back, and I slid off on to the floor, and I was knocked out for a few seconds. I woke up, remembering seeing all the blood and many portions of my teeth on my shirt, and gagging on my own blood and teeth at the same time. I spit out my teeth and blood, got up, and went to the person who had hit me (and the most violent in the bar at the time) with my PR-24 in my hand, and hit him on the collar bone (I later learned I broke it), spun him around, and brought the larger man to the floor. We fought an additional 2 to 3 minutes, where I managed to put the hand cuffs on, and personally bring him out to the patrol car on my own. I then went and administered first aid to the person injured on the floor, and managed to stop his bleeding; though I was still bleeding personally. Though the other persons in the bar had seen what happened, none of them tried to lend a helping hand (to myself or the other person injured). Rather they kept throwing beer liquids at me, spitting, and yelling “pig”, and other rather funny statements. The ambulance arrived, and then a few minutes later my back up then arrived………
This is the short version of the story. I was on medical leave for about 12 weeks, and had upper dentures replacing my teeth. The person who had hit me with the pool cure received 8 years in prison after trial. I received the Medal of Valor. I never mentioned that I received this medal. This is just who I am. Would I do this again? Yes. This situation had brought on many questions, and none of you could ask one that I hadn’t been already asked. I find it funny sometimes when people question why I had went into the bar being alone. I usually come back with another question: What would the opinion in general be if a police officer didn’t respond in this situation?
This is the situation that ended my career, because my wife didn’t want a dead husband. Believe me when I tell you her fight is much tougher than the dude in the bar. At her request, and the love for my wife and marriage, I gave up the very career I love. One could never understand why one would love a career in law enforcement unless the love in the blood is there to begin with. It takes a special person (I mean one that tries to perform the duty with dignity and within the law) to be one, IMO.
Has there been any individual in your life that has been an inspiration to you?
I actually have two persons that inspire me both indirectly and directly. First I select my mother, see question 15 and attempt to “understand why” I would select this person. Her negativity breathed life and fire to positivity through correct mental perception. Feel the THUNDER of correct perception. Second, I select my wife, Kathy. My wife would fall under Question 1:
"When the night comes, I will pick up the pieces."
This statement is imbedded in my heart every day. The reason I began my quest for health and fitness is a long story, but it begins with a warning from my body and ends with the love for my wife.
About 5 years ago, my wife was diagnosed with Lupus, and also has a bone condition called: Fiber Dysplasia of the front left facial bone (has had this all her life), she can carry an extra 15 pounds of water in her legs, get skin rashes, swelling of various tissues, bone pain, muscle aches and pains, severe migraines, severe sweating, to name only a few.
She has had several operations on her face where they literally shaved her front cheek bone and sinus area that continually gets blocked from the bone growth. She had one about 6 months ago, and this one was rather serious and needed to be done or she faced certain death due to the placement of the bone growth. (brief synopsis)
She never complains, and is not ashamed of herself, always puts herself last and her family first. She is always persistent: She is my idol.
Doctors say she won’t live past the age of 60. I say she will because of her heart. Whatever happens, when the night comes, I will pick up the pieces.
If you ever wondered what drives me, it’s my wife. I keep myself physically conditioned to be able one day to: cloth her, bath her, feed her, and put her to bed. I love her: She is my idol. When the night comes, I will pick up the pieces.
I must be prepared so I must keep my aging body fit for the task and not let her down or myself down.
What she lacks in beauty she makes up with her heart and soul: I love her.
I have cried and I have bled in the gym. I know the journey.
However, there is nothing I can’t bare when I look at her, that she hasn’t felt.
She is the one that boils in my heart of desire. I would do anything for her.
This one of the reasons I am who I am and act the way I do. I know I can make her life as happy with her medical condition, and want to set out to do similar things for other people. I know it can be done because I see it every day.
I hope this makes sense. And, I hope one can understand me more for what it’s worth.
Sometimes, I get criticized for my posting methods, this is to be expected; however, never doubt my sincere intentions.
I see everyday what having a determined heart and soul can do to a person.
With all of her medical problems, the fire burns within. She leaves no doubt that we have it in all of us to spark the fire and overcome anything in our path of life. So I Chill mentally in this respect, thus my screen name.
She is an inspiring person to live with.
What do you enjoy most about visits to the forum and are there any things you would change?
Improvement in the depth of assistance given to new members, would be at least one improvement I would like to see. I would like to see Mreik, Tony, LV, and JP fitness, open up with their posts more than they do. This would be a great benefit considering their knowledge.
I enjoy the first few posts by the newest forum members the most. I believe most (not all fall in the same category of course), are not scientifically minded (or they would be aspiring to be scientists), and “basic and advanced truth” on diet and fitness is what gets them started on their goal path. I firmly believe that personal construction of diet and fitness fundamental basics are the super glue of being successful within more advanced methods.
