Sophies diary

haha lena! i like to do new things each month :) this month its volleyball and badminton - i am really enjoying them atm. ive always wanted to do them so i tho0ught why not! i only get to live once.
so tonight i didnt get to play volleyball though cos there wasnt enough of us for teams. so me and my friend went for a 30 minute fast run to the next village and back. the back was all uphill - and it was bad cos its on the main road on the way back whereas going to the village is on a bridle path. so this means that you have to run because everybody can see you thats on the road lol. at least it kept me going. and then we got back to the centre a bit early so did 5 100m intervals and then went to circuits class. i did 45 mins circuits and now here i am. got a yummy tea coming up! chilli con carne folowed by fresh pineapple. i think pineapple is my favourite fruit. or maybe it is mango. fresh mango is such a pain in the ass to prepare though. does anybody know how it is possible to peel a mango without loosing half of the flesh into the bin due to me hacking at it?!
 
Hi Sophie - talk about running it off! I see you have been running around most of the West Midlands today :) I wish I had your energy!!! No ideas on mangos from me I'm afraid but I hear ya on the pineapple - soooo good! One of my favorite places to eat has a baked brie (okay bit naughty), chicken and pineapple sandwich. It's soooo good!! I always feel like I am eating lean protein and fruit so don't feel so bad about the brie :)
 
Done! It might be a bit squashed by the time it reaches you though and it might pong a bit after several days in transit!!!
 
thats a shame :( never mind eh.i might have to try and create one of those yummy sounding masterpieces though. so today ive got more fitness testing. which i dont want to do. ive got to to do the bleep test and anyone whos done it will tell you that after a while it hurts. and i hurt anyway cos its totm. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
arghhhh today is results day
today determines whether i continue my further education, what i do for the rest of my life
eeek
 
size zero makes me want to cry. not because i want to be there. i would never want to put my body under so much torture. just because so many girls are driven to want to be there. 90% of teenage girls believe they are overweight. one of my friends eats less than 500 calories per day and is obsessed with exercising. she must burn more than 500 calroies per day .. she is in a negative deficits. she wants to fit into the size zero jeans. thankyou topshop for introducing those. size 6 (US size 2) is no longer good enough for her. only english size four will do. she is destroying her body. is that really perfection?
her personality is also being destroyed in the process. she must be perfect - the fact that she believes she isnt is also destroying her beautiful personality.. bubbly em is gone. now all there is is this 6 stone shell. she has cuts up all of her arms which she says is from her rabbit. they are in a row - equal spaces between them. i went to her house for lunch and she gave me all of their food saying "take it take it we dont need it"
she wanted one of the plums to keep. i said do you want to it and she said yes. so i gave it to her and she told me it was two big. i cut it in half and it was still too big. i cut this plum in half another two times. she ate an eighth of the plum.
why cant they see that its not worth it.
nobody wants to look like this , im sure of it
it is just making me so angry. then you get jokers like this, oh yes arent you a big laugh .. people dont make the choice to become ike that .. its a mental illness - the choice they made was to fit into the box the world expects them to fit into .. if being size 20 was the fashion then im sure that over eating would become the fashion.
isnt it ironic how most designers want their models to be as light as a fair but then most of them are big podgy old men who eat as much as they like. they are getting rich off other peoples misery. they have the power to break this chain.. if they sent curvy models down the catwalk then all eating disorders would no longer be such a bigger problem.
i watched a film about it last night and there was a 12 year old girl who would not even drink water because she believed she would gain weight.
a 12 year old. i dont think i even stepped onto the scales for the first time til i was at least 14. it was so upsetting.
women are losing their feminity... osteoporosis and infertility doesnt sounds glamorous to me.
WHY CANT PEOPLE SEE IT :(
 
so i got my results today. I got a C in maths and a C in biology. I get my PE results tomorrow. In my maths paper I was only two makrs away from a B. I am satisfied with these results but not ecstatic. I needed B's really. I can carry on with my education though :)
 
Sophie335 said:
so i got my results today. I got a C in maths and a C in biology. I get my PE results tomorrow. In my maths paper I was only two makrs away from a B. I am satisfied with these results but not ecstatic. I needed B's really. I can carry on with my education though :)
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Hey Sophie! Congratulations! Those grades are good :) Don't dwell on needing the B's - glad you are satisfied. Just remember it's one more thing done - move on to the next thing now :) I did shockingly bad in my A-levels - C's would have been nice! but now I have gone through undergraduate and did waaay better and now am in grad school. :D Just keep up the hard work girl!
 
thanks rachie :) its nice to hear it from someone who knows the system and how hard the exams actually are!
i swear my parents think that it is just a small step from gcses :|
 
good for you

Its great that you 're continuing your education. We'd all like to get high marks but a pass is fine. You passed. And you'll continue to pass.

Good for you for being a friend to your girlfriend with the eating disorder. Maybe you can help her just by being there as a healthy example.
 
cheers kelly :) i know that you are right
so am going on a run in half an hour
tonight is long hill intervals. argh.
 
Yeah I found A-levels REALLY hard. GCSEs were cake, I didn't have to study and did really well. But A-levels were really difficult. It's hard to get into the style of learning. You've done well to get C's, that shows the hard work you are putting in. Sorry you didn't quite get that B but you'll know the exam style and studying a bit better next time and be able to push yourself up into the B's or maybe the A's - that would be cool! Like Happy Chubette said a pass is a pass!

I only just read your long post about your friend. That's so sad. One of my best friends at college battled bullemia, mainly before she came to college but she had a few relapses while we were there. She was so good at hiding it too. She arranged to meet me once to tell me she was doing it again and I was so proud of her for telling me. I felt so useless though, I didn't really know what to do and if what I was doing was right. She knew all the risks and just couldn't help herself. I hope I went some way to helping her, I did learn to recognize the signs that it might be happening again and helped as best I could. She never lost a dramatic amount of weight but she would yo-yo up and down. I am glad you are there for your friend but it must be very hard for you Sophie.
 
yeah i totally know what you mean when you say you felt helpless rachie. the only person that can help them is themselves and they just refuse to see it :(
on a lighter note i went for my run - even though my friend dropped out of going i still went!! wootwoot
i did 20 minutes medium run, 4x100m steep hill intervals and then 20 mins hard run back home
 
well done on the exams - anyone who cares about what they get deserves to make it :)

Eeek bit worrysome about your friend eating 500kcal. Its just not pretty when you're a skeleton at all!
 
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