Struggles on the road to health

See! I couldn't believe the difference either. I bet you'll be dreaming now. ;)

Sorry to hear dh is sick.

Sounds like a good workout plan (this is short, but I've got to go take my shower and get to bed!)
 
Hit the elliptical extra hard this morning, but I'm recovering from it nicely. Still at 165 for now...we'll see how it goes this week.

The husband...he's stressing me out. For months now he's been having trouble with serious anxiety and panic attacks. He's getting where he hates going to work on his truck because he gets so nervous and worries so much about everything that his days are horrible. Then he comes home in a horrible mood and either takes his bad day out on me or is so tired he doesn't even talk. Forget good moods....they don't happen anymore.

Not sure what to do...but his unhappiness is making me seriously unhappy, as well. And that unhappiness is sending me back into some bad habits...like snacking on candy up here at work and eating extra at home. :ack2:
 
Tornados!!

So some big stuff hit my hometown yesterday at 5:30 p.m.....the Breckenridge, Texas, some of you hear about on the news is where my aunt, dad, sister, friends and other people live. Luckily it missed their homes...I think. There's one I can't account for. But nobody died, thank goodness. Another big storm with possible tornadoes got close to my brother's house, but never produced anything.

I hate spring.

Moving on...I changed the ticker yesterday, but shouldn't have. I still weigh in at 165. :svengo: I'll never get to 160!!!
 
I'll never get to 160!!!
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If you say you'll never get there then you won't...

You will get there - you might be taking the scenic route to find it -but you will get there... Patience missy...

and not that it's my business -cuz it's not but that doesn't stop me from butting in :D

Has your husband said what's on his mind -what's causing his angst? What he's going thru can be treated -I'm not a big fan of medicating but if other options fail, then it's a solution... a person shouldn't have to live with those feelings... Is he doing anything about it?
 
Ok...I WILL get to 160!!! (Is that better?) I truly think I will...it's just so hard hitting a standstill after months of continuous losing. I weighed on the scale at the place where I work out this morning. It's a doctor's scale (since it's at the hospital), and it's recalibrated every day. It said 162, without shoes on, but with workout shorts and a sleeveless shirt on. Scale at home was 165...but I'm sticking with the 165 simply because that's on the scale I've used since day one. That 162 looked so good, though...

As for the husband, he's always been a worrier, and we've pinpointed that it started when his mom was married to his ex-step-dad, years ago. The man was an alcoholic that would severely hurt her and made them all miserable for years. After he left he became the dad of the house, and since high school was responsible for taking care of the family when they were in trouble, etc.

But anyway, he's worried since then, and has had trouble with anxiety. It's just all come to a head, so to speak, in the last few months with panic attacks and things. He's a negative thinker, all the time...like he'll be driving his truck and think of all the things that could go wrong and cause him to wreck. Or he said recently he'll stay awake at night and worry about his little brother, or that he's not attractive enough or a good enough husband. Just obsessive negative thoughts.

He's been prescribed paxil, to help with "generalized anxiety." The pills helped at first, but have since stopped. They upped the dosage but it wasn't working as well. He hasn't been back to the doctor yet...

But online I found a book on anxiety and panic disorder written by Lucinda Bassett...a former agoraphobic, panic disorder sufferer, etc., who now helps people get over the same problems. He's listened to a CD that came with the book, and is trying to change his way of thinking.

It's a start....at least he WANTS to get better...
 
Last early workout...

Today was my last 6 a.m. workout at the little gym I go to....starting Monday they open at 7 a.m. Which still sucks, because there's no way I can get a full workout, with weights, in during an hour, AND make it to work by 8 a.m.

The lady who opens the place said she's coming in at 6:45 a.m....so the plan for now is to do my normal cardio every morning (except Wednesday...I've got to be AT work by 7 a.m.), then if I don't have time to get 'em in, go BACK in the afternoon and do the weights Monday and Friday 'till we get our own set for home.

It'll be a pain, but maybe it'll vary the routine enough to help with the last 4-5 pounds...
 
The reason they're opening late is because the lady who USED to come and open, who worked part time for the opening and closing of the place, only, got sick and couldn't do it anymore. The department head had been doing it, but she hates getting up early so she convinced the administrator guy that it wasn't worth it for the place to open at 6 a.m. anymore, since "nobody" came that early.

Four people came that early, including me. But anyway...

She SAID she'd be there at 6:45 a.m., so I showed up this morning at 6:40. Nada. Someone else showed up to open the place at 7 a.m. on the dot, so I got on the bike at 7:05 or so. I've started doing intervals more on the bike...120 rpm for five minutes, two minutes rest (about 16 mph...slower than that seemed TOO slow), and so on. Did 20 minutes of that, upper body weights, then 10 more minutes of intervals on the bike. Got out of there at 7:45 a.m., so maybe it'll work out. I wanted to do longer cardio...at least another 5 or 10 minutes, but maybe if I go harder than normal for 30 minutes it'll be ok....

Got to work by 8 a.m., but it felt weird because I'm usually at work by 7:15 at the latest. We'll see how it goes...

No weight lost this weekend, but no gains either.

I got down on myself for no reason yesterday, though. Just decided I hated the way my body looks now, but today I realize that I just need to go shopping. I think it was just some leftover emotion from being mad at the husband Saturday.