I know you read the journals a lot, which is the journal you normally go to first?
I don’t have a specific journal I go to first, but I do check on ones that have been posted to (recently or today), and ones that haven’t been posted to for some time period. However, I do in fact read ALL journals that are on-going at the present time I log in. I genuinely care about all forum members whether it is deemed they like me or not, as this is irrelevant in my opinion.
I do enjoy it when Tony posts articles in his log from time to time. STEP THIS UP! I enjoy practically anything that has an educational theme to it, in the attempt to learn something.
I know that there may be some that have problems with this, but I do it with the best of intentions. If I check to see who is online, and I see a member that I remember has a journal, but hasn’t posted to it for quite a while (say many weeks), and this person is online (and sometimes viewing their own journal), I will make a quick post to their journal. I don’t truly know why they haven’t posted to their journal; the reasons are too vast to narrow down in most cases; however, if there is a remote possibility that they will post to their journal, and outline their current problems or reasons (if they wish) for not posting to their journal, and I or another member can assist them, then I will do it. The purpose is to begin a dialogue of friendship, and if they are burdened in some fashion, help them. And, if they have lapsed in diet and fitness, help them through it. There is no other motive. I have been called out on this method a time or two, but it isn’t going to deter me one bit. Save yourself from exercising the fingers, it’s a waste of time.
If you had to get trapped in an elevator overnight with a member from the forum, who would you rather it was?
Sara, lets ROCK. Just kidding.
I think I would choose FlyinFree. I believe this would be a rather interesting experience in small closed space after several hours. Mentally, I probably will never me the same again, LOL. In a battlefield, if the chips were down, he would be the FIRST person I call on. It’s not his desire for training or physical fitness. It’s his heart, passion, and will. It’s the eye of the tiger, and whether he chooses to believe this or not, we share a lot in common. It’s just that my goals are different than his, and this doesn’t make either of them wrong or quality any less. Just because someone is physically strong, doesn’t mean they can handle it when diverse crap hits the fan in the varying degrees it tends to reveal itself. To me it’s not only about, diet, fitness, and health, but the entire personal package construction. I have seen the large and physically strong go down and stand up, and I have seen the small and physically strong go down and stand up, and analyzing the differences on why intrigues me.
Some type of construction inside certain people can make them do things they think they couldn’t achieve. Take a look at true heroes of military combat, within life, and other circumstances, and open up perception, and one can see it has a lot to do with what’s on the inside more so than the physical factors on the outside. I want this person with me for the ride. I want a real person tough on in the inside as well as the outside, because being strong on the outside, doesn’t equate to strength, IMO.
What is the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done?
The most rewarding thing in my life has been marrying my wife and spending the last 25 years with her. Nothing replaces the growth of this relationship.
There was a point in time, I had my doubts, however. My wife can be as strong minded (if not stronger in some cases) than me sometimes. I remember about 25 years ago, when we just got married we went out with some friends of ours to a birthday party, and we both got just a tad drunk. At some point in the party, a few friends of mine and I decided that we were going to go to the park (it was 2AM) and throw the Frisbee around and act foolish. My wife said I wasn’t going. I said I was. This no you’re not, yes I am, sort of communication went on for a while, with me just walking out ignoring her. BIG MISTAKE. My friends and I were walking in the parking lot (it was an apartment complex), when we heard someone revving the engine of a truck nearby. We looked, and it was my wife. She then peeled out, and came directly at us. My faithful friends scattered quick. I stood there for a moment or two, and said, “Nah, she wouldn’t”. I was wrong, and just managed to step out of the way, just before she would of ran my butt over. She then turned around, and came at me again! She drove the truck up into the yard behind me, as I ran like a chicken **** back in the apartment, and stated, “Man, that bitch is crazy!” I ended up going anyway, by the way.
A couple of years later, we quit drinking alcohol completely, and to this day we don’t drink (just a personal choice we made together), as we had children and began to raise them.
What was the most frightening experience you ever had as a Policeman?
I have had several moments in my 10 year career I could select and write about; however, I am going to select the situation that ended my career. Before I begin this shortened story, I want to say something about fear. Fear can be a friend or foe to a person dependent on several factors. EVERYONE experiences some form of fear in one way or the other. In Law enforcement, the person has to have the distinct capability to think clearly and concisely while under different types of stress and dangerous situations. Within this spectrum of capabilities, one element is “controlled fear”. This can be your friend. It can make you correctly apprehensive, defensive, and offensive. It can prevent tombstone courage.
On July 27th, 1999, I was on patrol in the county I was employed by as Deputy Sheriff. At about 1:00AM in the morning, I received a call for service that a fight (10-95) had started at a local bar. This bar has a extensive history of combative violence and the people that frequent this unnamed bar also tend to have a severe attitude toward police. While I was in route to the location, I received information that one of the participants in the fight had a severe head injury by a broken beer bottle. An ambulance was dispatched. I contacted the other unit that was on duty at the time, and he was in route but would be about 15 to 20 minutes before arriving. I was only about 4 to 6 minutes from the bar.
