Self-Awakening

MachinaCognitan

MachinaCognitan

New member
Well, I am new here and decided it would benefit me to get my thoughts into written form where I can look back at them and think more clearly about them.

I introduced myself in the Newbie section, but to recap:

-I am a 21yr old female college student in Greenville, PA
-In December 2007, I started out at 320 pounds
-As of today, 4/16/2008, I weigh 298, so I've lost 22 lbs so far.
- I am engaged (no date set..we are waiting to graduate in 6 months before we start planning - that and maybe I am weary because I want a hot wedding gown ;)

Anyway, I work out typically every day. My Monday, Wednesday, and Friday schedule is the most flexible, so I can dedicate up to 60 minutes at the gym. Tuesday and Thursday is a bit more laid back in the sense that my schedule is tight, so I fit in about 30. Saturdays and Sundays are normally free aside from homework, so depending on the weekend, we go anywhere from 60 minutes to 120 minutes.

I have a lot of muscle on me - I used to play basketball. I've noticed as I've been exercising, my legs are ROCK hard...I'm hoping they get smaller, but the muscle is pretty obvious.

Since I've always been on the heavy side, I came to the realization, oh, I don't know, 5 minutes ago since logging onto this site and reading some posts, that I have no idea what my target weight is. I have never been at my smallest, healthiest weight (aside from when I was too young to care), so I have no idea how much I could lose without looking sickly thin. I had initially set my goal to lose 100 lbs (to get to 198), but I realized that I might be able to get to 150 and still look healthy (I have a big bone structure). While that adds a lot more to work towards, at the same time, it opens up so many other doors that I never knew might be able to be opened. I thought that even losing the weight and getting healthy, as far as appearances go, I'd still be a big girl - but now I know that this might not be the case - and it's a lot to look forward to :).

I initially started my journey in December for a lot of reasons (The fact that I want to live a healthier life in general)...but one of my short-term goals was to lose close to 30 lbs before May 5th - when I will be boarding a plane to Europe to visit Germany, Austria, and Italy. I didn't want to worry about the seatbelt not fitting on the plane (I always need just 1 extra inch, and I'd be fine...it fits now, but feels like it's cutting off my circulation, lol). But I'm hoping the progress I've made will help, and if I could just lose 2-3 more lbs in the next 3 weeks before we leave, I'd be happy.

Anyway, I'm glad to be here, and I will try to update this diary regularly. Just getting all these thoughts out has helped immensely!!
 
Congrats on your current weight loss! That's lots of weight to lose :). You're in the right place! There's a lot of information in the stickied threads for you that'll likely change many ideas you have about weight loss (or they did for me). Don't worry yourself so much about the actual weight either, aim for what looks good on you :). And don't give up! You've already lost some weight , don't let that work go to waste!

What exactly are your eating habbits like?
 
Ah yes, eating habits! I knew I forgot to talk about something.


Well, I only drink water and skim milk. I cut out sodas and sugary drinks and stuff in December (which is when I lost my initial 5 lbs - just by switching to water!).

I eat a few veggies, but I have a real taste aversion to most fruits and vegetables. This is really frustrating for me because everyone says "eat lots of fruits and veggies!" A couple weeks ago when I was in my school cafeteria, I loaded my plate up with apples, carrots, broccoli, strawberries - and forced myself to try/eat them. I figured hey - I can acquire a taste for them. Well, not so much. I seriously have some kind of psychological aversion to them. I LOVE spinach, so that's a plus. I also love corn (with just a dash of salt, no butter) and potatoes, but those are more starchy I guess. Any suggestions for this?

I try to stick to lean proteins like chicken and turkey. Because I am a slave to my school cafeteria here at college, sometimes those are not always the choices so I have to improvise with things that fit into my daily allotted calorie count.

Also, my downfall is CHOCOLATE. I love it. However, I have been good at almost completely cutting it out. To get a little dose of it, I keep Hershey's 100 calorie packs hidden in a drawer if I'm SUPER craving it or if I'm close to my girly time of the month lol.

Do you have suggestions on how I can improve based on what I have available to me?


:)
 
Hello and welmcome to your diary. I am giong to start on the "wrong" froot, by telling you what I really think about fruit and veg aversions:

I think veg can taste amazing, you just need to know how to cook them! I have a friend who has an aversion to all things veg and fruit, she eats almost exclusively pasta, meats of all sorts and her one and only veg is the potato.

