**phoebe's diary**

P

phoebe1

New member
My name is phoebe. I am almost 35 years old, female living in Canada. I am 5'10" and I weigh 180 pounds. The heaviest I've ever been was 197 pounds, that was 3 years ago.

I used to be super skinny until I was 26. I was 118 pounds until then. Then I went on anti-depressants and pills for my migraines. My doctor TOLD me that I would gain weight. I pushed past 160 pounds to 172 pounds and then where I am now. I am 180 pounds. I am no longer on these pills, but I am having a TOUGH time losing weight. I blame more than the pills, I turned to food when I was in an abusive relationship, when work sucked, when I was depressed, which was often...

So what is the problem, I work out an hour a day, 6 times a week. The thing is I can't eat properly. I eat as much as my boyfriend eats and sometimes more. Portion size -- I have no idea what that is... Working out is not a problem -- eating is.

This is where I need help. Recipies, food, menus, anything to help me out. I can eat anything except seafood -- fish, shrimp -- that is a nono. Motivation, ideas where to eat out if I need to eat out-- what to order...

but...

How do I also deal with this other problem -- people trying to sabotage my eating habits, you know, pushing food on me like they are drug dealers, making faces when I get my dinner placed in a doggie bag or ordering the smaller size. My Mother laughs at me when I tell her I am watching what I eat, she agrees with me that I am fat, she keeps old clothes I used to wear when I was in high school.

As for any sickness or problems with health, just heart problems, my Dad had a heart attack when he was 68 -- he is 71 and eats better, but doesn't work out as much as he does. He gardens a lot, but used to walk miles....

At the beginning of this year I weighed 185.5 pounds. I am 180 pounds now and it is almost the end of March. I figure it is my portion size or something... overeating...

My birthday is July 3rd and I want at least to be 160 pounds, realistically it can happen, right? My dream is to be 140 pounds by the end of the year... I know 125 pounds is way way away.. but I can only dream.

I hate being a size 18 and having to buy my pants in the men's section at Walmart. People who have not seen me since I was 25 say I have grown -- big.. big boobs, big middle section, big big.. big... and yeah, my social life is effected by this. I don't like going out hardly, no friends, I would rather just stay at home.

This is my diary... welcome to it.
 
I'll agree the hardest part of losing weight is having to be around people that aren't supportive, especially if they're actually destructive to your goals! I wish there were magic words we could say to those people to get them to understand that this is important - its our health that we're dealing with, and long term changes. This isn't some fad diet that will be over in a month. All you can really do is bear them and live by example until they realize you are serious about it. Sometimes a bit of a speech helps, and telling them straight up that you are trying to become healthy and fit, and their negative attitude does not help at all. Its worth a try at least :)

I've also found that this place is a great source of support. Everyone here has the same goal of becoming healthy and there are tons of places where you can get ideas for recipes or activities. One that I'll start you off with is to buy a big water bottle that you can easily carry around. Always keep it filled, and drink lots of it! At least 2L a day if you can manage, and work up to 3 or even 4 (don't go much higher than 4L a day though, you can throw off your electrolyte balance and cause more harm than good).

If you stick to it, I know you can reach your goals! :D
 
thanks hun, right now I drink between 3-4 glasses of water... I will buy a big water bottle this week -- promise! I even stopped drinking water while I was working out, I have a treadmill, bike and a home gym in the basemement, tonight when I work out I will take a few glasses with me downstairs... but yeah, a water bottle is something on my list to buy... thanks for reminding me...

Yeah, I have two people who try to sabotage my goals, they know I am trying to lose weight... one who even works at Tim Horton's.. *sighs*
 
Well This Is What I Would Do Well Actually It Is What I Do Actually Do And Most Will Tell You I Am A Good Person And Wouldnt Hurt Anyone On Purpose But Its Your Life And Your Health So You Have To Do What Is Best For You To Succeed! I Would Tell Them What You Plan To Do And If They Are Not Supportive And Know How Serious You Feel And Need Them Then I Would Avoid Them Because If They Can Hurt Your Feelings And Not Support You They Will Know How It Feels When There Feelings Are Hurt When You Wont Be Around Them!
 
I got a water bottle and today's goal is to use fill it up twice -- I will start at this number to see how it goes. Then on Sunday I will fill it up three times... I don't know if I will get up to eight fills-- but who knows.

Thanks rnw for the tips.

Today I will post what I ate all day, not forgetting a thing. I already looked up a diet for 1200-1500 calories but have to go grocery shopping for some of the items on the menus.

Anyways, have a good day!
 