When I arrived, some of the patrons of the bar were throwing beer bottles at the patrol unit, and yelling at me to hurry as someone was hurt real badly. I remember sitting a few seconds after advising dispatch I had arrived, and dispatch telling me the other unit was still about 12 minutes away, and taking a deep breath and exhaling. Then I stepped out of the patrol unit. I began walking up to the front entrance with people spitting at me, and throwing beer on me—while telling me to hurry to the aide of the person hurt. As I walked in, there was one person lying on the floor to my left with a gash to the forehead, bleeding very badly and need of medical assistance (I advised dispatch). As I continued walking toward the person, the other persons in the bar began yelling that another fight was about to start, I looked over and say two persons standing at the bar pushing, shoving, and yelling obscenities, to one another. One of them then hit the other with a closed fist to the face. I then ran over in the attempt to diffuse the situation, and got in between the two men. Mind you both of these men were extremely large (about 6-1 230). During this time I was keeping an eye on the other persons in the bar (after all they weren’t that friendly, lol), while maintaining a command presence with the two fighting. The two stopped yelling and trying to push each other; however, I failed to see the left arm of the person on my left and the person swung and hit me with the fat end of a pool cue to the mouth, and this knocked me back onto one of the floor tables flat on my back, and I slid off on to the floor, and I was knocked out for a few seconds. I woke up, remembering seeing all the blood and many portions of my teeth on my shirt, and gagging on my own blood and teeth at the same time. I spit out my teeth and blood, got up, and went to the person who had hit me (and the most violent in the bar at the time) with my PR-24 in my hand, and hit him on the collar bone (I later learned I broke it), spun him around, and brought the larger man to the floor. We fought an additional 2 to 3 minutes, where I managed to put the hand cuffs on, and personally bring him out to the patrol car on my own. I then went and administered first aid to the person injured on the floor, and managed to stop his bleeding; though I was still bleeding personally. Though the other persons in the bar had seen what happened, none of them tried to lend a helping hand (to myself or the other person injured). Rather they kept throwing beer liquids at me, spitting, and yelling “pig”, and other rather funny statements. The ambulance arrived, and then a few minutes later my back up then arrived………
This is the short version of the story. I was on medical leave for about 12 weeks, and had upper dentures replacing my teeth. The person who had hit me with the pool cure received 8 years in prison after trial. I received the Medal of Valor. I never mentioned that I received this medal. This is just who I am. Would I do this again? Yes. This situation had brought on many questions, and none of you could ask one that I hadn’t been already asked. I find it funny sometimes when people question why I had went into the bar being alone. I usually come back with another question: What would the opinion in general be if a police officer didn’t respond in this situation?
This is the situation that ended my career, because my wife didn’t want a dead husband. Believe me when I tell you her fight is much tougher than the dude in the bar. At her request, and the love for my wife and marriage, I gave up the very career I love. One could never understand why one would love a career in law enforcement unless the love in the blood is there to begin with. It takes a special person (I mean one that tries to perform the duty with dignity and within the law) to be one, IMO.
Has there been any individual in your life that has been an inspiration to you?
I actually have two persons that inspire me both indirectly and directly. First I select my mother, see question 15 and attempt to “understand why” I would select this person. Her negativity breathed life and fire to positivity through correct mental perception. Feel the THUNDER of correct perception. Second, I select my wife, Kathy. My wife would fall under Question 1:
"When the night comes, I will pick up the pieces."
This statement is imbedded in my heart every day. The reason I began my quest for health and fitness is a long story, but it begins with a warning from my body and ends with the love for my wife.
About 5 years ago, my wife was diagnosed with Lupus, and also has a bone condition called: Fiber Dysplasia of the front left facial bone (has had this all her life), she can carry an extra 15 pounds of water in her legs, get skin rashes, swelling of various tissues, bone pain, muscle aches and pains, severe migraines, severe sweating, to name only a few.
She has had several operations on her face where they literally shaved her front cheek bone and sinus area that continually gets blocked from the bone growth. She had one about 6 months ago, and this one was rather serious and needed to be done or she faced certain death due to the placement of the bone growth. (brief synopsis)
She never complains, and is not ashamed of herself, always puts herself last and her family first. She is always persistent: She is my idol.
Doctors say she won’t live past the age of 60. I say she will because of her heart. Whatever happens, when the night comes, I will pick up the pieces.
If you ever wondered what drives me, it’s my wife. I keep myself physically conditioned to be able one day to: cloth her, bath her, feed her, and put her to bed. I love her: She is my idol. When the night comes, I will pick up the pieces.
