SunnyDay's Diary

SunnyDay said:
it wasn't my idea to start at 1200. i bought one of those scales that measures body fat% (even though i thought it was a bad idea) and i used the number it gave me to figure up my BMR. the number the online formula i used gave me was 1389- told me i need to take in 1910 calories a day. i decreased 1910 by 25% giving me 1432. so i was planning on aiming for 1400 but the first day i counted i ended up just under 1200 and i felt ok. i've heard a lot of times that 1200 is a blanket number that diet plans say to cut down to so i figure it's probably something like the lowest "safe" number of calories to aim for. so really my thought was to shoot for anywhere between 1400-1200. i figured as long as i didn't go over 1400 i'd still be able to lose some weight and as long as i didn't drop under 1200 i wouldn't be starving.
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No, there is no general baseline caloric intake that is "okay" for everyone. Caloric intake is a very individual and personal thing. Anyone saying otherwise is wrong.

I know you don't know me at all, so putting your trust in a stranger kind of sucks. But I promise ya... haha, I don't spend all this time on these sites so I can secretly make people fat. I am here to offer my advice. My advice is based on years of learning from books and hands on experience. I don't claim to know all, that is for sure. But listening to me will definitely leave you better off then just winging it on your own.

and thanks for understanding my worries about obsessing. a lot of people think it's dumb but to me it's very real. i hate myself for being fat (and at 180 and 5'6 i'm not really that big at all) and i know feeling that way can be the first step in the wrong direction.
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I have seen people become obsessive with this lifestyle. It is quite easy actually. Many people who don't know me "assume" that I am obsessive with it.

Compare me to your average couch potato, and sure, you could say that I am.

Compare me to your average gym-goer though, and I am not. And 9/10 times, and I hate saying this b/c it sounds like I am blowing my own horn, but I have a point, but 9/10 times I look better than them too.

The reason I believe that this is the case is because of my healthy relationship I have with this lifestyle.

I could have something come up such as an injury or a trip, which leads to a week off from the gym. Guess what? I would not mind.

A dinner could comes up with a bunch of friends and guess what? I am going to eat whatever the hell I want.

I might be tired and not feel like running today. Guess what? I won't.

I live and die by this notion:

Acute setbacks mean VERY little in the grand scheme of chronic forward progress.

I know that over the long run, I am going to do things the right way. And because of this fact, when I am not up for the challenge or when life gets in the way.... it's okay. Because tomorrow is another day. Or next week is another week. I've programmed my mind for LONG TERM success. My mind drives my actions.

And "big-scale" success like we talk about here. You know the kind. Losing 50 lbs. Looking your best ever. Regaining your health. These kind of "big-scale successes" don't happen overnight. They take a great deal of consistent effort over a long period of time. So when things don't go the way you had hoped or planned one day or one week.... big whoop. Those short time frames mean very little when we are dealing with such large time frames.

Why am I telling you this? You are not me and I am not you.

Right now you are putting a lot of focus on your nutrition. While you are exerting the energy, I suggest partitioning some of it toward your mind and the pre-existing relationships you have in there. If you tell yourself that you will probably get addicted to this to an obsessive level, my bet is that you will. What you repeatedly think on a conscious level becomes your realities. I have seen it time and time again.

So letting your mind run wild with all these concerns is probably going to make them true, eventually.

I'd rather see you start focusing on the things you say to yourself. Your self-talk. And through this, establish a healthy relationship with your body. Start focusing on what you want rather than what you don't want.

IMO, you've got to get the mind right before you get the body right.
 
I think you have to be satisfied with how you are feeling and what you see in the mirror. whether that's a size 6 or a size 14. I also think you shold go about getting that satisfaction in a healthy way -which you are :D
 
all of that "long term" stuff makes a lot of sense to me, steve. that messing up in the short term doesn't have to ruin the long term. i also think that maybe you're right about me talking myself into all of the bad stuff. but i can't shake the fear. and i don't exactly have the best support system here. i have my sweetie telling me that i'm perfect just the way i am. and i have my mom (who is obese and in danger of a stroke drs orders to diet and exercise, ignored) inviting me over for dessert and asking me what am i trying to do, starve myself? i know i'm just whining and excuses are just excuses, but i don't know how to get passed it all. i mean i've really had the conversation tons of times in my head- i'm unhealthy and fat now, why not be unhealthy and skinny instead? either way i'm killing myself, why not approve of my appearance while i do it? i know it's not a good mindset, i just don't know how to change it. that's part of the reason i came here.

and mal, i absolutely agree, how you feel about what you see in the mirror is what counts... and i hope you're right about me doing it in a healthy way, though my growing concern is that i am not.
 