I do think however that this is a mix of picky-ness with real aversion. What do you dislike about fruit and veg? Taste? There are like 7 gazillion different tastes to them... Texture? You an cook them to be smoother, or you can eat them raw to be crunchier...
I found that a lot of people who say "I don't like xxx" (insert broccoli, cauliflower, etc..) have not really experimented with them enough. If your mom pvercooked your broccoli and made it taste like underwear does not mean you have to eat it that way! My man's mom makes the most disgusting broccoli I have ever tried, mushy and overcooked.
My own one is crunchy, steamed just enough time to feel just right, with some olive oil, salt and pepper... the most delicious thing ever! The man disliked broccoli before trying it my way!

I think you should take your time to experiment, you don;t have to like all veg at once, but they are so important and you being only 21 you can't give them up! Weight loss will be very VERY difficult if you don't eat fresh fruit and veg!
So go one veggie at a time and try it with different things, even if it initially helps, dip that broccoli in ketchup! Everything in ketchup tastes the same and then wean yourself off the ketchup!
Or make a soup with veggies in it, but with chicken broth, so everything sorta tastes like chicken!
Or make your own strawberry, banana smoothie (innocent that is, without milk, just strawberries, one banana and O-juice)! Yum!

I am very restricted in what I am allowed to eat (by my Dr.s), so I have come to experiment with lots of new things, and even the ones that I thought were pretty yuck turned out to be (with some herbal magic) amazing! Today I discovered Quinoa, and finally I have found a subtitute for the couscous I am not allowed anymore! First I thought Quinoa looked yuck, but then with just the right amount of salt and vinaigrette... OMG delicious!

Also in europe... especially in Italy they have the most splendid tomatoes... if you could get yourslf to eat them your eyes would pop out! Honestly! My man is italian, I know what I am talking about!

OK, enough of me and my veg addiction... I honestly hope you can get yourself over the veg thing and that you continue with your weight loss... you seem to have done amazing this far!
Camy
 
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Your advice is very helpful, but I am on a Private College student's budget, so I don't have the luxury yet to cook my own meals or prepare things the way I might like. While I would like to try some of your suggestions, I deal with cafeteria food daily and I must just not like their preparation of things.

I will try some of your ideas about eating fruits and vegetables in different things and weaning away any additions.

As far as cooking my own stuff - well, that will have to wait. I do like tomatoes though, I should have mentioned that. I am, after all, Italian as well.


Thank-you!
 
Welcome!! I'm pritty new too, and I love this board! There is so much great information and people! We are all on this journey together and we can do it!!!
There is a club for people in your/our weight range, in the club section of this site, you should check it out if you want too. It feels good to know your not alone... Anyway welcome and congrats on your current weight loss!!!:party:



Hope2 (get to know you better:) )
 
Oh sorry, I had no inkling of how american colleges work... I mean here we oftentimes have food offered from halls (which would be dorms for you), but we still get our kitchen, and we can make meals every now and then.
I am a college student (postgraduate) and I now, after so many years of college, cook my own food every day, except for lunch times right now (I am having exams for the next 2 weeks).
It is much harder to eat correctly and obviously impossible to experiment, while you are getting all your food cooked! I give you that! When I lived in catered halls I put on some weight (I put on much more when I moved into self-catered and ate tons of crap, gotta say though! Because at least when someone else cooks, there is some kind of warm meal, while when nobody cooked... I would sometimes just eat sweets and choc and whatnot!).

So sorry if I sounded aggressive in my former post, it is just that so many people say "I can't do/eat that" and it is just because they have never properly tried! Albeit there are some people who have issues with texture etc... and actually can't eat certain veggies!
Ok, well have a great day, Camy
 
It's alright! I'd love to be able to cook my own stuff. To kind of make up for the fact that I don't have the best food choices available, I have been doubling my activity level. Now that the weather here is finally turning into spring, on top of usual gym workouts, my fiance and I have been taking walks and playing catch in the evenings, which is nice.

I do have problems with some textures of veggies. Like tomatoes for instance. I love them diced, but if I try to eat them whole, I get ridiculously grossed out. It's the same for a few other things, but I am learning. It's a slow process - the whole weight-loss business for that matter. But it's nice to have support and helpful advice from you and others! :)
 
I went for a 50 minute brisk walk in our hilly park, enjoyed our 70 degree weather, got some sun, and came back to do jumping jacks, jump rope, and work with my free weights. I feel great and I just had to yak about it. Fridays are normally the hardest day for me to get motivated because it's my day off (from school AND work), so I normally get to sleep in. I only slept in til 8AM today though and I hit the trail - and it was so worth it!