I must be prepared so I must keep my aging body fit for the task and not let her down or myself down.
What she lacks in beauty she makes up with her heart and soul: I love her.
I have cried and I have bled in the gym. I know the journey.
However, there is nothing I can’t bare when I look at her, that she hasn’t felt.
She is the one that boils in my heart of desire. I would do anything for her.
This one of the reasons I am who I am and act the way I do. I know I can make her life as happy with her medical condition, and want to set out to do similar things for other people. I know it can be done because I see it every day.
I hope this makes sense. And, I hope one can understand me more for what it’s worth.
Sometimes, I get criticized for my posting methods, this is to be expected; however, never doubt my sincere intentions.
I see everyday what having a determined heart and soul can do to a person.
With all of her medical problems, the fire burns within. She leaves no doubt that we have it in all of us to spark the fire and overcome anything in our path of life. So I Chill mentally in this respect, thus my screen name.
She is an inspiring person to live with.
What do you enjoy most about visits to the forum and are there any things you would change?
Improvement in the depth of assistance given to new members, would be at least one improvement I would like to see. I would like to see Mreik, Tony, LV, and JP fitness, open up with their posts more than they do. This would be a great benefit considering their knowledge.
I enjoy the first few posts by the newest forum members the most. I believe most (not all fall in the same category of course), are not scientifically minded (or they would be aspiring to be scientists), and “basic and advanced truth” on diet and fitness is what gets them started on their goal path. I firmly believe that personal construction of diet and fitness fundamental basics are the super glue of being successful within more advanced methods.
I know you read the journals a lot, which is the journal you normally go to first?
I don’t have a specific journal I go to first, but I do check on ones that have been posted to (recently or today), and ones that haven’t been posted to for some time period. However, I do in fact read ALL journals that are on-going at the present time I log in. I genuinely care about all forum members whether it is deemed they like me or not, as this is irrelevant in my opinion.
I do enjoy it when Tony posts articles in his log from time to time. STEP THIS UP! I enjoy practically anything that has an educational theme to it, in the attempt to learn something.
I know that there may be some that have problems with this, but I do it with the best of intentions. If I check to see who is online, and I see a member that I remember has a journal, but hasn’t posted to it for quite a while (say many weeks), and this person is online (and sometimes viewing their own journal), I will make a quick post to their journal. I don’t truly know why they haven’t posted to their journal; the reasons are too vast to narrow down in most cases; however, if there is a remote possibility that they will post to their journal, and outline their current problems or reasons (if they wish) for not posting to their journal, and I or another member can assist them, then I will do it. The purpose is to begin a dialogue of friendship, and if they are burdened in some fashion, help them. And, if they have lapsed in diet and fitness, help them through it. There is no other motive. I have been called out on this method a time or two, but it isn’t going to deter me one bit. Save yourself from exercising the fingers, it’s a waste of time.
If you had to get trapped in an elevator overnight with a member from the forum, who would you rather it was?
Sara, lets ROCK. Just kidding.
I think I would choose FlyinFree. I believe this would be a rather interesting experience in small closed space after several hours. Mentally, I probably will never me the same again, LOL. In a battlefield, if the chips were down, he would be the FIRST person I call on. It’s not his desire for training or physical fitness. It’s his heart, passion, and will. It’s the eye of the tiger, and whether he chooses to believe this or not, we share a lot in common. It’s just that my goals are different than his, and this doesn’t make either of them wrong or quality any less. Just because someone is physically strong, doesn’t mean they can handle it when diverse crap hits the fan in the varying degrees it tends to reveal itself. To me it’s not only about, diet, fitness, and health, but the entire personal package construction. I have seen the large and physically strong go down and stand up, and I have seen the small and physically strong go down and stand up, and analyzing the differences on why intrigues me.
Some type of construction inside certain people can make them do things they think they couldn’t achieve. Take a look at true heroes of military combat, within life, and other circumstances, and open up perception, and one can see it has a lot to do with what’s on the inside more so than the physical factors on the outside. I want this person with me for the ride. I want a real person tough on in the inside as well as the outside, because being strong on the outside, doesn’t equate to strength, IMO.
Part 4
What’s the biggest mistake you ever made in your life?
Not being able as a teenager, to step out of my immoral upbringing and take a look inside myself to reveal and then deal with the stained glass within that was constructed by my mother.
In order to have one somewhat understand the circumstances, I need to first “briefly” explain my childhood leading up to that point in time.
“My Self esteem was Embarrassed by my Parents”
During my childhood my mother words reached in and pulled out the heart and soul behind my self-esteem and self-image and stomped it; I began adulthood with a broken spirit and a ball and chain that tarnished my self esteem:
I came into this world with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and my face blue from lack of oxygen (my mother repeated this over and over); I was an innocent newborn child dependent upon the outside world for my survival. I had no choice in whom my parents happened to be. I had no control on the type of environment I was brought. I had no choice but to absorb the feedback from my parents, other people, and my environment.
