Project Rox

Hey lady! I LOVE those boots. My friend and I call them F--- me boots! LOL!

Sounds like you are doing fabulous as usual! I'm curious to hear how your night out went at the club.

I'm in the same boat as you lately - pretty happy with just maintaining - even though I still wanted to lose a little bit more. One day when we are ready, we'll get there, right? RIGHT!!!
 
Hi! I haven't been around for ages and I've been having fun toady trying to catch up with all the diaries!

It looks like there has been progress and frustration for everybody...which seems normal!

I'm a bit frustrated, as I am having trouble losing more weight. I do great for a few days, then I sabotage myself with too many treats and too much laziness. So, I'm just managing to maintain...
I guess I'm ok with that for now, though. I suspect i'll lose the weight when I feel ready. I already find it kind of strange to weigh 139 lbs. I still find it hard to judge what size of clothes to buy. Just yesterday I tried on a size 10 skirt in a shop. Of COURSE it was huge and of course I needed a size 6. But size 6 just still seems too tiny to me- it's what my 13 year old daughter wears, for pete's sake! Crazy!
So, I think I still have self-image issues to address.

In the meantime- here's the skirt...along with a new pair of cute boots (well- I bought them secondhand, but they're new to me!) This is what I'm going to wear tonight to the club....

As for the details of my last visit there....I'll have to share that another time. It was HOT!
 
LOVE the outfit!!! I think it's great that you are having fun, having treats, and STILL maintaining!

I know what you mean about having a self image issue to deal with. I feel the same. When I look at clothes I seem to pick stuff out that's size 10 to 12, when really I wear a 6 now. I even have a pair of size 4 jeans! Of course they are skin tight, but I can get them on and can actually breath sufficiently.

When you have some time, would enjoy hearing about all the fun you have clubbing!

Take care lady!
 
It's so great to haer from you guys! And thanks for the compliments!

As for the details of my crazy sex life- I'm more than happy to share with you girls! I certainly can't tell any of this to my IRL pals. They would FREAK!

Before I tell all, though, just let me add this disclaimer for anyone randomly wandering through my diary:
If you are under age 18 and/or shocked by wild, promiscuous, deviant sexual activity, leave right now. Otherwise you will be completely traumatized and have to go through years of psychotherapy to recover. Thank you for your attention.

So- in the last installment of the sexual soap opera that I call my life, April 14 was the date I was planning (very nervously) to attend a gangbang at a sex club. Strictly as an observer, I hasten to add!
I dressed up in a not too slutty fashion and went to the club without A. (the rather jealous guy I'd been going to the club with previously). The owner, JL, was happy to see me and said he'd be sure that no guys bothered me.... I was just an observer. right?
Like the UN in a war zone.
Well, what happened was that there was this woman there dressed up in an adorable sexy police uniform. She turned out to be a dominatrix and quite interested by me. I won't go into detail...but she encouraged me to go ahead and live out my fantasy with some of the guys there. It was really crazy, but so much fun! I just picked the guys I liked and had sex with them. It's kind of hard to describe without sounding like a porn magazine, but suffice it to say that it was GREAT!
Better than my fantasies!
So- I did it again two weeks later. And that was the night, I met Nick.
Adorable Nicky who is 39, gorgeous and so much fun. I had sex with him and a couple of other guys... and it was great. And now we're dating and I have such a crush on him!

And then I met Rico at the club through a mutual friend. He's 42, completely gorgeous and sweet. He wants to quit the club scene and just go out with me.
But I'm so into Nicky.
And I'm still seeing Hot Boyfriend on the odd Sunday afternoon.

And then last night I was at my third gangbang and met two more amazing guys who want to date me-

My self esteem is quite good, as you may imagine! And I'm also pretty tired! Not that I'm complaining- it's all so much fun!

Interesting fact about me: the real gangbang thing is too much for me. My max is three guys at once. Managing four men or more at once is a bit overwhelming....

Another thing- I'm finding that I'm super-interested by bdsm. Who knew? Remember the nice woman from the first gangbang? Well, we've become friends and I'm sort of her student now. She likes to tie me up and take photos. No sex, as I'm really not bi. It's quite interesting.....

So, that's what I've been up to lately. Not much..... lol!
 
Wow, I've just looked at this last page of your diary, and after THAT last entry, I'll definitely be reading the rest haha.

