(Re)new Journey

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Most probably it will be fluid retention kakes & will go away soon. Have a day or 2 without any bread & see if you feel better. Sending you a big hug sweetie xoxo
 
Thanks for the advice LaMaria and Cate. Luckily I am feeling better today. It was odd, a few days of feeling very bloated but human bodies are strange. I hadn't had any bread, pasta, or anything so I'm not sure where it came from. At any rate, I'm glad to be feeling better.

This weekend, we are supposed to have beautiful weather, and for that I am really grateful! Yesterday I went to the gym (45 minutes elliptical, 5 minutes Jacob's Ladder, 10 min abs, and 2 different leg machines). Today I am planning on getting in a good run. My internal clock woke me up at 6:45 (the normal time I wake up for work) even though it's Saturday. I have to run an errand but the place doesn't open until 10. Since it's just about 8am, I think I'll head out to run now, before it gets too hot! I am not a morning person so I'm hoping I'm awake enough to do well. After that, I'll run my errand and then have the rest of my day free.

Off I go. Have a wonderful day, everyone!
 
I'm so glad that I got my run in early this morning, because it is a hot one! It was about 70 degrees when I ran this morning (ran 4 miles then walked 2) and that was hot enough. Felt really great to get a good sweat in. I ran some errands and picked up some grocery items that I needed, specifically turkey burgers. I have a hard time finding them in some of the stores around me. I usually stock up when I find them. After that, I hung by my family's pool for a little bit. The pool isn't totally ready yet... it still needs to be cleaned. But, it makes for a good backdrop. :)

145.2 on the scale today so hopefully I am getting rid of some of that 'bloaty' feeling from earlier this week. I certainly feel slightly less bloated. I did some googling on if other people sometimes feel heavier when they start lifting weights and it seems that a lot of people do. I even came across an article written by a personal trainer (I feel like everyone is a personal trainer these days) and she was saying that a lot of her female clients often get discouraged when they first start lifting weights because they sometimes gain weight first. While I take everything I read on the internet with a grain of salt, it makes sense that building muscle will cause weight gain but then once you have more muscle, you will burn fat easier. That's what I got out of the article at least!

Tomorrow is Father's Day and I think I am headed over my grandparents' house with most of my family (aunts, uncles, and cousins). We will have a cookout (as we do most Sundays during the summer). My grandmother is one of my biggest supporters and always tells me how good I am looking lately. It is a real confidence booster. I stopped by her house today and she told me that one of my aunts is bringing turkey burgers tomorrow! That made me so excited because I won't be the only one opting for one of those. I had actually planned to bring my own but now I don't have to! I'm sure we will also have salad and hopefully a few other healthy choices. Usually there is pasta or potato salad as well, but I won't be having any of that. Also a big change from last year... no soda for me. Water only!

Yesterday I was messaging with a friend who told me she had McDonalds for dinner. We got to talking about fast food and I said I hadn't had any in 3 months and I don't want to have any anytime soon. I remember the feeling of that type of food just sitting in my stomach like a rock. I never want to have that feeling again. I much prefer the feeling of healthy food. It goes down much easier and doesn't make me feel lethargic and gross. I also don't miss the feeling of being so incredibly full. Now, I eat until I feel satisfied, but never FULL. It has made such a big difference in my life! I'm not saying I will never have fast food again in my life. If I do, it will be a realistic portion and not a binge, that's for sure.

I am very excited for this upcoming week because I am going on a vacation! Tuesday thru Saturday morning, I will be staying on Cape Cod with a friend. It will be really nice to get away from home for a few days and enjoy the beach. I'm slightly nervous for what my eating and exercise routine will be, but I know I need to try my darnedest to stay on track. A vacation is a vacation but I don't want to use it as an excuse to be lazy. I wrote about this a few weeks ago and I am feeling slightly better about the situation. I feel more in control. I will be sure to do food shopping on Tuesday so that we will have good food for the week and won't have the urge to order or eat out every day. Going out to eat once will not kill me. Also if I want to drink alcohol, I will be sure to keep it limited and make good choices with that too. Lastly, we both like to run so I'm sure we will squeeze a few solid runs into our plans. I also wouldn't mind finding a hiking or walking trail. I would add swimming into the mix but that Cape water is still going to be frigid!! Overall feeling excited for some time away but need to remember to keep myself in check!
 