All the more reason to not "diet" at all but to make some slight, slow changes with your life so, that the weight you don't feel comfortable with will slowly melt away. As Steve said, there are no quick ways to lose weight that has taken a long time to gather. You say you've gone up 4 sizes in a year. How about if you concentrate on going down those sizes instead of going down in weight.
Last year this time I weighed 7 pounds less than now, however my waist was 3 inches more than now. Go figure.. That's the result of a) exercising more b) eating more&healthier c) being happy with what I'm doing and who I am. And that last one is a direct result from trying to make my life better, and not from having a better life. It just might become better in the process.
You have one support system here. We do what we can to help you and hopefully offer you a channel to vent your feelings and get some useful ideas and just have good fun sometimes. Since there are so many of us here, I'd say there are quite a lot of people who don't get a lot of support from family or other people close by. Yey for the internet!!!
Juliette
 
all of that sounds pretty good juliette, except for the "slow, slight" part. i know me and if i try to take it too slow i'll either get frustrated and give up or take it to the extreme to speed it up. i'm really gonna try though. and the support i'm getting here is awesome, it's helping more than i ever would have believed it could!
 
I put this very bluntly:
To succeed in this you need to realize that

Slow equals Success.

Fast equals Failure.

Every time you have the urge to go fast and take short cuts, ask yourself Do I Want To Succeed? When your answer is Yes, you know you need to take it slow.
You have all it takes to succeed.
 
food update

add 70cal cheesestick for total of 590... ate it even though i wasn't hungry. don't feel good about that...
 
SunnyDay said:
add 70cal cheesestick for total of 590... ate it even though i wasn't hungry. don't feel good about that...
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What Julie said above is very true.

And eating more than you are used to is never a fun thing. People around here usually hate me when i say, "Eating to gain weight is so hard."

I know you aren't eating to gain, but you are still eating more than you are used to. Don't fret. Your metabolism will adjust. It isn't static. And remember, this process is only temporary.
 
thanks steve, maybe if i can keep listening to you guys then i can stay on the right track and actually make it
 
I love that word - "fret" -it's so cute -its like the vapors or something :)

Definitions:
fuss: worry unnecessarily or excessively

Fuss I like too :) it should be my middle name :D

cause annoyance in
hmm - i usually cause annoyance in others :D so does that make me a fret?

I like the word :)
 
suppertime...

gardenburger (100cal) on double fiber wheat bread (80cal) with pickles (5cal) 1/2 cup mac and cheese (205cal) 1 dill pickle spear (5cal) and 8oz. 2%milk (120cal) added in with everything from earlier for a daily total of 1105. which is obviously not enough. (see steve, i am learning!) i'm full now. if i eat anything else i'll be stuffed. it's almost 830 so i hate to eat anything else, but in a little while i will. and i think tomorrow i will have a couple between meal snacks to try and add a few more calories. we'll see what really happens i guess. when it comes to dieting i'm pretty good at saying this is what i'll do tomorrow... and then doing something else all together. anyway, i'll check back in...
 
I think you're doing p r e t t y w e l l right now in this slow and slight stuff we talked about yesterday. Adding the snacks is a very good idea, stick to it! :D Have a good day today!
Juliette
 
good morning!

(first let me note the skinny cow i had last night that brought yesterday to 1245, which isn't good but it is better than 1105)

felt much better when i woke up this morning than i did yesterday so i got back to my morning dvd. today the exercise calendar said hip hop abs, which is not the hardest, but i think it is my least favorite. i did it anyway and i think that's good. means that today i'm already doing better than i did yesterday :)

breakfast time: 1 egg seasoned with my fav creole spices (70cal) 1 piece double fiber wheat toast (40cal) with 1tbsp fat free cream cheese (15cal) and 8oz oj (110cal) for a total of 235 for breakfast. sounds good to me.

thanks so much for stopping by Juliette and i hope you have an awesome day!!

i'll check in later... :cool:
 
ah beautiful sunday...

