My leg felt better after yesterday's hot tub. I got right up against the jets, up and down my leg and I did it again today. I'll continue to stretch it using my foam roller.
Today was not good food-wise. It was definitely a binge day. I've come to the conclusion that there's no way out of this unless I either white-knuckle it or try to reduce it gradually. I think it'll be the latter option but I don't really know what exactly I should be reducing. The carbs are the more dangerous and put me in a stupor the next morning. I've been tracking everything including my macros so I'm going to go back and look at my binge days and look at the amount of carbs and fat I ate to get an idea of the level I reach that satisfies my cravings and then reduce it gradually from there. It's going to be high, I know. Psychologically too, I have to prepare myself for the idea that I will never ever again binge, in any situation. I will have to cope in other ways and I'm going to find more supports and list out things I can do instead of eating. I don't know if I've wrapped my head around the concept that I won't binge. I've had running it off in the back of my mind many many times. Well, that thinking needs to go whether or not I run hard. I'm caught right now especially because I can't run but I know long-term I can't binge anymore - at all - if I want to have a normal relationship with food again. I may relapse but that'll be the mindset - it'll be a relapse - and I'll try again and again and again until I get it. That'll have to be how it works. Like I'm treating an addiction and right now, weaning myself off. I just feel like I'm at a point where I have to address it because I don't want to keep living it. There will be a place for sweets and maybe cheat days and occasional indulgences but all of these things will be within much more normal bounds. This is a result of the fucking medication I physically dependent on. I was not addicted to food prior. So, I'll work on this plan and then implement starting November 1.
I swam for about 30 minutes today. My weight has been going up fast because I'm not running and the above issue is taking over. This is the end of day 8 of rest off of my leg. I can feel the injury still but it seems better. It could be too that the hot tub has temporarily made it feel better. I'll probably try to line up a doctor's visit if no progress is made with foam rolling and the hot tub. 5k steps, 2.5k calories out.
Today was not good food-wise. It was definitely a binge day. I've come to the conclusion that there's no way out of this unless I either white-knuckle it or try to reduce it gradually. I think it'll be the latter option but I don't really know what exactly I should be reducing. The carbs are the more dangerous and put me in a stupor the next morning. I've been tracking everything including my macros so I'm going to go back and look at my binge days and look at the amount of carbs and fat I ate to get an idea of the level I reach that satisfies my cravings and then reduce it gradually from there. It's going to be high, I know. Psychologically too, I have to prepare myself for the idea that I will never ever again binge, in any situation. I will have to cope in other ways and I'm going to find more supports and list out things I can do instead of eating. I don't know if I've wrapped my head around the concept that I won't binge. I've had running it off in the back of my mind many many times. Well, that thinking needs to go whether or not I run hard. I'm caught right now especially because I can't run but I know long-term I can't binge anymore - at all - if I want to have a normal relationship with food again. I may relapse but that'll be the mindset - it'll be a relapse - and I'll try again and again and again until I get it. That'll have to be how it works. Like I'm treating an addiction and right now, weaning myself off. I just feel like I'm at a point where I have to address it because I don't want to keep living it. There will be a place for sweets and maybe cheat days and occasional indulgences but all of these things will be within much more normal bounds. This is a result of the fucking medication I physically dependent on. I was not addicted to food prior. So, I'll work on this plan and then implement starting November 1.
I swam for about 30 minutes today. My weight has been going up fast because I'm not running and the above issue is taking over. This is the end of day 8 of rest off of my leg. I can feel the injury still but it seems better. It could be too that the hot tub has temporarily made it feel better. I'll probably try to line up a doctor's visit if no progress is made with foam rolling and the hot tub. 5k steps, 2.5k calories out.
The median amount of carbs on binge-days is about 416 grams and for fat it's 279g. 33 binge days out of 180 since May 1, 2019. That's about 18% binge days or 1 in every 5 days. Yes, this is a major problem for me.