Yay for grandmothers! Also yay for supportive family members in general and healthy food options at family functions. I love how completely you´re on board with your healthy lifestyle.
 
Thanks, LaMaria! I definitely have just dived into this full force and I am doing my best to stay the course. This is a lifestyle change but it requires making choices every single day.

Speaking of choices, I have made some great ones day. My plans for Father's Day changed slightly. I went out to lunch with my Dad and my sister at about noon. We went to a local diner and I ordered a salad. I could have easily gotten something ridden with a lot of calories, but I knew it wouldn't be worth it. We also didn't get ice cream, for which this place is well-known. I wasn't inclined to get some myself, but I knew if someone else got some, I would have been tempted. After that, I went to my grandparents' house, where they hadn't eaten lunch yet. They were doing a cookout and since I had just eaten, I didn't eat anything. Last summer, I probably would have picked at some food (potato salad, chips, etc.) but today I managed to just sit and chat and not be tempted by any picky foods. The one thing I did eat was fruit for dessert! The other option for dessert was chocolate eclairs. I don't like them but I DO like the chocolate icing on top. I wanted to just lick the icing off, but of course I didn't.

It feels very empowering to be strong enough to resist these temptations. I am not perfect and sometimes I do/will slip up. But for today, I dodge a lot of bullets and for that I am very proud of myself. While I know I have a lot way to go until I reach my healthiest body, the choices I made today have gotten me just a few steps closer.

I am going to charge my phone for a bit, then I will be headed to the gym. Hoping to get in 45 minutes of cardio, some abs, and weight machines- both arm and legs. On Mondays (tomorrow) I usually do step class but I will be meeting up with a friend for dinner. Again with the temptations! I normally would have turned her down for dinner but since I am going to be away this week and she is going on vacation as soon as I get back, we decided to squeeze it in tomorrow. Wherever I go, I will choose a healthier option. I have to practice my self control and be smart with my choices. Since I won't be able to make it to step class, I will either run or go to the gym at some point. My family's pool is now up and running so I can add swimming to my options now, too!
 
Thank you, Cate! It is amazing what kind words from a "stranger" can do for one's self esteem. I can't thank you enough for being so supportive!

I just got back from the gym... 30 minutes on the elliptical, 30 minutes walking ever so slightly above my normal pace (but on a 2.0 incline), 2 one-minute planks, and 5 different machines for legs/arms. I decided to do more cardio tonight (instead of abs) because I still have a lot of belly fat to lose and I read that ab exercises can only do so much when it comes to belly fat. Still have to get that cardio in!

Now I am home, showered, and about to do some things around the house to get ready for my one day work week!!! I was just thinking how I am so much more able to relax and focus once I have exercised for the day. Exercise is now such a part of my life and I think I would feel a bit lost without it.

Something that I NEED to do in the coming weeks is visit a nutritionist. I am so utterly lost when it comes to eating. I have made some HUGE changes in my eating habits (no fast food, very limited eating out, no soda, very limited sweets, limited carbs/dairy, etc.) and those changes have been great. However, I want to know how many calories I should be consuming per day. I think I do really well with my choices but when I log my calories, sometimes the small amount scares me a bit. I don't usually go hungry during the day, as I eat every few hours. But, sometimes I think I should be eating a bit more. I know everyone has that 'sweet spot' in terms of the amount of calories they should consume, and I am dying to know what mine is. I think it will ease my mind a bit and give me a guide for my meals. That is certainly on my "to-do" list for the first part of my summer when I am not working.

I am off to do some laundry and clean up a bit. Hope everyone has a wonderful evening!
 