I met an older gentleman on the trail, named Bob, and he said how impressed he was to see someone so young working so hard to be healthy. He explained that he'd been heavy all his life and that obesity ran genetically in his family - but that he's been fighting it. He walks every day for an hour and a half. It was so nice to talk to him and he really inspired me - as do so many of you, here!

I hope everyone has a great Friday!!

<3
 
Hello,

I just wanted to say good job on what you have done so far. Some positive changes are being made it seems. You seem to have the same issue as my wife when it comes to fruits and vegetables. She has severe texture issues with foods. The good thing is that several kinds she enjoys. We just buy what she likes and eats those 5 kinds forever. What I mean is you should continue to try as many as you can and there has to be several you will like. Take supplements if you are not getting all the nutrients you need though.

Good luck and great start so far.
Congratulations on you engagement.
 
I have considered taking some supplements even as I continue to experiment. Are there certain ones that anyone here would recommend? I've checked out the vitamin and supplement aisles at my pharmacy, and the different kinds seem to be endless - so any advice would be awesome!

I am really dedicated to a healthier lifestyle, and my stupid aversion to taste or texture or whatever (Or maybe fear!) of fruits and veggies is something that bothers me every day. While learning to like new things has been slow, it's really important to me because I want this time to be the LAST time I ever say "Enough is enough, I am too unhealthy and fat". I want to learn the critical things NOW while I am young enough to make them habitual.

Thank-you to everyone who has made suggestions thus far - I appreciate it more than you know!
 
A good multi vitamin is a must.
short of that I do not know. What is your diet lacking?

It is important to 'learn' to like foods. To use my wife as an example again- I have no food aversions! :D- there were many things that she learned to love in the first year or so of us living together. Her mother is a cook who believes in bland so she never had anything with flavor so never know how things could taste.
I also believe that taste is something you refine over your life. You are still young and will get there. Keep trying things and you will hit on things you like.
 
Congrats on your loss so far and welcome to the site!

Do you have a salad bar in your dining halls? I know at my school we do (I'm a 20-year-old college student and struggle with dining food as well). If you do, start off your lunches and dinners with a spinach salad since you like that! Top it with shredded carrots or mushrooms or something, so eat the things you aren't as happy with along with something you like. Also, having your dressing on the SIDE is a good thing to do.. just dip your lettuce/salad and you'll still get enough flavor but you won't be drowning yourself in dressing calories.

Have you considered getting some healthy(ish) chocolate, melting it, and dipping fruit into it? If you don't use too much chocolate (same thing as with the dressing) it'll still be chocolate since you love that so much, and yummy fruits for you too without an overwhelming fruit taste since you aren't so keen on that. Moderation on things like the chocolate is key, and it sounds like you know that already, so keep it up :)

Congrats on getting a bit of exercise every day, that's so awesome!
 
My diet is mostly lacking more fruits and vegetables. I am big on whole grain stuff, I drink a ton of water.

RadiantPebble, we DO have a salad bar that I have been definitely relying on. I actually learned to like carrots that way because of way they have them sliced really thin (as you mentioned!). I normally put onions on it as well. Lately I've been trying broccoli, too. It's slow, but I'm starting to get used to/expect the taste so I might have a new vegetable in my repertoire.

Full tomatoes I am still struggling with. Diced I'm OK with, so I sometimes eat tomatoes.

I will definitely need to tackle fruit next. I have been focusing on incorporating veggies and forgot about fruit. Fortunately, I like bananas, so I need to start eating them. My fiance is terribly allergic to them though so mentality I made myself allergic to them, too. lol!

But your advice is great - especially dipping fruit in some low-cal chocolate sauce. I will let you know how that goes!!!
 
I feel good today. Last night, my fiance and I went to our hilly nature trail behind our school. At my current weight, 296, walking hills gets me out of breath still. However, I jogged! And I sustained for up to a minute. I know at my weight, that is quite a feat. I don't feel like I should be as heavy as I am, and I certainly don't LOOK like I should weigh 296. I'm starting to think that my muscular, shapely legs with hardly any jigglies on them have a lot to do with my high weight. But who knows, I am still not completely educated in the anatomy of muscles and fat, so. Most importantly, I think that when I work up the momentum, I'm going to be a runner. I love the way running feels, and whenever I exercise, I have the urge to run. I wouldn't dare in the gym, all the skanky, skinny dancers could croak at the sight of ME running. So. LOL.

Anyway, that is my update for today. Must make good food choices!


Good luck to everyone else today!
 
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