fell behind on my journaling yesterday, i know, but i did fall right at 1400calories yesterday. more than i've been having but definately not too much. i slept in this morning, didn't do any of my exercise dvds, so i'm a little down on myself about that. it's hard to be too upset though on such a beautiful day. i'm in the process of filling up the kiddie pool for the boys so we should have a fun day in store. breakfast set me back 200 calories this morning. i really wasn't hungry but i decided to eat anyway. i was afraid if i didn't that i would end up really hungry later and eat too much. i'm trying to get myself set up for a good day because i'm worried that today won't be such a good diet day. my daddy and stepmom just got home from the beach last night and they are gonna come by later. we will probably end up having dinner together and they LOVE to eat so sometimes it's tough not to indulge with them. sweetie is starting to be much more supportive though. i guess now he sees that i'm really serious about this. i'm keeping him updated on my calorie count for the day whether he wants to know or not and not being afraid to say noway i can't eat that. this morning over breakfast (he was having 3 fried eggs and 2 servings of grits with cream and sugar) he said, "i should really start eating healthy with you, it's not fair for me to eat stuff like this in front of you and you want it but not be able to have it." i told him it was ok, that he needs more calories than i do and that it's not fair for me to make him eat "health" food if he doesn't want it just because i'm fat. but i think it's really sweet that he's trying to help now. anyway, i'm almost through my first weekend since starting the real calorie counting and i'm doing really well. i think i'm gonna be ok! plus, i'm weighing in again in the morning so that will help me be careful i think. gotta run, i'll try to check in later.
 
monday, monday...

i try to gauge what my day will be like by how it begins... not sure what to make of this morning in that case. i got up bright and early (thanks to some morning lovin' :) ) but i did NOT feel like exercising. took a look at the exercise calendar and it was listing the basic workout for today which i really don't like to do. it's tougher than the others, but mostly just because i don't have any fun when i do it. so i decided not to do it. not to exercise at all. i figured what the heck, i can skip days sometimes. what will it hurt? some people only exercise a few times a week, right? so i straightened up some toys that the kids left out last night and then i took care of some emails and got something ready to put in the mail. then i figured i'd log on here for a few minutes and see what was new, plus i needed to update my ticker... i lost another .8 lbs (not much but still a loss!). so i came on and updated it and i thought... the weigh in this morning was the first one since wednesday... i'm pretty sure the day i skipped exercising was thursday, then i didn't exercise yesterday and last night i went out for burgers (and onion rings OMG) and i still managed to lose a little weight... but why skip another day of exercise? my diet is back on track this morning... the more positive action i take, the more positive results i'll see. so i got up from the computer, grabbed a bottle of water, and popped in the "advanced" dvd. it wasn't the one listed on the exercise calendar, but so what? i make the rules here... so i got moving. i did my exercise after all. and somehow it makes me more proud of myself for overcoming the strong desire not to exercise than if i'd just jumped right up and went to it. anyway, now it's done and i'm glad. breakfast is setting me back 270calories which is a little more than normal, but i threw in a little extra protein and i don't think 270 is too much. i've got some errands to run today and i don't want my tummy to get rumbly and be tempted by drive thru (taco bell gets me everytime!) so i'm kinda applauding myself i guess... monday's are weird but i think it's gonna be ok. i'll check in later.

hope everyone has a wonderful day!!!! :jump:
 
and tuesday...

so i did really well at breakfast yesterday, but then lunchtime came and i was so busy. i grabbed drive thru for the kids and i had a trail mix bar which is only like 140calories and i know that's not good. then last night sweetie decided he wanted to go to the little "italian" place up the street for dinner so i ended up having pizza. i was cringing on the way over cause i love the pizza there so i knew i was gonna gorge myself. but then it came (pepperoni, mushroom, black olives, and jalapenos yum) and i ended up only eating one small slice. after that i was really just full which is strange for me. since i hadn't eaten much of anything i said to sweetie that maybe i should try to eat a little more, but he said no, not if i wasn't hungry anymore so i decided not to eat anymore. i did drink sweet tea as well, not sure how many calories the whole meal ended up, but i'm sure there wasn't much nutritional value in it. and then i didn't get the late-nite munchies like i usually do either. maybe my stomach is shrinking. now i'm at that crossroads with myself though, cause i feel like i shouldn't eat if i'm not hungry, but i need fuel whether i have an appetite or not. anyway, this morning has been kinda weird too. haven't been really hungry. had a little late breakfast (130calories). maybe i'll be hungry come lunchtime. i'm gonna spend the afternoon outside with the kids in the kiddie pool out back. that should be fun and maybe i'll work up an appetite.
 
it's 1:00 and i'm actually hungry so i put one of those frozen boneless skinless chicken breasts in the oven. i've been eating those a lot. i wonder how accurate the nutrition facts on the bag are. anyway, indulging in some bbq sauce and a little milk with it so my daily total will come to 500calories, which is ok with me.

this forum is so great... i was looking around at other forums to see if they are all so great and i actually found pro-anorexia websites. that is absolutely un-freaking believable to me. people were talking about wanting to be anorexic and giving eachother tips. it was ridiculous. needless to say, i got out of there pretty quick.

gotta run... the baby wants to brush his teeth (again).
 
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