Seeing a nutritionist sounds like a good idea, especially if you grew up surrounded by unhealthy role models. And eating out with friends is important! Just shouldn´t be more than once or twice a week nor end in a massacre. You can do this though, and I´m even convinced you´ll learn how to stick to a healthy amount of calories while still enjoying your food and life.
 
Visiting a nutritionist is a great idea. I saw one after I lost weight & also an exercise physiologist. Subsequently, I upped my intake of healthy oils (avocado & olive oil) & felt more confident about my food choices. You're welcome to my support kakes xoxo
 
Well, yesterday was not my best day with eating. I would much rather just not mention my slip ups, but I think it's necessary to get the whole picture and not try and pretend like I'm perfect. For breakfast I had my usual- hard boiled eggs (2) and blueberries. I then had a banana for a snack and all was right in the world. Then, we had a luncheon at work and the choices were salad, calzones, and pizza. I took salad first and REALLY tried to resist the temptations of the rest. However, I had one small piece of cheese pizza. It was the smallest piece and I was honestly glad I resisted the calzone. I also was thinking about having a cookie but I managed to stay away from those.

Then I went out to eat with my friend and I got a margarita and a shrimp stir fry. The meal was from the 'lighter portions' of the menu but I believe it said the calories were 590. I suppose I could have done much worse damage (i.e. burger, french fries, pasta, etc.) but not my best choice. I honestly was just sick of salads and needed a break.

When I got home, I rushed around to get ready so I could run before it got dark. I managed to run a 5k. While I am proud of myself for getting my exercise in, I know that no amount of exercise can offset a crappy diet. Since I make good choices MOST of the time, I can start new today and continue on with this journey.

In a little bit, I am headed off to Cape Cod until Saturday! Hoping to make good choices with my food and also hoping to get some exercise in. I know I can do it.

145.6 on the scale both yesterday and today. That scale has really been stubborn since right after I hit 147 (25 pound loss). Trying to inch my way closer to the 130s but they still seem so far away. Just need to keep on track with my eating and exercise and it should be here before I know it. It has been a little more difficult to stick to "the plan" with more activities and things this summer so far but I think I am hanging in there. Hopefully I will have good things to report when I get home on Saturday.

Have a wonderful week everyone!
 
Hang on... So your breakfast was 2 eggs and some blueberries (around 200 kcal). Lunch a salad with a small piece of cheese pizza (having to guess here because I don´t know what dressing you had and what was in the salad other than lettuce but certainly no more than 600 kcal from the sound of it; more likely 400) and dinner a shrimp stir-fry (600 kcal)? O, and snacks: a banana and a margarita (around 300 kcal combined). That´s 1500-1700 kcal combined. Scrap that margarita and you have a perfect day, although high in sodium.
 
Kakes- if they were slip ups your good days must be exceptionally good. Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie. You are doing very well. Enjoy your weekend xoxo
 
Have fun on your trip Kakes...one of my dreams is to visit Cape Cod...actually, one of my biggest dreams is to own a beautiful Cape Cod/Hampton's style home...hahaha, one can dream.

Your food choices will remain sensible because you are a changed person...don't let a few slip ups damp on your whole progress...have fun, keep active...have some ice-cream if you must, finding a balance is KEY to long term success.

Xoxo
 
Thank you LaMaria, Cate, and CaliGirl.... it was an awesome week! I don't think I went crazy with my food choices while I was away, but I certainly didn't eat the way that I have been eating at home. We ended up going out a good amount but I tried my best to make decent choices. I also was aware of my portion control. I think that's what saved me. I just got home and weighed myself... 143.1. I am shocked. I thought for sure I would gain weight while I was away, not lose any. I don't remember what I weighed at the beginning of this week but I had been hovering between 145 and 147 for a few days. In fact, I felt like the scale was stuck for a good two weeks (could have been my imagination though, as it's difficult to keep track!). Maybe these past few days away was just what I needed.