I was innocent and untainted. But, my upbringing tainted the untainted soul.
From the most distant memory of 5 to the age of 18, I was mentally and physically abused as a child. None of these memories have faded with time.
The concept of believing in myself “was” totally foreign to me as a child and including my teen years. My mother destroyed me; she shriveled me up like a prune; shrunk me down to a tiny ant that could be mentally killed with a quick flick of a few words; “My self esteem was embarrassed by my parents”.
Believe me when I tell you, I know much pain in my childhood and I turned it around. My childhood explains WHY I am the way I am on the forum. My mother took the zest for life out of me, and I had to find it. I felt worthless and ashamed of myself at 18 entering a world that would eat you alive while gnashing its teeth laughing.
My father left my mother on 4 different occasions between 1963 to 1969, with my mother taking this man back each time, with the exception of the 4th time where he left her no alternative. My Father went to work one morning and never returned; I was about 8 (1969).
I remember my mother weeping in the mornings I went to school, and each time I saw her, I cried, and tried to put my arm around her to comfort her. Each time she would throw my arm back and say, “Get your ****ing arm off of me. You make me sick. I can’t stand to look at you. You look so much like your father you make me sick!”
My mother began drinking whiskey heavily after my father deserted her, and her hatred toward her children began to grow and get stronger with each passing day. I don’t have enough finger and toes to count the times, she came to my room in the morning to wake me up for school with a ball hammer beating on the door, saying things like: “It’s time to get you’re your sorry ugly ass up for school, don’t make me come in there and get you up”. At the same time, she would utter, “I don’t even know why you go to school. You’re never goanna amount to anything, having that Crews blood going through your veins!”
After several years of this sort of verbal abuse, I began not going to school and was being picked on by other students at the grade school. I used to pretend I went to school after my mother woke me up, by walking half way to the bus stop, then turning around, climbing on to the porch of the house, and entering my bed room through the window, and would hide in an upper cabinet with my Mickey mouse watch, and then come out at about the time school let out and just reverse what I did in the morning when I acted like I was going to school. It didn’t take long before the school contacted my mother saying I hadn’t been in school. I remember to this day, the sound of the hammer hitting the walls as she walked up the stairs (and I was hiding in the cabinet), and how much I was trembling and sobbing. As I heard the other cabinet doors open, my heart started pounding harder and harder; I pissed my pants, I remember, as she opened the cabinet I was in, and reached in and pulled me out by my hair. She began screaming at me, saying, “Why haven’t you been going to school you worthless piece of ****?! I will make you go to school if I have to beat you all the way there myself. You understand?” My mother than got a belt and beat me on my back, thighs, and chest, leaving welts and bruises. I remember crying all night in a fetal position in my bedroom, and my mother yelling at me to shut up.
Shortly after this, my grandmother died, and at the funeral my mother made me hold the cold hand of the corpse for 15 minutes, and told me she was going to haunt me in my sleep. My mother hid the casket flowers under my bed, and told me I better not sleep or I may not wake up. I was frighten beyond belief and peed my pants. My grandmother loved me, my mother was telling me she hated me, and I loved my grandmother.
Shortly after this I was taken from my mother and put in a foster home for about 2 years (from about 11 to 13 years of age). The experiences within this foster home, I could write a book about. I just don’t have the space for it here.
My mother’s verbal abuse continued in the same manner after I returned. However, at the age of 17, she said it one too many times, and I cornered her, and told her: “I am the innocent one, I didn’t ask to be born nor did I ask you to lay with the man that made me!” CRACK! She smacked me twice in the face. During the entire time of my mother’s abuse, I never struck her one time.
This leads to the “living changing event” that is both the worst and best experience of my life:
One night while out with friends drinking (beer) at about age 18 (1979), my best friend and I left the party, and started just talking about where we were goanna go next, and we decided we would stop and have some fun first. We both went to his house and got two sledge hammers, and went to a new car sales lot and battered all the new cars. I mean the windshields, hood, trunk, and side panels. We then started to walk down an alley, and I got the bright idea to bust a small garage window with my fist, and cut my middle right finger to the bone, and we walked to the hospital so I could get stitches. Subsequently, this is how we got caught. In two days, the police were at my door with an arrest warrant, and I was taken to jail. My mother called me while I was in the county jail, and told me she had learned where my father was through his sister, and told me: “Why don’t you go down there, and be with this worthless bastard, you are just like him!” I did call my father, and after leaving my mother 4 times, and having no contact with me since I was about 8 years old, this is what he said: “If you want to come out here, you will find a way”.