I am the complete opposite of you- lights down low and i don't think I'd have the courage to bare all to a stranger. But phew lady, your getting me hot under the collar. I must have a very English stiff upper lip, whilst the only stiff things you've got are inside you. Stiff lower lips? Hmmmmm....

How much weight have you lost? Did losing it make you more uninhibited? x
 
Wow, I've just looked at this last page of your diary, and after THAT last entry, I'll definitely be reading the rest haha.

I am the complete opposite of you- lights down low and i don't think I'd have the courage to bare all to a stranger. But phew lady, your getting me hot under the collar. I must have a very English stiff upper lip, whilst the only stiff things you've got are inside you. Stiff lower lips? Hmmmmm....

How much weight have you lost? Did losing it make you more uninhibited? x

Well- it IS quite a story and cries out to be read from the beginning. I start out as a rather unadventurous, fairly happily married, 221lbs woman who has sex once every month or two.
Then it all kind of goes crazy.

I've lost a total of 83 pounds and it took about nine months. And yes, losing the weight completely changed how I feel about sex. Being proud of my body makes it so much easier to really enjoy myself and not worry that my partner is grossed-out by unattractive wobby flesh.

And I feel better about myself and that I deserve to be able ask for what I want and maybe get it! And the nice thing is, I'm finding lots of lovely people who want to give me what I want.


On Thurday night, I strutted right through the middle of crowded club dance floor wearing only thigh-high stockings and black leather boots! I was leading three men to a back room for some fun and games. All eyes were on me and I looked pretty damn hot! It was certainly something I wouldn't have DREAMED of a year ago. And I have some pretty crazy dreams.....
 
Last edited:
Dudeeee! That was AWESOME! So jealous. I met my Yank on a BDSM webiste--We've both been "in the lifestyle" for about 4 years so if you have any questions feel free to send them my way!

Love hearing about your adventures--You're so confident!!
 
Well, I've just finished reading your entire diary, and it really didn't disappoint. Well done for not sitting at home and being depressed but unable to get rid of your "husband", and for sticking to your diet over what must of been an incredibly difficult time for you. You really are such and inspiration.

I don't think I would ever have the guts to stride naked through a club wearing only boots and stockings, but I'm REALLY looking forwards to the day where i can do it at home. I bet you felt so sexy. You are completely gorgeous, and I am so jealous of your tum. x
 
Well, I've just finished reading your entire diary, and it really didn't disappoint. Well done for not sitting at home and being depressed but unable to get rid of your "husband", and for sticking to your diet over what must of been an incredibly difficult time for you. You really are such and inspiration.

I don't think I would ever have the guts to stride naked through a club wearing only boots and stockings, but I'm REALLY looking forwards to the day where i can do it at home. I bet you felt so sexy. You are completely gorgeous, and I am so jealous of your tum. x

Thanks so much! It hasn't always been easy, to say the least, but I've gained so much confidence in myself through these experiences!

I look forward to watching your progess and seeing how you change, Rainbow!


As for what I'm up to lately weight-wise....I've started again tracking everything I eat on the My Plate site. I quit back in February, but finally decided about five days ago that it could be useful for me again. I've really decided that I've maintained long enough and would like to lose a bit more. I'm doing it really slowly, sticking to 1500 calories per day and seeing how it goes. I'm only weighing in once a week, as I get SO mad and upset when the scale does crazy stuff like go up for no discernable reason. I might even have to only weigh in twice a month. I'll just see how it goes.

For anyone curious about my insane (in a great way!) sex life, here's an update: Rico is out of town, as is Nick.
Luckily, there is still my sexy Viking... I forgot to mention him before- naughty me! He's a really lovely Norwegian man who used to be captain on an oil tanker. Very sexy guy! We had one "normal" date...but on the second one we ended up in bed (and on the floor, couch, table, etc...). On our third date, we had a foursome with another couple. Very fun! I'm seeing him again Wednesday night, but it will just be the two of us...

On Thurday I'm spending the afternoon getting tied up by Mistress L, a very nice friend who likes to do shibari and suspensions.

And Sunday I'm seeing F., yet another new friend I met through friends at the club.

The owner of the club is also always trying to get me to meet up with him for some action. And I do like him. But it's just more fun right now to tease him. And, frankly, I've already got just about all the sex I can handle right now!

Busy, busy, busy....:)
 
I just LOVE reading about all your sexcapades!!! LOL!