Now I am home and ready to get myself back on track. If I lose 1 more pound, I will be at a 30 pound loss since the beginning of April. That 142 will be so exciting to see on the scale. More important than that, however, is how I felt while I was on this trip. I sent a message to my friend during the week that said "Life is so much better when you don't have to carry around an extra 30 pounds." I can't believe that my weight was once 184. That is actually 40 pounds heavier than I am now and just a mere year ago. I cannot even wrap my head around that.

The absolute best part of the vacation was the lack of what I call "chub rub," aka chaffing of the legs. Sorry if this topic is a bit personal but I feel like a lot of overweight people must deal with this problem, too. It is horrible, especially in the summer. In past summers, I would have to be sure to wear certain clothing (i.e. capris, long pants, shorts under a dress, etc.) when I knew that I would be walking a decent amount. Otherwise, it would be very painful for me. This week, I wore whatever I wanted to and I did not get chub rub! We walked a lot in town, to the beach, on the beach, etc. and it was not a problem at all. Also, I was on the beach, wearing shorts and a tank top, walking all around, not even thinking about my weight or how I felt. Truly an amazing feeling for someone who has felt so self conscious for so long. It is also great to feel like I "blend in" more with "regular" sized people. I don't think there is such thing as "normal" but I did not feel like I stood out in terms of my size. In other words, I don't think people would look at me and think that I was severely overweight anymore. All I want is to be and look comfortable in my own skin, and I am on my way to reaching the peak of that. Or at least it feels like I am. I feel so much more free. I feel so much happier.

I got some good news while I was away. My doctor's office (endocrinologist) called and offered me an earlier appointment. My appointment was not until July so this is almost a whole month earlier. I have PCOS (hormone imbalance) and I have not been treating it. If you know anything about PCOS, you know that it is typical for us to struggle to lose weight. I am not sure what I did to deserve this, but I have managed to beat those odds so far. I certainly am working very hard, but I've known women to do exactly what I am doing and still not lose anything. I am so thankful that that's not happening to me. Anyway, I am excited to see this doctor on Monday. I have not yet been to this doctor, but I have been to this office, so they will be able to tell me what I weighed the last time I was in. That was probably close to 3 years ago. Although I am not currently having trouble losing the weight, I do want to transfer over this lifestyle so that I am taking care of my body in every way. Seeing this doctor will certainly be a step in the right direction.

I am off to enjoy some time at my family's pool. I am not ready for my vacation to end, but then again I don't have to work again until July 5th! I have responsibilities and things I should be doing but I have been working hard and deserve some down time to enjoy this beautiful weather. I think I will TRY to go for a run when it starts to cool off tonight, but no promises. :)
 
It's me again! Got back from my run a little while ago. I managed to run 4 miles and then walk almost 2. I started out feeling really powerful... like an actual runner! It's amazing how far I have come with my running in only a few months. Really proud of myself. The last mile was a little tough for me but then I remembered that it's been nearly a week since the last time I ran so I cut myself some slack and was happy that I was even back on track.

Some clarification about the PCOS thing I mentioned earlier (it is weighing heavy on my mind lately). The weight loss (or lack of) is not a symptom that I am looking for help with at this time. In fact, there are a few other symptoms of PCOS that I am currently struggling with and I need to get them under control. I was hoping that losing weight would help me with them, but I have not seen any improvements. I am greatly looking forward to getting the ball rolling at my appointment on Monday!

Lastly before I sign off for the night... as I was running tonight and reflecting on my amazing week, I wished there was a way for me to thank myself for making the choice to change my life. That might sound funny but I wish I could send myself a fruit basket or something haha. I just am so glad that I decided to improve my life. It has made such a big difference in the last few months and I can't wait to see what happens in the future. Even small things, like being able to walk around in the heat, being able to eat in front of someone and not feel so self conscious, etc., can be life-changing! I guess the best way for me to "thank" myself is to keep pushing myself to be better every day. I am not expecting my losing weight to change every aspect of my life that needs changing, but it is certainly a start to change a few!
 