To make a long story short, I was extremely lucky with a very lenient judge and prosecutor. A deal was worked out, where I was to pay $144,000 in restitution, have a year probation, and avoid jail by going to Kansas and staying with my father. After this year was completed, all documents concerning the case would erased (laws were different than they are now). Therefore, I went to Kansas when I was 18, in 1979. This is both the worst and best experience of my life.
I went to Kansas from Illinois, in a 1975 Ford Pinto, that had ply wood for side windows, and rainbow colors of all kinds, and couldn’t drive faster than 50 miles an hour, and the clutch would work only some of the time. It took us 3 days to get to Liberal, Kansas, and the last 25 miles were towed into Liberal by a person lending a helping hand of three long haired hippies.
To make this short. I had forgiven my Father for his obvious shortcomings, though he had and still is lying in the face of unconditional forgiveness.
However, he had given me something that has no value and is literally priceless. This too would be a long write. So I will spare this. In any event, I set out, during my first year there, to make something of myself, and have turned into a controlled over achiever.
I am a product of the "opposite of my upbringing", not a direct deposit from it.
One negative aspect, is I tend to be obsessive with my goals in life. I know this, but I do control it. A lot of persons with my upbringing are literally destroyed for life. I was able to step out of it at about 19 years old (without professional help, and on my own).
My upbringing and wanting to prove this wrong, brings out my excessive compulsion. I know this too. Its under control, and sometimes I flat don’t care. I have been very successful in life due to the proper perspective I have put on my childhood, and understanding and controlling some side effects. I have removed the “stained glass” of my childhood.
I have experienced a lot of pain between the ages of 8 through 18 years of age. And, don’t want anyone to feel this pain. If they do, I want to do what I can to help them realize they do have the inner ability to work through problems and complications, and this explains a lot of my actions on the forum. I make this statement in the hopes one can understand WHY I act the way I do. If one looks at what I have said, and thinks about my actions on the forum, they go hand in hand with what I am expressing. I have always been truthful, honest, and forthright. I know there may be some that think to the contrary, but to be blunt, it doesn’t affect me one way or the other, as I know the truth. I have no emotional value in the contrary opinion one way or the other.
I have immense self confidence and know I can overcome anything: My childhood laid the foundation of proof that I can and my subsequent reaction to my childhood adds furtherance to this belief.
My diet and fitness, mental and physical problems, pale in comparison and are not even close to being in same league as my upbringing and the complications my wife has with her medical complications. With all the problems and abuse I encountered as a child and teenager, I know it’s not my fault; however, it has always been ME to take a proper perspective and take me out of it and bring success. No one else was going to do it for me, and this world was not going to be a very forgiving member if I didn’t. Thus, I ROCK ON! YES, ROCK ON!.
I am living “proof” that one with this type of upbringing can have a successful marriage (25 years), and raise two children with the same heart and spirit I possess. Facts and statistics are crap when considering me. I am the friggen’ exception.
This one’s stolen from my interview with FF because it stumped me a little – Why are you so interested in other people?
I have personal experience (from life, my childhood, military, and Law enforcement experiences) that has taught me first hand, that one can change the hand that was delivered. I want persons to realize that they truly have the ability to accomplish nearly anything they desire IF they just appropriately deal with both body and mind, and have it work together as a cohesive partnership. I don’t want anyone to feel the things I did when growing up, I want persons to feel happy, fulfilled, and passionate, in what they aspire to do. Thus, I set out in my own style to portray this on the forum practically every day; its true and its genuine. I know the truth, and through my own built in “bull****-o-meter” I do not allow within me, anything to the contrary to penetrate this plain truth. In June 2007, I created the ChillOut Log to reach out to persons, and effect them in some positive manner—however slight. I have a genuine passion for other people, and with the diversity of opinions and personalities, skeptics of the log are expected, but NOT accepted (BS-o-meter, get flipped on). There is a lot to learn from other people both acceptable and not acceptable, and learning why persons do the things they do. I like analyzing these types of things.
What’s the biggest mistake you ever made in your life?
Not being able as a teenager, to step out of my immoral upbringing and take a look inside myself to reveal and then deal with the stained glass within that was constructed by my mother.
In order to have one somewhat understand the circumstances, I need to first “briefly” explain my childhood leading up to that point in time.
“My Self esteem was Embarrassed by my Parents”
During my childhood my mother words reached in and pulled out the heart and soul behind my self-esteem and self-image and stomped it; I began adulthood with a broken spirit and a ball and chain that tarnished my self esteem:
I came into this world with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and my face blue from lack of oxygen (my mother repeated this over and over); I was an innocent newborn child dependent upon the outside world for my survival. I had no choice in whom my parents happened to be. I had no control on the type of environment I was brought. I had no choice but to absorb the feedback from my parents, other people, and my environment.
I was innocent and untainted. But, my upbringing tainted the untainted soul.
From the most distant memory of 5 to the age of 18, I was mentally and physically abused as a child. None of these memories have faded with time.