We went to Wichita Falls, the closest big town with places to shop, on Saturday. I told him before we went that I wanted to do just a little shopping....I've only got four shirts that aren't two sizes too big, and my TWO pairs of pants that fit are getting too big, as well.

Well, he drove, and refused to stop anywhere. So this week I'm still here in too-big clothing, a bra that's who knows how many sizes too big and feeling frumpy and dumpy. :ack2:

Maybe in a couple of weeks I'll have time to go back and shop on my own...it's just hard to shop alone, for me, because I prefer to have someone with me to give an unbiased opinion. Guess I'll have to figure it out on my own....
 
For a discount on your membership, tell then you'd be happy to come in and open the place - to main your as a customer and the 3 other early birds...
 
you lose nothing by asking... but if their reason is that they don't have someone to open the place -welll you're offering... :D
 
Well, the biggest reason they may not go for it is probably a regulation thing...the little gym is part of the hospital...
 
maleficent said:
For a discount on your membership, tell then you'd be happy to come in and open the place - to main your as a customer and the 3 other early birds...
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You know Mal, I like the way you think - I was going to tell her the same thing - well didn't think of the discount though!
 
Another day, another rushed workout. The answer was a no...citing hospital regulations about an employee having to be there, so on and so forth. It was worth a try, though....thanks for the suggestion!!

I think I'm craving sugar. All my problems losing weight, and the blackouts and things, all tie in to the day I stopped eating as much. Before that time I had no trouble turning down a cookie...now, I can't walk by a plate of 'em without eating one. It's probably just a willpower implosion, but we'll see. I'm making my tea with sugar again, starting today. I feel like such a failure...guess we'll see if my "cravings" are physical or all mental. Especially since my mother-in-law made my husband a chocolate pecan pie to thank him for some stuff he did for her over the weekend. I'll need all the help I can get.

I'm also going to start saving as much a week as I can to buy an elliptical trainer for home, or a bike, and some weights. The husband has $800 stashed from a payment someone finally made to him for a vehicle they bought from him before we were together. He's insisting on using it to buy a trailer so we can haul lawn equipment to his mom's during the summer, and he and his brother can haul four wheelers (which they don't have) to ride at the lake at some point.

We were in Sears Saturday and walked by a display of fitness equipment. A Nordic Trak elliptical trainer, regularly $800 or $900, was on sale for $499. He won't spend the money on it, so I'll save it myself. Maybe I can get him to use it if it's at the house....

And the morning weights...aren't working. Too many people trying to use limited equipment all at one time. I don't want to cut my cardio lower to leave room for the weights, so I'll cram in what I can 'till we get our own.
 
Well that sucks about the regulations. Saving up for some equipment at home sounds like a good idea. I have a treadmill and an elliptical. I just started at the Y (got a membership through a silent auction to benefit our minister's wife.) And I'm sure when my 3 mo. are up that I won't be using the Y as I've got good cardio stuff at home, the only thing I'm missing is a good weight set. So I think I'll talk dh into that - he said he's got to update our "fitness center" at home since he is "competing" with the Y! ;)

It definitely helps to have equipment at home especially if you're going to use it. I am enjoying my days at the Y too - as my good peep (Bellaryna) is there.

Too bad your dh couldn't chip in 1/2 though.
 
I just worry that getting the equipment at home will have me making excuses...like "I'll do it later," or "I'll make it up Saturday." Maybe not, though, because daily workouts have become part of my routine, and it just feels weird to NOT do it.

I asked the husband last night if he'd use an elliptical, or a bike, if we bought one. He shrugged and said, "I don't know." So as of this week I'm saving $25 or $50 per week, 'til I have enough for a good elliptical. We'll see how long it takes.

I'm also dying to go shopping, but won't. Yet. I need to go buy new bras and things...but I may hold off on the rest for a while since my body's still changing a lot. I may break down and shop a lot this weekend, though.
 
MindiK said:
I just worry that getting the equipment at home will have me making excuses...like "I'll do it later," or "I'll make it up Saturday." Maybe not, though, because daily workouts have become part of my routine, and it just feels weird to NOT do it.

I asked the husband last night if he'd use an elliptical, or a bike, if we bought one. He shrugged and said, "I don't know." So as of this week I'm saving $25 or $50 per week, 'til I have enough for a good elliptical. We'll see how long it takes.

I'm also dying to go shopping, but won't. Yet. I need to go buy new bras and things...but I may hold off on the rest for a while since my body's still changing a lot. I may break down and shop a lot this weekend, though.
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But is it really as fun to get the gym at your own house? Don't get me wrong, I think it's a fantastic idea if you can save for it, but I found that I really enjoyed the time out of the house to do the exercising, and interacting with other people instead of before when I had that wretched bike in my basement.
 
True, LowFatMilk...there's something to be said about getting out of the house and getting a workout. That's what's gotten me up to GO to the gym on days I haven't felt like going...it's a trip out of the house, and one where someone's up early, opening the thing so I can go.

I guess part of me just hopes the husband will start using the equipment if it's there, too. He won't go to the gym because of serious anxiety issues (which he's working on). I've also read that exercise can help THOSE issues, as well.
 
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