HEY! I found you! :) I keep my water bottle with me all the time and just drink constantly.. well not constantly but I mean I've always got it there and really it's gotten easier to drink so much water - you'll work your way into it, you're making a good start though! When it comes to your friends - they may not realize how important this is to you.. they don't count calories or watch their fat intake so they dont realize how even just a donut or something small can really ruin a diet. You tell them though that you really want to do this - and that when it's over, then you guys can indulge more often. They'll understand if you really let them know it's a big deal to you. Can't wait to see how you did today! Cheers!
 
hi elizab3th, how is my Edmonton friend? ... I don't know how well I did today. We went grocery shopping, the bill came to $133 but we got a lot of food from Superstore.

So far I have had only 4 glasses of water. My water bottle is in the dishwasher drying. I worked out for an hour today, weights, bike, and treadmill...

For Breakfast I had:

1 glass of water
1/2 cup of tea with sugar, I didn't finish it all... it started as a cup
1 Bran bar
1 apple

Lunch:
1 glass of water
multi-vitamin
2 cups of vegetable soup
1 Twirl chocolate bar... and I felt bad for having this but I just ate it...

Now for dinner I have no idea what to eat... and do I deprieve myself of a snack because I had a Twirl? Crap-- It is almost 5pm and I have no idea what to do....

We bought a lot of fruit and vegetables.. rasbperries, apples, red peppers, mushrooms, salad, pita bread, pears... for meat I went with pork and vegetable burgers. At Smuggler's Inn they serve these awesome veggie burgers and I watched a friend eat one without the top bun, bizarre! I just want to cut down on my red meat consumption... I got chicken thawing out... chicken I am not a fan of... but my boyfriend likes it... I need it mixed with something like alfredo sauce, may and mustard.. not all at once... *sighs* what to do.. any one know of any good chicken recipies?

Thanks christianava for the welcome... I am going to check out the other diaries. I don't know how I am going to fit in 8 glasses of water.
 
Hi!

Just wanted to say Hi and that it looks like your off to a good start. I've only been here a week so far, but it has already helped motivate me. Glad to meet you and hopefully we can talk.
 
I bombed tonight with dinner.. hot dog, 2 tacos, 2 pepperoni sticks, a granola bar filled with chocolate... no more water -- forget it, I am PISSED! I am so upset and depressed right now... WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS???!!!!!

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :( :( :( :( :( :(
 
Happy St. Patrick's Day

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I am depressed, I could eat more tonight, but right now I can't control what I eat. I tried printing off a 1500 calorie diet for me to follow. I have no idea if it is good.

Breakfast:
1 cup of water
15 raspberries
2 strawberries
1 Bran bar
1 cup of coffee

Lunch:
whole wheat bun with 2 pieces of turkey, lettuce, pickles, cuccumbers, mayo and mustard and some shredded cheese and 1/2 a granola bar and 2 glasses of water.

Snack:
pepperoni stick

Dinner:?????

I ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill and rode the bike for 30 minutes.

I don't know how to get real.

I start my new job tomorrow and usually that brings on anxiety to impress. Then I eat. Eat.. eat... eat...

Maybe I can get rid of the cheese, pickles, mayo and mustard in my sandwich for the new week if I have it again.
 
phoebe, you're being too hard on yourself if you ask me.
I'm willing to bet that every one of us has had that moment where we just let loose.
I have to stop myself on a nightly basis, actually. >.>

Anyway, I've been keeping a diary of what I eat, clipping the nutritional labels off of anything I can and using for whatever I can't. It really helps to control my calories, because I can actually see what I've already eaten. Plus, it helps you to keep track of other important things like fiber, protein, carbs and sodium.

I know that sometimes it seems like a lot of work, but it's been a great deal of help to me. Just a suggestion!

Stay positive!
 
Pheobe I Know It Is Hard An I Know You Will Get Better It Will Take Timeand We Are Here For You! Luna Has A Good Idea To Help You Keep Track Maybe And Your Mind Off Stuff!
 
Thanks Luna for the link. I am going to start writing down everyting I eat starting tomorrow. It's been a bad weekend for me, hopefully the new week will be much more positive.
 
Anytime, phoebe. You can do it!

I've been having kind of a hard day today myself. Every free moment I've had to myself has involved daydreams of an entire bag of Oreos.
However, I've grabbed a glass of water instead, and tried to keep myself busy. It's amazing how much housework pops up when you need something to do. ;)
 
Hey Luna,

Gonna weigh myself on the last day this month before I head off to Edmonton to see my parents. Hopefully I will be in the 170's region. Hopefully. I didn't lose any pounds last month so who knows....

I got a book to write all my stuff in on what I eat, and that calorie page should help.... *crosses fingers*:rolleyes:
 
I am back but really I am in no mood to write. I had some major changes in my life that yes, has affected my weight. I lost some pounds but I am still fat.

I don't know what else to write. I am off all the diet pills.

If anyone has questions about the weight loss pills, REV, that you can buy at Walmart, pm me.

Or Herbal Magic or however you spell it, pm me... that was the WORST experience I ever had with losing weight.

I won't be posting in public what those two things did to me.

Anyways.... your turn.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top