Self-conscious about going to the gym?

[avi78]

So I know this is a little weird but I'm way too self-conscious to go to the gym.
So, I'm like a 6 foot 7 pole and have no muscle mass whatsoever. I would definitely like
to gain some muscle mass obviously but there is definitely no way I could do that without going
to the gym. I'm probably the weakest guy so I'm just afraid to go to the gym. I'm afraid everyone's going to look, especially since I'm so tall? The only one I know of is the one at school
and I don't want to run into anyone I know there.
So my question is how I can get over this. I mean it's been way too long, I'm 22 now and I need to get over my fear of the gym and start training but I really can't. Any suggestions?

 

[CrazyOldMan]

The only person who will care if you are the weakest in the gym is you. This is not intended to put you off but to make you understand no-one is going to care in a real gym.
I was tiny when I started as will many in most gyms have been. People who join gyms for the first time are rarely in the shape or condition they want to be, you will be in the majority.

Below is a real time account of what will likely happen to you in a new gym, based on you training alone and being sensible.

First few weeks. No-one speaks to you much as the regulars expect you to be one of the vast majority who start and quit soon after. You will start to find your feet and become more at ease with a beginners routine.
Next few weeks, you will start building confidence and realise there are others in the gym at your standard or maybe below. Initially these will be your circle of friends in the gym. Some of these will be oversize and envy you being naturally slim.
After a few months you will be recognised as a regular trainer and many will now talk to you freely, knowing you’re there to stay. You will likely find a few of them telling you they were just like you at the start. You will likely have gained confidence and may have moved onto the next style of session by this time.
After a few years you will be one of the people so intimidating to you now and look at newcomers the same way as the rest of us. Initially you'll be curious if they are going to stick to it, and after a while talk to them as kindred souls.

There are exceptions as below.
You aren't sensible. You decide to do an advanced workout style or weight that will at best result in muscle damage meaning you don't return or worst injury. Those talking to you will be trying to avoid this and think you won't last.
You choose the wrong type of gym. If you want to play with a lot of iron, don't go to your pretty polly health club, as I found out they don't like it. If you want to bounce about in lycra doing aerobics, don't join a body-builders gym. If you aren't sure go for a club that caters for the lot and play it by ear.
You aren't sociable yourself. If someone talks to you and you blank them, they will assume you wish to be left alone and do so. This is common gym courtesy, we accept not everyone wants to communicate during gym time.

 

[Spartacus Mars]

Think of me, today, brother. I've done a ton of cardio since the start of Spring, but today was my first day on the weights. Part of a beginner 5x5 program.

Day 1 of the program is to squat using an unloaded bar, bench press an unloaded bar, and row a very light bar.

In the normally quiet weights room were there huge French-speaking black guys, doing mad biceps curls, and clearly sniggering about me behind my back with my unloaded bar.

Moral of the story is: don't fret about anyone else in the gym. Each and every one of them started from a Day 1 day.

I mean, just look at this runt:

View attachment 5754

That skinny thing there eventually became Governor of California...

 

[Goldfish]

Everyone starts somewhere. The biggest, strongest, toughest guys in the gym, were probably as skinny as you are, once upon a time. Anyone who looks like they might have justified reason to mock you because of your current shape has been exactly where you are, in order to get to where they are.

A lot of people are afraid to start going to the gym because they look weak/skinny/fat/etc, but most of the people in the gym are weak/skinny/fat/etc and are there to do something about it. The trick is to leave both your ego and your insecurities at the door, do your unimpressive workout with your unimpressive weights, eat, sleep and repeat with slightly more weight/reps/sets next time.

If you were to start doing body weight squats today, and then start doing goblet squats with 2.5kg next week, 5kg the week after etc up to 17.5kg, and then start doing barbell squats with the empty bar the week after that, and again add 2.5kg/week, you would be lifting an unimpressive amount of weight for about 6 months, and yet after 6 months you'd be stronger and more muscular than you are today. Then you'd be doing your first squats with a full big-boy plate (20kg) on each side of the bar after about 6 months, and still casually adding weight each week. 30 weeks into lifting, you're now squatting 75kg. 40 weeks in, you're now squatting 100kg, through a full range of motion, for several reps! And after a full year of lifting and eating and adding an unimpressive load of 2.5kg/week onto that lift, you're now squatting 130kg, assuming you never run into problems with progression (which is likely to happen for most people, but happens far less when you underestimate your starting point, work on form and increase in miniscule increments). You wouldn't be able to sustain that sort of progress past the first year of training, but what I've just shown you is a seemingly unimpressive road to becoming one of the more impressive people in the gym, after only a year of training.

 

[fazahcrahn]

Other people care a lot less than you think.


If you're still not keen, you can start by doing bodyweight routines at home. This will help (minimally) to build a bit of strength and muscle, but if you want to see real results you'll need to get in the gym eventually. You can buy a set of dumbbells but make sure they're adjustable otherwise you'll have trouble using the same weight for every exercise.

You can search your area for less commercial gyms. Sometimes there are some small family owned ones tucked away somewhere that barely anyone uses and you can have the place to yourself. Or you could get a membership at a 24 hour gym and go late at night/early in the morning when it's less crowded. That's what I do. At peak hours it's a pain in the ass working my routine around other's routines.

But seriously, you need to leave your ego at the door. Everyone who's ripped was scrawny at one point.