The concept of believing in myself “was” totally foreign to me as a child and including my teen years. My mother destroyed me; she shriveled me up like a prune; shrunk me down to a tiny ant that could be mentally killed with a quick flick of a few words; “My self esteem was embarrassed by my parents”.
Believe me when I tell you, I know much pain in my childhood and I turned it around. My childhood explains WHY I am the way I am on the forum. My mother took the zest for life out of me, and I had to find it. I felt worthless and ashamed of myself at 18 entering a world that would eat you alive while gnashing its teeth laughing.
My father left my mother on 4 different occasions between 1963 to 1969, with my mother taking this man back each time, with the exception of the 4th time where he left her no alternative. My Father went to work one morning and never returned; I was about 8 (1969).
I remember my mother weeping in the mornings I went to school, and each time I saw her, I cried, and tried to put my arm around her to comfort her. Each time she would throw my arm back and say, “Get your ****ing arm off of me. You make me sick. I can’t stand to look at you. You look so much like your father you make me sick!”
My mother began drinking whiskey heavily after my father deserted her, and her hatred toward her children began to grow and get stronger with each passing day. I don’t have enough finger and toes to count the times, she came to my room in the morning to wake me up for school with a ball hammer beating on the door, saying things like: “It’s time to get you’re your sorry ugly ass up for school, don’t make me come in there and get you up”. At the same time, she would utter, “I don’t even know why you go to school. You’re never goanna amount to anything, having that Crews blood going through your veins!”
After several years of this sort of verbal abuse, I began not going to school and was being picked on by other students at the grade school. I used to pretend I went to school after my mother woke me up, by walking half way to the bus stop, then turning around, climbing on to the porch of the house, and entering my bed room through the window, and would hide in an upper cabinet with my Mickey mouse watch, and then come out at about the time school let out and just reverse what I did in the morning when I acted like I was going to school. It didn’t take long before the school contacted my mother saying I hadn’t been in school. I remember to this day, the sound of the hammer hitting the walls as she walked up the stairs (and I was hiding in the cabinet), and how much I was trembling and sobbing. As I heard the other cabinet doors open, my heart started pounding harder and harder; I pissed my pants, I remember, as she opened the cabinet I was in, and reached in and pulled me out by my hair. She began screaming at me, saying, “Why haven’t you been going to school you worthless piece of ****?! I will make you go to school if I have to beat you all the way there myself. You understand?” My mother than got a belt and beat me on my back, thighs, and chest, leaving welts and bruises. I remember crying all night in a fetal position in my bedroom, and my mother yelling at me to shut up.
Shortly after this, my grandmother died, and at the funeral my mother made me hold the cold hand of the corpse for 15 minutes, and told me she was going to haunt me in my sleep. My mother hid the casket flowers under my bed, and told me I better not sleep or I may not wake up. I was frighten beyond belief and peed my pants. My grandmother loved me, my mother was telling me she hated me, and I loved my grandmother.
Shortly after this I was taken from my mother and put in a foster home for about 2 years (from about 11 to 13 years of age). The experiences within this foster home, I could write a book about. I just don’t have the space for it here.
My mother’s verbal abuse continued in the same manner after I returned. However, at the age of 17, she said it one too many times, and I cornered her, and told her: “I am the innocent one, I didn’t ask to be born nor did I ask you to lay with the man that made me!” CRACK! She smacked me twice in the face. During the entire time of my mother’s abuse, I never struck her one time.
This leads to the “living changing event” that is both the worst and best experience of my life:
One night while out with friends drinking (beer) at about age 18 (1979), my best friend and I left the party, and started just talking about where we were goanna go next, and we decided we would stop and have some fun first. We both went to his house and got two sledge hammers, and went to a new car sales lot and battered all the new cars. I mean the windshields, hood, trunk, and side panels. We then started to walk down an alley, and I got the bright idea to bust a small garage window with my fist, and cut my middle right finger to the bone, and we walked to the hospital so I could get stitches. Subsequently, this is how we got caught. In two days, the police were at my door with an arrest warrant, and I was taken to jail. My mother called me while I was in the county jail, and told me she had learned where my father was through his sister, and told me: “Why don’t you go down there, and be with this worthless bastard, you are just like him!” I did call my father, and after leaving my mother 4 times, and having no contact with me since I was about 8 years old, this is what he said: “If you want to come out here, you will find a way”.
To make a long story short, I was extremely lucky with a very lenient judge and prosecutor. A deal was worked out, where I was to pay $144,000 in restitution, have a year probation, and avoid jail by going to Kansas and staying with my father. After this year was completed, all documents concerning the case would erased (laws were different than they are now). Therefore, I went to Kansas when I was 18, in 1979. This is both the worst and best experience of my life.