Awesome job on the video you did too - I so did NOT imagine your voice sounding the way that it does. Your voice sounds very soft and sexy. And I think I was expecting more of an accent too.

Can't wait for the next one!
 
OMG! Your video was so cool, yay!! :) Maybe I can introduce myself with a video too some day, so exciting! :D
 
I loved your video as well, I can't wait to see the next one. You seem really nice, and i could listen to your voice alllllllll day long.

I haven't planned any mini goal treats, so I'm definitely going to do that :) Any excuse to go shopping is a good one!
 
Thanks so much for the positive feedback! With encouragement like this, I'll definitely make another.
And I hope you guys all do it, too. It would be so fun to really see and hear you!

I'm glad you guys like my voice! I sound quite different when I sing, though. I'm a soprano and my low range isn't actually that great....

My eating is going great! For the last 10 days I've been tracking my food and keeping the calories at 1500 or a bit below. And I haven't weighed myself. It just makes me too crazy. But my "skinny" pants are getting loose and there are other encouraging signs.... On the other hand, a favorite bra I put on last night was too big, so that sucked.... I would SO get breast augmentation, if I had the money to spare!!!!

As for other matters.... I saw Mistress L on Thursday. we have absolutely detrmined that I am 100% heterosexual, which is interesting to know. she's a bit disappointed, but is still happy to tie me up and take cool photos. She and her husband have a great photo studio in their home and take gorgeous pictures, so it's lots of fun!

Last night I spent, with Rico- who is just beyond adorable! We had dinner together at a small café near his house, at the edge of Lake Geneva. Then we had some of the best sex that I have ever personally experinced. Ever. Srsly.
And he is definitely not into the club scene...he just wants to be my sweetie and spend lots of time alone with me. He's really gorgeous, in every sense. SO nice and did I mention that he works part time as a stripper? He's got his own renovation business, but on the weekends, he sometimes dances at clubs. So...he is pretty physically astounding, as you may imagine.
I can't quite figure out why he thinks I'm so great, but I'm not complaining!!!!

On the other hand, he doesn't speak any English. And I have way less in common with him than I do with Nick. And now Nick is back from Africa and wants to see me on Monday...
I'm totally crazy about Nick, but the downside is that he has a girlfriend that he lives with. Kind of not so great. He's 39 and never been married. And his girlfriend is much younger and I'm pretty sure the plan is for them to start a family. And I'm SO not there in my program! On the other hand, I could easily see myself falling in love with him, which would just be awful.... Definitely dangerous waters!

This is such a soap opera...and I'm having the time of my life, people! I'm such a bad girl!
 
I really want to hear your singing voice, it must be amazing if you are considering opera singing! Maybe you could sing your next youtube vid musical style haha. Maybe you could be a wedding singer or something and save the money in a separate account to get implants? Personally i like small boobs, but if you are not happy then why not change them?

Wow, Rico sounds hot! And a LOT of fun!!! Where did you meet him?

Mmmmhhhh, think you might be swimming in dangerous waters with Nick. Do you think if he left his gf that there could be something more between you two? Love makes everything messy in situations like this i think.
 
WOW!! All I got when I lost all my weight was some new pants-LOL. Sounds like you have started a whole new chapter to your life, Rox. Good for you!! Sounds like you are putting that new body through its paces though-LOL. You don't really need to workout anymore at least not in the conventional way. Keep up the good work!!
 
A musical weight-loss video? Crazy idea, Ruthie, but it just might work! lol!

I probably won't ever have the surgery...even if I saved the money, there are so many other, more important needs.... It's just a daydream.

But at least in a few areas of my life, dreams are coming true! I met Rico through a friend. Patricia is a very cool woman I know from the club. Rico is her ex...they were together for eight years. She thought that Rico and I would get along and made it a pointv to introduce us. I thought he was great and ended up having sex with him and the guy I'd gone to the club with (A., who is married and has a terrible crush on me) The both of them were VERY fun, I have to admit....
So, I know he shares well (lol!) but that doesn't really interest him. And I have to say that he's so great that one on one action is plenty satisfying.

As for Nick...I'm going VERY cautiously. You know, I'm not sure I'd want him if he left his girlfriend. I know it's odd. I'm so used to being emotionally distant that the affective side of all this is hard for me....
 
Just have fun and don't take anything too seriously. After what a shit the husband was you don't want to get too attached or tied down until you've healed completely from what he put you through. Just enjoy life and be sexyyyy!!
 
Back
Top