SunnyDay's Diary

got 60calories from the creamer in my coffee this morning, but no breakfast so far cause i'm just not hungry. my sleep last night was terrible. i had terrible dreams all night long. got up this morning and really didn't feel like exercising so i put on some comfy house-clothes and grabbed a blanket and the remote and piled up on the couch. there was nothing on tv. i decided to get up and do my exercise dvd anyway. i didn't really want to and i didn't really feel like i had to, it just seemed like the thing to do. so i did it and now i'm glad i did. it got me moving around and got my heart pumping... did just a little sweating and then the yoga moves really helped me relax some (from all the bad dreams). not sure how the day is gonna go. usually when i don't have enough sleep i tend to both be grouchy, and eat too much. i hope i can avoid both of those today though so far all it seems is that i have no appetite. feel like i'm getting into some kind of rut and not really sure why...
 
so i was doing really well up until yesterday and then yesterday i ate both chinese food AND pizza. i don't know what i was thinking. now part of me is like, it was just one day-- let it go everything will be fine, but another part of me is so angry with myself that i would be so dumb. i was doing really well and i was happy with the progress i was making. so today i'm gonna be SUPER careful to try and make up for yesterday even though i'm pretty sure that's not the right thing to do. so i think nothing but salad, baked chicken, and water for me all day today. i can't mess up with those things. i bought a canoe yesterday so that we can get back to our family trips to the lake, but that means i'll have to go out and get a swimsuit. the only one i have is the 2 piece that i wore last summer. when i think about how i would look in a swimsuit like that now i hate myself so much. how did i let this happen to me? i'm not sure how good for me journaling is gonna be right at this moment since i'm basically just feeling like going on and on about all of my flaws. maybe i'll feel better later.
 
I hope you're already feeling better. :hug2: It's very important to make your peace with the both sides of you, the one beating you up after a bad day as well as the one worrying more about the future than the past. The fact is, you can only change the future, but you can learn from the past.
Remember the bad feeling you had after the bad day and associate that in your mind with the things that made that day bad. When you feel like doing those things next time, the memory of the bad feeling afterwards is supposed to make the bad thing less desirable. As simple as it sounds, everyone here knows it takes some learning to get it right. But it WILL help you fight the things that aren't good for you.
I wish you a very good day today! :)
Juliette
 
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