I went to Kansas from Illinois, in a 1975 Ford Pinto, that had ply wood for side windows, and rainbow colors of all kinds, and couldn’t drive faster than 50 miles an hour, and the clutch would work only some of the time. It took us 3 days to get to Liberal, Kansas, and the last 25 miles were towed into Liberal by a person lending a helping hand of three long haired hippies.
To make this short. I had forgiven my Father for his obvious shortcomings, though he had and still is lying in the face of unconditional forgiveness.
However, he had given me something that has no value and is literally priceless. This too would be a long write. So I will spare this. In any event, I set out, during my first year there, to make something of myself, and have turned into a controlled over achiever.
I am a product of the "opposite of my upbringing", not a direct deposit from it.
One negative aspect, is I tend to be obsessive with my goals in life. I know this, but I do control it. A lot of persons with my upbringing are literally destroyed for life. I was able to step out of it at about 19 years old (without professional help, and on my own).
My upbringing and wanting to prove this wrong, brings out my excessive compulsion. I know this too. Its under control, and sometimes I flat don’t care. I have been very successful in life due to the proper perspective I have put on my childhood, and understanding and controlling some side effects. I have removed the “stained glass” of my childhood.
I have experienced a lot of pain between the ages of 8 through 18 years of age. And, don’t want anyone to feel this pain. If they do, I want to do what I can to help them realize they do have the inner ability to work through problems and complications, and this explains a lot of my actions on the forum. I make this statement in the hopes one can understand WHY I act the way I do. If one looks at what I have said, and thinks about my actions on the forum, they go hand in hand with what I am expressing. I have always been truthful, honest, and forthright. I know there may be some that think to the contrary, but to be blunt, it doesn’t affect me one way or the other, as I know the truth. I have no emotional value in the contrary opinion one way or the other.
I have immense self confidence and know I can overcome anything: My childhood laid the foundation of proof that I can and my subsequent reaction to my childhood adds furtherance to this belief.
My diet and fitness, mental and physical problems, pale in comparison and are not even close to being in same league as my upbringing and the complications my wife has with her medical complications. With all the problems and abuse I encountered as a child and teenager, I know it’s not my fault; however, it has always been ME to take a proper perspective and take me out of it and bring success. No one else was going to do it for me, and this world was not going to be a very forgiving member if I didn’t. Thus, I ROCK ON! YES, ROCK ON!.
I am living “proof” that one with this type of upbringing can have a successful marriage (25 years), and raise two children with the same heart and spirit I possess. Facts and statistics are crap when considering me. I am the friggen’ exception.
This one’s stolen from my interview with FF because it stumped me a little – Why are you so interested in other people?
I have personal experience (from life, my childhood, military, and Law enforcement experiences) that has taught me first hand, that one can change the hand that was delivered. I want persons to realize that they truly have the ability to accomplish nearly anything they desire IF they just appropriately deal with both body and mind, and have it work together as a cohesive partnership. I don’t want anyone to feel the things I did when growing up, I want persons to feel happy, fulfilled, and passionate, in what they aspire to do. Thus, I set out in my own style to portray this on the forum practically every day; its true and its genuine. I know the truth, and through my own built in “bull****-o-meter” I do not allow within me, anything to the contrary to penetrate this plain truth. In June 2007, I created the ChillOut Log to reach out to persons, and effect them in some positive manner—however slight. I have a genuine passion for other people, and with the diversity of opinions and personalities, skeptics of the log are expected, but NOT accepted (BS-o-meter, get flipped on). There is a lot to learn from other people both acceptable and not acceptable, and learning why persons do the things they do. I like analyzing these types of things.
Chillen, you fricking rock!!!
CCR good job too!
CCR good job too!
Thank you!
I havnt even read it yet but F*CK!!!
should be a nice longgggggg read
LOL! It's not for one with tired eye balls, I know, LOL.
I know its long and will turn some people off. However, others just may be read between the lines and possibly obtain some personal value.
Definately, thank you, Def!
Thank you, Phate (as always).
Keep AMPING IT UP, AMP! Thanks!
Thanks, Matt
Hope everyones day went well! Keep the the flame burning, baby!
ROCK ON!
Peace, happiness, and joy, to ALL!
Take it one day at a time, and never forget to properly analyze your fitness progress along your goal path.
Put it altogether and within stand the storm! Get REFORMED through staying INFORMED and be TRANSFORMED! THIS ROCKS!
We do not have any babies on this forum, we are the BEST!
Chillen
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I think Ill have to block out 2 hours of my schedule for this
I think Ill have to block out 2 hours of my schedule for this
If you take that speed reading class, it would be much less than 2 hours
I know. SO I guess I will reading it after about a week.
Speaking of, I am going to go read some more of that book. Not everyone can read 505 wpm
Speaking of, I am going to go read some more of that book. Not everyone can read 505 wpm