The changes you have made are life changing Kakes & I get your point absolutely. I am very proud of the changes I have made to my lifestyle. We should never underestimate what we are doing & have done. Well done, hon xoxo
 
I LOVE that post. And wouldn't it be fun to actually get yourself a basket of goodies? Set a budget (size: person I like very much who's been helping me out a lot lately) and go shopping for things you wouldn't normally buy. Then wrap them up nicely (or decorate your kitchen counter with them) and enjoy :)
 
Woah, am I sore! Taking last week off from (formal) exercise has really done me in. Since I got home on Saturday, I've done a solid amount of exercise and my body is feeling it today. Saturday: 4 mile run/2 mile walk, Sunday: 5.25 mile walk, Monday: 2.6 mile walk/15 min stair master, 15 min indoor rower, 10 minute abs, and 5 machines for arms/legs. Although I feel good about my exercise, my food intake hasn't been the best. Still sticking to my normal foods but somehow other foods keep sneaking into my mouth!

Yesterday my parents ordered pizza and I said I wasn't having any. I ate my turkey burger and some vegetables and was satisfied. I was proud that I'd chosen the healthier option. That was until about an hour later when I went into the kitchen and couldn't resist a piece. I'm happy I only ate one piece, but still. I would have preferred to have none! I suppose I'm only human. I also recently bought this spicy salsa that is so good. I like to have it as a snack but of course I want to eat it with tortilla chips. I did buy the multigrain chips but they still have carbs. I am trying to not go crazy and eat them only in moderation. Lastly, my parents went to a wedding on Sunday and brought home some candy. I keep picking at it and can't stop. A few pieces of chocolate here and there... yikes!

I also recently haven't been as much into vegetables. I would much rather eat fruit but I know that I need to eat both to maintain a healthy diet. This balanced diet thing is quite difficult to maintain, that's for sure. I DO think that I am doing a decent job of avoiding some major triggers of fast food, soda, etc. so that's a plus.

Yesterday I had my appointment with my endocrinologist. I was looking forward to it but it was actually pretty anticlimactic. The nurse took my blood pressure and exclaimed that I had "the blood pressure of a runner." Ummm, I don't think she knows how happy that comment made me!!! She also was looking at my chart and noticed that I had lost 6 pounds since the last time I had been to the doctors in their network. She asked me if I had been sick and if that's how I lost weight. I made sure to tell her how hard I had been working to lose the weight and she said that I should be proud of myself. The doctor then came in and we discussed some options with treating my PCOS but weight did not come up in the conversation at all. It's funny because the last time I was in that office (3 years ago), my weight was certainly discussed as being a factor. I feel like every time I go to the doctors, my weight was brought up. At the end of the conversation, she did ask me if my weight had been steady and I informed her that I have lost close to 30 pounds in the last 3 months. She is not the warm and fuzzy type of lady, but she definitely seemed pleased.

Today I am having a VERY lazy day. I am off from work this week and I am feeling very uninspired and bored. I am about to get dressed and head to the gym for a class. I think I need an organized exercise experience today, or else I might just not get it done. The scale is up to 144.3 today and I'm hoping it is just water retention from being sore. I really wanted to be down close to 140 by the end of June. Doesn't look like I'm going to quite make it but it's not the end of the world. Just need to keep pushing myself and the results will come. No matter what, though, I feel great about all the progress and changes I have made so far. It makes me just keep wanting MORE!
 
Isn´t it funny how doctors are all over your weight when it´s not ok and hardly mention it when it is? It´s the same everywhere, I guess. Congrats on the BP! Moderation is hard, it really is. I´m still hoping I´ll manage it some day though :p
 
Doctors! :svengo:Cate, pretending she is your doctor.......
"Oh, well done kakes. A 30 lb loss is extraordinary considering you have PCOS. You should be very proud of yourself for taking responsibility for your health & well-being. I see also that your BP is excellent & is comparable to that of a runner. I tell most people what they are doing wrong, but most take no notice. I am very impressed! Keep up the good work! "
:D In a perfect world...
I am very impressed kakes. Well done you! xoxo Cate
 
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